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[Lord_lemonpie]

Delicious Hounds:
You gain +3 persuasion when talking to someone eating dog meat.

[OceanSoul]

Delicious Pounds: Replaces a single heavy object with an equal weight of heavy foods, such as pound cake, dense fudge, a whole cow's beef/pig's pork, heavy cream, and fruitcake. When used on European currency, turns it into delicious and nutritious chocolate coins.

[Draignean]

Malicious Rounds: A number of ammunition items become sentient and malicious, inflicting greater damage and worse status effects on struck enemies, and being a general pain in the neck otherwise.

[OceanSoul]

Malicious Sounds: Enchants one or more musical instruments to hypnotize those who hear their music (other than the players of the instruments) into doing bad deeds, inflict harm on others or themselves, or acting with their sins or moral flaws enhanced. While playing music, all within hearing range take 33% more damage. If the spell hits no instruments, the spell targets the vocal chords of those nearby the caster for a one-use affect.

[Puppyguard]

Magic Reflection Sphere
A blue, transparent sphere forms around the user that has a chance to bounce back spells for 10 minutes, and any spells cast from inside the sphere are only half as effective. The sphere can be dispelled by the caster at any time.
If this spell fails, the user will have a magic implosion.

[OceanSoul]

(Aw, you broke the chain! Oh well, time for puns)

A Tack-on Titan: Creates a large metal tack that, when stuck into a solid, decently immovable surface, creates a large, 10 story or so tall giant bound to that point on the surface by the tack. If the tack is removed, the titan also disappears. The abilities, properties, and personality of the titan depend on if/how the tack is enchanted and what the tack is stuck into.

[Karnewarrior]

Maga's Greater Memetic Distortion [Spirit Magic Master/Light Magic Expert | 30 Mana]: Caster immediately becomes a memetic great presence to any sentient creatures (to include Humanoids, Canids, Felinids, And most other mammals with Lesser or Greater Understanding: Language), making them unwilling to attack such a figure of reverence, unless that creature is from a culture which understands fighting to be a sign of respect, in which case the creature will stop at nothing to combat the user. Any command or other statement the Caster issues is taken to be an absolute, literal statement of fact, or command, and the creature will deny evidence to the contrary unless such evidence is shown unequivocally and in the line of sight to be false, in which case the creature rolls 1d6 at a DC of 6 to break free of the memetic distortion. If the creature passes this roll, he cannot be effected by memetic magic for 4d6 hours. If the creature fails, he denies that the Caster ever said the disproven statement, and cannot reroll to free himself for 3d6 hours. The effects of this magic lasts for 12 hours, unless a toupee of Memetic Lordship is worn, in which case the spell effect is permanent.

Man, that guys a great meme. I mean really, a really great meme. I've never seen any memes like him before, just a fountain of memes. Every day I go to bed wondering what he's going to do next, waking up wondering if he did something while I was asleep. Eventually, I stopped sleeping. I had to see him more, I had to know him more. I clung to every word he said like the gospel, repeated them as I dozed in front of the television, watching and waiting for him to appear again, live, saying more and more things. The things he said were indescribable. They stuck to my brain like glue, latching on and burrowing into my skull like so many steel pylons, driving out my thoughts until all I had was him, him driving my life, driving my thought pattern. He would say jump, and I would jump as high as I could. I never even asked why, I just did it. It was fun. Just fun. Playing, watching , laughing, loving. There's nothing wrong with any of those things. Life can't be lived without laughter. You can't go through life a negative nancy like that. So I jumped. And I laughed. And he wormed his way inside and he's still not out.

~Anonymous
On the Memetosphere Tonight...

((So I've been playing a bit of SMAC lately...))

[OceanSoul]

Manga's Greater Distortion: Alters reality in  the area the caster is currently in, giving those within it big, multicolored hair, oversized physical weapons, complex attack names that must be said before/during the attack, and the like.

[Lord_lemonpie]

Mama's Grater Distortion:
When cast on a cheese grater owned by a female humanoid that had sired offspring, this grater will turn into a Grate-axe dealing 5d6 damage per swing.

[OceanSoul]

Mama's G-Rated Censortion: When used by a child's maternal figure, alters a book, sound, movie, etc. inappropriate for young children, whether by crude language, imagery, adult acts, gore, etc. as to exclude said content and appear child-friendly. This can be a permanent change, or merely an illusion that applies to said children.

[FallacyofUrist]

Is anybody ever going to use this for a game? Again, I mean.
~~~
A Horrible Spell: Target faints. While unconscious, they will suffer dreams of horrific things. When they awaken, they may not be as sane as they were when they fainted...

[OceanSoul]

Horrid Bell Spell: Creates or enchants a bell that, for 2d6 rounds of combat, invokes terrible and painful thoughts and memories in those that hear it, stunning and/or dealing 1d8+2 mental damage. The ringer of the bell, if they did so intentionally, gets advantage on the will save, but they lose sanity if they ring got continuously for long enough, possibly permanently.

[Lord_lemonpie]

Drain Mucus:
All mucus, slime, goo and other sticky organical substances in an area of 4 feet around the caster is drained from wherever it resides, and gathered into a large ball. After 1d4 turns this ball explodes, stunning ALL creatures in an area of 10 feet for 1d3 turns per creature.

[OceanSoul]

Train Mucus: All relatively sticky organically substances comparable to mucus within a radius of 5 feet from a point the caster chooses within 15 ft. of themself becomes animate for d3 hours, with the intelligence of a dog. The construct is somewhat obedient to the caster, increasing in obedience every time the caster cast Train Mucus on the construct in the past. After 5 casts, the construct lasts indefinitely.

[birdy51]

Crane Mucus - All mucus, slime, goo and other sticky organically substances that work like mucus within the circumference of 6 feet of the caster coalesces into a mighty Crane. The Crane lasts for as long as it remains in the original 6 feet radius and may be used as flying mount covering 10 Miles per Hour.