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Author Topic: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.  (Read 4244 times)

MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.
« Reply #15 on: September 01, 2016, 06:49:19 pm »

Investigate if your college has a debate team. I went from zero friends to one friend to about twenty friends due to joining debate team, it's great. The circumstances basically force everybody into friendship...uh...in a good way.
That sounds good except AAAAAAA PUBLIC SPEAKING AAAAAAA
It's not easy starting out, but if you stick with it you'll get over it. It'll stay for the rest of your life, too.

It's also a lot easier than full fledged audience speaking since you'll start out within the team, and with small audiences during rounds after that. The bigger crowds only attract for quarter-finals upwards.
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Empiricist

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Re: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.
« Reply #16 on: September 01, 2016, 06:55:36 pm »

Take an interest in what other people are chatting about, especially in tutorials (board tutorials for maths especially, if you have any), a lot of people won't mind if you just insert yourself into the conversation so long as you contribute and whatnot. Bonding over classwork is probably the easiest option initially, and then you can get to know people your friends know.

And yeah, debating helps at lot, even if it's terrifying at first. I used to be absurdly shy, but getting dragged into a debating competition (by friends who also had literally no experience) helped change that.
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spümpkin

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Re: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.
« Reply #17 on: September 01, 2016, 07:23:24 pm »

Even when people are in twos, just sidling upto them and saying hi isn't going to be that rude. It's how people meet, after all. Go up and say hi, see if they're interested. Expect rejection, but try anyway.
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NRDL

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Re: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.
« Reply #18 on: September 02, 2016, 12:13:57 am »

Yeah, addressing any anxieties or innate dislike of certain activities would be a good first step, doing something that you would literally never have thought yourself doing is a major move towards personal growth, which one can imagine opens up a whole hell of a lot more in terms of potential life experiences.

As for practical recommendations, I'm afraid I don't know enough about your college to help.  I'd say just pick up a random newspaper, find any activities in it.  Dance classes, volunteering work, literally find all your options, roll a dice, pick one at random, and see it through, see if you like it.  If you don't, no biggie.  If you do, so much potential for fun and human interaction.
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Trapezohedron

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Re: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.
« Reply #19 on: September 02, 2016, 02:59:48 pm »

Have you just started college? Got around in the mid-point? About to graduate? Those factors are important to assess, if only because if you're naturally introverted, it will take more effort getting acquainted to someone else at that point because a majority of them will already have made their own cliques and will unlikely be willing to expand outside.

Usually, you can get to know people during group projects; those are the most efficient points of opportunity, especially if they're multi-phased (aka not done in a classroom setting in one go for one class). The farther you get in college, the rarer the opportunities for 'befriending' will be. It does still happen, though, but they're hit-or-miss at 3rd year or so, and only serendipity, kindness, jokes and diligence will perhaps see you through getting some people.

Your entry points should really be your hobbies; it's much, much more efficient that way. If you can find someone interested in music or performing, go and take the opportunity to do small talk - ask them about what they're playing, how long they've been playing it. Stuff like that. Breaking the ice is the hardest, but having a common topic to talk about, and the relative rarity of said hobby in the environment, the easier it will be to maintain and establish a regular talking relationship with a peer.

If not, you could perhaps afford to go out to lunch with other people - especially if you can treat them to a meal. People start remembering you when you do something semi-significant to them, but while this is the easiest, mind you that you will likely be exploited if you keep doing things like this - like treating them to a meal at your cost.

Might you be interested in expanding to Digital Audio Workstation hobbies, perhaps? Those kinds of things - like telling people you produce your own music, and especially if you have something to back it up, can really work wonders getting them to open up topics.
« Last Edit: September 02, 2016, 03:03:20 pm by Trapezohedron »
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.
« Reply #20 on: September 02, 2016, 03:22:38 pm »

Just started.
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hawkeye_de

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Re: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.
« Reply #21 on: September 03, 2016, 06:20:26 am »

After recently realizing I have exactly zero friends that aren't only on the Internet, I figure I probably need some advice on making them.

How am I supposed to get to know people, on a relatively large college campus?

My interests are basically Bay12, video games, and reading.  I play the violin, but I can already tell I'm not going to make friends from the orchestra.

Also I absolutely detest partying.

Any advice?

I guess you're an introvert like me too ?

What about doing sports...I'm not from the US, but I would guess there are sport activities offered at Colleges/Universities. You might get know some people there and as a plus you will feel better after doing some exercises. And no excuses you do not like sports ;)...I had the same attitude but you can change that ^^...

Else, I can only recommend what the other guys here also told you: Try to find some new interests...it will increase the likelihood that you meet new potential friends...

Wish you luck and keep it trying ^^

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TheBiggerFish

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Re: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.
« Reply #22 on: September 03, 2016, 09:42:38 am »

Ahghghh not the sports
it burns
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NRDL

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Re: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.
« Reply #23 on: September 03, 2016, 10:01:14 am »

Just out of curiosity, is it the overwhelming physical taxation that makes sports unpleasant, or the actual sports themselves?  Stuff like ball sports don't appeal to me due to the team nature of them, other people dislike solitary sports, some prefer direct competition over just competing against one's own performance, etc.

Probably getting a bit sidetracked, I've always just been curious. 
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.
« Reply #25 on: September 03, 2016, 10:55:29 am »

It's the physical exertion bit.  Can't muster the willpower.

I must admit that I'm kind of intrigued by fencing, of all things to be intrigued by that are sports, though.
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TD1

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Re: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.
« Reply #26 on: September 03, 2016, 11:14:57 am »

Just out of curiosity, is it the overwhelming physical taxation that makes sports unpleasant, or the actual sports themselves?  Stuff like ball sports don't appeal to me due to the team nature of them, other people dislike solitary sports, some prefer direct competition over just competing against one's own performance, etc.

Probably getting a bit sidetracked, I've always just been curious.

Personally, I'm just not interested in them. It's not that I care about the exertion, more that I don't have any enthusiasm for it. If I had a reason, I'd do it - for example if I wanted to lose weight. Given that I stay skinny as a rake no matter how much I eat, this does not concern me at the moment.
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vishdafish

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Re: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.
« Reply #27 on: September 03, 2016, 11:38:41 am »

I would recommend a sport of some sorts. I personally find that I make friends pretty easily when I do sports. You develop a sort of healthy respect for each other. Maybe look for clubs around your campus or something? You can try badminton (my personal favorite), or less physically demanding sports if you want. Snooker, bowling, table tennis and golf are all options if you dont like physical ones. Also, its less awkward than just starting a random conversation with random people on your campus.
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hector13

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Re: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.
« Reply #28 on: September 03, 2016, 11:45:14 am »

'murricans don't snooker.
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NRDL

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Re: How to make friends and influence people. Mostly making friends though.
« Reply #29 on: September 03, 2016, 05:56:08 pm »

It's the physical exertion bit.  Can't muster the willpower.

I must admit that I'm kind of intrigued by fencing, of all things to be intrigued by that are sports, though.

Fencing actually sounds awesome.  Have you ever considered HEMA, Historical European Martial Arts?  It's European sword fighting, check out people like Skallagrim on youtube. 
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