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[Eatnobles4breakfast]

Okay, so i'm new at this, trying to make my crummy little fortress run smoothly. Then i notice that my cook/farmer is responsible for the majority of my entire wealth! Intrigued by my feline curiosity, i take a glance at what he has come up wtih, and i am supprised at how he can turn two plump helmets into plump helmet buscuts!
So, like a niave little nooblet, i continue my observation of the dishes he creates...
I gleefuly anticipate something amazing when my cook throws some squash over that plump helmet, only to be disguested beyond reconing!
I know dwarves will eat anything, spiders, goblins, even groundhog gruel, but who in their dwarfing mind would ever eat PLUMP HELMET-SQUASH COOKIES?!!?

Please share any other awful disguesting objects your masochist cooks can come up with!

[Dr. Melon]

How about biscuits made of beer, plump helmets, and groundhog meat.

Nobody ate it throughout the entire of my Fortress's life.

[Crnobog]

cat tallow roast

[WingDing]

[Tyrving]

quote:Originally posted by WingDing:
<STRONG>SUGAR</STRONG>

I think your dwarves would need some +insulin+ after eating one of those...

[ June 05, 2008: Message edited by: Tyrving ]

[WingDing]

quote: I think your dwarves would need some +insulin+ after eating one of those...

I'm more surprised that they bothered to mince the sugar. It was already ground into sugar grains at a millstone so why did they have to mince it? And more importantly how do you mince grains of sugar!?

[Bunny]

My fortress cook appeared to be very fond of mussels...

Horse biscuits.  Ingredients: minced raw mussels, minced raw mussels, minced raw mussels and finely minced horse meat.

Sugar roast.  Ingredients: minced raw mussels, minced raw mussels, minced raw mussels and minced dwarven sugar.

mmmmmMMMMMMmmmmm... sweet, sticky, minced raw mussels.

Seriously, like every meal this guy cooked included 3 loads of raw mussel for EVERYTHING else.  It's not even like we had that many more mussels than anything else; plump helmets and kitten meat were our biggest produce.

[Aqizzar]

I have a load of roasts now made entirely of plump helmet spawn.  Mmm mushroom spore roast.  Yeah, nobody's touching it.  Even the few made with a rhesus maquac tallow substrate.

Serious question - I had a bunch of fish sitting around not being cooked because I wanted the bones, but they went ignored so long they got Xworn outX.  I figured my bone stockpile was fine, so I had them all made into fish roast.  The description doesn't say anthing about ingredient quality besides preperation, but nobody touches them either.  Does ingredient quality affect meal quality?

[Elvenshae]

quote:Originally posted by WingDing:
<STRONG>
I'm more surprised that they bothered to mince the sugar. It was already ground into sugar grains at a millstone so why did they have to mince it? And more importantly how do you mince grains of sugar!?</STRONG>

Powdered / Confectioner's Sugar?

[Dwarmin]

Giant Cave Spider meat soup with minced Milk and watermelon seeds? WTH!

[Klendt]

quote:Originally posted by Elvenshae:
<STRONG>

Powdered / Confectioner's Sugar?</STRONG>

That still doesn't answer how it's even remotely possible to mince flour. Or booze, for that matter.

[umiman]

Have you ever wondered how they manage to turn seeds and spores into biscuits?

And what's wrong with squash and mushrooms eh? You spoiled picky eaters should finish everything on your plate!

[Elvenshae]

quote:Originally posted by Klendt:
<STRONG>

That still doesn't answer how it's even remotely possible to mince flour. Or booze, for that matter.</STRONG>

Obviously, stone-ground flour is rather coarse.  Mincing it refines it, so you end up with something like French bread rather than cornbread.

And as for booze, well, dwarven booze isn't made with water, so you gotta imagine that it's pretty thick stuff.  As they say, it's hard to drown in dwarven rum, but it's easy to suffocate.

[Okay, that's actually the Ankh River, but work with me here!]

[Duke 2.0]

quote:Originally posted by Elvenshae:
<STRONG>

Powdered / Confectioner's Sugar?</STRONG>

So the sugar meal is basically just something to mix in with some beer like a pixie stick?

Pixie sticks in beer... I gotta try that when I'm legal.

[Bunny]

quote:  Pixie sticks in beer... I gotta try that when I'm legal.

Trust me... it's gross.

Stick to jelly sweets in vodka, chocolate and rum, and liqueurs drizzled over ice cream.