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Author Topic: ROLL TO WESTERN  (Read 3425 times)

Yoink

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ROLL TO WESTERN
« on: August 29, 2016, 06:44:36 am »

HOWDY PARDNER

WELCOME TA DIRTSVILLE, OUT ON THE FRONTIER

I RECKON SOMEONE STRUCK GOLD OR SOMESUCH AN' NOW SUDDENLY THERE'S THIS RAMSHACKLE TOWN OUT HERE IN THE DESERT
I GUESS YER SEEKIN' YER FORTUNE OR SOMETHIN' ALONG THOSE LINES

UH

OH YEAH AND YOU'RE IN ONE OF THREE SALOONS

IT'S CALLED "sALo0N" ACCORDIN' TO THE SIGN
GOT THEM FANCY BATWING DOORS AN' EVERYTHING

SOME FELLA PLAYING PIANO AS ONE SOLITARY DANCING GAL WITH WHAT APPEARS TO BE A WOODEN LEG DANCES UNSTEADILY ON STAGE

REST OF PLACE PRETTYPURTY DANG EMPTY

>WHAT DO?
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

NRDL

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Re: ROLL TO WESTERN
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2016, 06:49:16 am »

Grab me a strong stiff drink.
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.

Yoink

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Re: ROLL TO WESTERN
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2016, 06:52:23 am »

Grab me a strong stiff drink.
[2] YOU MOSEY ON OVER TO THE BAR, READY TO ORDER, BUT THERE AIN'T NO SIGN OF NO BARTENDER! THAT LAZY SUMBITCH!
WHAT KINDA BARTENDER JUST UP AN' WANDERS OFF? THEY'RE S'POSED TA BE STANDIN' AROUND POLISHING GLASSES OR SOMETHIN'!
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

NRDL

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Re: ROLL TO WESTERN
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2016, 06:57:01 am »

Chat up any pretty lasses in the bar.
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.

Sosoku234

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Re: ROLL TO WESTERN
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2016, 07:58:08 am »

Let's start a bar fight!

Punch the nearest guy and blame it on another guy.
Logged
Monster stowage inventory running low. Starting #2 Monster Pump, filling #4 Monster tank, via #2a Demonizer.

Yoink

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Re: ROLL TO WESTERN
« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2016, 08:20:56 am »

Chat up any pretty lasses in the bar.
[4] YOU WANDER OVER TOWARDS THE STAGE AND TAKE A GANDER AT THE DANCER

...HMM ALRIGHT
NOT GREAT AT DANCING AND MAYBE A BIT WEATHERED FOR YOUR TASTES

BUT YOU DECIDE TO TRY YOUR LUCK (THERE AREN'T ANY OTHER GALS IN THE PLACE THAT YOU CAN SEE)

A BIT OF ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE AND SUDDENLY IT'S AS THOUGH SHE'S DANCING JUST FOR YOU

...WAIT, SHE KINDA IS. NOBODY ELSE REALLY WATCHING, ESPECIALLY NOW EVERYONE'S DISTRACTED BY SOME SORTA FIGHT THAT JUST BROKE OUT

OH WELL, SHE SEEMS QUITE FLATTERED TO ACTUALLY HAVE A DECENT AUDIENCE, EVEN IF IT IS ONE MAN

Let's start a bar fight!

Punch the nearest guy and blame it on another guy.
[4] YOU PUNCH SOME BIG MINER-LOOKING TYPE IN THE KIDNEYS THEN QUICKLY SIDLE AWAY AS HE JUMPS UP FROM HIS CHAIR

HE GROWLS AND STOMPS OVER TO SHOVE SOME GUY FROM THE NEXT TABLE ONTO THE FLOOR
THAT FELLA QUICKLY GETS TO HIS FEET, ALONG WITH THE PALS HE WAS DRINKING WITH

THEY STARIN' EACH OTHER DOWN, REAL MEAN-LIKE, LOOKS LIKE A DUST-UP'S COMING RIGHT UP!
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

NRDL

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Re: ROLL TO WESTERN
« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2016, 08:26:52 am »

Charm the pretty lady.
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.

ziizo

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Re: ROLL TO WESTERN
« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2016, 08:30:46 am »

Start drinking alcohol you are not drunk enough for a bar fight and you want to participate
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

Coolrune206

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Re: ROLL TO WESTERN
« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2016, 08:51:29 am »

Instigate a secondary bar fight between the observers of the ongoing bar fight.
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"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

Poohbah

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Re: ROLL TO WESTERN
« Reply #9 on: August 29, 2016, 09:26:38 am »

grab a pistol and shoot the piano player because his music sucks
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Sosoku234

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Re: ROLL TO WESTERN
« Reply #10 on: August 29, 2016, 02:37:24 pm »

This
Start drinking alcohol you are not drunk enough for a bar fight and you want to participate

then
grab a pistol and shoot the piano player because his music sucks

then
throw the rest of the alcohol into the dead piano player's gunshot wound.
Logged
Monster stowage inventory running low. Starting #2 Monster Pump, filling #4 Monster tank, via #2a Demonizer.

Andres

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Re: ROLL TO WESTERN
« Reply #11 on: August 29, 2016, 05:41:52 pm »

Turn into a Super Saiyan
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All fanfics are heresy, each and every one, especially the shipping ones. Those are by far the worst.

Nidilap

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Re: ROLL TO WESTERN
« Reply #12 on: August 29, 2016, 08:58:03 pm »

Seems like there's a bit of a scuffle. Better use my double barrel to escape safely. Only shoot those who run at me. Not likely considering this bearkiller
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Nidilap likes Adamantine, Bituminous Coal, Garnets, Cats for their aloofness, Dwarves for their stupidity, and Swords for their Spikes and edges. When possible, he prefers to eat pizza, ramen noodles, and sushi. He absolutely detests elves and spiders. He needs MTN DEW to get through the working day.

A medium- sized creature prone to great ambition, but only when he feels like it.

Egan_BW

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Re: ROLL TO WESTERN
« Reply #13 on: August 31, 2016, 09:29:50 am »

Rob bank across the street.
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I would starve tomorrow if I could eat the world today.

Yoink

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Re: ROLL TO WESTERN
« Reply #14 on: September 05, 2016, 08:44:23 am »

Charm the pretty lady.
[5] POOR OL' DORA'S PRETTY LONELY THESE DAYS
NOBODY PAYS HER MUCH ATTENTION, WHAT WITH THE YOUNGER, PRETTIER AND LESS-CLOTHED DANCERS AT THE BETTER SALOON ACROSS THE STREET

SHE LEAVES THE STAGE (MUCH TO THE OLD PIANIST FELLA'S DISMAY) AND PRETTY SOON YOU HAVE HER EATING OUT OF THE PALM OF YER HAND
...FIGURATIVELY

Follower Acquired: Dora the dancer!

Start drinking alcohol you are not drunk enough for a bar fight and you want to participate
[3] SEEING THINGS START TO HEAT UP, YOU QUICKLY GRAB UP AN ALMOST-FULL GLASS OF WHISKEY FROM A TABLE AND GULP IT DOWN

"HEY!"
THE OWNER OF SAID DRINK LEAPS UP AND PUNCHES YOU IN THE FACE

YOU REEL BACK, CRASH INTO ANOTHER TABLE
WELL, THAT'S KINDA WHAT YOU WANTED, RIGHT? JUST WISH THAT BOOZE WOULD KICK IN SOON, YOUR FACE HURTS...

State Gained: Stunned! (-1 to actions requiring coordination next turn)
Injury Gained: Punched Face!


Instigate a secondary bar fight between the observers of the ongoing bar fight.
[5] LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S TRYING TO STEAL YOUR IDEA, BUT YOU GON' GET IN THERE QUICK

LIKE SOME SORT OF MODERN-DAY SCHOOLYARD BULLY, YOU SHOVE ONE ONLOOKER INTO THE BACK OF SOME BIG BRUTE, WHO SIMPLY WHIRLS AROUND WITH A WILD PUNCH AND KNOCKS THE POOR INTERMEDIARY UNCONSCIOUS ONTO HIS TABLE, SCATTERING GLASSES, CARDS AND BOTTLES

HIS FRIENDS ALL JUMP UP AND RUSH THEIR BIGGER OPPONENT, AND SHORTLY A WHOLE NEW BRAWL HAS STARTED

SOON THE WHOLE ROOM WILL PROBABLY MERGE INTO ONE BIG DANG BRAWL

grab a pistol and shoot the piano player because his music sucks
[4] YOU LUG OUT YOUR PISTOL AND SHOOT THE POOR OL' PIANO PLAYER

HE GOES FROM MOPING SILENTLY IN HIS SEAT TO WRITHING AROUND ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING, CLUTCHING HIS LEG

GOOD SHOT
[6] VS [3]
SOME DRUNKEN FOOL COMES UP AND MAKES A GRAB FOR YOUR TRUSTY SIXSHOOTER, SO YOU SHOOT 'EM. THEN AGAIN FOR GOOD MEASURE.
AIN'T NOBODY TAKIN' YER SHOOTIN' IRON, NOSIREE.

Item Acquired: Revolver! (3/5 shots)

This
Start drinking alcohol you are not drunk enough for a bar fight and you want to participate

then
grab a pistol and shoot the piano player because his music sucks

then
throw the rest of the alcohol into the dead piano player's gunshot wound.
[5] YOU GRAB A WHOLE BOTTLE OF SOMETHING, LEFT UNATTENDED BUT UNSPILLED WHEN ITS OWNERS WERE SWEPT UP IN THE BRAWL

SAID SOMETHING IS... PRETTY DARN ALCOHOLIC, WHATEVER IT IS, HOO-EE
YOU DOWN MOST OF IT, THEN... [3] VS [6] TRY TO GRAB POOHBAH'S REVOLVER, BUT HE JUST SHOOTS YOU IN THE GUT.

TWICE.

THIS MAKES IT A BIT HARD TO THROW BOOZE ON PIANO PLAYER
YOU SINK TO FLOOR. NOT FEEL REAL GOOD.

Item Acquired: Bottle O' Booze! (Very alcoholic!)
Injury Sustained: Gut shot x 2!
Bleed Out: 4 turns until death!


Turn into a Super Saiyan
[6] YOU SHOUT REAL LOUD, CLENCH FISTS

SUCCESSFULLY BEGIN TRANSFORMATION TO SUPER-SAIYAN! SOMEHOW!
UNFORTUNATELY IT GONNA TAKE A WHILE

PROBABLY AN EPISODE OR TWO

NEARBY PEOPLE WATCH YOU SHOUTING AND GRIMACING FOR A WHILE, THEN GET BORED AND GO BACK TO BRAWLING

Class Gained: Saiyan!
Ability Gained: Super-Saiyan!
State Entered: Undergoing Over-long and Needlessly Dramatic Transformation! (four turns to go!)


Seems like there's a bit of a scuffle. Better use my double barrel to escape safely. Only shoot those who run at me. Not likely considering this bearkiller
[6] (GM REAL TEMPTED TO JUST HAVE YOU BRUTALLY MURDER ALL OTHER PLAYERS SO CAN END THIS FARCE OF AN RTD)

(...THAT WOULD BE LAZY EVEN BY GM'S STANDARDS, THOUGH. MAYBE NEXT TIME IF I REAL BORED)

HEARING GUNSHOTS, YOU DECIDE IT'S TIME TO LEAVE

ALMOST AT THE BACK EXIT WHEN SOME OLDER-LOOKING FELLOW WEARING A WAISTCOAT ROLLS TOWARDS YOU, SCREAMING AND HOLDING HIS LEG WHILST LEAKING BLOOD EVERYWHERE

SEEMS LIKE A DISPLAY OF AGGRESSION IF'N I EVER SAW ONE!

YOU UNLOAD BOTH BARRELS INTO THIS UNRULY VARMINT

CHUNKS OF PIANIST SPRAY OUT IN AN IMPRESSIVE ARRAY IN FRONT OF YOU AND THE DEAFENING BOOM OF THE SHOTGUN, FAR LOUDER THAN THE REVOLVER SHOTS EARLIER, CAUSES SUDDEN SILENCE TO ENGULF THE ROOM AS EVERYONE STOPS WHAT THEY'RE DOING AND (IF THEY'RE STILL CAPABLE OF DOING SO) TURN TOWARDS THE GHASTLY SIGHT

POOR ANTON. THE CROWD STARES IN SHOCK

WHILE THEY STARE SLACK-JAWED AT THE SCENE OF THIS BRUTAL MURDER, YOU TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE YOUR ESCAPE
NOBODY DARES TRY TO STOP YOU, THEY SCRAMBLE TO GET OUT OF WAY

YOU ESCAPE THE SALOON!
Item Acquired: Double-barrelled 12-gauge shotgun! (0/2 shots)
Achievement Unlocked: First Kill!
Status Gained: Murderer!


Rob bank across the street.
[3] YOU DECIDE THAT ROBBING A BANK WOULD BE MUCH MORE FUN THAN RISKING YOUR FACE IN A BRAWL

YOU ABOUT TO GO DO THAT WHEN SOME CREEP BRUTALLY EXECUTES THE POOR, INNOCENT OLD PIANO PLAYER RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES

IS HORRIBLE SIGHT
ALSO YOU COVERED IN BLOOD AND BRAIN MATTER

THINK YOU MAYBE GOT SOME IN YOUR MOUTH

YOU FORGET ALL ABOUT ROBBING BANKS FOR NOW

Item Acquired: Anton the Piano Player! (Worn about body)
Item Acquired: Emotional Trauma!
State Gained: Horrified! (-1 to actions that don't involve screaming, vomiting or both!)



WELL THINGS SURE HAVE ESCALATED QUICKLY IN THE SALOON

BRAWL STOPPED SHORT JUST WHEN GETTING INTO FULL SWING, EVERYONE NOW STARING AT MURDER SCENE
(EXCEPT FOR MAYBE ONE OR TWO SUPER DRUNK PEOPLE WHAT DIDN'T NOTICE)

SHERIFF PROBABLY ON THEY WAY RIGHT NOW

SHEEEIT

WHAT DO? >_

Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.
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