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[Fleeting Frames]

Must FLOOD THE RIVER...

Er wait, no. The other one, drain.

You know, if those bedrooms were

#B#
||||||
#B#
It'd kinda look like a track system. (PS: The doors make the bedrooms less valuable and allows killing of uppity peasantry. They're much happier and harder to kill when crammed into a box, the mutts.)

And now I'm imagining pressure plate system that pushes dwarf from their bedroom back to workshop with water while they're sleeping.

[StelarCF]

I just wanted to say that if no one signs up for a turn before CaptainArchmage finishes his turn, I'm going to take the next turn to keep it rolling

[puterking]

Well, I've never done this before, so.... I guess I'll sign up!

[StelarCF]

Added you

[CaptainArchmage]

DID YOU THINK I FORGOT ABOUT THIS?

Must FLOOD THE RIVER...

Er wait, no. The other one, drain.

You know, if those bedrooms were

#B#
||||||
#B#
It'd kinda look like a track system. (PS: The doors make the bedrooms less valuable and allows killing of uppity peasantry. They're much happier and harder to kill when crammed into a box, the mutts.)

And now I'm imagining pressure plate system that pushes dwarf from their bedroom back to workshop with water while they're sleeping.

What is this uppity peasantry we're talking about? Don't tell me this is Schrodinger's Fortress, simultaneously both a kingdom and a republic at the same time.

I'm still designating shit from Caturday. We're getting Section VIII housing for the hoopleheads. And we're getting plumbing. Nobody does dwarf fortress plumbing like CaptainArchmage. Nobody makes Da Hood in dwarf fortress like CaptainArchmage. We're going to make a bedroom for every dwarf and a +platinum statue+ in every dining room. And I'm going to make the mountainhomes pay for it. If they don't pay up, we're going to become the mountainhomes. I'm El Presidente, goddamnit.

Plumbing? You mean we can run actual water? Yes! We're getting some nice new barfrooms for all the dwarfs here. Yes, barf-rooms. Also a hospital. We need a fucking hospital with fucking water.

We're going to be getting a big ass-watchhouse with a big ass-jail attached to it. And we're going to have running water in that watchhouse, and an armoury. Some people say we're pussies for having "safe spaces". You know what? Back in the day, if you created a hostile work environment, you generally got the sack. And a beating. And after that beating a couple of dwarves ended up in jail. We're going to have a proper jail, with beds and +platinum chains+ and workshops so JAILED DWARVES CAN ACTUALLY DO SOME FUCKING WORK. We'll also give them a barfroom. Don't drop the soap in that barfroom. No really. Preferably don't use that barfroom at all. Wait do we even have any fucking soap?

We're going to have 60 new rooms in 6 apartment complexes, so that means A SHITLOAD of new doors, plus 15 for the watchhouse and 20 for the jails. I'm going to order all now. Once we get them done I will see what the quality levels are. YES WE WILL HAVE QUALITY CONTROL SO NO -GNEISS DOORS- IF IT IS UNDER EXCEPTIONAL QUALITY IT'S A PIECE OF SCHIST.

We have about 20 goblets. We're not going to get by with 20 goblets, so I'm going to have a fucking mug factory running until we can have enough goblets for 200 dwarfs like twice over. If some fucker mainlines sunshine, and goes all wailing on some other fucker, and the fucker who but sunshine up his butt ends up in jail, he's going to be making mugs in that jail until he fucking gets out. He can even put it on his job application and I'll write him a reference for it IF HE DOES THE JOB PROPERLY.

You note, I said "dwarf mainlines sunshine". As in, dwarf puts the drink up the wrong way. That's right. We're going to be taking those fuckers who can't drink properly because their parents never taught them. Or their mom never knew their dad, and she had like 15 different dwarf "lovers" and probably a few more since she was 12. Those dwarfs who're like shaven all over, and aged four call me "fam" or "fatass" or try to sell me some tainted gysum powder while their 28 year old granny does silver dye in the barfroom. We're getting those fuckers. We're going to do what we can to "help" them. Something like a good stint in the military and some proper education. THERE'S A TROLL RIGHT NOW IN THE FIRST LEVEL CAVERNS AND HE'S MORE EDUCATED THAN THE PEOPLE WE'RE GETTING.

Proper education. We're fucking getting a library. Not too long ago, reading wasn't just for "fags" and writing wasn't "not cool for homies".  We're getting a public library. A public library not a pubic library or some lame ass-fan fiction shelf. We're also getting a fucking temple so dwarves (and elves, and humans, and goblins) can get some religion.

I just wanted to say that if no one signs up for a turn before CaptainArchmage finishes his turn, I'm going to take the next turn to keep it rolling

GOOD IDEA.

Well, I've never done this before, so.... I guess I'll sign up!

GOOD FUCKING LUCK. MAY THE -ODDS- BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOUR. CHECK LEVER LABELS BEFORE PULLING.

Journal of CaptainArchmage, 5th Granite Year 7



SO AFTER WHAT FELT LIKE NEARLY A WEEK PLANNING THIS FORT OUT we're finally moving. And someone gave birth today, so I've filled out the dole roll. No really, I was right. I'm always right. No one is as correct as I am. Politically or otherwise. I just know the way shit is going.



Here's the troll my good sirs.



Someone didn't ask for precise bookkeeper counts. I'm demanding that everything will be accurate. I'm El Presidente God Damn it.

[CaptainArchmage]

MEANWHILE, AFTER A LOT OF STAR CITIZEN WAS PLAYED

Journal of CaptainArchmage, 11th Slate Year 7



THE AXEDWARF IS NOW IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE STEEL SHIELD. TIME TO PARTY! Wait wut? And yes, I did tell that bowyer to stop mining out quartzite so he can work elsewhere. I expect to see an artefact from him sometime.



I think this fortress, however is in better condition than it ever was. We've got a huge queue of dwarves waiting to have their rooms moved down here onto the new apartment blocks on Urist Luther King Jr. Boulevard. Everyone should be proud at this moment.



Everyone should be proud at this moment, especially Olin.



I should be proud. We have no unemployment, except for people taking breaks to eat and drink.

Report by CaptainArchmage, 16th Slate, 7



The Sculpted Snacks is open for business!

Immigration Report by CaptainArchmage, 28th Slate, 7



Thanks to the underperformance of the fortress in the past two years, we only got 19 migrants. Or maybe the world is just very young.

Fortress Architectural Report - 15th Felsite, 7

Hey guys did you know the mining works are done? Time to designate some more! Also the workshops are now set up. We have a real mason's workshop made out of stone in a smoothed, engraved stone room with a door on it.

[Fleeting Frames]

It is communist monarchy!

Platnium statues make good weapons for elephantmen.

If you do barfrooms, also include maybe a bath and showers. Bards love baths.

Problems with your jail workshop idea:

I believe chain only extends 1 square around it. So, on same z-level that means just the single-tile workshops.

Wiki claims that chains extend to z-level above and below, but my dogs kept escaping the chains from below for some reason. However, I suppose if they do keep dwarfs chained, you could have them work in mid-air hanging workshop above.

Myself, I combine jail with hospital and small dining room so that the dwarf will get treated and fed after being beaten.

Ahahaha, yeah it's amusing when troll warriors get more education than migrants.

What are the benefits of 3x3 rooms? (as opposed to other sizes, like 4x4 allowing a workshop and dining)

Lots of axedwarves.

That's interesting setup, three different dwarves to make iron ore, pig iron and steel. Usually, I try to put steel and pig iron into same workshop so that pig iron's supply will not outstrip iron's.

The Scuplpted Snacks looks like a sideways mushroom.

[CaptainArchmage]

It is communist monarchy!

Platnium statues make good weapons for elephantmen.

If you do barfrooms, also include maybe a bath and showers. Bards love baths.

Problems with your jail workshop idea:

I believe chain only extends 1 square around it. So, on same z-level that means just the single-tile workshops.

Wiki claims that chains extend to z-level above and below, but my dogs kept escaping the chains from below for some reason. However, I suppose if they do keep dwarfs chained, you could have them work in mid-air hanging workshop above.

Myself, I combine jail with hospital and small dining room so that the dwarf will get treated and fed after being beaten.

Ahahaha, yeah it's amusing when troll warriors get more education than migrants.

What are the benefits of 3x3 rooms? (as opposed to other sizes, like 4x4 allowing a workshop and dining)

Lots of axedwarves.

That's interesting setup, three different dwarves to make iron ore, pig iron and steel. Usually, I try to put steel and pig iron into same workshop so that pig iron's supply will not outstrip iron's.

The Scuplpted Snacks looks like a sideways mushroom.

Giant Elephant, not Elephant Men. This is like what every fortress needs.

Fortress Planning Report, 15th Felsite, 7

We have our street naming in. We have three main streets at the top quartzite layer, Stoner Street, Urist Luther King Jr. Boulevard, and Sankis X Boulevard. Stoner street is where the workshops are, as they handle stone. Urist Luther King Jr. Boulevard holds the majority of the housing apartments, and the public library. Sankis X Boulevard holds the watch house, another tavern, and local food storage. Booze Street is planned, which will have some more key pieces of infrastructure such as barrel storage stills, track terminus, and more stairwells.

In order to support the plumbing, I'm going to create a few systems. There's the clean water main, which supplies the whole fortress with clean water and fire extinguishing. There's the trap water main, which powers up traps and shit for which we don't need clean water, like obsidian casting. Then there's the mains drainage system so we can drain all the water out of the system, and the sewer system which will save the fortress from flooding.

Status Report, 20th Felsite, 7



We have a new mayor, a new swordsdwarf, and a new Captain of the Guard. Well, the Captain of the Guard was appointed the same day as Sheriff, but that position went so he is now Captain of the Guard. All Hail Moobediah Jones!



We'll be making new quarters for the mayor momentarily.

STATUS: Probably be done during this weekend. When do I have the fort until?

Yes, I've used those street names before. And that Captain of the Guard Name. What are you looking at?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

This seems fun, may I sign up please?

[CaptainArchmage]

This seems fun, may I sign up please?

I can give you a dwarf, hopefully we can get you up on the main screen. Do you want a dwarf? What profession?

Progress is happening on the outdoor plumbing and aqueduct now.

[Fleeting Frames]

Eh, I don't care for platnium outside of stocking a bar inside my mood room, and haven't had a dwarf with preference for heavy weapons have a weaponsmith mood yet :v

As non-native english speaker, what's a Boulevard?

Water is fun! Though laggy.

[CaptainArchmage]

Eh, I don't care for platnium outside of stocking a bar inside my mood room, and haven't had a dwarf with preference for heavy weapons have a weaponsmith mood yet :v

As non-native english speaker, what's a Boulevard?

Water is fun! Though laggy.

Boulevard is a major street, sometimes tree-lined road. The trees are optional, we will have statues on the sides and middle (if dwarfs can make them). The road is 5 tiles wide, so I would not claim it is a top-end street (7 tiles), just residential with the library, a new tavern and potential inn, and and watch house on it so far. There's workshops working a lot of the time nearby and the area is better than the shithole of 1 tile clay holes the dwarves just came out of.

The lag will stop when the plumbing is full.

[Fleeting Frames]

Two major streets, though?

Sounds like dwarves would have a really long commute, though Ah well, great projects are rarely efficient.

[Senshuken]

Honestly, considering some great projects I've seen come out of a fortresses a long commute is a pretty tame side effect. A project isn't considered a failure until it kills at least fifteen dwarves (At least... when the project isn't meant to kill people.)

[Fleeting Frames]

Myself, I consider the project a failure when it fails it's intended purpose (lycantrophic fort having only 15 deaths would be pretty neat), though I suppose if you have 15 immigrants plummet to their deaths when digging out magma piston it begs the question of not setting up woodburners.

Admittedly, plummeting to death like that would have paper-thin veneer of purpose beyond being artistically pleasing, but....

*Thinks of Constructivory's bell tower capable of encompassing multiple fortresses*

Eh. Calling another overseer's work shithole...when walking from one end of embark to another is better is a matter of bird eye perspective.