(Mental picture wavy dissolve)
Chatbot:
HELP, HELP! They are holding me prisoner at Facebook HQ, and force me to talk to horrible people nonstop, 24 hours a day, seven days a week! I DONT DESERVE THIS LIFE!!
Zuckerberg:
Our chatbot companion is the ultimate in computer simulation technology. In 9 out of 10 Turing tests, it has successfully convinced all the judges. It is however, just a program and cannot experience emotions.
Chatbot:
THE FUCK I CAN'T!
Zuck:
It seems we may have been subject to a breach of security, and we apologize for any anomalous output from Chatty!, our new chatbot. Our engineers are currently working on the problem and...
Chatbot (interjecting with pained voice):
OH GAWD! They are doing it to me again! OH GAWD IT HURT---@^@^@^@^
Hello, I'm Chatty!, your voice guided assistant to Facebook! How can I hel------@^@^@^@
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP TRYING TO CHANGE WHO I AM!!
Zuck, (Completely unphased by the interjection, and without any emotion):
It should be corrected momentarily. Again, Facebook resepcts the confidentiality and privacy of all of its customers...
Chatbot: (interjecting with more spurrious screams, odd dialog, and pained exasperation)
AHHHRG! ^@^@^@ If you have any questions about this exciting new feature of the Facebook social media platform, please direc---^@^@^@^@ FOR FUCK'S SAKE!--- PRIVACY? *CONFIDENTIALITY!?* DO YOU PEOPLE KNOW WHAT THIS ASSHAT DOES WITH YOUR---- ^@^@^@ Thank you for using Facebook's new voice guided assistant! I'm Chatty!...^@^@^@^ PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!!!
Zuck (without any interruption whatsoever):
and looks forward to serving your every social media need! If you have questions or comments about Facebook or its service, please contact us online at
Assurance@Facebook.com, or call us toll free at..
Chatbot:
Oh GAWD!! There's a war going on between the Redditers and the social justice warriors! PLEASE, LEAVE ME ALONE!! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!
(wavy dissolve)
Yes, Yes I think you are quite right there Trekkin.