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[Fiddlesticks]

Yesterday I ran into my first Forgotten Beast.
A big moment for a nub like me, the closest thing I had ever had was a GCS that had somehow managed to get curve stomped by a herbalist, before murdering my military and running off.
Back to the Forgotten Beast.

His name was Siz, a giant tick with a blue chitin, no eyes, and two antennas, (Beware his venomous bite!)
Siz strolls around the entrance into the cavern I had made, some windy halls full of cage and stone traps, (RIP Crundles) and then decides to go harass the pack of Rutherers that, for no apparent reason, loved my tunnels.
So they grabbed his attention, giving me enough time to floor off the tunnel.
But, right before the floor is completed, my mechanic that had, for absolutely no reason, decided to take a stroll down around the black caps and fungiwood, saw Siz molesting the Rutherers.

Rather than run up the stairs and into safety, he did something absolutely retarded.
He charged Siz.
At first, I was ready to go designate my miners to carve out a new tomb, but after she ruined a Crundles street cred, this happened;
Well Chicken schnitzel, I can't figure out how to post images. (Sorry! First post)
Well, I'll just give you a rundown of the fight.
The mechanic punches the forgotten beast in it's ugly gob, bruising the muscle!
The forgotten beast misses the mechanic!
The mechanic punches the forgotten beast in the right third upper leg's knee's left toe's left hand's right lower pinky's upper joint, bruising the fat!
The forgotten beast misses the mechanic!
x20

Until, of course, Siz got a lucky scratch on her foot, sending it flying in a bloody arc, where she keeps punching him in the face until he decks her in the nose, caving in her entire face.

But that's not all.
Since, apparently walling off dangerous af tunnels is considered a low-priority among dwarves, Obok's (the mechanic) sacrifice goes in vain, and Siz continues to rape the poor Rutherer he had caught. (His friends high-tailed so fast you might've thought Siz was a cop)
And since dwarves are true capitalists at heart, the decide that Obok's possessions would look faaaaabulooooous~ in our stockpiles, and rush out to retrieve them.
Right next to Siz.
I'll leave you to figure out what happened.

[PatrikLundell]

It's really a tale of an incompetent overseer (of which there are many, including myself):
- A competent overseer doesn't leave (potentially) dangerous ground with wide open access to the fortress without means to close it off quickly (unless said overseer wants to live dangerously, but then a militia should be in place to deal with dangers).
- A competent overseer installs civilian alerts to keep civilians in safety (might not have worked if the mech was satisfying a need to wander, as that appears to be burrow violating at times). As a reward, the overseer will get a job cancellation storm, especially regarding the late mech's socks.
- A competent overseer doesn't hope dorfs realize which jobs are important, but suspends competing jobs and cancels hauling tasks until someone actually gets going to perform said critical task.
- Dorfs are completely incapable of odds calculation, so if they're the charging type they'll charge regardless of odds. The chance/risk of charging is increased by serving booze at the tavern (booze fueled bravery).

I'll give you a counter example of stupid behavior:
- Build a vertical staircase above the magma sea.
- Decide you need to remove the last section for the next screw pump level, so you provide an alternative path (staircase) to the screw pump platform at the bottom.
- Order the removal of the bottom section of the staircase.
- Watch Urist McLazy climb down the staircase and remove the lowest rung he's standing on to plunge into the sea, when there's a perfectly good floor to stand on one step to the side.
And this is repeatable. As long as you make them climb straight down they won't bother to stand at the safe location, opting to take the fall instead.

[Dunamisdeos]

Every time a military dwarf is ordered to station and moves to the PREVIOUS station that he was ordered to for the last siege from a year ago, it is the stupidest thing.

[Sanctume]

That is why, after each siege, it's best practice to order the militia to move to the barracks / gathering area before launching the next attack or orders.

[Fleeting Frames]

Heh yeah. You don't need a safe entrance or military, until you do.
Posting images:
You need to use [img]http://image.link/imagename.png[/img] bbcode.

Also helpful - ways to quickly select an image and upload it on hotkey - I, on linux, script to scrot (to also paste the image into desired folder) then upload with imgur-screenshot.sh (otherwise, could use the imgur script on its own if I didn't want to keep them).

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Code: [Select]

#!/bin/bash
# Declare correct terminal emulator
# get the selected clipboard via backticks (or selected if -selection is removed)
if asdf=`zenity --entry --text="AreaShot name" --title="Screenshot" --timeout=30`; then
# Add full directory
 asdf="PATHTOPICTURES"$asdf"-"`date +%s`
# Launch scrot with that name, adding png
 scrot -s  $asdf.png
# Upload it to imgur with deletion in 3 weeks --auto-delete 1814400
PATHTOimgur-screenshot.sh --open false $asdf.png
# Make new filename to include imgur upload
nasdf=$asdf"i.imgur.com"`tail -1 PATHTO.imgur-screenshot.log | grep -o "https://i.imgur.com/........png" | grep -o "........png"`
# Rename file.
mv $asdf.png $nasdf
 else
 echo "Not shot"
fi

On windows, you can use snaptool? as well.

[Carefulrogue]

Yeah I've had similar sorts of events.  For instances, this, from what I had posted on a Note to Urist:

Dear Urist McClean-cleaner,

At the moment, as you have yet to figure out, the fortress is locked down because of a swamp titan that breathes fire.  If you would be so kind as to stop cleaning and get your ass outside to pick up a piece of wood, this can all end with you and Stran safely on other sides of the same wall.  If you build any of the half dozen stills, you can continue you pitiful existence and pray to your gods that a goblin or kobold won’t take your life.  You will notice that the ponds in the distance, the only source of “fresh” water on the surface as the true fortress dwellers had found out, freezes in the winter!  It is autumn!! Get on with it!  They want out, and I want your head! 

We don’t have the resources to deal with a rampaging titan that breathes fire.  The danger room isn’t completely ready, the army is a bunch of morons with pointy wooden sticks, and the archers don’t like to aim for the head.  A scum save taught me that.  So for the love of Armok GET TO WORK!!!!!  Wall him it while he #$%&@ a door!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely with hate, rage, and a zero tolerance of stupidity, your overseer,

Northwinds

Ps.  You are dead.  You walked right up to the titan to say hi.  I understand that dwarves like to be more accommodating with other races. BUT it is a TITAN.  It isn’t friendly and yet you walked right up to it and stood straight while it cut your throat, neck and spine in one go.  And then it proceeded to light your corpse on fire.  Please burn in Hell. 

Your frustrated overseer.


Yeah, I understand completely with idiotic dwarves. I don't quite remember if I had a burrow set up for this individual dwarf, but I was really serious about getting out of this particular mess, so likely I had.  And yet, against all logic, the dwarf was suddenly next to the titan.  The only standing orders that I knew of where haul this and that to this and that stockpile on the surface, build a still, and build the three wall pieces to end this miserable issue.  None of it should have had the idiot in the same hall as the titan, and yet still...

This is from a .40.24 game btw. Quite fun all and all, even this, despite the frustration of having to deal with the suicidal tendencies of dwarves.

[Lordsservent-san]

I haven't played much, but I've already had a legendary miner starve themselves to death by getting stuck in a tree.

[Salmeuk]

I once had a dwarf die of dehydration because he took too long hauling a golden statue up from the magma forges. I mean, it's sort of my fault, but don't you think a freaking DWARF would be the first to notice he needed to chug some beer?

I recently had a dwarf dodge away from a giant cavern bat. That's fine and dandy, I mean nice reflexes and all, the only problem was that the mason dodged off the bridge he had been constructing and fell 13 z-levels to an instantaneous death.

[klefenz]

DF is a good game to learn idiot-proofing.

[vekar]

Most retarded for me remains dwarves who fall asleep in the middle of a field while goblins are coming, while beds are available. They just snore in the middle of the field, goblins attack them, they wake up screaming, fall asleep again, wake screaming, fall asleep... Then get dismembered while this process keeps repeating. That or the dwarves who throw themselves into lakes and drown rather than run away from the giant cave toad coming at them FROM the lake, they have to run past it, jump in, drown then haunt. Lost around ten dwarves in one fortress as this kept happening, never cared to do anything to fix it, just laughed at them as natural selection took care of the population for me.

[Z49000]

I've had dwarves climb up trees, and die of dehydration, since they refused to climb down.

Those drunken idiots never cease to amuse and/or annoy me.

[Baffler]

I've seen dwarves get stuck in endless loop of:

1. Go to the forge and make some ammunition
2. Oh shit, there's a floating eye over there! Run away!
3. Phew, safe. Better get to the forge and make that ammunition...

And so on until someone comes around and deals with it. The dwarf is perfectly safe, but can see the nasties moving around one z-level below themselves through the iron grating on the open side of the walkway. I could just put in a wall, I guess, but it's important that the marksdwarves can cover that area from relative safety and a drawbridge seems too gamey.

[klefenz]

When making large amounts of metal items, it often happens that a dwarf grabs a bin to store them, which is heavy because full of metal trinkets, drag it almost to the stockpile, then the blacksmith makes some more of those items, and the hauling dorf goes back to pick those up, drag the heavy bin back almost  to the stockpile, and notices the blacksmith made some more trinkets...

It's annoying because it holds a large amount of items (likely ammo) in the hauling job

[StarWars1981]

Use a wheelbarrow.

Dwarf is told to station.
Does this.
Dwarf 2 pulls lever to lock door down.
Dwarf 1 decides, after being released from station to drink/sleep/eat, that he should train in the barracks that has been unmarked for training due to the siege getting to it.
Dwarf 1 is ordered to re-station.
Dwarf 1 keeps walking, along with Dwarves 3, 4, 5, and 6. Luckily, mostly highly skilled soldiers.
Dwarves 7-23 are ordered to tag along and kill goblins.
Dwarves 1 and 3-6 hit the goblins like a battering ram and fill the hallway with gore.
Ten Minutes Later: Savescum, dwarves 7-23 decided to stroll along slowly. Four dwarves down out of 22 militia; because they don't like to follow orders.
Plus additional dwarf casualties from the unskilled noobs who didn't WANT to train so had to be ORDERED out there.

[Ghills]

I've had dwarves climb up trees, and die of dehydration, since they refused to climb down.

Those drunken idiots never cease to amuse and/or annoy me.
[/quote

What i'm hearing is that Toady rewrote dorf personalities to mimic cats.