++Thought for the Day: Let your soul be armoured with Faith, driven on the tracks of Obedience which overcome all obstacles, and armed with the three great guns of Zeal, Duty, and Purity.++
charge the scoundrels
[6] vs [3] You leap over the trench, firing off a heroic pose and a few lasbolts into the enemy as you charge across no-man's land! The orks pitifully attempt to stop you with their cumbersome and innacurate weapons but they miss entirely! You down an ork as you cross the battlefield and then another as you reach the enemy and stab one through the eye with your bayonet! You are now surrounded by orks.
Find tanks.
[6] You look around for any tanks in the area and see that there are many far behind your trenches, waiting to be unleashed upon the enemy. [2] vs [1] Unfortunately, your personal enquiry as to the level of tankery in the area distracts your senses and you don't charge the enemy. Your commissar swiftly dispatches your cowardly self. (You are dead.)
Charge, for the glory of the Emperor!
[5] vs [6] With a battlecry you leap into the fray and charge at the cowardly xenos shooting at you from over yonder! The rounds ricochet across the ground away from you, the xenos who tried shooting you failing to even scratch you! Unfortunately, the orks shooting at the guardsmen around you also missed their shots and instead of hitting your comrades, they hit you instead. You explode as dozens of high-caliber rounds slam into your body, your blood staining the bodies and uniforms of your fellow guardsmen. One of them slips on a rock stained with your blood and falls onto the ground. (You are dead.)
Charge!!!
[5] vs [1] Along with your fellow guardsmen you make your way over the top and join the charge against the xenos. You are unlucky enough to have been outrun by your fellow guardsmen, shamefully being spared as your fellows gloriously get mown down in service of the Emperor! You redeem your failure by swiftly half-decapitating the head of an ork, the other half of the neck still attached due to its thickness, but the orks goes down nonetheless. The two blood-crazed orks next to him charge you but you swiftly dispatch them with lasfire as well. The other orks have finally noticed your lethal activities and seem about ready to attack you. You are surrounded by orks.
Find the nearest Leman Russ. Charge in behind it.
[2] You look back behind you to see the venerable Leman Russes, but the wind blows some dirt in your face, forcing you to close your eyes. [1] vs [3] It's this wind that saves you as the commissar is also blinded and thus is not witness to your disgraceful attempt to hide yourself in the trench as the other brave soldiers of the Imperial Guard make battle with the enemies of Mankind.
Stick with the officers (and where's our Imperial Standard?!), while taking aim and shooting at the orks from this distance.
...If there's a charge order, CHARGE WITH FAITH AND PRAYER [while throwing a grenade at clustered enemies] and affix bayonet beforehand; always shoot at enemy if possible.
You aim your lasgun at the far away orks but before you shoot, you hear the order to charge and swiftly comply with faith in your heart and a prayer on your lips! [3] vs [3] You get partway through the Litany of Purgation as an ork shoota destroys the top half of your head. (You are dead.)
charge while shooting at the orks
[4] vs [3] You make your way over no-man's land towards the ork, firing your lasgun and blast off the top-left of an ork's head, crippling it! You yourself fair much better, losing only half a leg instead of half a head! (Bleeding out. 1 turn till death unless stabilised.)
pinpoint an important looking orc and lob my grenade at it.
[3] You look at the ork battle lines for any particularly important orks. You see one with more metal than the others in what appears to be a crude attempt at armouring, but even despite his above-average size you lose him amidst the sea of green he's part of. [3] vs [6] You lob a grenade at the enemy but the throw was too weak and the enemy is far too far away! Instead the grenade lands amidst your fellow guardsmen, killing 8 of them and wounding a further 6. [4] vs [6] Your commissar shoots you for such flagrant and abominable treason, but you quickly duck out of the way at the last second behind some cover!
Shoot Orks. Try to not be in the very front of the trench when the ork charge reaches us, but not far enough back that I get blammed.
You've made up your mind that you will shoot the ork. You will not stab them with your bayonet. You will not blow them up with your grenade. You will shoot them, and you will shoot them with the lasgun in your hand. [2] You reason that maybe if you walk forward slowly, you can remain as far away from the orks as you can while still not technically giving your commissar as an excuse to shoot you! [6] vs [5] [5] vs [3] With this strategy you manage to hit an ork in the shoulder, almost forcing it to drop its weapon. The commissar behind you is slightly more accurate, firmly hitting you between the shoulder blades with his bolt pistol, blowing a hole through your chest. (You are dead.)
Everyone:
Anyone who survived the charge across the field is now in close combat with the orks. What some of you might notice to be rather strange is that the orks are not cravenly fleeing backwards in the face of the valiant charge performed by His Divine Majesty's unstoppable army and instead seem to be retaliating with their own inferior melee weapons. Such a variation of what must certainly be the gospel truth of the Munitorum's wisdom can only have come about by them witnessing grave levels of cowardice among your ranks! Any further mass breaches of protocol will result in SEVERE penalty to the regiment. You have been warned.
Tiny query: Where's our officer or sergeant?
[1] Dead, after refusing to send his men to their deaths and subsequently getting executed by the commissar.
Congratulations to everyone who survived! I honestly did not expect this many people to have made it so far.
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Topic: Roll to Imperial Guard (Read 8696 times)