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Author Topic: Roll to Trench  (Read 13583 times)

MidnightJaguar

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #30 on: August 04, 2016, 06:12:51 pm »

call in an artillery bombardment once I respawn.
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Quote
23:31:46 <pancaeks> "Today on mystery science with the eggheads: we created these sentient crystal people, now we're going to find out if they explode!"

MainPiston: Epilogue.

Sosoku234

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #31 on: August 04, 2016, 08:34:29 pm »

Turn 3
Town: 868
Enemies: 3743

ATTACKING TEAM
Rocket jump onto a building and fire down on the militia of the town!

[5] You jump up onto an old apartment building using a powerful rocket launcher. Once up there you see the whole battlefield clearly. You pick a machine gun nest and fill it with a fiery blast of high explosive rockets. Then a command bunker with the door facing you. And finally you target a group of the reinforcements, killing most everyone in it.
-15 town

DEFENDING TEAM
Take the 3 best snipers in the village and go to the church steeple. Pick off as many enemies as we can and report on their formations

[5] You gather three of the sharpest shots not on the front line and drag them to the church, where you and they snipe out 8 soldiers each. In the far off distance you see the first signs of true trouble. Biplanes and light tanks. You report it to the front line commander.
 -32 enemies

Take up a rifle and start picking off enemy officers and important looking soldiers.

[6] You start sniping enemies who pop up wearing any kind of decorations. After killing seven or eight of what appears to be the enemy higher ups, you start shooting at anybody not looking like a regular enemy soldier, including a few of your own guys.
-9 enemies
-4 town

shout at the enemy army until they explode

[4] You breathe in deep and shout at the enemies. Four or five start covering their now bleeding ear drums. One of them even explodes in a shower of blood and gore. Impressive.
-5 enemies

Summon the Dragons to battle!

[1] You summon a small dragon that eats you and flies away from the loud noises. RESPAWN?
-1 town

set the enemy camp on fire

[5] You sneak in Mike's behind enemy lines and set their general's tent on fire. You also set the mess on fire and several of the barrack-like tents. Seventeen die from fire being set around them. Including the General and several officers. On your way back you hear the buzzing of planes and see the dust tracks of fast moving lightly armored vehicles. [4] But you make it back with no trouble.
-17 enemies

Use blood townc to ascend to deamonhood and crush our enemies!

[3] You don't quite make it to daemonhood, but you DO get to be an imp. [3] You just can't seem to kill anyone as this though.

Lead the men in a valiant charge to reclaim our trench!
Because I have not died yet, I shall name myself. I am Ser Wellington the Third! Average commander!

[5] Sir Wellington the Third, Average Commander initiates a full on bayonet charge, complete with a "Let's go, lads!" The enemies hear the shrill scream of your company of heroes and scrambled for escape. Your boys reach them and stab quite a few of them to death. You have taken back your trench.
-23 enemies
-2 town

call in an artillery bombardment.

[4] You call in an artillery bombardment on the incoming enemy reinforcements and artillery you receive. Your arty kills at least twenty incoming soldiers.
-20 enemies



Town remaining: 846
Enemies remaining: 3637
Logged
Monster stowage inventory running low. Starting #2 Monster Pump, filling #4 Monster tank, via #2a Demonizer.

Playergamer

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #32 on: August 04, 2016, 08:36:06 pm »

Re-Dakka their Dakka! Leave no dakka left un-dakka'd!
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Dustan Hache

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #33 on: August 04, 2016, 08:44:46 pm »

Light some flares and throw them at clustered soldiers/ enemy fortifications to mark them for airstrikes and tankfire.
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I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

ziizo

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #34 on: August 04, 2016, 08:59:21 pm »

Convince enemies to betray their friends and join our side
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

MidnightJaguar

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #35 on: August 04, 2016, 09:02:33 pm »

Clamber into a tank and start killing, some enemies
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Quote
23:31:46 <pancaeks> "Today on mystery science with the eggheads: we created these sentient crystal people, now we're going to find out if they explode!"

MainPiston: Epilogue.

crazyabe

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #36 on: August 04, 2016, 09:05:47 pm »

I Summon some Chaos Elementals and Direct them to Attack the Town.
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
“Don’t quote me.”
nothing here.

DAPARROT

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #37 on: August 04, 2016, 09:07:06 pm »

remove the enemy's gravity, send them into space
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I should probably introduce the actual plot soon
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Coolrune206

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #38 on: August 04, 2016, 09:28:44 pm »

Assign the town doctors and practitioners to medic duty. Upgrade the trench myself, adding a canopy over it to prevent shells from hitting the soldiers inside. Order my troops to hold the line.

"We've got this, boys! If we survive this battle, I shall buy each of you a drink!"
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"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #39 on: August 04, 2016, 09:34:45 pm »

Summon Cthulu
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It's Zanzetkuken The Great. He's a goddamn wizard-dragon. He will make it so, and it will forever be.
Quote from: 2016 Election IRC
<DozebomLolumzalis> you filthy god-damn ninja wizard dragon

Sosoku234

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #40 on: August 04, 2016, 10:19:43 pm »

Turn 4
Townies: 846
Enemies: 3637

OFFENSIVE
Light some flares and throw them at clustered soldiers/ enemy fortifications to mark them for airstrikes and tankfire.

[5] You throw a lit flare into a group of soldier clustered around an ammo box. An aeröplane flying overhead takes charge and fires incendiary tracers into the box, detonating the ammo and killing most of the men around the crate. The tanks are just over the next valley.
-39 town


I Summon some Chaos Elementals and Direct them to Attack the Town.

[3] You fail to create any elementals of any kind.

DEFENSIVE
Re-Dakka their Dakka! Leave no dakka left un-dakka'd!

[5] You spy a pair of perfectly good Lewis guns unmanned. You decide to dual wield machine guns. You pop up above the trench and scream, "DAKKA DAKKA, mudderfuggers!" You blindly fire into the incoming wave of enemies, killing tens of twenties.  Your bullets rip through body after body killing multiple per bullet. This is the most glorious sight anybody had seen in minutes. Until your ammo discs ran out.
-137 enemies


Convince enemies to betray their friends and join our side

[4] You convince a few of the atrackers to be a Benedict Arnold and switch sides. And some of them do. You have just gotten your first turncoats.
+10 town
-10 enenemies

Clamber into a tank and start killing, some enemies

The tanks arrive at the frontline and seeing an opportunity, you claber up the side of a nearby light tank and beat your way into it. Faces gored, arms and legs broken, enemies killed by way of fisticuffs. You pilot the tank and drive it at first right over a few of your own men before you reign it in. Then you destroy five of the twelve remaining tanks but 'fore having the tracks blown off and the turret rotation ring disabled by a planeheld bomb.
-7 town
-46 enemies


remove the enemy's gravity, send them into space

You are barking mad! That would never [5] work...
You bloody genius! You done it. But, your reverse gravity effect only affects 152 enemies. They all fly off into space and die, but the rest of the army is confused as to how a bag of clart town in the middle of nowhere has managed to send the first preNASA astronaughts into high earth orbit.
-152 enemies


Assign the town doctors and practitioners to medic duty. Upgrade the trench myself, adding a canopy over it to prevent shells from hitting the soldiers inside. Order my troops to hold the line.

"We've got this, boys! If we survive this battle, I shall buy each of you a drink!"

[2] As you start to assign the medicals to their places, a mortar shell lands right in the midst of them, killing 90% of them and leaving the other 10% dazed and confused. Despite this, you try [5] and succeed in upgrading the trench. It now has air conditioning, layers upon layers of barbed wire on the top, tank traps in that barbed wire, three machine gun bunkers made of concrete(a very big achievement that is) and a rec room. You look over the remaining men under your charge and yell [the above words]. It largely boosts morale.
-27 town

Summon Cthulu

[6] You summon the great and powerful Eldritch Lord himself, Cthulhu. Upon seeing him many enemies just dropped their stuff and ran away staining their trousers. Some of the townspeople also did the same. Ultimately, this is the end of the world as we know it.
-243 enemies
- 47 town
+1 Eldritch Abomination


Town remaining: 737
Enemies remaining: 3049
Logged
Monster stowage inventory running low. Starting #2 Monster Pump, filling #4 Monster tank, via #2a Demonizer.

Dustan Hache

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #41 on: August 04, 2016, 10:24:44 pm »

time to punch out Cthulhu! Rocketjump CHARRGE!
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I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

crazyabe

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #42 on: August 04, 2016, 11:47:41 pm »

Time for me to Attempt to Counter Summon The most Powerful Eldritch being of all, Jesus Christ! this Will be Horrifying!
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
“Don’t quote me.”
nothing here.

NRDL

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #43 on: August 04, 2016, 11:58:07 pm »

Sneak past enemy lines, then shoot Cthulhu, luring him there.
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.

MidnightJaguar

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Re: Roll to Trench
« Reply #44 on: August 05, 2016, 12:22:52 am »

Fire a grappiling hook at an airplane and hijack it.
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Quote
23:31:46 <pancaeks> "Today on mystery science with the eggheads: we created these sentient crystal people, now we're going to find out if they explode!"

MainPiston: Epilogue.
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