Turn 1
Town: 603
Enemies: 4196
Wizardry.
[1] You try to use some long lost and ancient Wizardry. Whilst performing the incantation of your first spell, someone gives you a bump on the shoulder and you lose concentration. The spell backfires and sends you through a one person wide portal into Hell. It closes shortly thereafter. RESPAWN?
-1 town
Many many bullets.
[4] You set up a valiant defense using the few machine guns and riflemen the twin could spare and you hold off an enemy advance.
-130 enemies
We will put all the old grandmas in the town on the wall. Getting cussed out and told off by old grandmas is sure to break their morale!
[6] You tell all the Grandmas to stand at the top of the wall and yell obscenities at the incoming army. It works stupendously. The enemies draw back and some flee. However, this use of old ladies as a defense has really put a downer in everybody's mood.
-40 enemies
-10 town
Launch flaming cows at them with catapults
[2] You attempt to launch flaming cows at then in a makeshift catapult. It catches fire and burns to the groind, leaving you with some dead burning cows and a pile of ashes.
-0 Both
Lay mines everywhere around the town.
[1] You set your first three mines, then on your Fourth, a bullet hits the mine, blowing it up in your face, and launching you back through your other mines, detonating them as you go. RESPAWN?
-1 town
Dig a trench!
[5] All by yourself, you dig a trenchline fit for a king and his army of 600 ish people.
Cry! Over the Enemy's dead bodies, of course.
[3] You try to stand and cry over the body of an enemy just a little but younger than you, but the hail if enemy bullets is too much to allow for much movement outside of your newly dug trench.
I sic demons on them.
[4] You call upon the demons of Selzar to do your bidding. They attack the enemies in their positions, ravaging them and scaring away quite a few. The demons return to their realm once they feel satisfied with the chaos ensuing from them.
-36 enemies.
I Summon All Hell to break loose on them.
[4] You invite all of Hell to rain upon your enemies and it does. A few dozen fireballs rain down upon your enemies.
-57 enemies
Retroactively erase the person who founded the country we are at war with.
[6] You work your way through the history books and find the founder of the opposing country and you build a whole time machine to go back there and erase them from existence. You then realize that the founder of that nation is also the founder of your nation as well. You realize that you now cease to exist and a paradox forms removing you from any universe where these events transpire. RESPAWN?
-1 town
Town remaining: 590
Enemies remaining: 3933
Author
Topic: Roll to Trench (Read 13572 times)