Oh really? Alright... Here's a hint.
And an omake/OVA.
Junko's hair bobbed up and down as she strode - well, more of a skip, really - down the halls of Hopes Peak Academy, her eyes locked onto everyone but her target. It was made rather more difficult for Junko for two reasons; one was right behind her, and the other was simply a part of her target.
Right behind her was Mukuro Ikusaba, her sister. As Junko had stated, sometimes violently - often violently-, sometimes verbally, Mukuro was a fat disgusting idiot pig worthy only to clean the floors behind Junko's super fab fur boots, assuming anyone as great as Junko could actually leave anything behind that didn't make the room better simply by being there. Still, the girl was useful, usually as a stepstool.
And her target... Well, it was difficult not to look at her target because her target was Sakura Ogami, and thus took up a full half of the hallway with her immense form, and the other half was inundated with an aura like a certain children's fighting anime. While Junko could probably replicate the Ki techniques Ogami used to project such a formidable aura, she neither wanted to nor needed to - and besides, nothing more could blow her cover than suddenly turning Super Sa*yan. Besides, what would happen to her perfect hair if she had it fly against gravity? Something as awful as Sakura's mop, no doubt.
Junko managed to duck around the towering girl, twirling on one foot to land perfectly in front of the Martial Artist (and coincidentally, drop a tiny crown on top of her head. Adorable!).
"Enoshima." Rumbled the mountain. "I failed to see you there. Apologies."
"It's quite alright, Miss Ogami!" Said Junko regally. "I simply wanted to permit you the most astounding opportunity!" Now came the lying - Ogami was a tightass, and a fighter, but most of all believed in team work and friendship. If her exploits with Asahina were anything to go by (and Junko knew they were), then this would be the perfect way to ask...
Junko opened her eyes wide, filling them with just enough tears to make them shimmer in the light. The crown vanished with slight-of-hand so masterful even Ogami's senses couldn't distinguish it. "Sakura-chan," she started.
Ogami's lips grew tight. "Sakura-chan?"
"Yeah! I wanna be super-duper bestie friends with everyone! I watched this amazing anime by this guy, who's our sempai, and I was like, 'Wow! Now I gotta be friends with pretty much everyone, cuz that was soooo~ cute!' And so, you know, I'm not super friendly, like all the time, I know, I'm kinda a bitch sometimes, but I super-duper wanna change now, but I didn't know how. And I was sad..."
Junko hunched over, shadowing her face in just the right way to make her seem at her most dismal. "I was so sad. I didn't know how to be friends with people, so how could I even begin... Man, even just thinking about it makes me want to put my hand down a garbage disposal again..."
"Don't do that! Again?!" Ogami said, shocked expression on her face. Perfect... now the punchline.
"Well, instead of that, I figured... Someone on the internet had to be autistic enough to ask this question." She flipped upwards, smiling once again. "And they super duper were~! There was all kinds of super duper high school level weird people asking things like 'how do I make friends' and 'can friends make me happy in life' and 'If I recycle my friends se-'"
"Stop! Please!" Said Ogami. "So, what's the point of telling me all this? You want to be my friend?"
"I wanna be everybody's friend!" Shouted Junko happily.
"Somehow, coming from you... I can believe it." That would be the memetic proportions of my make-up, you oversized slab of beef. Thought Junko. What an idiot, she's really falling for it!
"So, in order to be everybody's friend, cuz the internet told me to, I'm going to prove my trustworthiness, and keep a secret properly!"
"No." Said Ogami, and started to walk away.
"What." Said Junko dully. "Hey! Oi! Sakura-chan! What about being friends, huh!?"
Sakura continued on down the hall, however, and Junko already knew she had lost this engagement. All the analysis in the world wouldn't bring Sakura around this time. Next time, definitely, but this time...
Her right kick found a solid block already in place, but even Mukuro's boots skidded back on the tiled floor.
"Stupid! Stupid! It's all your fault!"
"You're probably right." Said Mukuro mildly, a slight blush creeping into her cheeks. "It probably is my fault, somehow, and I deserve-" another furious, lethally fast kick was caught between her elbows and pushed aside by sheer instinct. " -this... haha."
"Damn right you do you disgusting whore! Cow! Pig!"
"Whore, cow and pig! I'm all three of those things!"
The sound of Junko's fur-clad but steel-toed boot smashing into Mukuro's bare arms resounded back down the hallway again and again.
"I want to know! I want to know now! Now! Now! Now! I hate not knowing things! Stop blocking and let me crush your trachea!"
"But if you did that, then who would help you with the student council?" Asked Mukuro seriously, not for a second doubting Junko's honest intent to kill her.
"Hmph. As if I need help from those dick-nozzles. Still, even a broken, one-handed clock is half-right twice a day. You get to live."
"Darn."
"Aaaagh. I want to know her secret though. I got impatient!"
"I-it's okay, Junko-" She blocked another kick aimed for her throat, this time catching it with one gloved hand.
"Shut up, ugly retard. Hey, where can I get some glasses around here. Go steal some from the science club."
"Okay."
"I'm going to find a way to figure out these secrets..." Junko pressed an index finger to the bridge of her nose, as if adjusting a set of glasses. "The secrets of the universe are mine to steal... Mine. My secrets." Junko quickly settled on the seductive tone, grinning viciously. Indeed.
Science was a wonderful thing.
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Topic: Periapsis Academy OOC thread (Read 26556 times)