Leaving DF for another hiatus may help, of course, since it sounds like you'd come back eventually if not completely disgusted.
FPS death is, unfortunately, about the most common DF fortress death reason, and a lot of efforts have been spent on trying to keep it up, but no surefire recipe has been found.
A year and a half ago was probably around 0.40.13, which didn't differ hugely from the current version in terms of FPS, as far as I can see/remember. Two years ago would still be early 0.40.X, but might be prior to world activation (0.40.09, I think). World activation messed up sieges a fair bit in that sieges don't just spawn at your doorstep, but rather come from a specific settlement. One problem with that is that if the settlement is a small one, it won't be able to provide much in the was of sieges, and DF doesn't yet know how to recruit from other settlements. A worse problem is that the two week period in between embarking and arriving at the embark point is a mess with a flurry of wars, settlement settling, site reclamation, etc., so even if you use Legends Mode to ensure you've got a nice strong goblin dark fortress as your closest neighbor prior to embark, the buggers may have founded a crummy black pit closer to you in the mean time. Another (very reasonable) world activation effect is that enemies tend to go after the closest settlement, so if the gobbos are at war both with you and someone else, and someone else's settlement is closer to them, they may go there first, moving on to you only when that site has been taken care of.
It would help if you could state which the old DF version you used to play was, as that would help the old timers to know what your reference is.