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[DAPARROT]

If those Commie Bastard think they can call you a bastard and get away with it then they're dead wrong.

Radio to your group quietly that you're going to pretend to surrender and have everyone wait for your distraction, throw your gun in the air and scream 'I surrender!' at them then pretend to surrender, arms up and walking out of the cover if they don't immediately shoot us and all.

Presumably they want us to approach them and have someone secure us, we'll get close then throw our hands down, one hand grabbing his rifle and another twisting him to turn away from us, using his rifle as leverage to keep his arm locked and his body a meatshield for us and start shooting down the soldiers, maybe blast an officer's foot off or something so we can easily capture him later.

+1

[origamiscienceguy]

You throw your weapon up in the air, and it crashes back down on the floor due to the acceleration of the ship. This room was still pressurized, so you shout through the air "We surrender. We are sorry, please forgive us!" One of the soldiers and an officer come towards you and take the gun you threw down. They say, "everybody throw down weapons too." You turn at them, and wink. They all get the idea and throw down their weapons. The officer talks with much more fluent English than the soldier, "Ha! Weaklings. You will get your extra rations as promised, but you will also be punished. You there," He says at you, "You must be made an example of. Execute him." The soldier uses your gun from the floor and aims at your chest. Suddenly, you slam your hands downwards again, grabbing the gun and twisting him around such that he was unable to move, yet facing away from you. All the guards immediately shoot at you, but his body absorbs the impacts, you fire your rifle at the officer's leg and he collapses on the floor, where your comrades secure him. The fight escalates from there, your comrades, few as they are, lay down suppressing fire to give you time to maneuver. Over time, both sides take losses, but your side is victorious. Two of the officers were killed in the fray, but the pilot and the wounded officer were taken as hostages. The three entrance airlocks were barred with a man on each (only three men were left) And you and Sargend Braden tied up the hostages. You look at the control panel, and there are so many buttons you have to idea how to work anything, and neither did Sargent Braden.

[vkiNm]

Point a gun to the Pilot's head and demand he stop the ship.

If he doesn't, start painting his fingers with some seriously powerful washroom cleaning solutions. He only need one finger to stop the ship after all, right?

[somemildmanneredidiot]

Instruct the pilot that he is currently an enemy combatant. If he is willing to cooperate then he will be considered a favored defector and not die. He will continue to be considered a favored defector if he changes the ship's course and brings us to United States Space with weapons disabled and signalling on United States frequencies that this ship has been taken by United States soldiers and is requesting assistance for securing the ship and taking prisoners. If he does not comply then he will be considered an enemy combatant and will regretfully need to die.

[vkiNm]

Instruct the pilot that he is currently an enemy combatant. If he is willing to cooperate then he will be considered a favored defector and not die. He will continue to be considered a favored defector if he changes the ship's course and brings us to United States Space with weapons disabled and signalling on United States frequencies that this ship has been taken by United States soldiers and is requesting assistance for securing the ship and taking prisoners. If he does not comply then he will be considered an enemy combatant and will regretfully need to die.

Remind him that his death will very much likely be painful.

[germanyfrance]

We don't need to fly to United States Space, we could just have him shut down the engines and let the Lexington catch up. I'm sure it's equipped to handle prisoners of war.

[somemildmanneredidiot]

We don't need to fly to United States Space, we could just have him shut down the engines and let the Lexington catch up. I'm sure it's equipped to handle prisoners of war.

If the Lexington is in range, then we should do that. If not, then the other thing.

[crazyabe]

Point a gun to the Pilot's head and demand he stop the ship.

If he doesn't, start painting his fingers with some seriously powerful washroom cleaning solutions. He only need one finger to stop the ship after all, right?

+1

[origamiscienceguy]

You grab the pilot by his uniform, and use your most threatening voice to say, "You are currently a combatant as you haven't surrendered yet. But if you cooperate, you will be treated humanely as a prisoner of war under the rules of the Great Prisoner of war convention. You will cut the engines, send out the surrender transmission, inform your crew to lay down their arms, and extend the ship's docking ring. If you do not comply, well..." You pull out some chlorine-bleach, "I suppose you only need one finger to do what I asked." He nervously looks at the his officer, the one who was shot in the leg. The officer looks straight at you and starts laughing an evil laugh. "hahaha. You have no idea what is coming. If you value your life, you will get as far away from civilization as possible. Then, you may get to live a full life before everything you love gets destroyed. Olov, do not comply." The Pilot stiffens up. You pour some bleach on his left pinky finger. The room starts to stench, and Olov's face scrunches up, but he made no move. Clearly he was more afraid of the officer than of you.

[Gwolfski]

Does the officer want some bleach too?

[somemildmanneredidiot]

Does the officer want some bleach too?

The officer has not surrendered and only needs his internal organs and head intact to be able to provide information. We should make this clear to him and that we are in fact not a soldier of the United States and are therefore have somewhat less restrictions on interacting with military personnel,  especially enemy military personnel.

[crazyabe]

Does the officer want some bleach too?

The officer has not surrendered and only needs his internal organs and head intact to be able to provide information. We should make this clear to him and that we are in fact not a soldier of the United States and are therefore have somewhat less restrictions on interacting with military personnel,  especially enemy military personnel.

so in otherwords: ducktape the officer's mouth shut and melt off his hands and feet.

[origamiscienceguy]

You turn to the officer instead. "Well, perhapse you could do with a bit of cleaning. You pour some bleach straight on his hair. His hair turns white and he starts screaming. However, the reaction slows and he manages some speech. "You will be court marshaled for this. This is against all acts of humane warfare." You answer calmly. However, I am not actually a soldier, I'm just a pissed off janitor. Do you know how much of a mess you made on the Lexington?" You pour some more bleach on his left hand. He starts groaning and convulsing. After a few more moments, he calms down again, but as you bring the bleach to his other hand, he breaks. "STOP! Do as he says." The pilot, still nursing his pinky, very slowly moves to the console and pushes buttons and flips switches. The  ship stops accelerating, and everybody starts floating around once again. "Now transmit an official surrender, order your troops to stand down, and extend the docking ring. The Officer tells the troops to stand down and transmits the Surrender while Olov extends the docking ring. Sargent Braden calls over the radio, "The Lexington is coming to pick us up. We need to keep the hostages until the Sinop is secured.

You and the other 4 friendlies stay in the tense situation with the officer and the pilot as hostages. You see the Lexington matching velocities with the Sinop, and a docking tunnel was launched. The tunnel had two independently flown ships attached by an extensible and flexible tube. Each end piloted to the docking ports on both ships, until both were connected. A large regiment of troops started coming over from the Lexington to the Sinop. You waited for about an hour until friendly troops arrived at the bridge and you could finally stop holding bleach over the officer's hands. Sargent Braden talks to you and says, "We have received permission to get back on board the Lexington." You, Sargent Braden, and the three surviving soldiers on the boarding party float through the RFSS Sinop, through the docking tube, and back onto the USSS Lexington. Sargent Braden and the other soldiers put back on their armor, but you stay in your janitor's clothing. You look back at the RFSS Sinop and see small craters all over from weapon damage, but at the bottom, you see a massive hole with metal twisted and bent in alien shapes. That must have been where the fusion reactor had escaped from the ship, melting the metal and leaving it to harden in such weird shapes. Captain Rogers comes to meet you, saying, "An astounding job. I think you four deserve a pain vaca..." He then sees you, "You again, were you one of the boarders as well? How the hell did that happen, you must tell me."


I have to come up with a lot of exposition here (since I'm making this story up as I go.) So I'll let you guys have fun summarizing your adventure so far. Make it sound as unbelievable as it actually was 

[DAPARROT]

sorry, accidentally posted, not sure how to summarize this

[vkiNm]

Just tell him the truth, I guess? how we were one of the fighter pilots cus we piloted a window cleaning ship, how we glue'd one of an enemy engine, stole one, shoot down whole squadrons, saved an assault ship from colision, crash through, fooled an enemy, saved some friendlies, blasted their engine's room, pulled a Red Wedding at their bridge, fooled them yet again and forced them to surrender via Chlorine Bleach.

The sergeant and 3 surviving friendlies can attest to our badassery in combat too I hope. And witnessed out Duct Tape bomb.

Ask to resupply our Janitorial supplies as well as more duct tapes.