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Author Topic: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans THE END  (Read 20017 times)

origamiscienceguy

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #105 on: July 28, 2016, 05:32:22 pm »

You summarize your story after leaving Captain Rogers from the USSS Lexington's Bridge. " Well, I went to the armory, defended it, took all of the weapons, made a duct-tape nuclear bomb, detonated it to save the reactor, used the reactor to make a lightning gun, killed everybody, then Captain Phillips told some of us to fly fighters, I fly the window-washing ship all the time, so I went in a fighter, I glued an enemies engine shut, stole someone else's fighter, shot down 3 whole squadrons, saved one of the boarding ships from crashing (you might want to save them, they'd be out in space somewhere,) crashed into the Sinop, fooled them into thinking I was a janitor, saved the other boarding party with toilet bowl cleaner, built another duct tape nuclear bomb, used it on their reactor, blew their reactor up by pretending to be dead, fooled them into thinking we all were janitors, broke into the Sinop's bridge, took two of them hostage, and forced them to surrender via chlorine bleach." Just then, the officer with white splotches in his hair was being marched into the detention sector, most likely for some interrogation. captain Rogers looked in horror at his shriveled and raw hand. He then said to Sargent Braden and you, "Come with me, Admiral Johnson wants to have a word." You two follow him into the Lexington's Situation room.

Admiral Johnson was an medium-aged woman with more combat experience than all the other officers combined. She had an air of authority in the room. Even if you didn't know her, you would know that she was in charge. She was seated at the head of a rectangular table, and everybody else, officers, the pilot, and you and Sargent Braden, were seated on the sides. She begins speaking, "As you all know, today the RFSS Sinop attacked us in what was supposed to be a trading deal. It is unclear why they did so, as the Russian Federation and United States are not at war, but we are interrogating their officers as we speak. We will find out the meaning of this surprise attack. However, there is a much more pressing issue at hand. Once the battle commenced, our communications were jammed. We had assumed that the Sinop was responsible, but now that it had powered down, we have traced it to a Russian-operated space station in the Oort cloud. However, the Lexington is in no shape to fight a space station. We are going to plot a course towards StarPort 16, in orbit of Neptune. We will get repaired, and attempt to send a warning signal back to earth describing what happened. We need to let the Earth Union know so they can take the proper actions. However, I think that it is imperative that we send a diplomatic envoy to the Russian Space Station. This would be an attempt to end the hostilities prematurely, or give us undeniable proof that the Russians mean violence. Our diplomat, Baker, will head out in an unarmed ship, but even he will be wanting some soldiers. So that's why I brought you two here," She says, looking at you and Sargent Braden. "Are you willing to escort Baker on the diplomatic mission? I assure you it will be quite safe, as nobody would dare attack a diplomat." Sargent Braden says, "I think I speak for all my men when I say, I accept." Admiral Johnson then looks at you. "I hear you were quite instrumental in our victory today. What do you say?"
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

crazyabe

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #106 on: July 28, 2016, 05:36:33 pm »

it would be funny to state that the space station is less likly to explode then our ship, but just agreeing is the better option.
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
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germanyfrance

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #107 on: July 28, 2016, 05:42:27 pm »

Ask if we can take the window-washing ship. And ask if a mechanic would like to pimp it up a little, faster, stronger, etc.
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vkiNm

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #108 on: July 28, 2016, 05:42:56 pm »

Also ask to be promoted to Head Janitor, then accept.
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Jon was the little sherman who could until he got hit by a repurposed tank gun.

origamiscienceguy

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #109 on: July 28, 2016, 06:26:35 pm »

You state your acceptance, "I will accompany Mr. Baker on two conditions, 1. I want to be promoted to Head Janitor. And 2. I want to take the window-washing ship with me, and if possible, get a mechanic to make it better, faster, and stronger."

Admiral Johnson looks at you for a moment, then agrees. "Very well, you are now the Head Janitor, I guess you can boss the others around now. And I'll see about the window-washing ship. I suppose we don't really need it here. It will fit in the diplomatic ship's cargo bay, and I don't think anybody would find it conspicuous. I'll get a mechanic on it right away to fit a better engine. We are in your debt." She dismisses you, and you meet with Baker the diplomat. He is an extremely old man who looks like he would dissolve in water, but he seems really knowledgeable and friendly. You, Baker, Braden, the three surviving soldiers from the Sinop invasion, and a pilot, all board the diplomatic envoy ship hours later, the window-washing ship was already in the cargo bay with a much larger engine than you remember. The pilot took the ship out of the Main Hangar and out into the vacuum of space. The USSS Lexington and the RFSS Sinop were disconnected again, with the later having been completely evacuated and disabled. The Lexington Engaged it's engines, leaving the Sinop as a husk, doomed to float through space for the rest of eternity.

The trip towards the Oort cloud was pretty uneventful. The diplomatic envoy was unable to send out any transmissions due to the jamming of signals. The ship accelerated uniformly for half the distance, then turned around a decelerated for the rest. However, halfway through the deceleration, an unmarked mini-carrier came within short-range communications range. Baker hailed them, but got no response. Suddenly, the mini-carrier deployed a dozen fighters, and they changed courses to intercept. The pilot began evasive maneuvers, changing directions to stay as far away as possible. Sargent Braden said over the radio, "Those bastards. Open the windows, men and take some shots at them. We are the only defense this ship has got." The windows were opened, everybody out on their respirators, and began firing rifles at the incoming fighters, for whatever good that would do.
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

vkiNm

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #110 on: July 28, 2016, 06:32:48 pm »

This is the time. Jump into our Window-Washing ship and launches into an interception course of their squadron, use our window-cleaning solution squirts as or main gun as we use the absurdly upgraded engines to duck, weave and pretty much play tag against the far more fragile fighters with our upgraded flying brick. Clipping wings and smashing engines with the far more durable bulk of our ship if needed to.

I hear that windows cleaning solutions doesn't mix well with engines, and we've lived years shooting the stuff.

Edit: Also clean that smudge off of our screen.
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Jon was the little sherman who could until he got hit by a repurposed tank gun.

Dustan Hache

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #111 on: July 28, 2016, 06:39:59 pm »

Don't forget the gauss glue guns!
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I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

origamiscienceguy

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #112 on: July 28, 2016, 06:58:58 pm »

You open the hatch to the cargo bay, and find the Lexington's window washing ship waiting for you. You open the canopy and get in the cockpit. You radio Sargent Braden to open the cargo bay, he responds, "what the hell are you going to do with that piece of... You know what? Nevermind. Do whatever it is you do." The cargo bay opens. You use the window washing ships superior lateral thrusters to navigate it out of the cargo bay (it was designed to go sideways, up and down much more than fighters.) Then you engage the main engine and rocket off at nearly 5 g's. Much better than what it used to be, and probably better than the fighters. Your ship was smaller than the fighters, but more sturdy, as it was designed to bump against the battleships every once in a while. You head on an interception course and use your lateral thrusters to dodge the incoming fire, as their targeting computers have no idea how to predict non-linear acceleration. Once you get close enough, you spray some cleaning solution (specially designed to not evaporate in a vacuum) in multiple directions such that the fighters slam into the liquid at extremely high speeds. Any liquid at a high enough speed will behave as a solid, and the cleaning solution is no different. The liquid smashes straight through the armored glass, and another volley of liquid decapitates the pilots. You take out around 3 ships in your first pass, then you use your superior engine to close the distance on their tails. You fire more cleaning solution through the engine bells, and two more ships sputter out, their engines almost instantaneously rusting, and no longer producing efficient thrust. Another three ships are no longer a concern. The other ships peel away from the envoy and engage you directly, but you have more experience flying this ship then they have flying theirs. You dodge, and shoot, and destroy all but one when your "check cleaning solution" warning light comes on. You try to squirt more, but you are all out.
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

vkiNm

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #113 on: July 28, 2016, 07:14:47 pm »

Match speed with the fighter then use our lateral thrusters like a welder and burn the fucker.
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Jon was the little sherman who could until he got hit by a repurposed tank gun.

crazyabe

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #114 on: July 28, 2016, 07:15:51 pm »

Match speed with the fighter then use our lateral thrusters like a welder and burn the fucker.
+1
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vkiNm

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #115 on: July 28, 2016, 07:41:24 pm »

You know, I just realized...

We should form the Janquisition. Then we can be Lord Janquisitor
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Jon was the little sherman who could until he got hit by a repurposed tank gun.

origamiscienceguy

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #116 on: July 28, 2016, 07:56:39 pm »

You close the distance with the last fighter, using your better maneuverability to always stay on his side. He twists and turns in all directions to try and shake you, but wit lightning-fast reflexes, you gradually close the distance. You get within 20 meters, 10 meters, 5 meters, 2 meters, and then you are practically touching him. You blast your left and right lateral thrusters at the same time, so you don't fly off, but at the same time burning a hole in his ship. You cut off a weapon, drill through the belly of the fighter, until it hits the reactor, and the ship becomes lifeless. You find the envoy ship and the mini-carrier, and see the mini-carrier trying to run down the envoy ship, however the envoy has a greater acceleration, and was pulling away. The mini-carrier gave up, and returned to look for surviving ships. Your ship has an even greater acceleration than the envoy, and you catch up, and dock in the cargo bay while the envoy was accelerating at max force. The cargo bay closes, and you climb back into the crew cabins. The soldiers and Braden give you a hero's welcome, and Baker looks as if he is having a heart attack. He says, "who would do such a thing? Men, I think we may be going somewhere we won't be coming out of again. We must tread cautiously."

You refill the window-washing ship with solution, and come back to the crew cabin as the ship approaches the Russian Station. It was bigger than the Lexington with more firepower than a dozen battleships. Once you were within short-range communication range, Baker hailed the station. "This is a diplomatic envoy from the United States Space Ship Lexington requesting permission to dock." There is a pause, then some faint background talking. They sound surprised. After a few moments, you get a response. "Docking request granted for hangar 3." The envoy ship docks inside the hangar, next to some more window washing ships and some repair ships. A group of soldiers marches up to your ship, and knock on the hatch. "We are ready to receive your diplomat. Everybody else stay on the ship or be shot." They don't sound friendly. Baker calmly says, "well, I'm not supposed to live much longer anyways, and walks out of the hatch. The hatch slams shut, leaving you, the three soldiers, Sargent Braden, and the pilot inside. You have no idea where or how this station is jamming transmissions.
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

vkiNm

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #117 on: July 28, 2016, 08:20:24 pm »

With nothing better to do currently, start cleaning the ship. Mopping floor, wiping walls and consoles..
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Jon was the little sherman who could until he got hit by a repurposed tank gun.

germanyfrance

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #118 on: July 28, 2016, 08:23:23 pm »

The guards are probably not watching the cargo hold. Sneak the washing ship out, there are others in here, so they'd assume it was one of them. Try to follow Baker through the windows, washing them every time someone looks your way.
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Gwolfski

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Re: You Can't Die: Space Shinanigans (suggestion game)
« Reply #119 on: July 29, 2016, 05:11:46 am »

The guards are probably not watching the cargo hold. Sneak the washing ship out, there are others in here, so they'd assume it was one of them. Try to follow Baker through the windows, washing them every time someone looks your way.
+1
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Eventually when you go far enough the insane start becoming the sane
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