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Author Topic: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)  (Read 4865 times)

Nidilap

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Re: !
« Reply #15 on: July 19, 2016, 03:20:50 pm »

Boss Grundy "Ya-know-it" Gruntington
Approaching the decidedly non-Orky camp dead ahead, Grundy raises his choppa.

"Dere's tha 'umie ploice, boys! Let's get ta stompin'! WAAAAAGH!!"

3

Ya take ya dozen boys and CHARGE DA HUMIE CAMP!!! WAAAAAAAAGH!

Da Humies push back pretty good, but ya still got most ya Boyz!

Da camp is unconka'd!


Invoke da power of Gork 'an Mork (or is it Mork 'an Gork?) by shoutin' WAAAGH! real loud!

1

Ya try to WAAAGH, but a loose arrow from the HUMIE direction splits intah a ead, busting ya skull across the mess hole!

YA DED

NOW DAT I'M IN CHARGE, I TAKE ALL 'A DA' ORCS DAT'LL COME WIT ME AN' GO LOOT DA NEAREST 'UMIE VILLAGE! I TAKE DA' BIGGEST 'N SHINIEST CHOPPA IN CAMP 'N CUT UP ANY ZOGGIN' GITS WOT GOT A PROBLEM WIT' IT!

6

Ya take a BIG CHOPPA made by a HUMIE

It's da biggest CHOPPA, about 8 or 9 goblins tall!

Ya measured through a few goblins the be sure.

Da biggest Orcs are sick of ya killing they Boyz n' Goblins, An' deny wan' yah 'ead!

SMASH SOME 'UMIE 'EADS WITH M' NEW CROSSBOW! FOLLOW GRUNDY!

5

Ya smash every HUMIE EAD YAH SEE, AND CAUSED A LOTTA BLOODSHED

But da camp has a lotta Humies...

And ya and ya Boyz gotta head back.

Cook food for all the orcs

1

Ya was cookin a good meal, but then brains landed in ya space, ya slipped, and bashed ya skull into ya cooking knife

YA DED

Me not orc! Me goblin!
Smash stupid orc callin me orc!


2

Ya get kicked feh ya stupid, ya GIT!

Find Da Lukky Stikk!!! I'z iz talkin ta Gork an' Mork soon!

4

Ya find a BASHA dat looks pretty Gorky n' Morky

Could it be?!

Bob, The Human Fighter

Scream incoherently and bang my sword against a rock. Quietly check to see if the green paint that I've smeared all over my face and body as a disguise is still covering me.

4

Ya make ya self pretty orcy in ya dance. Most Orcs dat see ya think ya bit too skinny, and none pay much attention t' ya.
Logged
Nidilap likes Adamantine, Bituminous Coal, Garnets, Cats for their aloofness, Dwarves for their stupidity, and Swords for their Spikes and edges. When possible, he prefers to eat pizza, ramen noodles, and sushi. He absolutely detests elves and spiders. He needs MTN DEW to get through the working day.

A medium- sized creature prone to great ambition, but only when he feels like it.

Dustan Hache

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Re: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)
« Reply #16 on: July 19, 2016, 03:26:49 pm »

Kick stupid orc in face, den stab them in neck! I tougher than orc! MUCH TOUGHER!
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I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

Teneb

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Re: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)
« Reply #17 on: July 19, 2016, 03:27:17 pm »

Waaagh! self back to life
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Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
Quote from: Tack
What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

Ardent Debater

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Re: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)
« Reply #18 on: July 19, 2016, 03:36:23 pm »

SINCE I'M DA BIGGEST, I'LL CALL MYSELF GIBBEST! DEN I TAKE MY CHOPPA AN' CHOP UP ALLA DA BIGGEST ORCS DAT DON'T RECOGNIZE THE ORCIEST WAY DERE IS TA CHOOSE A WARBOSS!
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Xvareon

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Re: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)
« Reply #19 on: July 19, 2016, 03:54:28 pm »

Grundy " 'Ead 'Ead-basha" Grumblesworth
"Dese 'umies gots some kinda thunda stiks wot make lotsa fire 'n noise! Ah wants dat dakka too 'n AH'M GETTIN' IT!"

Continue the WAAAAGH!!. Look for Grundy's shiny loot and look for some of the 'umies guns for me and my boyz!

Yoink

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Re: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)
« Reply #20 on: July 19, 2016, 04:02:41 pm »

Me not orc! Me goblin!
Smash stupid orc callin me orc!

Respawn as 'notha goblin, hoard shinies in me super-secret hidin' place while da boyz is off fightin'!
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Booze is Life for Yoink

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you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Nidilap

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Re: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)
« Reply #21 on: July 19, 2016, 04:40:26 pm »

Kick stupid orc in face, den stab them in neck! I tougher than orc! MUCH TOUGHER!

3

Ya jump an give da Boy a 'ard kick in 'is chin, but he just tosses ya across the camp!

Waaagh! self back to life

6

Ya WAAAAAAAGH greatah than any Orc before!

The WAAAGH brings ya back, an inspires tha whole camp to WWAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

You WAAAGH too 'ard, and come back a weak lil Squig.

Grab a 'uge Choppa an' sum 'ard armor, and put sum ded killybits loik spoikes on it!

1 +1 from WAAAGH ya can't find any good stuffs after all da Otha' Orcs suit up for the WAAAGH

At least ya don' get stampeded by da Otha Orcs

SINCE I'M DA BIGGEST, I'LL CALL MYSELF GIBBEST! DEN I TAKE MY CHOPPA AN' CHOP UP ALLA DA BIGGEST ORCS DAT DON'T RECOGNIZE THE ORCIEST WAY DERE IS TA CHOOSE A WARBOSS!

4 +1 WAAAGH

Ya smash ALL THE BIG BOYZ AND TAKE THEY BOYZ!!! YOU ONE A DA BIGGEST WARBOSSES NOW!!!

CHOPPA ORCBOSS

Sum Orcs howeva hate ya guts, so dey go to de OTHA GUY

DAKKA ORCBOSS

Grundy " 'Ead 'Ead-basha" Grumblesworth
"Dese 'umies gots some kinda thunda stiks wot make lotsa fire 'n noise! Ah wants dat dakka too 'n AH'M GETTIN' IT!"

Continue the WAAAAGH!!. Look for Grundy's shiny loot and look for some of the 'umies guns for me and my boyz!

6 +1 WAAAGH

 YA RIP APART DA RESS A DAH HUMIE CAMP, AN TAKE AALLL THE GUNZ

YA GOT SO MUCH SWAG, YA ATTRACT HALF DA HORDE FROM CHOPPA BOSS!!!

YOU DA DAKKA ORCBOSS NOW

Me not orc! Me goblin!
Smash stupid orc callin me orc!

Respawn as 'notha goblin, hoard shinies in me super-secret hidin' place while da boyz is off fightin'!

4 +1 WAAAGH

YA COLLECTS ALL DA GOLDS AND DAGGAS DROPPED BY DA HORDES

YA DA RICHEST GOBBO

FOR NOW
Logged
Nidilap likes Adamantine, Bituminous Coal, Garnets, Cats for their aloofness, Dwarves for their stupidity, and Swords for their Spikes and edges. When possible, he prefers to eat pizza, ramen noodles, and sushi. He absolutely detests elves and spiders. He needs MTN DEW to get through the working day.

A medium- sized creature prone to great ambition, but only when he feels like it.

Teneb

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Re: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)
« Reply #22 on: July 19, 2016, 04:50:09 pm »

Eat a git's face
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Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
Quote from: Tack
What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

Playergamer

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Re: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)
« Reply #23 on: July 19, 2016, 04:50:28 pm »

TAKE DA 'UMIE SHINIES, AND ESTABLISH M' PLACE AS GRUNDY'S LEAST-TRUSTED SECOND BOY.
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Xvareon

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Re: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)
« Reply #24 on: July 19, 2016, 04:50:36 pm »

Grundy "Handsome Jack" Grunhildebrando
"WAAAAGH!! Who's gonna stomp all da 'umies 'n stunties 'n knife-ears 'n spiky-boyz? DA ORKS, DAT'S WHO! 'Cause Orks is made for FIGHTIN' AND WINNINNNNN'!"

Have a right proper Orky party, get some squig beer and squig bacon 'n kick back with all mah new gunz 'n boyz 'n shiny loot. PAINT DEM ALL RED sos dey'll shoot fasta and be even more killy!

Also can't forget mah shiny loot. Dem was right priceless gold teef, dey were! SMASH any git who doesn't give dem to GRUNDY!
« Last Edit: July 19, 2016, 04:53:09 pm by Xvareon »
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Dustan Hache

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Re: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)
« Reply #25 on: July 19, 2016, 06:01:32 pm »

Land on Orc Dakka boss! Steal Dakka and kill boss! Kill orc that sent me flying! Be goblin king!
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I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

ziizo

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Re: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)
« Reply #26 on: July 19, 2016, 06:44:35 pm »

Be zombie orc
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

Ardent Debater

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Re: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)
« Reply #27 on: July 19, 2016, 07:17:32 pm »

WAAAGH! I TAKE ALLA MY ORCS AN' GO TAKE OVA DA' NEAREST 'UMIE CASTLE! AFTER WE CRUMPED AN' CHOPPA'D ALLA DA' 'UMIES WE MOVE INTO DA' CASTLE! IM DA BIGGEST WARBOSS DERE IS N' I'LL SHOW 'EM ALL DAT A REAL ORC DOESN'T NEED A THUNDA STICK, JUS' A BIG CHOPPA AN' MOAR DAKKA!
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LordBrassroast

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Re: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)
« Reply #28 on: August 14, 2016, 03:11:32 pm »

KRUMP DA WARBOSS. BECOME NEW WARBOSS.
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Demonic Spoon

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Re: Roll to WAAAAGH! Minimalist RPG!(Not actually WH40K)
« Reply #29 on: August 14, 2016, 03:21:10 pm »

Be magic Orc. Do magic
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