Alright so options. Tell her all the things, tell her some of the things, ask her for information first. Consume the food, obviously don't consume the food, pretend to consume the food.
Paranoia: She's in on the coop. She only let us get this close to confirm what information we know and who we shared it with. After that, we're dead.
We've come this far and are in the center of her power. We haven't set up any safeguards nor failsafes.
I say we got out on a limb and fully commit to this. Sure, the tea and food could be poisoned, sure, she could be just waiting to kill us, but I say we dive right in.
First, we join in the Tea Ceremony. I'm rusty on all the implications of it, but bare minimum it represents that we trust and respect her. Whether or not that's a good idea is a question for after this next update.
We then provide the important information. A brief overview of our escape from the assassins which lead to the searching for the hermit and the sloppy assassins, including that the one we interrogated before he killed himself was named Okuda Ryosei and that he used the phrase "The grass cannot betray the sun." when asked about who sent him. From there we encountered the hermit whom allowed us to see a vision of the attack. In it we saw [relevant details] including the face of [Target] whom the vision heavily implicated to say the least. From there we came here as Nara is where [Target] is most likely to be or where we would be able to track him from.
Upon arriving in the city we sought to learn of the current state of politics. From what we've learned about Crane positionings and the potential implications with the increase in Nanban trade, it is entirely possible that elements of the Lion, Phoenix, and Crane clans staged the attack on [our family] to emplace the Crane as the Emperor's eye and ears in the Empire, from which the three would seek to encourage major changes to the way the Empire operates, potentially including a coop.
We currently lack definitive proof of any of what we've just said. All we have is our word, our wits, and our will. If our Daimyo wills it, we will continue to pursue this matter and seek to get to the truth and heart of the matter, and still its beating as necessary.
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That's about it from what I can think of. Either we're in, we're dead, or we need to run REALLY fast. Our companions are about to get something of a rude awakening if they bother to pay attention to what we're talking about.
One mark in favor of our Daimyo being trust worthy (enough). We haven't been weapon checked. This either means that she trusts us and those we bring with us to that degree, or that she trusts in her guards to kill us before we can harm her. Good for us either way.