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Author Topic: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: T+0  (Read 1394532 times)

MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4095 on: September 14, 2016, 10:33:03 am »

To be fair, they literally dodged that by about one day. Had HB2 blown up even slightly later the governor wouldn't have known to veto.

Edit: Hey if any of you out there are part of the Globalist Population Reduction conspiracy hit me up fam, I'm a big fan.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2016, 10:43:26 am by MetalSlimeHunt »
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
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RedKing

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4096 on: September 14, 2016, 10:42:43 am »

You'd think that losing the first round of the NCAAs would be a wake-up call (even more than losing the NBA All-Star game), but no. Just more doubling down on crazy.

Eventually, we'll be known as Best Carolina, a secretive and isolated realm ruled over by an unhinged madman, but where women's restrooms are guaranteed penis-free, or your next coal ash spill is free of charge!
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4097 on: September 14, 2016, 10:46:54 am »

Not even that, I've been into a fair few businesses that went out of their way to have signs on the bathrooms defying HB2's authority in so many words.

I was at App when it passed and they sent out a student email that basically said: "We will comply with the laws of North Carolina (yeah right jk)". Not that this stopped idiot students from being unable to read between the lines and so they protested the school as opposed to the people who actually passed the law. Like, take a fucking road trip to Raleigh and protest, it's three hours and I'm sure you'll have fun.
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

RedKing

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4098 on: September 14, 2016, 10:50:56 am »

Not even that, I've been into a fair few businesses that went out of their way to have signs on the bathrooms defying HB2's authority in so many words.

I was at App when it passed and they sent out a student email that basically said: "We will comply with the laws of North Carolina (yeah right jk)". Not that this stopped idiot students from being unable to read between the lines and so they protested the school as opposed to the people who actually passed the law. Like, take a fucking road trip to Raleigh and protest, it's three hours and I'm sure you'll have fun.
That would require sobering up enough to drive to Raleigh. Besides, like, all politics is local, man!
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Sergarr

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4099 on: September 14, 2016, 10:53:21 am »

The Onion has a nice state-by-state guide to the election, for those who need some levity (i.e. ALL OF US).

And as usual, it's filled with "ha ha that's funny.....*quiet weeping*" nuggets of truth. Like this tidbit about North Carolina:

Quote
Pat McCrory vs. Roy Cooper (Governor): The outcome of this heated race could determine whether North Carolina is Virginia-level Southern or Alabama-level Southern.
I think they're being generous there, tbh. Even Alabama doesn't have a bathroom bill.  :-\
I liked that one, personally:
Quote
Detroit is the largest archeological site in the United States and once supported an ancient civilization of over 1 million people.
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._.

TempAcc

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4100 on: September 14, 2016, 11:01:09 am »

Quote from: Hawaii
Hawaiian citizens are hopeful the U.S. will finally grant the state full access to all the letters of the alphabet.

Civ reference? :v
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misko27

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4101 on: September 14, 2016, 11:02:53 am »

As always, New York has the best representation.
Quote
New York
Most critical issue facing this state this election cycle
Unemployment: A downturn in the economy has more and more New Yorkers scrambling to fill the relatively few positions as president of the United States.

Biggest race in the state
Hillary Clinton vs. Donald Trump (U.S. President): The two candidates will face a heated competition for the hearts and minds of their shared insider connections in this state.

EDIT: This is brutal,  damn.
Quote
Fun fact:
Every Ohioan lives within 150 miles of a better state.

DOUBLE-EDIT: I could do this all day.
Quote
Nevada
Most critical issue facing this state this election cycle
Fracking: Protestors are hopeful that anti-fracking restrictions will allow Nevada to remain the pristine desert hellscape that God intended it to be.

...

Fun fact
Joining in 1864, Nevada was the first uninhabitable state admitted to the Union.
Quote
Fun fact
Before dropping atomic bombs on Japan, the U.S. Army tested the technology by bombing New Mexico, which promptly surrendered.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2016, 11:33:01 am by misko27 »
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Flying Dice

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4102 on: September 14, 2016, 01:30:42 pm »

Quote
Kentucky
Coal Mining: Residents are still trying to figure out when this industry switched from one they were desperate to help their children escape to one they were desperate to keep in their state.

Hello darkness...
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4103 on: September 14, 2016, 01:46:14 pm »

More DNC leaks, with some interesting reading about how large donations to the DNC correlate with cushy diplomatic positions.
It's nice to see that to be ambassador to the UK you have to donate more than 3x the amount you do to be ambassador to the EU. Though to be fair, perhaps it's actually Sweden who are the ones driving that listed price up.
Probably because London is a much more interesting city than Brussels. It's not like ambassadors to first-world countries these days are anything more than symbolic anyway.
I was quite blessed to be able to talk to a SA ambassador once, and he said part of the issue with multilateralism was that things like the European Union were killing it
Thus if he wanted to make a deal with a Nordic country, he wouldn't have to bother going to their foreign office, he could just go to London and they would force the Nordic country through the EU to do whatever they wanted
Thus, rather naturally, countries that surrender their self-determination to the EU have vestigial ambassadors who are nothing more than symbolic dignitaries, whilst real countries actually warrant a higher bribe price for placement (also I reckon it's to do with returns in shekels). London, New York and Tokyo, anything tied to those cities get higher prices :[

Also dat dank Sweden pricing

On the topic of selling US public office posts, have this blast from the past from the Guardian
Quote
Barack Obama has rewarded some of his most active campaign donors with plum jobs in foreign embassies, with the average amount raised by recent or imminent appointees soaring to $1.8m per post, according to a Guardian analysis.

The practice is hardly a new feature of US politics, but career diplomats in Washington are increasingly alarmed at how it has grown. One former ambassador described it as the selling of public office.

On Tuesday, Obama's chief money-raiser Matthew Barzun became the latest major donor to be nominated as an ambassador, when the White House put him forward as the next representative to the Court of St James's, a sought-after posting whose plush residence comes with a garden second only in size to that of Buckingham Palace.

As campaign finance chairman, Barzun helped raise $700m to fund President Obama's 2012 re-election campaign. More than $2.3m of this was raised personally by Barzun, pictured, according to party records leaked to the New York Times, even though he had only just finished a posting as ambassador to Sweden after contributing to Obama's first campaign.

State Department veterans are increasingly concerned about the size of donations raised by political supporters who go on to take up top foreign postings. Thomas Pickering, who recently led the investigation into lethal attacks on the US embassy in Libya and represented the US at the United Nations, claimed the practice had become nothing more than "simony" – the selling of public office.

"All these people want to go to places where the lifestyle issues [are pleasant], and to some extent that produces this notion that life in these western European embassies is like Perle Mesta," he told the Guardian, referring to the "hostess with the mostest" who was ambassador to Luxembourg between 1949 and 1953 and who was known for her lavish parties.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/jul/10/obama-donors-top-embassy-jobs-rewards
Ahahahahaha they literally just want to sell cushy posts in London, my sides are split in furor of keks

WealthyRadish

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4104 on: September 14, 2016, 03:05:12 pm »

Quote
Drugs: Since the legalization of marijuana, Colorado has been forced to deal with a massive surge in tax revenue and an unaffected crime rate.

God, the traffic from construction of these new schools is such a pain in the ass. I'd be late all the time if it wasn't for the constant irritating road expansions and expanded public transport.
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Max™

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4105 on: September 14, 2016, 03:32:02 pm »

Ha ha ha ha, it isn't just me, see!
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Nebraska: There are no fun facts about Nebraska.

Delaware: Sucks.
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PTTG??

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4106 on: September 14, 2016, 03:44:55 pm »

We can fix the ambassadors thing. Ambassadors-elect can be nominated freely, but not for a specific post. Every two years, the ambassadors are shuffled randomly among all potential postings.
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Rolepgeek

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4107 on: September 14, 2016, 03:48:41 pm »

We can fix the ambassadors thing. Ambassadors-elect can be nominated freely, but not for a specific post. Every two years, the ambassadors are shuffled randomly among all potential postings.
That sounds like a terrible idea!

No offense.

But getting experience and an understanding of local culture is sort-of a vital part of the job.

Oversight committees or conflict-of-interest procedures concerning who can and cannot be nominated seem like they would be more effective, though not perfect.
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Baffler

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4108 on: September 14, 2016, 03:49:23 pm »

We can fix the ambassadors thing. Ambassadors-elect can be nominated freely, but not for a specific post. Every two years, the ambassadors are shuffled randomly among all potential postings.

I dunno about this. Getting a particular ambassador to work long-term in some place allows them to form local connections, speak the language fluently, and get used to working with the local authorities/people. If ambassadors are made transient there isn't nearly as much reason or, likely, opportunity for them to set up shop.

Damn Ameripol ninjas...
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Max™

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American
« Reply #4109 on: September 14, 2016, 04:01:57 pm »

Plus uh, call me crazy, but having people who are motivated and such to move somewhere for a job and take part in international relations doesn't really sound like a problem. If the job just involves heading overseas to party on a yacht and disseminate state secrets, sure, get mad about it then.
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