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Author Topic: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)  (Read 6540 times)

Zanzetkuken The Great

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Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)
« on: June 19, 2016, 03:15:07 pm »

LP of Crusader Kings II using the After the End mod.



My name is Wenceslao Iturbide.  I hired someone to draw this pristine image of myself.



This is my wife.  She is better than me at several things, but only now have I gotten enough prestige after what marrying a lowborn cost me.



Here's my heir.  Even in his young age, he has some areas where he is better than me.









This is the rest of my family.  In order, my father, mother, sister, nephew, first daughter, second daughter, and second son.  As you can see, most of them are better than me in some way.  Except my father.  I can be content I will always be better than him.



These are the lands I rule.  It is all that remains of Mexico after the event that devastated much of the world occurred.






We're doing fairly well for ourselves, all things considered, but I have a dream.



I will one day restore Mexico to its original power!  I will make Mexico great again!  I'll start with the nearby Merchant Republic of Veracruz.  Maybe I'll take the diplomatic option first.



Diplomacy has failed.  Call the war machine!



We shall assemble in the province of Puebla.



From there, we will take a slight detour south to intimidate the heathens in Tehuacan.  They might try to do something when I'm away.  I'll leave my priest there too.



I put command in the hands of my head general Head.  Wait, what?



As you can see, our glorious old world strategies beat their dirty new world power perfectly.  For some reason, they won't surrender despite this masterful defeat.  I mean, we only outnumbered them about 48 to 1!



I requested someone build up some castle fortifications in the capital.  I don't want anyone taking my stuff when I'm away.  Hopefully they don't mistake the order and build them everywhere.  I don't want them to fortify places that don't belong directly to me.



I asked about what type of terrain the territory was in the province being besieged by Veracruz.  Apparently, they consider that to be hills.  I would call bullshit, but they know more than me.  I'll have them attack it when the siege is finished.



That was fast.



Hmmm...I sent that guy to the province with the heathens.  Coincidence?  I think not.



...Did you follow me?  When did I make you spymaster?  And why do they have more tech than us?  We are the original Mexico!  We should have more stuff than them!




Boy, they ran off to fight those guys.  Surprisingly, Veracruz still won't surrender, even after we capture their capital, obliterate their army, and capture their heir.



What drugs are the people in the old United States on?  I don't know, but I do know that guy is up in the nation that composes most of Old New York State.



Hold on.  I know you want to deal with the heathens, but I need you in the front lines commanding right now.




They surrendered after we captured another part of their province.  I'll give the province to my heir when he grows up.



That was fast.



I can invade this guy next.  I will.  Might need my vassals for the next attack.



I'll have them form up in the...province I can't pronounce.



They most certainly are completely harmless to me.



Don't think their leader is, though.  He's really far away.  I doubt I will ever need to concern myself with him.



Attack!  Attack with glorious Old World Tactics!



Not good enough.  Do better later.



Eh, why not?



Shame.  He was a good one.  Though I don't remember him doing anything...




That funeral took quite a bit out of me.  So much bluffing.  No one in my family is better at me in Intrigue, though!



Neat.  Now to figure out who to marry her off to.  Wait, did I marry my first daughter off yet?  I don't think I have...  I think I need to deal with that...



I'm attempting to write this up in a style similar to Knud Knytling, Prince of Denmark.  Doubt I succeeded, but I hope to get better as I go along.
« Last Edit: July 31, 2016, 10:51:32 pm by Zanzetkuken The Great »
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somemildmanneredidiot

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Re: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2016, 11:18:20 pm »

Ptw
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LordBrassroast

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Re: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2016, 05:46:12 am »

ptw. Liked Knud, so I'll see where this goes.
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EuchreJack

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Re: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2016, 09:33:54 pm »

Although I take offense to the notion that Mexico was ever Not-Great, I am interested in seeing where this goes.

Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2016, 01:45:25 am »

Although I take offense to the notion that Mexico was ever Not-Great, I am interested in seeing where this goes.

It's currently smaller than the Yucatan Peninsula, so it's fallen on some pretty hard times.  Just getting back to the borders of 2016 will be a challenge, much less conquering the territory the US had won from them.
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NRDL

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Re: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2016, 01:50:30 am »

Yassss, another CK2 run.  Can't get enough of these. 
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Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2016, 10:41:21 am »



Married off my first daughter to the heir of the duchy of the Alamo.  If the kingdom between us doesn't claim that independent duchy belongs to them, a Mexican (descendant) will rule over the Alamo.  As for the other daughter, she's betrothed to the eldest bastard of this guy with only bastards, all acknowledged.  So long as succession doesn't change, that should get us an alliance on the other side of the nearby heathens we can holy war.  Just need to wait until he inherits...



Whoo!  Finally got the trouble county converted.  I was worried with how silent its been.




The last sieges required to wrap up control of the coast to the kingdom of Yukatan go perfectly.  Superior Mexican Strategy causes us to have no casualties in the fighting.



Finally, the war's ended and I can start preparations to launch a Holy War for my own-



...or they could launch their own.



Huh.  People of that religion stick together.  And their armies outnumber glorious Mexico.



Until these guys show up for free...



And I buy out these cheap guys.  Now we are in our rightful place, ready to kick the asses of these pretender states and show who's the real Mexico around here!



Neat.  I don't have to give away that new province now.



The army has assembled!  And that number of troops makes me want to go to a church.



Good thing this marriage is ready to be made!



Even at full mobilization and bringing in mercenaries and a holy order, we are barely losing any money.  I'll see if we can suffer just enough losses so we are making money again.



That's a much better number of troops.



The battle begins!  Fight with invincible old world strategies!



While I don't know much about military, I'm starting to get good at getting my troops to not move.



Yeah, we had some bad losses there, but we broke the center!  That counts right?



Okay, we may not want to do that next time.  Their losses were less than twice ours!



At least we scared them enough to make them run in opposite directions while we siege the capital.



And hey, we're making money again!



A lot of it, at that!



That took a long time almost was late for-



Ambushing our foe before they meet up!  Supreme Mexican Strategy, give us this day!




Almost finished them off before the other guys came by.



Still won, though.  But we obviously failed in implementing Old World Strategy.  That's too close a margin of killing for it to have been the proper strategy.  I'll need to have my generals study the books again, I think.




We did manage to capture the leader of this farce and some unimportant dude I can't ransom away.



He signed the treaty!  Considering we had him pay us over 200 ducats of gold, I'm kinda surprised.  Maybe we'll ask for more next time.



You fool!  We just got a lot of money, we don't need more right now!



In fact, the keep needs some renovating.  I'll pay someone to build a Keep in Mexico, Mexico, Mexico.




Sadly, I have to send away the troops I bought.  They were starting to ask for a lot money and I wanted money more than troops.  This will in now way come back to bite me.



I recently read that the Old World used armies they had up all the time.  I'll pay some soldiers to do that for me.  I don't know why they had the uniforms at events being dresses, but we need to copy them.  It obviously worked for them before the calamity, so we obviously have to copy what they did.



I wonder if I can fool the Church...I'll consult an old world book to help with this ruse!  They should ha



Hope I don't screw this up!



I didn't screw this up!



Obviously, we must make a really, really big one.  It will help with the vision's credibility, of course.  That's what I read at least.



May have to get my vassals to fork over some cash for it, though.




News filters in that the reigning Pope, Praised-Be, has declared a crusade from beneath the Great Arch of the Papacy of St. Louis.  We weren't invited though.  Wouldn't have joined anyway.  Old Mexico never declared any Crusades, so it is obviously beneath us.



I got into an arguement with someone.  They said I had too much pride and was sinful because of it.  I ordered them to be put in the stocks.  It is obviously treason to not be proud to be a part of the Stupendous Nation of Mexico.



Only about 500 ducats.  I need yet more money.





Got some ducats from the Lords.  In addition to my own, we have roughly 300 ducats saved up.  We'll...what's that?  They found something when surveying a site?  We must check it out!



Do it carefully.  This is glorious Old World stuff.  Everything inside is worth far more than your life!



MakeitworkMakeitworkMakeitworkMakeitworkMakeitworkMakeitworkMakeitworkMakeitworkMakeitworkMakeitwork-




GLORIOUS!



Some guy's talking about some land I own?  Sell it to him.  Oh look at me explode that thing with my boomstick!



Fine, I'll get back to business.  We still need money for the Cathedral, after all.



Whelp, let's see if he'll let me ransom her.  Besides being my mother, she's the only competent spymaster in the kingdom.



Whelp.  This sucks.



Just ask the lords this time.  I'll take out a loan as well for it.  The bankers should listen to the glorious nation of Mexico.



I knew they had common sense.



Begin construction!  Hmm...I wonder if I should start a Holy War to pick up some territ- I mean, bring glory to God.  Yes, that.
« Last Edit: June 29, 2016, 03:58:49 pm by Zanzetkuken The Great »
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EuchreJack

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Re: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)
« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2016, 08:31:26 pm »

Yucatan killed your mother.  Now they must die.

Dorsidwarf

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Re: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)
« Reply #8 on: June 29, 2016, 02:55:32 pm »

I love this, because I cant help but read this in a gravelly, self-reflective manner out loud as I go through
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ATHATH

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Re: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)
« Reply #9 on: July 01, 2016, 01:48:47 am »

What does the "Zombify" trait of the Voodoo religion do?
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Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)
« Reply #10 on: July 01, 2016, 03:56:47 pm »

Picked up more DLC.  Only missing Conclave now.  Some faces were changed, as Sunset Invasion changes the look of a few of the rulers, and that's it.  Can't be invaded by Aztecs when you are in America.

Oh, small aside I forgot to mention in the prior.  The Vatican of this mod is St. Louis and the Pope's actual name is Praised-Be.



The Upstanding Ventures of Wenceslao



The Yucatan will pay eventually.  First I need to break this madness to my south.  The leader of Mixteca is married to the ruler of the guy that just invaded me, and her sister, the only other person in the family, is married to the guy's ally!  I must not let this stand!



You want your ass kicked again?  Because that's how you'll get your ass kicked again.

We may need to ask the Holy Order to stop by again, though.  Good thing they only cost money to supply!



My generals complained about fighting in the mountains.  I point out we kicked their ass before...




...and we'll kick it again.  Soon as we march out of the province, we get word the other army went there to join up with the Mixteca army.



I order an attack to kick em again.




The professionals under my command manage to corner both a general and their King, killing them.  This breaks the alliance and forces them to drop out of the war.

Wenceslao Iturbide, you are a strategic genius!



Cabeza died during a siege.  Farewell Head, you were a good head general.




We go forth and fight them again, in the province, but a different territory this time.  The Queen hired some mercenaries, but they cannot beat Glorious Old World tactics!



After the battle I hear the symbol of my vanity Holy Cathedral has been completed.



I'll go fight the guys who took over their capital from our siege forces in celebration!



I wonder where they keep getting guys from.



My last son grew up.  I'll have him administer this area when the conquest is over.



Hey, the guy I sent over there did something!  Maybe I can get a civil war to start over there after their current one!



They clustered around the third place in the province.  We move to attack!



Old world wins again!



Looks like we found out how many times we have to hit them in the head to get it through their skulls that you can't beat the descendants of the Old World!



Think I'm going to need to reorganize things a bit.



I need to pay to get it recognized that this title belongs to my land.  I apparently can't just declare that to be a true thing and be done with it.



I gave the converted churches to random people of the same faith as me to keep them loyal, put two of them in charge of two of the provinces, then gave the other two provinces and the Duchy to my second son.  This will in no way come back to bite the family in several generations.




Awesome!  People recognize the superiority of Mexico!



I can admit, when we returned from the war, explaining to the church that the leader of the Holy Order may not be fit to go to war anymore was a bit awkward.



I noticed my heir hadn't yet married, despite being 23.  I found a lowborn girl with some fairly high stats and had him marry her...hey wait a minute.  Is this what my dad did?  And wasn't my mother lowborn as well?  Huh.  I wonder if it's in our blood to do this?



Why do I get the urge to sit on the balcony overlooking the gardens with my old world gun and yell at young people?



When I confront her about her plot to her brother, she refuses to back down.  Girl, I am your father, you will listen to me and plot to take down the guy that killed your grandmother.



Oh, he was murdered by his own priests...I think it would be a good idea to go to church more.  I'll go to the vanity project holy site that I funded.

Will Wenceslao settle down in his late life and try to keep his heir alive?  Or will he run off into another war to grow Mexico?  Find out in the next installment of the Upstanding Ventures of Wenceslao!



What does the "Zombify" trait of the Voodoo religion do?

Dunno, haven't looked over at the areas of the Caribbean Empire with the required religion yet.  I, like this king, have only focused upon Mexico.  Only times I've really looked out are when it turned out a trade route was blocked and I wanted to know which province was under siege to block it.
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Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)
« Reply #11 on: July 01, 2016, 11:49:19 pm »

The Upstanding Ventures of King Wenceslao



Some news came in from the North.  Apparently the Crusade failed.  This means us winning our Holy War indicates ours is superior!



Though it looks like we may have a lean few years.  I need to get that loan paid off.



Obviously, the chroniclers decide to put some strange stuff in the family history as I'm not doing anything they consider interesting.



Fortunately, these raiders that come around to make things interesting.  We do manage to get the loan paid off, though.




We strike at them with predictable results.  You know, fighting's getting boring.  Maybe I'll try something different next war.



Hey, looks like the advice the church gave me to send a missionary to my son's province paid off.




This apparently leads to me gaining the title of 'the Holy'.  At least I know how I will be known.



My other son reached 20 and is unmarried.  I obviously induct him into the tradition.  The girl apparently had a bastard daughter with someone, but so long as no one tells him, things should be good.



The Church advises me to wage a Holy War against a nation to our south to prove we are that much better than those who failed their Crusade by winning another Holy War.  This sounds great!



This mobilization plan is complex.



And before things can get off the ground, my wife dies while I'm away.  The Church assured me that I would be back before that happened.  Yeah, I'm not winning this Holy War for the church anymore.



Whatever.




I'll stall out the war with a lot of sieges.



Oh hey, I remember that guy.  If I invade one of his lands after this war, then I'll have enough land to claim full authority over his land, fully integrating the major province again!



Alternatively, I could die.  Well, I hope my son runs the land better than me.



You better not become a zealot from that, though.

So ends the Upstanding Ventures of King Wenceslao.  Next time, the start of the Numerous Oddities of King Porfirio.



If it wasn't clear, I'm going to see if I can fill out the whole alphabet by having the descriptor words use the two previous letters of the alphabet.  Got UVW with Wenceslao, and am now getting NOP with Porfirio.  Six down, twenty to go.
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JumpingJack

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Re: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)
« Reply #12 on: July 03, 2016, 06:59:53 pm »

Oh hey, I didn't think that this mod was up-to-date. Anyway, if you're on the road to bringing Mexico back to its former state of greatness, you may need to reinstate the worship of the Aztec gods reclaim the lands lost to the Americans in ages past. In short, you should eventually launch a grand invasion. A sunset invasion, if you will.
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Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE)
« Reply #13 on: July 04, 2016, 01:04:31 am »

The Not-at-all-long Order of King Porfirio



Hello, I am King Porfirio, adherent of the Cult of Death.  As a result of what is told, adherents are well aware of what it would take to live a long life.






These are my wife and kids.  All of them share the same adherence as myself, so we should all last a fair amount of time.



I eventually found it.  Took a bit to convince the church our family should have the relic granted within the crowning ceremony, as it was listed as a holy relic since it was found when the Cathedral was under construction.  Still, my father's reputation helped us out on that front.  Thanks Dad.



This may have some issues in the future.  I'll have it dealt with when I manage to finish up my father's war.



I must wonder just how many kids we will wind up having.  With both our lives likely remaining long, and already on the way to our fourth kid in the seventh year, I cannot help but believe we shall wind up leaving the Iturbide family strong.



I shall take up a focus on family.  Need to get practice in early for when it winds up growing large.



The siege of the first province completes, putting it under our total control.  Now we won't have to worry about our supply lines when we besiege their capital.  First we need to dislodge our foe's army, though.



I trust things shall go well.  The army has had a good deal of experience gained in the prior wars.





Seems I was proven correct.  And our head general was granted a new name from the battle.  Apparently, he used a scavenged rifle in one of the great charges of the enemy lines that shattered their forces.  He quite well earned it.  I may go up to the front to congratulate him.  I seem to recall he had a child.  Maybe a betrothal can be arranged.



Seems more problems are stirring.  My first cousin once removed is attempting to gain enough approval to have the line's power shift to himself.  I'll need to deal with this once the war finishes.  I should have a lot of time when that happens.



More troublesome news.  It seems our foe's army has marched far in their shattering.  While this might ordinarily be good, it has ended up on our west while our primary army is to our east.  We shall manage to pull through it, though.



Don't be nervous, good sir.  I'm not a cruel man.  Though I must ask what that smell pervading this place is.  It seems a bit odd.



Oh.



So ends King Porfirio, all too short for this world.  Less than a year passed from his coronation to his death.  Will his son find his killer?  Oh wait, the kid's three years old.  Tough times may be ahead for the rising Nation of Mexico...



Oh hey, I didn't think that this mod was up-to-date. Anyway, if you're on the road to bringing Mexico back to its former state of greatness, you may need to reinstate the worship of the Aztec gods reclaim the lands lost to the Americans in ages past. In short, you should eventually launch a grand invasion. A sunset invasion, if you will.

Version is for 2.5.2, so it should work.  And do not worry, I will eventually invade to restore Mexico to its very original territory.  Maybe even get to the territory that was originally held by Spain.  Still deciding on if I, after reaching the territory of 2016 Mexico, I will have all territories along the northern border have the 'castle wall' improvement before I go ahead with that plan before I continue on.
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Dorsidwarf

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Re: Make Mexico Great Again (CKII-AtE) (Third King Coming Soon)
« Reply #14 on: July 04, 2016, 08:46:51 am »

Oh, owch.

Don't think I've ever actually been assassinated in CK2
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