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Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

I don't care enough about this forum game to be.

[Dustan Hache]

BARDNIR!: Offer some cheese to the cursor. And jimmy. And the chaotic bloodmage. heck, offer cheese to EVERYONE, but keep a wedge for yourself.
Chaotic Bloodmage: Cast Dispel meta ward On jimmy!
Follow up with a cast of Siphon Influence, to drain away those auto fives to use on yourself!

[Lenglon]

THE TIME OF FIVE HAS COME. FE5R THE 5. SU5MI5 TO T5E 5. A5L G5OR5 5O TH5 5. 5E 5H5 5 T5A5 Y55 A55W5Y5 W55T5D 55 55. 555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555.

[chaotic skies]

Using metamancy, change the dice to a d100.

[H4zardZ1]

Fully apply the 'TREES, DAMMIT!' effect.
In other words: SUMMON TREES EVERYWERE

[thegamemaster1234]

Be the angry internet troll going to that stupid person who dared to illegally use his credit card number [Bardnir].

Bombard Bardnir with all sorts of bad language, racial slurs, and general spam.
Go here, volume on full blast.
Steal the cheese that is rightfully mine.
Curse Bardnir to reduce all of his rolls by 1.

[TheBiggerFish]

Before Chaotic Skies can change the dice to a d100, Jimmy:make all actions I post automatic successes.

Jimmy:Make it completely impossible for anyone, excluding myself and anyone acting on my actions' orders, to influence my influence.

Jimmy:No-sell the Chaotic Bloodmage's attempts to dispel meta ward and siphon influence.

[H4zardZ1]

Using metamancy, change the dice to a d100.

After d100 happens: Apply kudzu to ninety.

[NJW2000]

GM: awaken the meta-knight, and send it round on a mission of death to all players who try to post meta actions.

[chaotic skies]

This is an absolute mess. I love it!

[ironsnake345]

Turn 11

You are now the cursor.

And you are NOT happy. This was supposed to be a fun, chaotic RTD, but it's turning into a classic kid's game of "who can make up more rules which mean only they can win?" What a mess. All this metamancy is getting out of hand. You're really considering just ending it here. This has gone way beyond the breaking point. I'ts no longer fair, funny, or really entertaining at all. This is all becoming one big disast-

GM: awaken the meta-knight, and send it round on a mission of death to all players who try to post meta actions.

...Let's do this shit!
[1]
Oh no, you're not going to stand for this. If you can't tell little Jimmy what to do, you're going to tell some other douchebag to tell him what to do. It's time for some deus ex machina, beyotch!
[auto 5] [trees: 6]
Ladies and gentlemen, fighting metamancy with metamancy. Good day.

You are now little Jimmy

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, the sky tears open and from the heavens plummet six massive trees and a knight clad in black armor decorated with the dankest of memes, holding a sword forged of pure meta! Woe betide those who screw with reality, for the meta-knight has come!
"Alright, ya bastards, I'm here to patch the fourth wall, chew bublegum, and kick some ass!"
"AND I'M ALL OUT OF GUM"

From now on, any and all meta-bending will get the attention of the meta-knight. Oh, and he REALLY hates forumites.

BARDNIR!: Offer some cheese to the cursor. And jimmy. And the chaotic bloodmage. heck, offer cheese to EVERYONE, but keep a wedge for yourself.
Chaotic Bloodmage: Cast Dispel meta ward On jimmy!
Follow up with a cast of Siphon Influence, to drain away those auto fives to use on yourself!

[3] [6] [5] [trees: 6]
Bardnir begins handing out cheese! But the only people who end up getting cheese are the cursor, Jimmy, and Bardnir. This cheese is delicious! After bardnir finishes handing out cheese, the chaotic bloodmage decides it's time to stop a certain poshguinfish from screwing with things! He decides to do a non-blood spell and pours huge amounts of magic energy into dispelling the barrier placed by TheBiggerFish! With a titanic amount of effort, the barrier is shattered! The chaotic bloodmage then attempts to steal the fives using even more powerful magic, and succeeds, causing trees to rain down on the battlefield! Jimmy has lost the fives of Posguinfish influence, and the Chaotic bloodmage's actions are now all auto fives!
The meta-knight eyes the chaotic bloodmage suspiciously...

THE TIME OF FIVE HAS COME. FE5R THE 5. SU5MI5 TO T5E 5. A5L G5OR5 5O TH5 5. 5E 5H5 5 T5A5 Y55 A55W5Y5 W55T5D 55 55. 555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555.

You can't do the thing that you always wanted to do because you've never had any specific goals in mind! Fives sure are pretty, though.

Using metamancy, change the dice to a d100.

[5] [trees: 6]
As you begin to focus your metamantic powers, the meta-knight rushes out of nowhere and kicks you in the chest, ruining your metamantic spell! It then kicks off of your torso and springs into the air, cleaving through six trees as it rises, and slashes the crap out of an action from chaotic skies!
"Let this be a warning to you, chaotic one! If you forsake the natural laws of the RTD but once more, I WILL come for you!"

Fully apply the 'TREES, DAMMIT!' effect.
In other words: SUMMON TREES EVERYWERE

[1]
You do some heavy-duty spellcasting and attempt to summon trees absolutely everywhere! Unfortunately, you don't get it right, and your spell fizzles and wastes your magic. Oh bother, looks like you're empty!

Be the angry internet troll going to that stupid person who dared to illegally use his credit card number [Bardnir].

Bombard Bardnir with all sorts of bad language, racial slurs, and general spam.
Go here, volume on full blast.
Steal the cheese that is rightfully mine.
Curse Bardnir to reduce all of his rolls by 1.

You are now the troll who Bardnir hacked.

As you step out of the browser, the logo for internet explorer opens around you, revealing an open field with may old growth trees scattered around. Wait, there he is! There's the jerk who got your credit card information! Time to give this jerk a piece of your mind!
[6][2][3][6]
You open the floodgates and let the shitstorm fly! A tsunami of spam floods the entire battlefield, bombarding all its inhabitants! Even you don't manage to dodge, but some fuccboi wearing memes somehow manages to climb a tree and escape the wave. Ah, feels like home around here.
[Viznor's END roll: 3+1=4]
You attempt to rickroll Bardnir, but the cursor accidentally turns on airplane mode at EXACTLY the right time to interrupt the connection! The video refuses to buffer!
You attempt to steal everyone's cheese, and manage to steal a wedge from the crate that Bardnir has been getting cheese from. Bardnir abjures your attempts to steal any more cheese.
You weave a powerful curse to cripple Bardnir, and right at the climax of the spell, the knight who had avoided your shitstorm nails you from out of nowhere with a wicked plunge attack, spoiling your meta-curse!
"You'll not bring that foul metamancy into my domain, troll! If you try anything like that again, it will be the last thing you do!"

You are now little Jimmy.

Before Chaotic Skies can change the dice to a d100, Jimmy:make all actions I post automatic successes.

Jimmy:Make it completely impossible for anyone, excluding myself and anyone acting on my actions' orders, to influence my influence.

Jimmy:No-sell the Chaotic Bloodmage's attempts to dispel meta ward and siphon influence.

"YOU!!!"
[3][4][3]
As TheBiggerFish attempts to retcon his actions back through time, the meta-knight appears from nowhere and abjures the poshguinfish with a shield of rickrolling! The poshguinfish is repelled by the worst love song ever, but rebounds by quickly barring any access to his influence, but the meta-knight slips through before it can take effect and horribly slashes TheBiggerFish! The poshguinfish feebly attempts to resist further attempts to weaken itself, but the meta-knight continues its onslaught and leaves the wall-breaking forumite badly wounded and with no special powers whatsoever! Oh, how the mighty have fallen!
"This is your final warning, fish. Quit these ridiculous rule-changes and play like you're regular, or else I will cut you to ribbons."
As the meta-knight begins to walk away, it suddenly turns around and zaps TheBiggerFish with a cattle prod!
"And for the love of god, get back to Voidlight Academy! Seriously, for f#ck's sake!"

Using metamancy, change the dice to a d100.

After d100 happens: Apply kudzu to ninety.

You cannot apply kudzu to ninety because there is no ninety!

Life:60%. Magic:0%. Manna:30% Inventory: pants, sword, fake arms, laptop. Companions: obedient werefrog, pile of mostly obedient eldritch horrors, spirit of an evil child. Status: normal. Location: my desktop.
You are sitting around awkwardly with the chaotic bloodmage and several creatures from beyond the fourth wall.
THE META-KNIGHT COMETH!
Enemy stats:
Chaotic bloodmage: Health: 40% Magic: 0% Manna: 85%
Viznor the seer: Health: no reading. Magic: seemingly infinite. Manna: no reading. Injuries: scratched and badly bruised. Scabs. Mentally shaken. Left thumb broken.
Bardnir: Health: 106? Magic: 0? Manna: no reading.
Moznarx Hogroof: Health: seemingly immortal. Magic: You've lost track. Manna: no reading.
The meta-knight: Health: 100% Magic: 100% Manna: 100%
Angry Internet Troll: Health: 35% Magic 100% Manna: 100%

The number five: Health: 5 Magic: 5 Manna 5 Status: oldtree
There are 13 huge trees and six metric butt-tons of cut lumber around the field.

[Lenglon]

OBJECTION: the purpose of this most recent and all the previous "5" posts was not at all in line with how the GM has been running them. There has been specific goals in mind for each and every one of them, and the GM's failure to run these actions is a clear violation of the SACRED DUTY of GMing. As such, a request has been filed for compensation by each of these abused actions. Although it is their right to ask not only to be run but to auto-succeed due to GM FAILURE, the prosecution has put forward a plea bargain option for these actions to simply be run in the upcoming turn, with simple non-modified rolls, and with the caviat that their purpose be put forward in clear simple English.

The victim posts were as follows, with their purpose put in clear simple english after them for added clarity:

Spoiler: Many posts (click to show/hide)

5

Meaning: Make a random die roll this turn that would otherwise not be a 5, into a 5.

Five

Meaning: Make a random die roll this turn that would otherwise not be a 5, into a 5.

FIVE!

Meaning: Make a random die roll this turn that would otherwise not be a 5, reroll until it does roll a 5. apply all the results.

FiveFive? FiveFiveFive FiveFive . Five. FiveFiveFiveFiveFive. FiveFive. Five!

Meaning: Make all die rolls that result in 5 trigger another die roll. apply all the results.

5?

Meaning: Make a random 5 die result into a random nonfive die result.

Code: [Select]

---  ---
 \    /
  \  / 
   \/   
  ---- 

Meaning: Make crappy ascii art of a random action that contained a 5, preferably with a roman theme.

THE TIME OF FIVE HAS COME. FE5R THE 5. SU5MI5 TO T5E 5. A5L G5OR5 5O TH5 5. 5E 5H5 5 T5A5 Y55 A55W5Y5 W55T5D 55 55. 555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555.

Make actions, on a 5, succeed. despite all unlikelyhood and all opposition.

additionally, for the current turn's action: F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-Five?
meaning: make an action modified by more than 3 roll modifiers into a 5, despite the modifiers. simultaniously make an action that resulted in 5 with less than 3 modifiers reroll, applying the new result.
((I somehow suspect there will soon be a death battle between meta knight and law ninjas.))

[Dustan Hache]

Chaotic bloodmage: Rest and recover a bit, Then invite the meta knight for some tea. Maybe chamomile, he seems a bit tense.

Bardnir!: bring cheese to the tea party, if the troll hasn't taken it all. Also, do not "Cut the cheese".

[ironsnake345]

OBJECTION: the purpose of this most recent and all the previous "5" posts was not at all in line with how the GM has been running them. There has been specific goals in mind for each and every one of them, and the GM's failure to run these actions is a clear violation of the SACRED DUTY of GMing. As such, a request has been filed for compensation by each of these abused actions. Although it is their right to ask not only to be run but to auto-succeed due to GM FAILURE, the prosecution has put forward a plea bargain option for these actions to simply be run in the upcoming turn, with simple non-modified rolls, and with the caviat that their purpose be put forward in clear simple English.

The victim posts were as follows, with their purpose put in clear simple english after them for added clarity:

Spoiler: Many posts (click to show/hide)

5

Meaning: Make a random die roll this turn that would otherwise not be a 5, into a 5.

Five

Meaning: Make a random die roll this turn that would otherwise not be a 5, into a 5.

FIVE!

Meaning: Make a random die roll this turn that would otherwise not be a 5, reroll until it does roll a 5. apply all the results.

FiveFive? FiveFiveFive FiveFive . Five. FiveFiveFiveFiveFive. FiveFive. Five!

Meaning: Make all die rolls that result in 5 trigger another die roll. apply all the results.

5?

Meaning: Make a random 5 die result into a random nonfive die result.

Code: [Select]

---  ---
 \    /
  \  / 
   \/   
  ---- 

Meaning: Make crappy ascii art of a random action that contained a 5, preferably with a roman theme.

THE TIME OF FIVE HAS COME. FE5R THE 5. SU5MI5 TO T5E 5. A5L G5OR5 5O TH5 5. 5E 5H5 5 T5A5 Y55 A55W5Y5 W55T5D 55 55. 555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555.

Make actions, on a 5, succeed. despite all unlikelyhood and all opposition.

additionally, for the current turn's action: F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-Five?
meaning: make an action modified by more than 3 roll modifiers into a 5, despite the modifiers. simultaniously make an action that resulted in 5 with less than 3 modifiers reroll, applying the new result.
((I somehow suspect there will soon be a death battle between meta knight and law ninjas.))

Your complaint has been recieved, the translations gladly welcomed, and the actions will be run in the next turn, though I cannot say when they will have all run their course, nor can I say how the meta-knight will respond to all this.

[chaotic skies]

Jimmy: Re-assess the situation, and attempt to talk to the metaknight.

[TheBiggerFish]

Me:Point out that it was Jimmy doing all those things, and cackle wildly as they have already happened!  MUAHAHAHA!!!!!111!1!!1!1ONEONEONE! (Any ones are NOT supposed to have influences on Jimmy's rolls.)

Jimmy:Banish the meta-knight by beating it in Smash with Meta Knight!