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Author Topic: A Tale of Blood, Bone, and Lasagne - A horror-comedy-gore SG  (Read 4175 times)

spümpkin

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You stand in front of your bed. You have just woken up, and are standing in your sleepwear. Around you, is your bedroom, as one would suspect. There is an alarm clock, which has been gleefully busted to pieces by your own hand. You monster. How could you do such a thing? Anyway, besides your murderous tendencies, there is also a poor-quality lamp on the bedside table which the alarm rests in pieces, and a few drawers. There is also a closed cupboard, a desk with a vintage-looking computer on it, and a strange black amorphous blob in the corner. Wait, what? Nevermind. It's gone now. You seem to have woken up too early, as the sun has not even risen yet, and the moon is full. But you cannot sleep, due to:

A. Your alarm being broken (you have work tomorrow, and you must be on time!) and
B. The eerie sense something is watching you.

The latter thing may have something to do with the darkening of the shadows around you, which seem to be unnaturally... dark. You also have an en suite bathroom (ooh la la, fancy), which seems to be locked, which is odd, as you remember leaving it open for late night emergencies. There is also an odd gurgling sound emanating from within.

Now. What is your action?

"Remember, not all is as it seems." You think you hear, but you don't.
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Quote from: Sergarr
When in doubt, use puns.
Quote from: Calidovi
in our own special way we are all shitpost
each day, when the sun shines and greets us with a smile, at least one of us finds that inner strength to spout bullshit on a forum revolving around the systemized slaughter of midgets
dont call me a shitposter, call me a spirit one with the shitpost atman
Quote from: Descan
that's pretty gay

TheBiggerFish

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Re: A Tale of Blood, Bone, and Lasagne - A horror-comedy-gore SG
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2016, 08:55:34 pm »

Well.  Alarm clock funeral?  Can we rebuild it?  Do we have the technology?
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It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

spümpkin

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Re: A Tale of Blood, Bone, and Lasagne - A horror-comedy-gore SG
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2016, 08:56:30 pm »

You have a moment of silence for the alarm clock that you brutally murdered yourself. You then remember that you do not even have the knowledge to repair an alarm clock, or all the pieces. You really smashed it to pieces.
Logged
Quote from: Sergarr
When in doubt, use puns.
Quote from: Calidovi
in our own special way we are all shitpost
each day, when the sun shines and greets us with a smile, at least one of us finds that inner strength to spout bullshit on a forum revolving around the systemized slaughter of midgets
dont call me a shitposter, call me a spirit one with the shitpost atman
Quote from: Descan
that's pretty gay

TheBiggerFish

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Re: A Tale of Blood, Bone, and Lasagne - A horror-comedy-gore SG
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2016, 08:58:59 pm »

Uhhh...Do we have a sword?  Or a gun?  Or a girlfriend who was staying the night and might be in the bathroom?  Also, turn on the lights...
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Sigtext

It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

spümpkin

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Re: A Tale of Blood, Bone, and Lasagne - A horror-comedy-gore SG
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2016, 09:06:43 pm »

You do not have any sort of weapon, as that would be quite silly. And you momentarily fool yourself that you could get a girlfriend, but then you realise that that's a far-fetched prospect. Especially, when there's a huge gurgling sound coming from the bathroom.

You attempt to turn on the lights, but the power is out. Seems you forgot to pay the bills.

Well, not so much forgot, as 'procrastinated and didn't have the money to pay them'.

The gurgling gets louder.
Logged
Quote from: Sergarr
When in doubt, use puns.
Quote from: Calidovi
in our own special way we are all shitpost
each day, when the sun shines and greets us with a smile, at least one of us finds that inner strength to spout bullshit on a forum revolving around the systemized slaughter of midgets
dont call me a shitposter, call me a spirit one with the shitpost atman
Quote from: Descan
that's pretty gay

TheBiggerFish

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Re: A Tale of Blood, Bone, and Lasagne - A horror-comedy-gore SG
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2016, 09:07:15 pm »

Uhh...At least be a pugilist.  Please?  Umm...Investigate.
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Sigtext

It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

spümpkin

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Re: A Tale of Blood, Bone, and Lasagne - A horror-comedy-gore SG
« Reply #6 on: June 05, 2016, 09:08:59 pm »

You are too lazy to have trained in any sort of martial art, or pugilism. You are, quite frankly, a less-than-standard human male.

You investigate the bathroom, and when you open it... There is nothing, and the gurgling isn't here either. It's not even there anymore. Weird. Well, now that's solved.
Logged
Quote from: Sergarr
When in doubt, use puns.
Quote from: Calidovi
in our own special way we are all shitpost
each day, when the sun shines and greets us with a smile, at least one of us finds that inner strength to spout bullshit on a forum revolving around the systemized slaughter of midgets
dont call me a shitposter, call me a spirit one with the shitpost atman
Quote from: Descan
that's pretty gay

TheBiggerFish

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Re: A Tale of Blood, Bone, and Lasagne - A horror-comedy-gore SG
« Reply #7 on: June 05, 2016, 09:09:36 pm »

Can we, like, know SOMETHING?
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It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

spümpkin

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Re: A Tale of Blood, Bone, and Lasagne - A horror-comedy-gore SG
« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2016, 09:30:36 pm »

You seem to be completely in the dark about the events happening.

((Also, temporarily postponing this, due to my mother leaving, and me being an emotional wreck.))
Logged
Quote from: Sergarr
When in doubt, use puns.
Quote from: Calidovi
in our own special way we are all shitpost
each day, when the sun shines and greets us with a smile, at least one of us finds that inner strength to spout bullshit on a forum revolving around the systemized slaughter of midgets
dont call me a shitposter, call me a spirit one with the shitpost atman
Quote from: Descan
that's pretty gay

TheBiggerFish

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Re: A Tale of Blood, Bone, and Lasagne - A horror-comedy-gore SG
« Reply #9 on: June 05, 2016, 11:32:58 pm »

Hug the GM.  They need it.
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It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Pencil_Art

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spümpkin

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Re: A Tale of Blood, Bone, and Lasagne - A horror-comedy-gore SG
« Reply #11 on: June 05, 2016, 11:38:21 pm »

((Well, GM feels slightly better now due to happy undertale rp, so the game is un-postponed, just know, that my activity and ability to post is tumultuous, at best.))

You hug the GM. She feels appreciated, and happier.
Logged
Quote from: Sergarr
When in doubt, use puns.
Quote from: Calidovi
in our own special way we are all shitpost
each day, when the sun shines and greets us with a smile, at least one of us finds that inner strength to spout bullshit on a forum revolving around the systemized slaughter of midgets
dont call me a shitposter, call me a spirit one with the shitpost atman
Quote from: Descan
that's pretty gay

Sl4cker

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Re: A Tale of Blood, Bone, and Lasagne - A horror-comedy-gore SG
« Reply #12 on: June 05, 2016, 11:39:14 pm »

((yey))
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I mean no one wants dead whales and abortion clinics juxtaposed with each other, but it's just something that happens! Like false vacuum decay!
carrot cakeu

TheBiggerFish

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Re: A Tale of Blood, Bone, and Lasagne - A horror-comedy-gore SG
« Reply #13 on: June 06, 2016, 12:03:34 am »

More hugs for the GM.

Okay, now that we're done being meta...Can we get a bloody light on?
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Sigtext

It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

BlitzDungeoneer

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Re: A Tale of Blood, Bone, and Lasagne - A horror-comedy-gore SG
« Reply #14 on: June 06, 2016, 02:13:54 am »

Do we have any matches? Lamps? Flashlights?
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