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[origamiscienceguy]

You Can't Die: Agent 1

A familiar sound pulls you out of a light slumber. It is a rhythmic alarm (beep, beep... beep, beep...) You react instantly and put your communication device into your ear. You type in the password and listen. The robotic voice of central control begins speaking to you. "Agent 7, this is central control. Do you read? Over." You reply, "Central control, this is Agent 7. Read you 5 by 5. Over." Central control continues, "6 unidentified hostiles are breaking into the white house. We have no idea what their intentions are. You are the only agent close enough to deal with this. You are to make sure these hostiles are no longer a threat, but you must not interrupt the business in the white house. You must do this by whatever means necessary. Central control out."

You put on some clothes that would help you blend in with the typical Washington DC foot traffic, and look at your supplies to determine what you will take. You look out the window of your apartment and see the White House in all of it's glory, then open a trunk containing the following items: a silenced pistol, a grapple gun, some pills containing a deadly poison, a rocket launcher, a coiled zipline, a sniper rifle, some body armor, some carbon nano tube rope, some bungee rope, and a wad of cash. How are you planning on entering the white house, and what items should you take?
This is a storytelling game where the protagonist is a complete and utter badass. Every action you suggest will be performed flawlessly (with a few exceptions, explained in the rules), no matter how improbable or ridiculous. The story as of now has almost no plot, I will make up the plot as the story progresses based on your decisions.
Rules:
-Your suggestions can be extremely improbable and ridiculous, but not anything that is impossible for a human to do. No supernatural wizardry, or summoning, or telepathy, etc.
-Try to keep your suggestions interesting and unique. Don't use the same action over and over again, or say "kill everything." It will make it more entertaining if you are more specific and creative with your suggestions.
-Do not manipulate the environment. Instead, give suggestions for how the character can deal with the current situation. No matter what action you suggest, the character won't die.
-Don't be a troll. Suggestions like, "kill yourself." Will not be accepted.
-More rules as needed.

[MoonyTheHuman]

Try and disarm the rocket's explosive, and use the nano tube rope to grab onto it, will it fly you to the whitehouse?

[origamiscienceguy]

You disassemble the rocket launcher's explosive, leaving only the propulsion. You tie the carbon nano tube rope around the rocket, and yourself. You open the window, and ignite the rocket. It pulls you rapidly out the window and into the air above Washington DC. You cut the nano tube rope once the rocket runs out of fuel, and you glide towards the white house. Looking back on it, someone would say it was a miracle that you weren't spotted, but you planned this maneuver perfectly such that nobody would have a line of sight of you. Not even the secret servicemen lining the roof of the white house. You are at a high altitude and you have enough time to pick your landing site.

[crazyabe]

PTW

[vkiNm]

[Yes.. YES! This is good. I like this.]

Do the Hero landing on the roof of the Whitehouse, preferably behind that dome thing so we can further find a good breaching point.

[origamiscienceguy]

I think you're confusing the White house for the capitol

[vkiNm]

Hero-land behind that roof, then!

[origamiscienceguy]

You curl into a cannonball and plummet through the air, slamming onto the roof with the coolest superhero landing nobody ever saw (because you did it stealthily). Some secret service men seem like they want to investigate the sound you made. You are hidden behind a small ledge, but the only normal ways into the building from the roof are heavily guarded. Disabling some secret servicemen could be an option, but not a recommended one, as that would probably end up "interrupting the business of the white house".

[StrawBarrel]

Scale down the White House unaided (I think we left everything at the apartment). If there's an open window, enter it.

[vkiNm]

[I'm pretty sure we decided to take everything before we rocket-fly our way here.]

And just to be sure, blow some smoke at the window to see if there's any laser triggers or not. Otherwise, slide ourselves right on inside and blend into the environment.

[origamiscienceguy]

You wait patiently for investigating secret servicemen to move back to their patrolls, then you scurry from cover to cover silent as death. You reach the edge of the north side roof, and see all windows closed, but one unlatched. You scale the wall with your hands and feet until you reach that window. If anybody knew what you were doing, not only would you be dead, but the person who left the window unlocked would probably be imprisoned. However, you know that nobody will see you. The trees perfectly cover your position from any onlookers. You use your hands to slide the window open just a fraction of an inch, then you rip off thin strips of your clothes and insert it into the window rails, to keep the sensors from triggering. You then slide the windo up more and more, inserting more material until the window is open enough to slide through. You are in the map room. You close the window, and throw away the pieces of cloth that you used to prevent the sensors from triggering. Currently, you are dressed as a normal civilian. You would blend in well with any tourists, but as you decided to leave everything in your apartment, you are unarmed. Well, not exactly unarmed. Your own arms are potentially more deadly than any weapon. Right now, you must investigate the infiltrators that Central Control told you about. Unfortunately, you don't know where they are. They must have gotten in somehow. They could possibly be tourists, maitainance workers, or something else entirely. But it is clear that you need to blend in in order to investigate. So you hide in a corner until a tour comes in, then you silently join them, and leave with them. What do you do now?

[crazyabe]

Find a Janitor that preferably looks somewhat like us, Knock him unconscious, make sure his Uniform will fit us if so then take it, and Lock him in the nearest Janitor's Closet / Perfectly sized Box / Trash can.

[vkiNm]

Find a Janitor that preferably looks somewhat like us, Knock him unconscious, make sure his Uniform will fit us if so then take it, and Lock him in the nearest Janitor's Closet / Perfectly sized Box / Trash can.

Hitman style.

[origamiscienceguy]

You find a janitor who looks like he's wearing Youth extra large. Perfect. You hide in the nearest closet, then once he comes in, you quickly knock him out, tie him up, and put on his clothes. You then wheel the cart out of the closet and continue throughout the white house.

[StrawBarrel]

Find a restroom and inspect it for hostiles and cleanliness.