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[lawastooshort]

((Pancaek, yes to the spear for as long as you remember it. Sosoku, do you mean to melee the van, or put your hand inside it?))

[Sosoku234]

((Melee the van. I'm trying to open the side. I'll edit that into my action.))

[IronyOwl]

Also help check inside the cupboard. In fact, poke my head through the portal when that's what proves inside it. Surely nothing will go wrong from shoving my head inside strange glowing objects.

[lawastooshort]

Sorry, been a bit distracted by work and joining some in depth forum games by accident... I'm going to try to update on Monday. Have a lovely Sunday

[lawastooshort]

THE QUEST FOR BROMEDES… SHORTLY AFTER THE END OF THE LAST TURN

Turn 3.1

Never a bad time to try something new.

Charge up some Yogic power into my hand, as if going for a slap, but then thrust the hand into the side of the van and tear the van open.

[6] Right – the humming, glowing van, yeah?

”BoYOGAshah! BAM!”

Fisk smashes his fist right through the metal side, shattering it almost literally like ice, except bendier ice – and almost immediately his hand feels all totally weird, and as if something – no, someone! – has grabbed hold of it. Shit! Fisk yanks his hand back with yogic force, and as his arm comes out of the hole in the van, a person that is very clearly dressed as a ninja comes busting out too, holding onto his hand with great force.

The man dressed as a ninja leaves a man-dressed-as-a-ninja-shaped-and-sized hole in the metal side of the van behind him, and through the hole is clearly visible a pale red glowing almost circular… thing. It’s upright, and glowing, and faintly humming, and as Fisk sees it and begins to wonder, a second man dressed as a ninja comes flying through!

The first man dressed as a ninja shakes himself off Fisk’s hand, and shouts at Fisk, in what sounds like pretend medieval Japanese,

”地獄は何が起こっています！総統はどこにありますか？”

Both men dressed as ninjas draw swords, or what look like swords, from behind their backs and stare somewhat aggressively at Fisk.

Respectfully close Sensei's eyes, then go with Jarvis to see what's up with the cupboard. Also, did the fuzz let me keep my American spear?

Also help check inside the cupboard. In fact, poke my head through the portal when that's what proves inside it. Surely nothing will go wrong from shoving my head inside strange glowing objects.

Check what Edith's doing over there by the cupboard. There was something in there, I think?

[5] Meanwhile, Richard bends down to close Sensei’s eyes, and then walks with Jarvis over to the glowing cupboard, which Edith is looking at very carefully.

Edith opens the cupboard, and-

”HOLY CRAP DUDES! I think… I think this is a portal. It’s all like, pale green and stuff. Who could have imagined such wonders…”

Before Richard and Jarvis can stop her, she sticks her head through the portal, for that is indeed what it is, and -

”Holy crap, dude! She’s totally disappeared!”

THE QUEST FOR BROMEDES… APPARENTLY NOT A SMALL TOWN, NOR IN LATE TWENTIETH CENTURY AMERICA

Edith finds herself suddenly hurled face forward through the spacetime portal – for that is what she assumes it is, it’s behaving like all the spacetime portals she’s read about – and just as suddenly landing face forward in a really quite cold pile of snow. In fact, it’s not just the cold pile of snow that is cold: everything appears really quite unreasonably chilly, she thinks, as she lifts her head up to find visibility somewhat limited – everything beyond about 20 feet seems to just be white – and, more perturbingly – a ring of what seem to be reindeer gradually closing in on her. One of them looks like he is thoughtfully chewing some moss. They sort of moo at her. A muffled silence around them underlines the mooing, and it’s hard to tell if the mooing is hostile or not.

Spoiler: Jarvis “Teal boy” Palkin, Harry Baldman (click to show/hide)

Jarvis Palkin; Yellow Belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 3/3
Flexterity: 3/3
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Yogic Critical (crit on a 6); King Pigeon Pose (groin tank)

Spoiler: Richard “Tomato boy” Wensley, Pancaek (click to show/hide)

Richard Wensley; Yellow Belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 4/4
Flexterity: 2/2
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Peacock Pose (inflict -1 init./chance of stun); Ocean Breath (regain 2YMP)

Spoiler: Fisk “Limegreen boy” Black, Sosoku234 (click to show/hide)

Fisk Balck; Yellow Belt
Mind: 6/6
Body: 2/2
Flexterity: 1/1
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Yogic Slap (add YMP to Attack); King Pigeon Pose (groin tank)

Spoiler: Edith “Violet girl” McKenzie, IronyOwl (click to show/hide)

Edit McKenzie; Yellow Belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 3/3
Flexterity: 3/3
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Yogic Critical (Crit on a 6); Total Yogic Critical (Crit on an enemy 1)

Spoiler: note (click to show/hide)

Sorry about that chaps. I kind of got a bit busy doing work, and then joining forum games run by Dwarmin and Draignean, which is as time consuming as running a game, nearly. Got there eventually.

[Harry Baldman]

"Uh... we better go... after her?"

We had best go after her!

[Pancaek]

(("What has happened to hell/what the hell happened? Where is the führer?", am I reading that right?))

"Yes, we'd best follow her. Whatever lies behind that portal might be important for our quest. Maybe even important for nation as a whole. Maybe they'll have oil."

Go after Edith!

[Sosoku234]

((I used that dank and partially inaccurate google translate and it asked where the president is at, so I assume they're assassins sent to kill a feudal Japanese emperor, but were transported here via time/space travel.))

"Do you speak Americanese? Uh. Why you guys got them swords though?" I sputter, backpedaling away like a crawdad faced with a bobcat. If they follow me, spin and jump into a Yogic Splits at the same time to preform the Yogic Helicopter Kick^tm.

[lawastooshort]

((that's kind of sort of what I put in, yes. I should've just stuck with Irish sweary nonsense though!))

[Pancaek]

((Funny, when you just copy paste the kanji in the second sentence, you get the japanese wikipedia page for hitler.))

[IronyOwl]

Edith goes to pet the reindeer before remembering the last time she tried to tame an animal.

Instead, meditate in bendy calmness, seeking the truths of the universe or at least stalling until the reindeer start eating me and/or my friends also hurl themselves screaming through an extraplanar void.

[lawastooshort]

THE QUEST FOR BROMEDES… APPARENTLY NOT A SMALL TOWN, NOR IN LATE TWENTIETH CENTURY AMERICA

Turn 3.2

Instead, meditate in bendy calmness, seeking the truths of the universe or at least stalling until the reindeer start eating me and/or my friends also hurl themselves screaming through an extraplanar void.

[3] ”Wow. Like, the universe is, like, pretty big. Woah,” thinks Edith, finding one of the truths of the universe as she bendily meditates in what might possibly pass for calmne- ah. Nope.

The reindeer can smell my fear, so they can. Oh yes. Are they closing i- yes. Yes, they are definitely closing in. Oh crap.

Is that one –

Yes. Yes, that reindeer is definitely eyeing my foot the way I expect the average reindeer eyes a nice bit of moss. Hmm.

Edith backs away from the reindeer who looks suspiciously like it’s going to chew her foot, and bumps into a reindeer behind her. She turns, somewhat (surprisingly, if you consider it) startled, and the new reindeer licks her face.

She screams.

Go after Edith!

We had best go after her!

Just then Jarvis and Richard come tumbling through the spacetime portal and fall face down into the snow, hurriedly getting up to find Edith screaming at some uncomfortably close reindeer!

They –

Oh my god!

”OH SHIT THEY’RE EATING HER FACE ALIVE!”

Roll for initiative!
Edith: 1
Jarvis: 6
Richard: 4
Reindeer: 3

I sputter, backpedaling away like a crawdad faced with a bobcat. If they follow me, spin and jump into a Yogic Splits at the same time to perform the Yogic Helicopter Kick^tm.

"Do you speak Americanese? Uh. Why you guys got them swords though?"

” 何feckは「アメリカ語」である、あなたは、愚か者をfecking？どこで私たちの邪悪な巨匠はありますか？、死ぬことbuttmunchの準備を！”

Fisk doesn’t get halfway back to the dojo door before the pair of ninjas, both with swords drawn, are upon him! He spins to face them and leaps as he does so with a great KIYAH unexpected from such a small boy; [6+1vs4+2; 6+1vs6+2] one foot smacks the left ninja to the floor, staggered, but the second foot is blocked expertly by the ninja’s main sword.

“ハ！Arsewipe！ 死ぬための準備！”

So shouting the first ninja leaps back to his feet, and wildly performs an overhead swipe at Fisk [ 5+2vs6+1] who neatly deflects the blow with a forearm strengthened with yogic force! But whilst he is distracted the second ninja lowers his blade in an almost invisibly swift move and lunges forward! [4+2vs4+1] He catches Fisk right in the guts!

Fisk falls backwards, feeling the pain of being reduced to only 1HP quite severely.

Spoiler: Jarvis “Teal boy” Palkin, Harry Baldman (click to show/hide)

Jarvis Palkin; Yellow Belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 3/3
Flexterity: 3/3
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Yogic Critical (crit on a 6); King Pigeon Pose (groin tank)

Spoiler: Richard “Tomato boy” Wensley, Pancaek (click to show/hide)

Richard Wensley; Yellow Belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 4/4
Flexterity: 2/2
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Peacock Pose (inflict -1 init./chance of stun); Ocean Breath (regain 2YMP)

Spoiler: Fisk “Limegreen boy” Black, Sosoku234 (click to show/hide)

Fisk Balck; Yellow Belt
Mind: 6/6
Body: 1/2
Flexterity: 1/1
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Yogic Slap (add YMP to Attack); King Pigeon Pose (groin tank)

Spoiler: Edith “Violet girl” McKenzie, IronyOwl (click to show/hide)

Edit McKenzie; Yellow Belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 3/3
Flexterity: 3/3
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Yogic Critical (Crit on a 6); Total Yogic Critical (Crit on an enemy 1)

Spoiler: ninjas (click to show/hide)

1: 2/1/2
2: 2/2/2

Spoiler: note (click to show/hide)

Yeah sorry about that one. I wrote this turn probably a dozen times in my head, and it was so fun I just never bothered to actually write it in words.

Also! I realised that, although I removed permawounds from this game (as opposed to previous) because I wanted something simple and they are a pain to remember, how about – if a player is reduced to 0 HP, they get a permawound instead of just death? That way we can all enjoy one legged or one armed PCs. But then that seems cruel to do to small children. Hmm.


Also - there are a circle of reindeer - traditionally this means at least 8. Not undefeatable by yoga experts, by any means.

[Harry Baldman]

"Whoa, dude! You're right!"

Punch the reindeer's face right off!

[Sosoku234]

"WHY?!"

Assume King Pigeon Pose, while lying down.

[Pancaek]

"Reindeer, or meese, are stereotypical of Canada."

Richard puts his hands on his hips, lifting up his chin.

"Which means they're pinko scum!"

Assume the Peacock Pose! Also hum 'praise the lord and pass the ammunition', to get into that patriotic state of mind.