A SMALL TOWN IN LATE TWENTIETH CENTURY AMERICA…
Turn 1.3"Leotarded, really? You must some special kind of stupid to make puns like that. I'd say your parents must be disappointed in you, but I bet they vote democrat like the filthy communists they are. How does it feel to be a traitor to you nation, scum?"
Take up the Peacock Pose while humming The Yellow Rose of Texas.
”Bu- ya- uh – your momma votes democrat! Arrhh!!”[1] Just then Richard “The Patriot Hummer” Wensley extends one arm in slightly the wrong direction, and falls over, managing to elbow himself in the groin and hurt his knee.
He looks stunned!
His hum is interrupted by groaning!
”Haha!”Edith gulps. "Leotarded" is pretty good, but she can't back down now.
"Your face is leotarded!" she whimpers, feeling a little like throwing up.
But also like moving to space 3c and punching the Chief Bully in his leotarded face.
”Yeah, well, uh... your momma's face is leotarded! Ye-arggggg!”[6+2vs4+2: Yogic Critical Activated!] Just then Edith overcomes her fear, and punches the Chief Bully's leotarded face right in! Blood pours from his nose as he turns sideways in slow motion and crashes to the hard hard floor, totally unconscious.
[1] Edith doesn't quite manage to entirely overcome her fear though, and blushes bright pink with shame as the throws up on her defeated foe. She tries to maintain a fierce combat stance whilst searching her pockets for a hopeful tissue to wipe her mouth.
It occurs to Jarvis that he totally caved in a little boy's skull with his splits today. Can he do the same again?
Moment of truth! Boom! Bring out the Basic Splits! Smack the leftmost turdbros in their faces. Feel the yogic power! Taste the explosions!
The rest of the four bullies, shorn of their strategic numbers advantage and faced with a hideous foe who desecrates the fallen, turn demoralised to confront Jarvis, who is jogging menacingly across Space 3a towards them.
[2] [2+2vs1+1; 4+2vs4+1] He executes a perfectly adequate splits at the leftmost pair, striking one in the ear and the other in the cheek! One falls to his knee, his hands trying to stop the ringing noise, and kind of waddles at Jarvis, [1+1vs2+2] falling flat on his face as he tries to bite the Yogaka's leg; the other is made of sterner stuff and [6+1vs3+2] punches Jarvis in the eye, knocking him out cold! Luckily he's only unconscious – that wasn't the explosive start to Yogic Power he'd been hoping for!
Charge to space 3c and Yogic Slap the leader.
[6+1+2vs6+1] Seeing the Chief Bully cut down by Angry Edith, and erstwhile enemy Jarvis cut down by Angry Bully #2, Fisk hurriedly changes his action and intervenes to save Jarvis's life, filling his palm with the force of Yoga and slapping Angry Bully #2 several times back and forth across the cheeks.
"Bullying is wrong,” he advises as he slaps,
“You should instead be talking to a professional about your problems!"But Angry Bully #2's face is too imbued with Yogic Power for him to be able to hear, and he falls to the ground unconscious, and bleeding from the left cheek!
Bully #4 comes at Fisk, looking worried but realising he has perhaps the best chance he'll ever get of ascending to the position of Chief Bully. [3+1vs2+1] He punches Fisk in the chest, moderately bruising the young boy! Fisk looks pretty winded, and is therefore totally happy to see Bully #5 also try to usurp the position of Chief Bully by saving his leader from a girl.
[1+1vs2+1] But the weak-stomached and weak-willed pathetic excuse of a child comes closer, and sees the blood flowing from the Chief Bully's head, and his miserable shaken attempt at a punch doesn't even reach far enough to strike the brave Edith.
It's three vs three! The bullies' morale is all but shattered!The maps aren't going to get any better than this. This is about Yoga, not five foot steps.
Space1a Space1b Prone Ricky Space1d Space1e
Bully 1 Bully 2 Space 2c Bully 4 Bully 5
Space3a Space3b Space3c Space3d Space3e
Richard KOJarvisKO Edith Fisk Space4e
Wall Wall Door Wall Wall
Jarvis Palkin; Red Belt
Mind: 2/3
Body: 0/2
Flexterity: 2/2
Moves: Deep Breath; Basic Splits; Tree Pose; Yogic Critical
Richard Wensley; Red Belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 3/3
Flexterity: 1/1
Moves: Deep Breath; Basic Splits; Tree Pose; Peacock Pose
Fisk Balck; Red Belt
Mind: 3/4
Body: 1/2
Flexterity: 1/1
Moves: Deep Breath; Basic Splits; Tree Pose; Yogic Slap
Edit McKenzie; Red belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 2/2
Flexterity: 2/2
Moves: Deep Breath; Basic Splits; Tree Pose; Yogic Critical
Mind: 0/0
Body: 1/3; 0/3; 3/3; 3/3
Flexterity: 1/1
Green moves are mastered and will work as intended on a roll of 2-5. As hinted at previously, they are mastered by not failing them in battle.
Sosoku – apologies, it wasn't clear I guess but you need to specify how much Mind you want to put into your Yogic Slap. Here I just assumed 2 because it was convenient.
Stunned just gives -1 to initiative next turn.
OPTIONAL RULE DISCUSSION
I realised I needed a new awesome rule to reflect the traditional healing power of Yoga. Being reduced to 0HP will just be a KO, which recovers at the end of the fight OR when a fellow student expends all their Mind points in a Touch of Yogic Resurrection, which counts as a free move. -1HP will be death.
OR, did I need it? – if more people object to this silly rule than don't object, then next time someone hits 0HP they're dead, man. Simpler like that, and nicer for the waitlisters.
I don't think I want to put an actual vote on the thread though since I don't think you can get rid of them?