A YOGA DOJO IN A SMALL TOWN IN LATE TWENTIETH CENTURY AMERICA…
Turn 0eAs the roar of yogic power grows wilder and rawer, sensei shakes his head in disbelieving approval, and steps back slightly from his students, concerned at the prospect of irremovable bloodstains on his hakama. It occurs to him that the power is such that his brave students will probably all converge in a dramatic and simultaneous flying splits, apart from the americo-shamanic
Tomato boy, who is steadfastly taking refuge in patriotism.
Sensei reaches behind him for the first aid kit on the wall.
He is going to have to perform a detailed medical inspection to see which students have passed the test, it appears – or at least which students have failed it with the least severe injury. Those students shall become his disciples, and the rest shall become patients in the nearest ER, to return as soon as a disciple falls in the bloody furnace of Yogic Struggle.
All will be filled with patriotism! Continue humming and doing Deep Breath. I think humming the "Halls Of Montezuma" and "Battle Cry Of Freedom" are a good fit for the situation we find ourselves in.
[3] Ignoring the feeling of impending doom filling his frontal brainlobes,
Tomato boy continues to hum, blocking out the pain with one of his favourites, Halls of Montezuma.
”Hmm-mmm hmmmm-mmm hmm hmm hmmm-mmmmmmm…”He watches and waits, and occasionally flinches pre-emptively, and then suddenly…
SUDDENLY!
To Space Middle 5. Deploy the Basic Splits against any two within range.
[2]
Teal boy moves like the swiftest of trees between
Orange boy and
Red boy, leaping into a deft deployment of the Basic Splits just as both enemies also rise into the air themselves!
SIMULTANEOUS MULTISPLITS!
One
Teal foot flies towards
Orange boy; the other hurtles into
Red boy; joined heroically by the superflexible
Teal crotch they strike, both deadly and calm, thirsting for blood like only Yogic feet can, apart from also carnivores such as sharks or leopards or army ants.
[6+1+1vs2-1] Bam! Goes
Orange boy’s face as it is literally caved in, smashing the brain inside into orangey smithereens!
[6+1+1vs5] Smash! Goes
Red boy’s nose as it is smacked sideways and snapped in two!
Orange boy is reduced to -5HP!
Red boy is reduced to -1HP!
Teal boy is regenerated to 7HP!
”Hum hum hummmmmmmmmmmm hmm hmm hmm-mmm…” Channel Sun Wukong: break into a mad dash across the mat to middle space 1, ululating a karmic screech and leaping into the air on the ethereal wind flowing through the dojo, aiming a powerful double splits attack at limegreen boy and tomato boy, seeking to end this with a staggering blow before orange boy or teal boy can act. Make sure to do it when violet girl is watching.
[5] Knowing that the two current most important people in his life are looking on, and feeling sensei’s approval and
Violet girl’s ardent admiration,
Red boy bears the pain of a snapped nose and continues flying through the air, spinning sideways and rocketing big toes at the perfidious
Limegreen boy and the humfetishist
Tomato boy.
[4+1vs3] The first toe severs
Limegreen boy’s ear - and 180 degrees away the other toe bounces off
Tomato boy’s left eyeball! [6+1vs5+2] The power of Deep Breath protects the young yogaka from serious blindness!
Limegreen boy is reduced to 0HP!
Red boy is regenerated to 0HP!
”Hymmm hmm hmymmmumm-mmm mmmmm arggg…” Yell "BANSAI!!!!!!!!!!!" as I splits kick red boy and Violet girl.
[4] Braving the pain of becoming suddenly mono-eared,
Limegreen boy bansais through the air determined to take down both his love rival and the object of his suppressed affections. [6+1vs3]
Red boy, already badly unconscious but filled with enough Yogic force to still just about function, is struck by a sharp heel to the chin, totally knocking him out.
”Darling!” accidentally lets slip
Violet girl, dashing over to
Red boy in a display of lovestruck weakness, and getting hit in the forehead with the end of
Limegreen boy ’s foot as a reward.
[3+1vs2] She stumbles and drops to her knee, before remembering that she is involved in a simultaneous 5 way Yogic Splits-Off!
Red boy is reduced to -4HP!
Violet girl is reduced to 0HP!Limegreen boy is regenerated to 1HP!
”Hmm mmmm, mmm hmmm, mmm hmmmmm…” Splits, and attack Teal and Tomato!
[2] Not the only person beginning to find
Tomato boy’s humming mildly irritating, rather than frankly the most inspiring sound to have been produced since the first yogaka broke the sound barrier,
Orange boy goes on the simultaneous Yogic offensive, using his groinic energy to direct blows against both the
hummer and
Teal boy.
[5+1+1vs5+2]Not for the first time this simultaneous instant, a foot bounces off
Tomato boy’s impenetrable body!
[5+1+1vs5]
Teal boy is not so fortunate, and receives a toe to the mouth, knocking out one of his front teeth! He thinks that, for a moment,
Orange boy’s toenail touches the tip of his tongue.
”HMM MM MMMMMMMMM, MM MMHMMM HMMYMMMMM…” Move up to Space Middle 4 and perform The Splits at Teal Boy and Orange Boy. The aura of this place demands sacrifice, one way or another.
[3] But
Teal boy doesn’t have long (zero seconds, in fact!) to think about this, because suddenly another toe comes arrowing towards him, and a related toe comes missiling towards
Orange boy.
[6+1vs4-1]
Teal boy is knocked to the floor, in the process of which
Orange boy’s toe is dislodged from his face!
[2+1vs5-1]Unfortunately, however,
Violet girl’s other toe is blunt and ineffectual, and fails to make a mark on the strong (but let us not forget severely injured)
Orange boy.
Teal boy is reduced to 3HP!
”MMmmmm hmmm ymmmmmmm mm hmmymm mmmmmmmmmm…”Having forgotten to breathe for more than a minute,
Tomato boy keels over, the floor smacking him out of unconsciousness.
[2+1vs2]
Tomato boy is reduced to 1HP!
He hurriedly sits back up and looks around.
He is not entirely sure what just happened, but amongst the bodies lying on the dojo floor, he can see
Teal boy standing proudly;
himself sittingly hummingly;
Limegreen boy sitting leaningly like a bleeding tower of Pisa, and sensei slapping
Violet girl gently about the face to wake her up.
Red boy and
Orange boy look like they need a bit more than a gentle slap to revive them, so sensei drags them and
Green girl and
Pink girl to the side of the room, and quietly arranges an ambulance or two.
Space Top 1; Tomato boy (1/5 HP) ; Space Top 3 ; Teal boy (3/5 HP) ; Orange boy (-5/5 HP)
Space Middle 1 ; Space Middle 2 ; Space Middle 3 ; Space Middle 4 ; Space Middle 5
Limegreen boy (1/5 HP) ; Space Bottom 2; Space Bottom 3; Violet girl (0/5 HP); Red boy (-4/5 HP)
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Topic: SPACETIME YOGAQUEST - Turn 3.7 - update 16th Feb (Read 27793 times)