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[Harry Baldman]

Jarvis begins to vibrate softly.

Keep it together. Keep it together. Keep it together. KEEP IT TOGETHER. DEEP BREATH!

[Pancaek]

Stay cool, we got this. Just clutch the spear to my chest and look as bewildered as possible. I'm just a good american boy who got kidnapped by a lunatic, yes sir mister lawman.

[IronyOwl]

((Oh gosh I am so sorry. I read the turn, had no idea what to do, and forgot all about it.))

Edith gulps. Talking was not her specialty.

"Uhhhhhh...!" she called to the police as loudly as she could. "I sure am glad we're all patriots here! Right?"

She waves her flag hopefully.

Convince everyone they're on the same side! The AMERICAN side!

[lawastooshort]

A SMALL TOWN IN LATE TWENTIETH CENTURY AMERICA… APPROXIMATELY EIGHTEEN HUNDRED AND EIGHT HOURS

Turn 2.3

”STOP RIGHT THERE, BOY.”

Fisk freezes, moving millimetre by millimetre into a Yogic Defence position. He wonders if it might work against automatic gunfire. Or rather, he wonders if he’s at a high enough level of Yoga to make it work against automatic gunfire.

Richard also freezes, clutching his American spear to his chest and trying to look worried and innocent without disturbing his inner Yogic calm. He is totally full of inner Yogic calm. Oh yes. Overflowing. His voice wobbles slightly as he speaks.

”I’m… uh. I’m just a good American boy, sir! I came to investigate this communist sounding disturbance and got kidnapped by a lunatic, yessir mister sir. My daddy was a marine sir?”

"Uhhhhhh...!" interrupts Edith, "What my buddy means is, I sure am glad we're all patriots here! Right?"

Edith waves her flag Americanly.

[4] It seems to work!

“Oh, right, yes. Of course.” says one of the many cops with a megaphone. “Sorry to get you all caught up in this, little girl. What’s your name? Don’t worry now, we aren’t here for you. We had a tip off that there was some communist activity going on here… A massive communist with some dangerous communist youth elements, we were told. But you can’t be a communist with a flag like that. And your friends seem totally legit too.”

The cop beckons for the kids to move forwards and out of the firing zone.

”Come on now. You’ve got the right spirit investigating communist disturbances and carrying what weaponry you can, but this is more dangerous than playing cops and robbers, you know? Move out of the way so we can cut this fiend down in a hail of gunfire.”

Jarvis’s heart sinks. Well, vibrates. Sort of sinks and rises and sinks and rises. What the hell to do? Die in a storm of bullets whilst achieving his life’s dream of exploding things with a rocket launcher, or surrender, and probably have it taken away from him? This is going to be the worst day of this life, ever.

”Bu- I- Th- A-“

”Nice bazooka, son. I got my eldest one like that when he started high school. You too, come on, move along now. This is a bit of a situation for adults.”

Jarvis lowers his bazooka and starts to move towards the line of cars with his comrades. They look back once at Jackson Mitchell the bully.

He looks at them wide-eyed. Almost pleading.

Spoiler: Jarvis “Teal boy” Palkin, Harry Baldman (click to show/hide)

Jarvis Palkin; Red Belt And a Half
Mind: 2/3
Body: 2/2
Flexterity: 3/3
Moves: Deep Breath; Basic Splits; Tree Pose; Yogic Critical

Spoiler: Richard “Tomato boy” Wensley, Pancaek (click to show/hide)

Richard Wensley; Red Belt And a Half
Mind: 5/3
Body: 3/3
Flexterity: 2/2
Moves: Deep Breath; Basic Splits; Tree Pose; Peacock Pose

Spoiler: Fisk “Limegreen boy” Black, Sosoku234 (click to show/hide)

Fisk Balck; Red Belt And a Half
Mind: 3/5
Body: 2/2
Flexterity: 1/1
Moves: Deep Breath; Basic Splits; Tree Pose; Yogic Slap

Spoiler: Edith “Violet girl” McKenzie, IronyOwl (click to show/hide)

Edit McKenzie; Red belt And a Half
Mind: 4/3
Body: 1/2
Flexterity: 3/3
Moves: Deep Breath; Basic Splits; Tree Pose; Yogic Critical

Spoiler: note (click to show/hide)

Short interval kind of turn for an RPG type decision before the plot advancement turn. It may not require full actions.

[Harry Baldman]

Jarvis puts the bazooka down on the ground, continuing to breathe. He extends a hand toward the littlest Mitchell (by process of elimination if nothing else), eyes wide and expression terrified.

Take Jackson Mitchell along. He's suffered enough.

[Sosoku234]

"Unexpected, but welcome." I whisper under my breath.

Join the cops behind the firing line. Offer consolations to the kid.

[lawastooshort]

A SMALL TOWN IN LATE TWENTIETH CENTURY AMERICA… APPROXIMATELY EIGHTEEN HUNDRED AND EIGHT HOURS

Turn 2.4
 

Join the cops behind the firing line. Offer consolations to the kid.

Take Jackson Mitchell along. He's suffered enough.

”Come,” seems to say Jarvis’s hand, extended towards the besieged Jackson Mitchell, ”Come, leave your crazed hostage taker of a father, and your deceased mother, and your deceased beloved pet gerbil of whose fate I know nothing, come… come to safety and freedom!”

Jackson Mitchell’s faith in his father’s vision of America falters.

”Come,” continues Jarvis’s hand, ”Come, there are other gerbils out there, you know. And mysterious forces. Yogic forces.”

Jackson Mitchell puts down his guns! He walks towards the bushline, ready to hop over and escape to freedo-

”STOP RIGHT THERE, SON! I’D RATHER SHOOT YOU THEN LET YOU FALL BRAINWASHED INTO THE HANDS OF DIRTY COMMUNISTS! DON’T DO IT, SON! DO YOU WANT TO WEAR SANDALS FOREVER?”

”But… dad!”

Jackson Mitchell stumbles backwards and slowly over the edge of his garden, staring terrifiedly at his father.

”DAMMIT SON, REMEMBER THE ALAMO! REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR MOTHER! STOP!”

”No dad! No! I don’t wanna di-”

”I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU WANT, YOU STINKING COMMUNIST! YOU’RE THE REASON YOUR MOM DIED, YOU KNOW?!”

”Dad! Don’-”

”DAMN YOU! I AM YOUR FATHER, JACKSON!”

”Dad!”

Jackson Mitchell walks away from the Alamo.

A hail of gunfire rips through the gentle dusk.


Four boys and a girl walk in the darkness towards a yoga dojo on a pleasant evening.

"Well. Uh. I guess at least you didn’t see your dad get police murdered by several hundred bullets?"

Jackson Mitchell sniffles.

"He probably wasn’t even all that mutilated, I heard the cops use them clean bullets now? And it didn’t really sound like you liked him all that much anyway?"

Jackson Mitchell sounds like he’s going to start crying again.

"You know, he might not even be de-"

"Oh crap.”

The kids break into a run towards the busted open dojo door.

"Se-se-sensei??!”

The yogakas stand in the doorway, staring down at their cherished sensei, who lies before them, bleeding profusely from where his left leg used to stick to his left hip.

“The Evil Ninja took my leg, dudes. I’m bleeding to death. He… he distracted me by pretending to be a door to door Chuck Norris video salesman, and then struck… masterful…

Who knows what evil he is going to perpetrate on this plane without… a… a strong yogic force to hold him back…

The only way to save me is to hunt him down, and get my leg back, and stick it on before I bleed to death in… a few seconds. Then, perhaps, I’ll have time to tell you the secrets needed to… to save… the world…”

Sensei coughs up a bit of blood, as if to emphasise the grimness of the situation. He’s totally close to death.

“But the Evil Ninja is a time traveller, dudes. A yogic time traveller. Hard to track down. He could have gone anywhere now. He could totally be fucking up time. Only the three Yogic Originators know how to find him. Yes… So you must find them…

Hopefully they’ll… have like a Yogic Divination Stick, or something.”

"Sensei!”

“It’s okay Edith. This doesn’t have to be the end, either for me or for your Yogic journey. You know? But time presses, and I have to tell you this before I die, so that I can not die again later, or before, and so we can save the world together. Yeah… You need to find Bromedes, he’ll know what to do. He is one of the inventors of Yoga. He’s from, like, Ancient Greece and stuff. He was the first man to ever stretch backwards.”

"Er, Ancient Greece?”

“Yeah, totally. Find a Yogic Portal, and you can travel through time. Time and space. There’s one in the cupboard… maybe another one nearby that the Evil Ninja came… through… argggg…. It doesn’t like, really hurt, because I have inner yogic strength and stuff, but I can totally feel the blood leaking out… it sucks ass…”

“Should uh… we get an ambulance or something?”

“No, no time. I’ve lost more blood than three grown men put together. I’ve travelled in time too, dudes. I know I’m going to die this time round, but if you avenge me and get my leg back then I’ll totally be okay as long as you stick it back on. Here, take this secret instruction comic. It’s full of Yogic moves you might need as you grow in power… I’m sorry I can’t teach you them myself… If you get my leg back I’ll sort you out a refund ‘cos it’s kind of crappy tuition… I’m sorry…”

"Sensei!”

“I’m sorry Edith. I’m sorry boys. I let my love of Chuck Norris videos blind me… Hey, you know, this is important. Come closer…”

The kids gather round. The mourning Jackson Mitchell stops his over-emotional mourning and gathers round too.

“Take a yellow belt each from the drawer… I’m…”

“I’m… the…”

“…”

"The what, dude?”

“…”

Spoiler: Jarvis “Teal boy” Palkin, Harry Baldman (click to show/hide)

Jarvis Palkin; Yellow Belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 2/2
Flexterity: 3/3
Moves: Deep Breath; Basic Splits; Tree Pose; Yogic Critical

Spoiler: Richard “Tomato boy” Wensley, Pancaek (click to show/hide)

Richard Wensley; Yellow Belt
Mind: 5/3
Body: 3/3
Flexterity: 2/2
Moves: Deep Breath; Basic Splits; Tree Pose; Peacock Pose

Spoiler: Fisk “Limegreen boy” Black, Sosoku234 (click to show/hide)

Fisk Balck; Yellow Belt
Mind: 5/5
Body: 2/2
Flexterity: 1/1
Moves: Deep Breath; Basic Splits; Tree Pose; Yogic Slap

Spoiler: Edith “Violet girl” McKenzie, IronyOwl (click to show/hide)

Edit McKenzie; Yellow Belt
Mind: 4/3
Body: 2/2
Flexterity: 3/3
Moves: Deep Breath; Basic Splits; Tree Pose; Yogic Critical

Spoiler: note (click to show/hide)

Mission Accomplished! When you have emotionally recovered, please choose to assign a stat point! Please also choose which area of yoga you would like to check out in the instruction comic manual and read over it a bit that is to say go here and totally choose another move. Choose wisely. And also choose once it’s updated with YELLOW Belt moves.

Also sorry for not waiting for all actions to be posted, but it wasn't really required this time.

[Harry Baldman]

"Uh..."

Jarvis pokes at the Sensei, feeling 50% more robust as he is filled with uncommon resolve.

"... uh..."

+1 Body!

And consult the manual. Does the Ashtanga Yoga book say anything about this under Yellow? That King Pigeon Pose is looking pretty sweet, I guess.

[Sosoku234]

"He's the Last of the Great Yogic Sensei. The Student of the Masters. The Great Time Travelers. He was... OUR SENSEI! We need to go."

Close sensei's eyes and take the new yoga belt. Begin out the door.

+1 to mind. Learn King Pigeon Pose.

[IronyOwl]

((Oh snap, I didn't think you were serious about the time travel.))

"Oh no, I should have realized he wasn't long for this world once he became a wizened mentor."

+1 Body, Total Yogic Critical!

[Pancaek]

Richard bows his head deeply.

"He died a true patriot. He's off to a better place now, hunting communist bears with Teddy Roosevelt."

+1 body. learn Ocean Breath.

[lawastooshort]

THE QUEST FOR BROMEDES… SHORTLY AFTER THE END OF THE LAST TURN

Turn 3.0

"Oh no, I should have realized he wasn't long for this world once he became a wizened mentor."

Bowing his head, Richard expresses the grief that everyone is feeling.

"He died a true patriot. He's off to a better place now, hunting communist bears with Teddy Roosevelt."

"Uh..."

In keeping with the mood, Jarvis tastefully pokes Sensei with his foot, the overwhelming emotion of the event increasing not just his Yogic but his general physical prowess.

"... uh..."

"He's the Last of the Great Yogic Sensei. The Student of the Masters. The Great Time Travelers. He was... OUR SENSEI! We need to go."

"... uh."

Indeed – the kids do need to go, but where? Where could the Bad Ninja have gone? And did he take Sensei’s leg with him? Filled with new-found extrapower, Fisk walks out the door where, oddly enough, the world looks the same as it did not long before. There is no widespread general panic at the thought of everybody suddenly being vulnerable to the hidden danger from which Sensei’s leg was apparently protecting them. Hmm.

Wait – was that van in the corner of the parking lot before? And what did Sensei say about the cupboard in the dojo?

Fisk creeps up to the van.

A fizzing, faintly humming kind of glow seems to be coming from it.

Back in the dojo, the sensible Edith creeps up to the cupboard.

A fizzing, faintly humming kind of glow seems to be coming from it.

Spoiler: Jarvis “Teal boy” Palkin, Harry Baldman (click to show/hide)

Jarvis Palkin; Yellow Belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 3/3
Flexterity: 3/3
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Yogic Critical (crit on a 6); King Pigeon Pose (groin tank)

Spoiler: Richard “Tomato boy” Wensley, Pancaek (click to show/hide)

Richard Wensley; Yellow Belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 4/4
Flexterity: 2/2
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Peacock Pose (inflict -1 init./chance of stun); Ocean Breath (regain 2YMP)

Spoiler: Fisk “Limegreen boy” Black, Sosoku234 (click to show/hide)

Fisk Black; Yellow Belt
Mind: 6/6
Body: 2/2
Flexterity: 1/1
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Yogic Slap (add YMP to Attack); King Pigeon Pose (groin tank)

Spoiler: Edith “Violet girl” McKenzie, IronyOwl (click to show/hide)

Edit McKenzie; Yellow Belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 3/3
Flexterity: 3/3
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Yogic Critical (Crit on a 6); Total Yogic Critical (Crit on an enemy 1)

Spoiler: note (click to show/hide)

((Oh snap, I didn't think you were serious about the time travel.))

I tried to think of something witty to say to this, but couldn’t. I have very literal game titles. Although I can understand the misunderstanding that could lead to believing I would just throw the words SPACETIME and QUEST at any random noun to make a run of the mill game sound exciting (try it – I’ve just come up with four amazing game ideas).

Combining moves: You can combine moves, if you want to / if you want to be yogicly awesome, but even free moves will cost a YMP to combine, and I will roll a rtd to see if you get a 1 or a 6. Or you could add a combo to your repertoire on levelling up, if you wanted and I was convinced (I am easily convinced when things are excellent). For example, due to a misunderstanding, I offered Sosoku234 the Double Yogic Slap as a move to learn as an upgrade to the mere Single Yogic Slap. This would basically be a dual wield Yogic Slap with no to hit penalty.

Sort of passive moves like the Criticals automatically combo with things, so for example if Edith does a Basic Splits at two enemies, she could Critical Critical them both in the face. Or for example a Double Yogic Critical Slap Splits could be attempted (and applauded).

This whole system is clearly going to get so monstrously complicated (and unbalanced) and awesome that I will get things wrong. I will try to remember to triple check things if anything leads to player death!

Also HB I’m a bit disappointed you put that bazooka down. There are no “explode with your mind” moves available at Yellow Belt, unfortunately for Jarvis.

Ooh! As a new feature, I put a very short description of moves in the character spoilers.

[Harry Baldman]

Check what Edith's doing over there by the cupboard. There was something in there, I think?

[Sosoku234]

Never a bad time to try something new.

Charge up some Yogic power into my hand, as if going for a slap, but then thrust the hand into the side of the van and tear the van open.

[Pancaek]

Respectfully close Sensei's eyes, then go with Jarvis to see what's up with the cupboard. Also, did the fuzz let me keep my American spear?