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[AbstractTraitorHero]

She looks at you coldly at that comment and in a slightly angry tone.
"Do not speak ill of him."

[Dustan Hache]

"No, Unless you count being my drinking buddy. Also, my name is Drubjarred, Not Midget. You call me that again and I will throw thi- No, this chair is too good. I will throw my sword at you so hard that even though the hilt was what struck you, you'll have a stab wound protruding from your gut where it struck!"

[Yoink]

Entirely ignoring Laura, Pyotr responds evenly to the dwarf. 
"I never called you a midget, as I recall I called you a half-midget. And you should count yourself lucky that you threaten me in here, had you said such to me on the street I'd gut you like a fish," he says,  his voice becoming something of a snarl towards the end there, even as he measures the distance to the nearest door with his eyes.

It belatedly occurs to him that threats of violence might not be very chamberlain-like, but he isn't overly worried.
'Plenty of reason to get my hackles up, after all,' he figures.

[AbstractTraitorHero]

"so nice outfit where did you get it?

[inaluct]

Perhaps it was some kind of cosmic law, or perhaps Pyotr was being influenced by the intangible presence of his dead "relative", but whatever the case he decided to make the most of the scene with a dramatic entrance.

Burst back into the room to the tune of... whatever that is! It just feels like the right thing to do.

After standing silently in my dramatic entrance post for an awkward moment of indeterminate length, give an embarrassed cough, return quietly to my seat and rub my face in an attempt to clear my head. Then resume listening to the conversation.        

[6] Dramatic entrance.

Clap.

[4] Clap.

Drubjarred would scowl at Pyotr, Having been reminded of the nobles back at Routedmansions. He wondered what fate would take them, or if they would burrow into the house and stay there for the rest of their miserable life. He would also voice his opinion accordingly.
"You look like one of those preening idiot Nobles from what used to be my old fortress. They got turned into vampires, and when the rest of the populace found out.."
A particularly nasty grin would start to form. As if it wasn't clue enough.

Pyotr Alameus III takes a deep breath, steels himself, and flings open the door, stepping into the room. His presence is regal and composed, aristocratic but without a flourish. He wears clothing of a somewhat less than avante garde character; bright and expensive, but more at home in the far flung hall of a warrior lord than at a court. His clothing is colorful, but it does not hang foppishly from his frame. His sword hand strong and his face that of a hardened warrior accustomed to countless nights staring up at a vault of stars, Pyotr Alameus stands in the doorway like a man of iron, a grim and resolute figure with a rueful visage who has found himself out of battle and away from mortal danger, a feeling he is not accustomed to. He is the spitting image of a dangerous, daring adventurer. Laura breaks into a burst of frenzied clapping.

It is almost inconceivable that such a hard, daring man could ever find himself a chamberlain. Therefor, it seems fitting that he would have been called here.

Phineas Cladoc sits in stunned silence as the conversation described in the several posts above takes place.

[Yoink]

Spoiler: OOC (click to show/hide)

Hahaha oh goodness, I laughed. That was brilliant.

Damnit Phineas, you were supposed to defuse the situation!

Return to my seat with as much of an adventurer's swagger as I can muster.
Await further explanation of the situation as I further peruse the will. Sign it if that's expected of me.

Oh, and be ready to dive for cover if the dwarf attacks me or something.   

[Dustan Hache]

Entirely ignoring Laura, Pyotr responds evenly to the dwarf. 
"I never called you a midget, as I recall I called you a half-midget. And you should count yourself lucky that you threaten me in here, had you said such to me on the street I'd gut you like a fish," he says,  his voice becoming something of a snarl towards the end there, even as he measures the distance to the nearest door with his eyes.

It belatedly occurs to him that threats of violence might not be very chamberlain-like, but he isn't overly worried.
'Plenty of reason to get my hackles up, after all,' he figures.

"Then how about we take this outside and see just how long you last against the legendary silver of life! I've killed my fair share of beasts, and a scrawny excuse for a goblin babysnatcher like you doesn't scare me in the slightest!"
he would challenge the overly brave/stupid chamberlain to a duel!

[ATHATH]

Entirely ignoring Laura, Pyotr responds evenly to the dwarf. 
"I never called you a midget, as I recall I called you a half-midget. And you should count yourself lucky that you threaten me in here, had you said such to me on the street I'd gut you like a fish," he says,  his voice becoming something of a snarl towards the end there, even as he measures the distance to the nearest door with his eyes.

It belatedly occurs to him that threats of violence might not be very chamberlain-like, but he isn't overly worried.
'Plenty of reason to get my hackles up, after all,' he figures.

"Then how about we take this outside and see just how long you last against the legendary silver of life! I've killed my fair share of beasts, and a scrawny excuse for a goblin babysnatcher like you doesn't scare me in the slightest!"
he would challenge the overly brave/stupid chamberlain to a duel!

Yes, my children... Fight each other so that the waitlisters can leave the void and enter your world...

[Nakéen]

Yes, my children... Fight each other so that the waitlisters can leave the void and enter your world...

The voices from the Abyss are calling.

[Yoink]

Pyotr scoffs at the dwarf, leaning lazily back in his chair and doing his best to appear entirely unconcerned.
"Certainly, if you are so eager to die I could help you with that. After this meeting is over and done with, of course. If I killed every small man with a big mouth who crossed my path, the streets would be slick with blood and I would have precious little spare time to get any actual work done. Come to think of it, I still haven't received an answer for my question- just what are you doing here, anyway?"

One eyebrow raised (and looking somewhat smug), he glances between the unknown dwarf and the others at the table, awaiting an explanation.

[AbstractTraitorHero]

She raises an eyebrow and in a dead serious voice looking absolutely  furious.
"He was a childhood friend and my best friend and we wrote letters back to each other constantly over the years I'm  amazed some of you guys are here a few of you seem like you barely knew him and  now at the place of his will reading and signing  your threatening each other and acting like idiots.If you weren't in the will I'd have killed most of you myself after taking you outside of course you should all be ashamed of yourself."

[Dustan Hache]

Pyotr scoffs at the dwarf, leaning lazily back in his chair and doing his best to appear entirely unconcerned.
"Certainly, if you are so eager to die I could help you with that. After this meeting is over and done with, of course. If I killed every small man with a big mouth who crossed my path, the streets would be slick with blood and I would have precious little spare time to get any actual work done. Come to think of it, I still haven't received an answer for my question- just what are you doing here, anyway?"

One eyebrow raised (and looking somewhat smug), he glances between the unknown dwarf and the others at the table, awaiting an explanation.

The furious Drubjarred would storm up to Pyotr and try to grab them by the collar of their outfit before dragging them to the door. Apparently this dwarf has a short temper when it comes to nobles.
"I'll give you such a thrashing you won't even be moving for a week!"

[inaluct]

Pyotr swaggers in and signs the contract, taking a seat.

The argument breaks out and Phineas sits aghast, looking back and forth between the inexplicably daring, adventurous looking chamberlain, the suddenly belligerent but seemingly sober dwarf, Laura, and the robed alchemist who seems to have fallen asleep leaning back on a chair. They bicker back and forth, exchanging insults, and then the threat of a duel. Phineas makes a sort of choked sound from his throat, the sound of a man who desperately wishes to intervene in an incredibly awkward situation but cannot seem to find the words to do it.

The tense situation escalates. Voices get louder, gesticulations more animated. All of a sudden, it comes to a head as, simultaneously, the dwarf paces across the room to grab the chamberlain-adventurer and Laura breaks into a completely deadpan stream of consciousness, speaking loudly to be heard. She recites a litany of bizarre claims all strung together ranging from being the childhood friend of a man a good fifty years her senior to having been his best friend in spite of them meeting only five years ago and corresponding almost entirely through letters. It's like Waiting For Godot in miniature as she speaks in a deadpanned uninflected stream while the dwarf lunges to seize the adventurer's collar [5 vs 1] and yanks him forward. The chamberlain topples into the dwarf, soundly smacking his chin into the small drunkard's pate and howling with pain and outrage. Laura babbles as they dance and twist in an awkward grapple towards the door.

It is as if Phineas Cladoc awoke this morning only to step into a surreal nightmare world populated by inexplicable clowns who cannot have come from his own.

"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP, IMMEDIATELY!" Phineas jerks to his feet, lets out a noise somewhere between a grunt and a shriek, and [5] flips the enormous room-spanning table on it's side. The floor shakes and an entire row of chairs (plus Laura and Falvar) scatters, crashing against the wall. "Just BE QUIET! SIT DOWN AND COOPERATE LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE!" he bellows, with a surprising amount of bass for a man his size. He walks over to where Drubjarred and Phineas are wiggling just before the threshold of the door and grabs both of them, [6] yanking back hard. The flopping ne'er-do-wells fly into him and the three of them end up sprawled on the floor with a decent distance between them.

At this point, Drubjarred, Phineas, and Pyotr are lying on the floor in front of the door. Laura is [5] standing near the tipped over table, having narrowly managed to dodge out of her chair and escape any harm, and Falvar is [1] not actually visible to the casual observer, because he is unconscious and buried under a pile of chairs. Pyotr's jaw hurts and he bit a small hole in his tongue.

[Dustan Hache]

Drubjarred, having been toppled over by an upset Phineas, would take a couple of deep breaths before attempting to right himself. He would then assist in righting Phineas, but leave Pyotr to get up on his own.

[AbstractTraitorHero]

...wait he's my childhood  friend but I'm not his i used that wrong....ugh my teachers  would be screaming in rage at me.
She sighs leaning agasint the wall.