We're still at Ag Center, and unlike last time we remain unchanged. And so is the rest of the world, so let's go change it, eh?
The trek north to the Rail Nomads is uneventful and uninteresting besides the eerie lack of Beanie Burglars. They must be preparing for something.
Whatever that plot be, it is a less pressing matter than us having come upon...
"...the rail-nomads' camp. Ornery looking longhorn cattle wander among dusty tents, from which sullen faces peer. In the background, a ramshackle collection of railroad cars, patched with wood, hide, and an odd piece of corrugated aluminum, sits on a rail siding. Two of the cars, the locomotive at the front and the caboose at the rear, appear to be in better condition than the others. As you approach, a strained silence fails (sic) over the camp and you grow uncomfortable under the collective gaze of the assembled nomads. (Uncomfortable because they are just mutant enough to be a good source of protein, but just human enough that people will look at your choice of sustenance funny.) Finally, one of the nomads steps forward. "Welcome, Rangers. I am the Brakeman of this train. I would be honored if you would visit with me in the caboose (I'll leave this easily seen opportunity to you, take it or don't.) before leaving our camp. In the meantime, please accept our hospitality." The Brakeman turns and strides back into the camp."
That might be a tempting opportunity, but this tiny man demands our attention.
"As you pass the open doorway of this car you are almost overcome by the strong odor of fermented cactus fruit. As your eyes become accustomed to the darkness of the car you can make out a straw-covered floor littered with numerous bottle of Dr. B. Bilious Balfour's Snake Squeezins. At the back of the car lolls a rotund Bearded figure rocking back and forth as if the mere act 01 (sic) sitting offered a difficult feat of balance. Finally, seeming to take notice of you, the shadowy figure issues an invitation: "Welcome to my humble abode, gentlefolk. Step on in."
Unable to resist his miniature charms, we step in as predicted.
"Enter and be enlightened ...HIC... and amazed by the wisdom of the Hobo! HIC ... SNORT... The Hobo beams at you blearily. "Good people, I would like nothing better than to speak to you of things spiritual, but alas I seem to have run short of the ambrosia which inspires my visions!" To demonstrate, the Hobo upends an empty bottle of snake squeezins."
"The hobo looks at you expectantly..."
We neither have the ability to pay him or need his services, so we visit the caboose as we are expected to.
"The Brakeman meets you at the door of the caboose. He thanks you for heeding his invitation, and he has something for you to deliver to the Head Crusher in Quartz."
"He asks if you will deliver the message?" The game is unsure as to the current events, but I'm not so YES we will deliver.
"The Brakeman tells you, "Take this visa card and give it to Head Crusher in Quartz." As the Brakeman passes you the card, the sunlight catches the dove hologram and glints brightly. You slide it into your breast pocket as he turns and leaves without another word."
While that might seem to be more immediately concerning, I assure you that investigating the "Empty Tent Storage Carts" and Trading Car is a more pressing matter.
This familiar face has the parts Highpool needs, but it costs $500 which we don't have so I just buy everyone a sledgehammer as recompense for the damaging disappointment.
The car to the west of the Trading Car is a gambling place which is a good place to lose money (like I did when I visited it) but very little else, and the places to the south require some sort of passcode to enter so they don't help either. Which leaves us with nothing else to do but talk to the Engineer, which we do.
"As you board the locomotive you are met by a short, but solid looking fellow. He is dressed in garishly striped overalls and wears a rather battered and much patched engineer's cap. "Greetings, I am the Engineer of this train." The Engineer makes a sweeping gesture that encompasses the entire camp. "I hope your stay with us will be a pleasant one."
"The engineer smiles and asks how he may be of assistance."
Why don't we have a little chat.
"We have three clans here: the Atchisons, the Topekas, and the Sante Fes. You may acquire provisions for your party at our trading car or amuse yourselves in the casino car. You may, of course, avail yourselves of the services of our Hobo oracle. I am told that you have already met our Brakeman." At the mention of the Brakeman a brief scowl crosses the Engineer's face, but his smile quickly returns and he adds, "We feel safer with Rangers here, so stay as long as you like!"
How about that Brakeman, eh?
"The engineer looks unhappy.
"Unfortunately, we have been burdened by a fool for a Brakeman. He insists on dabbling in arcane matters. He actually suggested that we use an engine instead of cattle to pull the train. The idiot will bring the wrath of the gods down upon us yet!"
And the visa card?
"The Head Crusher likes visa cards." The man smiles. "He slathers peanut butter on them and eats them." He shakes his head. "Weird, but then, most everything is weird out here - present company excepted, of course." Keep up with that attitude, mutant, you might even earn yourself a spot on the dessert table.
Let's start involving ourselves a bit in the local politics with a couple small questions, beginning with the Sante Fe.
"The Sante Fe are the poorest of the clans, but are generally honest folk."
What about the Atchisons?
"The Engineer smiles. "The Atchisons," he says, "are a trustworthy and hard working lot. I myself am an Atchison. The Brakeman is too, but I suspect he has some Topekan on his Mother's side."
The Topekans have little good about them I would assume?
"The engineer shakes his head. "The Topekan clan is rich and powerful. I hesitate to speak against one of our own clans, but I wouldn't trust 'em as far as you could throw 'em."
What's the deal with the Hobo?
"We are particularly blessed with out Hobo," says the Engineer. "Not only does he bring much luck and spiritual blessing but he is a renowned oracle and many come from far away to hear his words. Sadly we lost our last hobo when, befuddled by a divine vision, he fell from his car in Needles."
Tragic, so tragic in fact that we leave to Quartz, unable to look at rail cars any longer.
On the way there we somehow manage to fall into this river. Suffice it to say with our swimming skill, we flee quickly.
Entering Quartz we see this. Looks like a friendly place. Of all the places we can go, Scott's Bar seems the most promising.
"Scott's Bar is noisy and smoky with many people and tables. To the west is the bar. To the east is a low stage."
East sounds like the way to go then.
"A pretty barmaid speeds by. (That's a bit of a redundant adjective, don't you think? This is a RPG vaguely related to Bard's Tale after all.) Her nametage says: "Hi, I'm Ellen!" She only stands still near the bar." If I were to have a daughter her name would likely be Ellen as I like the name, with that fact in mind let's continue on our journey to the opposite side of the bar.
We get interrupted by passing chatter, and how can we ignore that?
"The locals at this table are talking among themselves. They stop, staring at you until you move away."
"You overheard enough to realize the townspeople are concerned about the mayor and other hostages held by the gang."
Seems like getting to the Head Crusher is going to be a more excruciating task than expected. Unfortunate, but not unexpected. Maybe the entertainment will be less unfortunate.
"Several shapely dancers prance out onto the stage." So shapely in fact that our eyes have to censor their existence and all we see is floating clothes on the stage.
Having seen the underwhelming entertainment, we walk around the stage and are told
"Don't touch that dial; we want to hear Ratt again!" The thugs by the jukebox draw blades and attack." These New Wavers believe in preemptive strikes, unfortunately for all of their loved ones.
Brotherman sends the leader of the Punks flying, the rafters strike the finishing blow.
Rob crushes a generic punk's ribcage, and A Thing's blow sends the other punk's headgear into its rocking skull, at least his death was as metal as his life.
Rob then bashes the sole punk and it simply collapses.
We rifle through the corpses claiming our reward of: 47 cash, 4 knives, and a message
"You notice something written on the dead carcass."
"The words are: Gen Quart Thana Toes."
"You get a flash of insight: their general HQ, probably a hideout, uses a password THANATOS."
Investigating the various empty tables south of the dead punks we see more curious things on the various tabletops such as: "UQTU" spelled out in liquid from a spilled drink, and graffiti saying "DRINK." Another bit of graffiti says the oddly helpful statement of "Check out the Head Crusher in the back corner." Having read that convenient bit of graffiti we should probably act upon it and get out of this place.
"There is a picture of a man painted on this door." Head Crusher? This looks like the right place.
"A man walking out gives the females (Sorry Yoink, the game said it, not me.) among you a funny look."
"You see two figures struggling in the corner. One turns and pulls a pistol. "Get out", he snarls." Weird office this Head Crusher has, and such rude guards too! Let's teach these mutants some manners.
Rob gives him a fatal dunk, what a way to go. Time to speak to Head Crusher.
"A teenage boy is collapsed in the corner with his head in his arms. "Don't kill me!" he cries. "I'll tell you anything!"
"You show him you mean no harm. He is (not Head Crusher) shaken but will answer questions if he can."
Let's start this the proper way, that is, with a CHAT.
"Have you heard about Ugly's gang at the courthouse? Talk to the riddler north of the bar."
Who is this riddler?
"That old coot sure has weird riddles! Laurie copied the right answer on one of the tabletops." Think we know the answer then, how nice.
What was that about Laurie?
He tells us about the gang again. Laurie must be a sore subject.
Fine, who is Ugly? Besides 3/4 of this party.
"The kid spits, "That leather-wrapped monosynaptic bully! He tried to pick up my sister Laurie!" Good thing she is big-boned then, eh?
This self-appointed courthouse anything special?
"Everyone in town knows where they are keeping the mayor. The courthouse is on Quail Trail?"
Quail Trail? Is that a cereal or a road?
We get no answer besides his stock line about Ugly. Must really hate Quail or something.
The mayor is missing?
He, again, gives us a useless answer.
Anything more on this originally named gang?
"These freaks are all over Quartz. Lots of them are at the Courthouse, and more on Devastation Row."
Having drained him of any useful knowledge, we pick up the stray M1911 and 45. clip off of the dead outlaw.
Since that bathroom was a bastion of information, how about we try the ladies room?
"A well-muscled woman stops you at the door. "There are ladies inside, gents. Use your own."
Looks like Rob is going to have to go in alone. I can't see anything bad coming from her 5 charisma.
"By the sinks are two women who stopped talking when you entered. One lady has been crying."
According to the guide we could use confidence or charisma here, but IQ works just as well. If this is a common occurrence then charisma is even more useless than I thought.
"You say something that instantly charms these two, (The writers can't be bothered to think something up however, so your going to have to make your own charming quips.) and they smile. "Maybe you can help us?" they say."
"Everyone is worried about Mayor Pedros but others are held hostage too. Felicia Pedros, his wife, is our friend. We think she has been moved to the outlaw hideout. We hope you will try to rescue her. And remember what Ellen said when you go to the Stagecoach Inn." They smile and leave." All of that sounds suspiciously like we've gotten ourselves into a favor, oh well, we were going to kill all of the outlaws anyway.
Going further southeast in a hope-filled attempt to finally find Head Crusher we are instead greeted by... "A gunsel stepping from the shadows, snapping, "We have a private game here. You are not invited!"
Brotherman snaps back and the gunsel stumbles back into the corner, lifeless.
Having had a decent sense of style, A Thing pulls the gunsel's jacket over his existing clothes. The remaining gun and clips go to Jackie.
Having seen what just happened "The card players stop their game and grab guns. One carries a rifle!"
The rifleman doesn't seem to be confident in his ability to aim at targets 30 feet away, so he decides to posture while the rangers advance.
With the rangers being a bit closer, the outlaws and riflemen take out both A Thing and Jackie in a effective flurry.
Yoink is temporarily taken down, inspiring Rob to crush a guard under the weight of his recently deceased comrade. All the while Brotherman makes a moderately successful assault on the Ozoner, but fails to end him.
The next round features Yoink and Jackie getting closelined while Brotherman crunches the brittle bones of the Ozoner. Rob takes a brief break as Brotherman took her only favorable opportunity.
Combat ends with Yoink dodging bullets while unconscious, A Thing waking up and killing the first thing he sees and grievously wounding the other thing he sees. That same thing is then swiftly put out of its misery by Rob.
The loot of 300 dollars is offered to Brotherman and the pistols are given out to be sold later. With that done, we finally start heading to the corner the Head Crusher is hiding out in.
But just as we pass the bathrooms, two thugs turn the corner with pistols raised! They aren't made of stronger stuff than the last ones and go down much the same despite of their good sense of dramatic timing.
As seen here, we finally meet Head Crusher who "invites us to sit down." Sitting down in this town involves applying the visa card onto the chair despite what common sense might dictate.
After participating in the local rituals Head Crusher says to us, "Thank you. Go to the Atchison's tent and tell them CATERPILLAR."
"Sitting here is a mean looking wrestler-like thug, smiling vacuously as he drinks from an dirty glass. Want to pick a topic?"
We sure do, the topic of CHAT.
"Seen the dancer yet? You don't think I look mutant, do you?"
What dancer?
"You like the Mutie Cuties? One of them is a terrible flirt. She gets people in trouble."
With that amazing revelation having occurred we leave for greener pastures, such as the bar.
And immediately we decide to "push in close and get shoved in the shoulder. "Watch where you push, boychik!"
"Chill out," you say." At the very least it is what Brotherman says, because what else would he say?
They don't like that answer and try to pummel Brotherman, it doesn't work out.
Rob takes out two with some conveniently placed and poorly crafted bottles as the rest of the party scrambles for deadly implements but fails to find any.
While the party continues to fail, Rob continues on her killing spree and breaks open a punk's esophagus with the sharp edge of the bar, sending blood everywhere.
Brotherman shoves a complimentary peanut down the Pink-haired Pundit. The various bacteria that has accumulated over the century causes his stomach to rupture, ending his life in a way no man's should. Yoink swings one of the bar-stools at another Counterculture Culprit and sends his body flying straight into the deep fry.
With the last attacker dazed from what happened, Rob takes the opportunity to jam the abomination known as the spork into his spine; ending the combat.
Somehow those random jerks managed to get 60 dollars. It's in much better hands now.
With the various suggestions to talk to Ellen, and our party unable to fit into the stools, Brotherman splits off from the party to do what they can't do for arcane reasons. And, of course, Ellen herself isn't anywhere to be found, but the titular Scott is!
"The barkeep wipes up a spill. "How-do Ranger
s! I'm Scott; this is my place."
Bring thine info unto me, Scott of Quartz.
"Info costs, too:"
The dancer digest only cost $1, so we might as well pick it up.
"You like the Mutie Cuties?" (Now I understand why it cost $1.) No, we don't like the Mutie Cuties don't even continue, you con.
How about the Rangers Reader? Maybe it isn't a complete rip-off.
"A guy name Ace is looking for a few good fighters to go back to Vegas with him. Something nasty is going on there."
Sounds like something worth noting or even acting upon, you know, if it weren't for the fact we still have most of the southern areas of Arizona to explore.
How about a chat? Or does that cost money too?
"I wish I had time to chat!" moans Scott. "You may have better luck elsewhere in the bar, though."
I'm happy that you continue to be a beacon of mediocre information and bad prices, enjoy your cleaning.
"Scott shrugs at you and continues cleaning."
Brotherman continues his quest to find Ellen, and succeeds at this formidable task.
"The barmaid Ellen is harried. "You got something to say to me?"
she asks brusquely."
Yes, the evocative words of...
...chat."Gwaan! (You n'wah!) I have no time to yak with yahoos like you!"
Tell me about the Inn.
"I cannot waste time with your foolishness", she glares and hurries to another table."
One step east, one step west, annnnnd she's back!
Password please?
Nope, she has no time for our passwords. Before we leave the bar, let's see if that riddler knows anything of value.
While Brotherman returns to the party a singular Ghoulish Gangsters gets the bright idea of ambushing him, he doesn't last long.
"You see an old man sitting here looking glum. "Buy me a drink, kiddo?" he asks."
Sure, why not?
"The old codger smiles a gap-toothed grin. "Thank ye kindly!" he says."
Despite what he might want, that's all he gets as he is no riddler.
"The old man takes the refusal apathetically."
Now, without further ado say hello to... the Riddler!
"An impish oldster grins as you come up. He says, "You look bright. Any good at riddles? Answer right, be rewarded!"
"His eyes twinkle. "Buy me a drink, bucko. Riddles are thirsty work!"
Take the drink and get on with it already you wrinkled cadaver!
"What is often eaten for breakfast, sometimes eaten at lunch, but usually drunk only at dinner?"
Grapes?
"The old man grins, showing yellow teeth. "Nice try, he says, but no cigar."
"So you will have another riddle. First, buy me another drink, okay?"
We're going to lose all of our money through this, but how could we admit defeat to a riddler?
"What is found in the center of both America and Australia?"
That's for you to decide viewers, because I don't know and I'm not looking it up. Next update will probably be on Thursday or Friday, brainstorm until then.
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Topic: Let's Play Wasteland & Wasteland 2 Part 17: Aced? Aced. (Read 23944 times)