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Author Topic: The worst artifact ever  (Read 18221 times)

LegoLord

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #150 on: October 11, 2008, 07:41:20 am »

My worst artifact was a perfect prase opal, or something spelled sorta like that.  It menaced with spikes of itself.  The dwarf was possessed too, so I didn't even get a legendary gem cutter  :(

Just imagine if you'd gotten that AFTER magic was implemented.

When was magic put in?
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Danaru

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #151 on: October 21, 2008, 05:28:09 pm »



look at this, the game is too embarrassed to tell me how much it's worth. and it was a possessed potash maker.

Thankfully I saw this coming, and both this abomination and the creator are trapped in my soon-to-be magma moat.
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Zeg

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #152 on: October 21, 2008, 07:48:00 pm »

I think this dwarf wants to be cremated:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And just to make it even worse this is a map without any coal viens, I had to import all that.
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flabort

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #153 on: October 22, 2008, 02:02:56 pm »

my only artifact so far was a lead helmet menacing with spikes of lead and encircled with bands of lead. it had a picture of a dwarf and a dwarf's head in tiger eye. the head was beside the dwarf. i asume the head was his own.
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Ririka

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #154 on: October 29, 2008, 03:21:06 pm »

IT HAPPENED AGAIN!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The game hates me.
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John Johnston

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #155 on: October 29, 2008, 03:59:46 pm »

This just in, the single most valuable artifact my dwarves have ever created in any fortress:

"Stelmithenseb, The Tressed Bases, an HFS Shoe"
Weight, 2G, Basic Value 1633200

Sure, its covered in cat leather and has an image of toads in HFS, among many other things, but still, she might at least have made a pair of the darn things.

Oh Madam I have bought for you these boots of finest cork,
The one was made in London, the other made in York,
Oh will you be my love, my one and only dear?
And walk along with me anywhere?

Sir I'll not accept from you these boots of finest cork,
Though both be made in London, or both be made in York...



*excepting the protagonists of anything by Samuel Delany.
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shadow_archmagi

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #156 on: October 29, 2008, 04:47:51 pm »

Oh, lets not forget "Crushed Lightning the Furnace of Spasms" made of obsidian and encrusted with spikes of obsidian with rings of hanging obsidian and an image of a dwarf striking down a goblin in obsidian.

Sure would make a nice spear, right? Or a sword, even. Shame its a grate.
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Sunday

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #157 on: October 29, 2008, 04:53:22 pm »

This just in, the single most valuable artifact my dwarves have ever created in any fortress:

"Stelmithenseb, The Tressed Bases, an HFS Shoe"
Weight, 2G, Basic Value 1633200

Sure, its covered in cat leather and has an image of toads in HFS, among many other things, but still, she might at least have made a pair of the darn things.

Oh Madam I have bought for you these boots of finest cork,
The one was made in London, the other made in York,
Oh will you be my love, my one and only dear?
And walk along with me anywhere?

Sir I'll not accept from you these boots of finest cork,
Though both be made in London, or both be made in York...



*excepting the protagonists of anything by Samuel Delany.

Heh.  I got one of those - it was my first or 2nd artifact.  Thought it sucked, and then. . .poof. . .a my third or fourth artifact was another one!  Now one of my champions has a really nice pair of shoes.  His feet have never been hurt!  Yay!
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Doppel

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #158 on: October 29, 2008, 08:34:58 pm »

They could just cut his legs off and in that case you need one of these.


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Doppel has been ecstatic lately. He took joy in playing DF lately. He slept on a rough cave keyboard recently.
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Amplifier

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #159 on: October 30, 2008, 07:57:25 pm »

I was hopeful when I saw one of my siege engineers picking up so many valuables, but then..



On the upside, it's worth 141000.
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Rilder

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #160 on: October 30, 2008, 08:22:34 pm »

my only artifact so far was a lead helmet menacing with spikes of lead and encircled with bands of lead. it had a picture of a dwarf and a dwarf's head in tiger eye. the head was beside the dwarf. i asume the head was his own.

One my old fortressese had loads of lead, as such there was several lead artifacts.

Including IIRC a lead barrel...

 Yeah, those dwarves weren't the smartest lads around. ::)
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Doppel

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #161 on: October 31, 2008, 07:56:54 am »

I was hopeful when I saw one of my siege engineers picking up so many valuables, but then..



On the upside, it's worth 141000.

You can't have artifact siege engines or legendary siege engineers from a mood according to my recollection of the wiki.
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Doppel has been ecstatic lately. He took joy in playing DF lately. He slept on a rough cave keyboard recently.
He is a member of the Dwarf Fortress Forums.
Doppel likes the color Dark Blue, cats for their aloofness and girls for their silky soft brea beards.
He appreciates art and natural beauty.

Techhead

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #162 on: October 31, 2008, 10:43:01 pm »

Also, that chain can be use to make a very, very, very shiny well.
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Sykirobme

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #163 on: November 01, 2008, 12:09:15 am »

*excepting the protagonists of anything by Samuel Delany.

<golf clap>

Excellent reference...a few versions back, I named one of my fortresses something as close to "the Wounded Autumnal City" as I could...I gave my dwarves a fanciful name like the black vest of mirrors (Scorpions and Kid's chain) or something like that.
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Ascii Kid

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #164 on: November 01, 2008, 05:14:00 am »

I don't know how many Legendary socks have produced, but it's become clear to me that the love the gird their feet in splendor.
I've had them studded with gems, bars of gold, decorated with bone, sometimes all at once and I have to wonder at the actual functionality of these complex soks.  Especially because they only make one, not a pair.  Style of symmetry, I guess.  =->
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