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Author Topic: The worst artifact ever  (Read 18224 times)

Toransilver

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #135 on: October 05, 2008, 07:06:26 pm »

This is a pine amulet, all craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is decorated with pine.

Yessssss
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Alex Encandar

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #136 on: October 05, 2008, 09:39:41 pm »

This is a pine amulet, all craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is decorated with pine.

Yessssss

Was it a possesion or a fel mood?
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Brakebein

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #137 on: October 06, 2008, 05:16:24 am »

One of my immigrant metalsmiths just churned this out:

Shinkurel, "The Bright Lion", a tin high boot
This is a Tin high boot. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is studded with Tin and encircled with bands of Bismuth. This object menaces with spiked of Tin.





Yeah. He made ONE boot, not a pair. I think one of my marksdwarfs clomps around with this on one foot and a leather shoe on the other foot.

*CLOMP* -tap- *CLOMP* -tap- *CLOMP* -tap- *CLOMP* -tap- ....

Urist McCrossbow - 'What yer all lookin' at, yer slack-jawed lawn ornaments? An' why are ye all standin' on an angle?'
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Ririka

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #138 on: October 06, 2008, 04:06:25 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My first artifact ever.
Yep.
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Call me Rika.
'I often don't know where my Luggage is, that's what being a tourist is all about,'said Twoflower.

Time Kitten

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #139 on: October 06, 2008, 04:13:33 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My first artifact ever.
Yep.
Yeah, that's a terrible item.  Come on, it doesn't even menace of spikes!
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anomaly

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #140 on: October 06, 2008, 04:23:26 pm »

at least it's called "Banditmurder"
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Thuellai

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #141 on: October 07, 2008, 01:49:54 am »

I imagine it murders the bandits with indecent exposure.

My worst?  Probably the oaken ring, with bands of oak, and an image of an oak ring in oak.

I guess the guy was just really into oak.  And recursivism.  Because it's the only oak ring I had.
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"So kids, what story do you want me to read to you tonight?"
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Shurikane

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #142 on: October 07, 2008, 09:13:09 pm »

This is a Rope Reed right glove.  All craftsdrawfship is of the highest quality.  It is encrusted with sardonyx, decorated with rope reed and encircled with bands of cinnabar and cow leather.  It is made from rope reed cloth.  This object is adorned with hanging rings of pine and menaces with spikes of rope reed.  On the item is an image of a dwarf in mule bone.

I dunno about you guys, but to me, this artifact screams BAD TASTE!  :P
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Time Kitten

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #143 on: October 07, 2008, 09:27:12 pm »

This is a Rope Reed right glove.  All craftsdrawfship is of the highest quality.  It is encrusted with sardonyx, decorated with rope reed and encircled with bands of cinnabar and cow leather.  It is made from rope reed cloth.  This object is adorned with hanging rings of pine and menaces with spikes of rope reed.  On the item is an image of a dwarf in mule bone.

I dunno about you guys, but to me, this artifact screams BAD TASTE!  :P
I know!  That SO should have been a left glove!
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Thuellai

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #144 on: October 07, 2008, 10:45:31 pm »

The lead artifact left gauntlet was pretty bad too, but at least it was useful.  Theoretically.  It IS artifact armor, even if it's artifact armor that's hillariously heavy and useless.
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When you're following an angel, does it mean you have to throw your body off a building?

"So kids, what story do you want me to read to you tonight?"
"Oooh!  Oooh!  Goldibeard and the The Rotting Corpses!"
~LegacyCWAL

Mech#4

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #145 on: October 08, 2008, 06:51:03 am »

This is a pine amulet, all craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is decorated with pine.

Yessssss

I know what this artifact would've looked like!

;D

One dwarf, fighting for his life against the encroaching stench of miasma!
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Ririka

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #146 on: October 08, 2008, 07:40:38 pm »

Hey , look at that. I've got a new one.
I get the most unfitting names. :(

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Call me Rika.
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MajFan

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #147 on: October 10, 2008, 10:17:46 pm »

I got... "Zan Oslanustuth." A Sandstone mug worth 7200.

The maker's name is... Zan Oslanustuth. Narcissist, much?
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Quote from: foop
Quote from: Bodkin
...and I've wasted everybody's time.  Not that anybody here would have been off curing cancer...

It's funny you should say that, but what I should be doing is rebuilding a database that maps experimentally determined carcinogenic mutations in protein kinases to known structures as part of a human-annotated cancer research resource.  What I'm actually doing is reading the DF forums.

inaluct

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #148 on: October 10, 2008, 10:21:00 pm »

Hey , look at that. I've got a new one.
I get the most unfitting names. :(

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Wow, you have horrible artifacts. Just... Damn.

It's like the game was taunting you with the name or something.
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shadow_archmagi

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #149 on: October 11, 2008, 07:18:44 am »

Just imagine if you'd gotten that AFTER magic was implemented.
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invention is every dwarf's middle name
that means that somewhere out there theres a dwarf named Urist Invention Mcinvention.
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