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Author Topic: The worst artifact ever  (Read 17877 times)

Glacies

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #120 on: September 29, 2008, 04:48:52 pm »

Mercury poisoning is FUN!

Also, that hatch cover is awesome. Build an up staircase into a dwarf bedroom and build the hatch cover over the down stairs in the level above. You can use it like a door, and it's pretty.

1st floor
XXX
X>X
X. X

2nd floor
XXXXX
X .8. X
X .H. X
X . .. X
XXXXX

X=wall
.=ground
8=bed
H=hatch cover

Raithah

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #121 on: September 29, 2008, 08:05:56 pm »

I've been playing Dwarf Fortress for all of two weeks (after restarting countless times), and was thus overjoyed when my first secretive mood came along.

The single bone requested should have been a hint.

Thatthilamug, "The Autmnal Fog", a kobold bone idol
Weight: 5dp Basic Value: 2400dd

"This is a kobold bone idol. All craftsdwarship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of kobold bone."

For those curious, this is indeed an idol of a kobold out of kobold. By far, the worst artifact EVER.
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Spoggerific

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #122 on: September 29, 2008, 09:42:11 pm »

Well, hey, at least it was a secretive mood, and thus, you got a legendary bonecrafter out of it. It's pretty disappointing when you get an artifact like that out of a possession.
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nirodragon

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #123 on: September 29, 2008, 10:13:35 pm »

Code: [Select]
Zaslanlar, "The Crystalline Birds", a feather tree bin.

This is a Feather tree bin.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.  It is encircled with bands of Feather tree.  This object menaces with spikes of Feather tree and Lace agate.
On the item is an image of a dwarf and dwarves in Feather tree.  The dwarf is surrounded by the dwarves.

How, exactly, am I supposed to keep track of this freaking thing, unless I empty it, drop it in a room, and build a shrine around it?  And for a grand total value of 7200???  AAGH!
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makar

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #124 on: September 30, 2008, 02:14:11 am »

Well, all those people complaining about a artifact made from 1 material should wonder what is needed for such a simple object to be an artifact, like for example this:
"The Uncanny Workmanship Ball"
This is an Ivory ball, it is engraved with ivory:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

For a description: middle of the page http://jerrytchan.com/weblog/?cat=5

I would think such a thing would classify as an artifact, no matter the material it is made from..
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Glacies

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #125 on: September 30, 2008, 04:22:31 am »

Your artifacts are neat. Really. They aren't duds at all...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Drunken

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #126 on: September 30, 2008, 02:12:41 pm »

I have the worst ever: Nothing

My fortress is 10 years old and never a mood of any kind. No I don't have them switched off.
It's especially annoying because I have so much of everything that moods want except glass.
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Refar

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #127 on: September 30, 2008, 02:29:26 pm »

I have the worst ever: Nothing

My fortress is 10 years old and never a mood of any kind. No I don't have them switched off.
It's especially annoying because I have so much of everything that moods want except glass.

There are a few prereqs for a mood. Check out the wiki, if you didn't already, to see if maybe you missed something.
http://www.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Mood
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Joutilas

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #128 on: September 30, 2008, 03:50:19 pm »

Lor Meldbilodom, Farmer has created Gastbebźth Nekol Avėd, "Cleavetwinkled the Skull of Clobbering", a cat bone battle axe!

...sweet! Onward my valiant Axe Lords! Slay the kitten menace!
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Borgin

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #129 on: September 30, 2008, 04:01:18 pm »

I always thought my turtle bone crown would be pretty awesome to stick on a noble. Seems rightly fitting for a drunkard to wear something like that- the Burger King crown of DF. Or at least that's how it plays out in my head.
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HeWhoIsPale

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #130 on: October 01, 2008, 09:23:29 am »

Artifact 1: Ecem Debish, "The Tube of Spams", a Maple amulet. Weight: 1 Value: 4800
This is a Maple amulet. All craftsdwardship is of the highest quality. It is decorated with Maple and encircled with bands of Onyx.
(A slow started, but at least it wasn't a possession.)

Artifact 2: Usalduz Litez Aroth, "Crumblesmears the Sorcerers of Magic", a Adamantine weapon rack. Weight: 50 Value 723600
This is a Adamantine weapon rack. All craftsdwardship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of turtle shell and cave spider silk. On the item is an image of Amayi Squareravens the elf and Nako Tanglescorpion the elf in Adamantine. Nako Tanglescorpion is striking down Amayi Squareravens. The Artwork relates to the killing of the elf Amayi Squareravens bt the elf Nako Tanglescorpion in Profanedipped in The Branded Finger in 134 during Malayuirithe, "The Crazy Attack".
(Side note: About half my engraves are about this epic sounding civil war battle.)

Artifact 3: Kinthak, "Oakenlocked", a Adamantine war hammer. Weight: 8 Value: 1456800
This is a Adamantine war hammer. All craftsdwardship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with Amber opal and Onyx, studded with Adamantine and encircled with bands of Adamantine. This objects menaces with spikes of Adamantine, mountain goat leather and raccoon leather.
(For 3 wafers of adamantine, this better be the best Armok-damned weapon ever.)
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ShadowDragon8685

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #131 on: October 01, 2008, 10:26:46 am »

It's an Adamantine Artifact Warhammer.

That's a weapon with which a Hammerlord could crush a Bronze Colussus with like, one blow.
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Spoggerific

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #132 on: October 01, 2008, 10:35:22 am »

It's an Adamantine Artifact Warhammer.

That's a weapon with which a Hammerlord could crush a Bronze Colussus with like, one blow.
I saw a thread once where someone took an adventurer to a desert with an artifact adamantine warhammer, and started slinging desert scorpions all the way across the desert.

The first shot, he killed a scorpion and flung it 132 tiles away before it finally hit the ground.
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Derakon

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #133 on: October 01, 2008, 10:42:46 am »

3 wafers of adamantine is what you'd need to make a normal adamantine war hammer, right? So you got a guaranteed awesome warhammer instead of whatever your weaponsmith would normally make. Granted you didn't have a choice in the matter.
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Techhead

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Re: The worst artifact ever
« Reply #134 on: October 04, 2008, 12:04:42 am »

I have recently been inducted into the "I hate bowguns" club. My bowyer grabbed some expensive stuff, and I expected a kick-ass crossbow for a champion. At least give me a girly eleven bow that I could come back and grab in adventurer mode.
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Engineering Dwarves' unfortunate demises since '08
WHAT?  WE DEMAND OUR FREE THINGS NOW DESPITE THE HARDSHIPS IT MAY CAUSE IN YOUR LIFE
It's like you're all trying to outdo each other in sheer useless pedantry.
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