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[Brendan]

The impression I got of that earring was that the idol was on the earring, and the picture of the dwarf was on that picture of the idol, and the picture of the three-pointed star was on the picture of the dwarf, and the scepter was inside the image of the three pointed star and the scepter had two five-pointed stars on it.

MC Escher is in da house!

[MuonDecay]

A sword made of giant cave spider silk.


wut

Stop, vile goblins! Do not force me to slap you viciously with my limp, lustrous, silky... hey, stop laughing damnit, this sword is worth a fortune!

(Or perhaps it was very, very thoroughly starched?)

[eerr]

or maybe it kills with comedy

[Airpi]

Maybe they choke people with it. They catch the poor thing off guard with the silky smoothness, but once its around the neck its all over.

The worst artifact I ever had was a rope reed thong with an image of a dwarf in rope reed. I just imagined the guy who made it parading around the fort in nothing but a thong with his own face on it.

Eurgh.

[Boatmurderer]

Urist Hasseldwarf.

[J]

How much did that crazy earing weigh?  Also its been awhile, but what is the ratio for dwarf pounds to human pounds?

[WCG]

OK, I'm a newbie, but the artifacts in my first fortress have sure seemed weird. The first (after three dwarven deaths - including my swordsmith - because I didn't have any shells) was a very fancy... barrel.

Mamotkokeb Reg azkob, "Plaitteddwells the Gloves of Incense." This is a Billon Barrel. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. The object is adorned with hanging rings of Silver. On the item is an image of a mountain in Billon. On the item is an image of a lizard in char bone.

Worth 27,600 coins (I assume coins), but not exactly what I'd hoped to get.

Here's another:

Eshon Cilob, "The Good of Roofs."  This is a Bismuth animal trap. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with Granite, studded with Bismuth and encircled with bands of Alexandrite. This object is adorned with hanging rings of Granite, Bismuth and Alexandrite.

A vermin trap worth 61,200 coins! I hope the rats like it!

Bill

[A_Fey_Dwarf]

How much did that crazy earing weigh?  Also its been awhile, but what is the ratio for dwarf pounds to human pounds?

Even though it contained over 10 gigantic stones that weigh about 800 dwarf pounds each, the earring itself amazingly weighs only 2 dwarf pounds.

[J]

How much did that crazy earing weigh?  Also its been awhile, but what is the ratio for dwarf pounds to human pounds?

Even though it contained over 10 gigantic stones that weigh about 800 dwarf pounds each, the earring itself amazingly weighs only 2 dwarf pounds.

Thats some interesting dwarf math there.  800*5=2.  Also 2+2=5.

[Loctavus]

I had a really naff scepter at one point, it was made out of wood (ash maybe) and decorated with ash and dog leather.

To add to a fairly medicore artefact, it had an image depicting the drowning of one of my initial miners, when he went into a 7 deep murky pool to rescue a barrel of booze and then suddenly found he couldn't get out again. My other miners were too slow to dig him a ramp too. Paddling dwarves drown fast.

EDIT :

Just had a miner go into a secretive mood. He grabbed two lumps of andesite and some deer leather.

He made a statue worth 6.6k out of it, but his legendary skill? Mining.... I would be overjoyed if I hadn't spent -absolutely ages- having only him mine to get him to legendary like the four -other- miners I had. He was an immigrant, the others started out at proficient.

[Granite26]

How much did that crazy earing weigh?  Also its been awhile, but what is the ratio for dwarf pounds to human pounds?

Even though it contained over 10 gigantic stones that weigh about 800 dwarf pounds each, the earring itself amazingly weighs only 2 dwarf pounds.

Thats some interesting dwarf math there.  800*5=2.  Also 2+2=5.

800 lbs * 5 = 2 tons.

2.4 + 2.4 = 4.8

Just sayin'.....

[Alfador]

How much did that crazy earing weigh?  Also its been awhile, but what is the ratio for dwarf pounds to human pounds?

Even though it contained over 10 gigantic stones that weigh about 800 dwarf pounds each, the earring itself amazingly weighs only 2 dwarf pounds.

Thats some interesting dwarf math there.  800*5=2.  Also 2+2=5.

It means that out of the 800-pound stones, the moody dwarf only needed a tiny bit from each, ground the rest to powder and cast it into the depths.

Any value between 2.25 and 2.4999... will result in this apparent error when the display values are rounded to the nearest integer while the internal representations remain floating point. (2.4999... is not meant to be exactly 2.5, as that would round to 3, but rather to represent the largest value less than 2.5 that can be represented by whatever floating-point accuracy is being used)

[Doppel]

Try this for a boring fortress.
In chronological order:

1. "Cleanspeak", a ashen idol.
This is a Ashen idol. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is decorated with turtle bone. On the item is an image of Cleanspeak the ashen idol in ash.
3 Dwarven pounds. 3600 monies.
(truly a legendary artifact)

2. "Chewedmodest", a golden scepter.
This is a Golden scepter. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of gold.
193 Dwarven pounds. 72000 monies.
(the imagination is... well, i would have been more happy with a block of gold to be honest)

3. "Ultrafear", a perfect honey yellow beryl.
This is a perfect honey yellow beryl. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of honey yellow beryl.
13 Dwarven pounds. 48000 monies.
(fearfull isn't it?)

Then i'm not very clear about what happened to my fortress, but it suddenly fell into the void or something.

[Shakkara]

3 out of my 4 artifacts are worth less than 5000.

It's a high boot of useless leather with a useless leather decoration, an alder scepter with some ash rings, and a stone floodgate with turtle shell

What is worse is that they gave me tanning, woodcrafting and mining legendaries.

I can't wait to get a working Dwarf Companion so I can adjust the artifacts again, actually I refuse to play until a new version of DC is up.

[WCG]

I can't wait to get a working Dwarf Companion so I can adjust the artifacts again, actually I refuse to play until a new version of DC is up.

Why? Seriously. I'm a newbie, but I've got lots of artifacts in my first fortress. If they were all fantastically useful, they wouldn't be... special. I mean, it's the very fact that most artifacts are rather useless - even humorous - that makes the rare good ones so exciting, isn't it?

I guess I just don't understand the problem. And it's the same way with legendary skills. If we could get a legendary weaponsmith - or whatever - any time we wanted, wouldn't that get boring? Although I'm a newbie, I really like the variety in Dwarf Fortress. I think it's fun to work with whatever you get, whether that's resources, skills, or artifacts.

Just IMHO, of course. People are different, and you can certainly play the game any way you want. Your comment just surprised me.

Bill