SUCK IT UP SOLDIER. NOW IS THE TIME TO CHEW BUBBLEGUM AND LOOK AWESOME, AND I'M ALL OUT OF AWESOME. GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND CHEW ON SOME GUM, WHILE LOOKING LIKE A TOTAL SCRUBBY WIMP.
ALTERNATIVELY, IF YOU FEEL LIKE BEING WORTH THE USELESS FLESH YOU'RE HOUSED IN, JUMP OUT OF THE PLANE WITH NO PARACHUTE, DIVE DIRECTLY DOWN AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE, AND LAND ON TOP OF THAT FUCKER'S FIGHTER.
[Resilience 1] Rather than shake off your crippling PTSD you sink further into the throes of it. Your entire form shakes racked with sobs, as your mind is cast back again into the cesspit of your time at the Academy, when you watched daemons possess Best Friends #11 and 12 and force them to fight each other on the annual Learn How to Sadistically Murder Your Best Friend Day. You learned a lot, you recall.
Grab Mr.Ptsd and look for anything lootable left behind. Shove anyone I see into the escape craft
All abored the Uss Get-the-hell-outta-here!
[Strength 3] You pull and struggle but are unable to drag the sobbing man, who seems to be actively resisting you, to the leech craft. Though your triage instincts scream at you to leave him, your moral instincts scream equally loudly that you cannot have a triage for a single person. You honestly don’t know what to do. But time is short, and you mournfully acknowledge that even if you could get this man onto the plane, there’s nothing you could do for him. Sadly, you clamber onto the leech craft, sparing a final glance at the sobbing man still rocking back across the floor muttering something about best friends and the number 17. At least he had a lot of acquaintances at the Daemonologist Academy.
Toss Mr. Unconcious in the transport, then get in the pilots seat. Fly away from the bomber, then immediately analyze our surroundings. What planes remain in the sky?
((Spaz, the transport has three seats, and MJ said it could fit all four of us if we jam in. Though Egan refused to get in it multiple times.))
[Perception 1] Groo’s triumverate of brain cells, clearly occupied with the complex act of walking towards something and carrying someone at the same time, completely ignore the groggy comments and signs of movement from the shooty man slung over his back. Groo cheerily tosses the shooty man into a passenger seat and climbs into the cockpit. Groo is overjoyed when the medicine man morosely climbs into a passenger seat and buckles up. [Intelligence 1] Seeing that everyone is here, [Piloting 5] Groo amazingly manages to pull the right lever that both releases the leech craft from the doomed bomber and pull the lever that activates the liquid rocket engine. The force slams the privateers into their seats with acceleration as Groo expertly shoves the leech craft into its maximum service ceiling and lets it begin its glide. Varion checks the fuel gauge and lets out an impressed whistle, as it reads at about half empty an extremely impressive burn. [Perception 1] Groo scans the horizon for any enemy aircraft but can’t see anything aside from the whipped cream and cotton balls that surrounds him.
Wake the fuck up!
[Resilience 4] You groggily come to, disoriented and seemingly thinking you’re still in sniper school. You ask Groo when the barracks got remodeled, to which Groo says nothing because he is too busy walking and carrying you at the same time.
[Chainsaw guy piloting 5] Managing to get himself sorted in record time, Chainsaw guy flies off into the sunset.