It is possible the necos are cursed, or maybe I caused it when I allowed bins to get them to put clothes back on - there is a LOT of binning and bagging to be done. I think I did that after it was single digits though, so I could leave it running while I went and took care of life.
But anyways, here's my storied update. Again, sorry for taking extra time. And it's a bit large. My excuse is "one and done!" Or something like that. But, eh, I think it's alright. And if nothing else, remember
.
P.S. it was stressful, but I'm a glutton for punishment. Sign me up for another turn!
-------A Godly Deal------------------------"Come hither Deg, god of wealth and trades"
"What is it, High God Kigok?"
"You'll be well aware of the crumbling of the seal between limbo and the Foul one, several centuries ago, correct?"
"I sort of know of it your grace, it was before my time. But was it not ended by the sacrifice of Horrorfailed, the living fortress?"
"Almost right, and almost ended young one. But what is important is that cracks remain in the seal. We've allied ourselves with Tarem in an effort to seal them for all time."
"Tarem, but-but, high one, he's a god of death himself! One must be mad to trust him with this sort of plan!"
"Mad? Yes. I'm sure all who have survived part of Battlefailed are Mad. But that aside, remember, Tarem is a God of suicide. If he destroys the worlds, who will be left to kill themselves? And I am well aware of the dangers. That's why you shall go down to BloodyHells and take a look around for yourself."
"As you command high one"
"And Deg, if you do run into Tarem, make sure to remind him of our deal."
----Entering the Fort-------------So like an old spirit I sent my mind down, eager to see what sort of place Andreus and his dwarves were building this time to overthrow the plots of Ura.
I expected a madness that would fight death.
I did not expect the madness that would make death spit it back out.
I passed a human falling into Ura's arms, beaten apart by a coral titan atop a mound of ash, erupting from a river of sea otter blood that crossed the obsidian wasteland. Looking around, there were human, dwarf and elf bits everywhere, random flotsam and body parts strewn together in acid slime and blood. Where the F*** did the forest go?
I went inside, hoping it would be better. I passed through wall after gate after door. And there it was, the trade depot! I had found the living dwarves at last! But wait, these ones are all dead. Or maybe undead. It's hard to tell, and I'm really only good with money. Or maybe it's the dingo and chinchilla guts covering everything.
Pushing deeper, I found a giant cavern full of roaming Rutherers, obviously left to go wild, and a ghost strangling a duck in a large stone chamber with hatches in the doorways instead of doors.
Deeper and deeper I went, through caverns empty save for corpses. Until at last I found life! Shorast coming up some stairs! But hold on… is this Lur's trickery?! She's a necromancer! Looking about the hold, they're all Necromancers! Well, except for Silverlock. I think the tears that are covering her might have something to do with it. And the muttering about death. But she's having a drink, so she must be alright!
Old Andreus is in a corner, studying ways of adhering the soul to the body, but in reality, not much seemed to be getting done.
They came here to fight the undead "for the king". We sent them here to rally up more souls for the fight against Ura. Even they don't really know their true purpose. They never could really. But if they keep doing nothing, the seal will break, Ura will win, and even worse, it will be boring. Something has to change, and I've found just the dwarf to do it! NCommander!
-------------The Dwarves Early Spring--------------Alright, is my turn as overseer. And seeing how Mayor Shorast dun't do nothin but sit and forbid trading things to merchants that never make it inside - that means it's my turn to laze around and order the dolts about. Er, I mean lead the fortress to greatness. Yeah, it's been borin around here. Maybe that'd be more interesting than looking at the stories on the walls. Though the new strawberry carvings are rather interesting.
Nah, I'd best get to work- pullin levers to see what they do and walkin corridors to see where they go. Woah, I forgot how much of a maze this place was.
--
Dang elves arrived today. I can see them tromping around in the acidic muck from the tower. Their light feet won't help them against the acid rain! But they came from the south, crossing the obsidian crust that has capped over the ocean. I wonder just how far out into the sea our black stone has gone?
I would open the doors, not that they could have anything we need. But I'd like to send out news that we are still alive- or, em unalive. But Tunem the titan sits between them and our gates, guarding a slowly rotting kill
No great loss but it does bring up an issue, if someone we would want to greet should stumble into this land of death, how would I let them in?
There are the old sealed tunnels from overseer Sanctume but they are barricaded and caped with obsidian. And by Lur's beard, when I put my ear to the walls, I swear I can hear echoes of cold lips trying to force out poetry. No most of the upper tunnels are lost to us for now. But we are dwarves! We shall dig new ones around them!
--
I walked into the library, looking for wisdom on how to make doors safe from building destroyers. What I found was Andreus, who'd locked himself in a Zinc cage.
"Andreus, what above magma are ya doing?"
"I am pondering the secrets of adhesion, trying to figure out how the soul is attached to the body. Being around you necromancers, who have attached your souls to your own dead bodies, is quite the opportunity for me to learn."
"Fine but without our book ya wastin ya're time. But why th' cage?"
"It hides me from the sight of the gods. At least two of them have been poking around. I don't want anything more to do with them."
"Ah, here's me book. Right behind this iron cage. Wait, would th' iron one work th' same?"
"It couldn't hurt my friend. It couldn't hurt"
--
I'd like to route the new tunnels into our existing airlock, so our existing defenses are never compromised, but we have to get into the lock first. But the levers are not clearly marked. There's center surface gate, and center entrance gate. I'ma guess the center surface is between the fortress and the lock, and the center entrance is between the lock and the outside. Dun make sense ta me either, so I'm just gonna pull 'em both! What's the worst that can happen?
Well, at least we know one thing. Someone can't label levers. The outside is closed at least (the lever on the right); but the lever on the left didn't seem to do anything. Which means I don't have any idea what it did. Which means it does something bad.
I guess I'll build a new lever.
Oh wait - the old one does work. It just has a lag. Whatever.
Time to dig! I hear some of the miners crying, but that's normal.
-----The Dwarves Late Spring-----------Progress on the necrolock expansion is going well.
Several dwarves have managed to get themselves stuck, but that's just the nature of things here at Bloodyhells. We're stuck in all things. In location, in unlife, in pain.
Welp, looks like the support of one of the fall traps was built on the wrong face, and poor Spish has almost been squished. This has mangled where his already missing nose should have been. Man, I thought this guy couldn't get any uglier.
Wait, what's that hubbub?
Blast, it's migrants from the north! The fates must be against us, the north gate is one of the furthest from completion. There's no way we'll be able to make it usable. But perhaps they aren't totally in Ura's clutches. Tumen the titan is far to the south, and the rest of the surface seems deserted. They'll have to make a run for the main gate and hope that Tumen is blind. Pull the levers!
The gate is open, enter and find slightly less danger migrants! Run run!
I watched from the front gate as the first and fleetest of them ran towards the gate. And then curved to the south, straight into the jaws of danger!
"No! Where are you going? Safety's here you fool!"
"I'm Cilob! I want to pick up <<-grown jute braies->>, I'll be right there!
"
Braies? What in limbo is that? No time, I shouted after his disappearing form as loudly as I dared.
"Now listen here! I forbid everything on the surface, you're in the military and in a burrow now. So come inside this instant!"
I watched him walk right past Tunem the titan and his newly risen zombie, and walk all the way to the southern border. What luck he had.
Maddness.
But then of course, I was distracted by screams.
The other two migrants were cautiously coming to the door, when down from the skies swept Nazomaztong. Our flying menace. One of them had the wisdom to sprint for the door, and I ushered him inside. But the second, a bloody fishmonger as I was later to learn, decided to hold his ground with a crossbow. He was actually doing fairly well, when more screams joined the chorus.
Cilob had decided to trust in his luck again. But this time it hadn't held out.
As Tunem took another soul, the marksdwarf had managed to attract the attention of several zombies, and was leading them and Nazomaztong right to the door.
"Inside, inside!"
"I have to get Cilob!" he cried and took off to the south, leaving the beasts of the surface to approach the door.
"Bloody Hell, close the gate! Keep an eye on him, and someone stand by the lever! He'll have to survive on his own for a while." I mostly say this so I don't feel so bad about his inevitable death. I'm surprised. I didn't think I could feel anything.
But the gates didn't close. And the zombies kept shambling closer.
"Haven't you dolts pulled the lever?" And then I realized- with horrible clarity- the reason we were having the lag with the gates.
I'd read the levers backwards.
"Pull the other one! Pull the lever on the left!"
Meanwhile, all I could hear was the marksdwarf's weeping over the fate of Cilob as he came back north towards the gate. And right into the waiting arms of the legendary human zombie. I turned away as the gates closed.
Drat you Kadol, fishmonger and marksdwarf, we actually tried to save you.
"Silverlock, get me a drink."
The luck these two have with not being seen running across an open stone plain.
Only to waste it walking straight up to horrible monsters…
And since it looks like our new arrival won't be spontaneously turning into a pile of bloody parts in the next hour, it seems he needs some looking over. I'll name him 'Kamani' since our records seem to say kamani is the last name to be given. He has no connections to anything but his son and father, both of whom he left at home. Probably a good idea. He has no skills of any sort, so I've put him on everything he might be decent at.
------Deb meets Tumen---------------------"Hmmm… quite a display you put on. You barely even had to use your puppet to collect a couple of souls. Quite impressive Tumen the titan. Or do you prefer Tarem?" I challenged the spirit hovering around the great coral beast.
"Aha, the spy finally comes for a chat. What do you need my brother the spy?"
"Spy? I'm only here to count the great wealth of BloodyHells- of course I am. I mean, so much for only 20 so dwarves. Wealth of course sits to be counted and owned, and that's where I take my pleasure. But may I ask, what do you intend to do with the souls?"
"Haha, of course you are. And of course, the souls must move onwards, either to limbo or to the Foul Hunger. I find that incredibly boring. Anyone can watch a soul move on. Every god sees them fly from their world to ours. Boring. I watch those who's own actions have brought them to death. I stare into their minds in the final moments, as the flesh's will to live and the mind's despair crash together. And then I let the soul go."
"But why?"
"I suspect that there is another place, a place only suicides go. And so I watch them. Because I have to be sure brother. I have to know before I complete the deal."
------The Dwarves Summer------------Ghosts! They are filling the library and training grounds. They might be a tad frustrated that we have immortal bodies and all they can do is float 'round, cuz we've got 5 new ones floating around. I've ordered the mass production slabs. The empty room next to the barracks should make a fine mass memorial. It might need some expansion though.
Also, it seems a wild Rutherer has started living in our fields. Hopefully it wanders into a cage trap. I counted all our Rutherer's at the beginning of my reign (9, 7 of them babies) and now we have 11 (9 of them babies) and all of them trained. Have we been living with a wild Rutherer this whole time?
More ghosts! Lebo and Balnash this time, but wait - isn't Lebo still alive?
At this rate we'll have more ghosts than living dwarves. Well, unliving dwarves I suppose.
Life is moving on as usual, though it almost seems like things are slowing down.
Shorast has been reelected mayor, which makes sense since the only thing he’s
done is forbid exporting leather - which comes to life and tries to kill us when we
make it, and we haven’t exported anything yet anyways.
--
I was sitting in the library, trying to snack while I read some mountainhome propaganda, when Ghost Lebo flew through my chest!
"Ahhhhhhhh! By Deg's gold don't do that" I cried as she flew through the ceiling.
"Try the cage friend, it should shield you from her. And be glad that she's not pulling anything worse." Andreus mumbled.
I sighed as I sat down in the cage. "I could do with a drink, or maybe a nice bit of red meat - but the caverns are fillin up with the dead. I have ghost Eric check em out. An there are more of 'em every day!"
"They are migrating closer to the fortress, searching for the life. Foraging for souls. Just like the zombie otters do every year."
"Undead dun't migrate. Otters or not!"
"Oh but they do. The undead here have lost their soul, but the corpse remembers the works of the soul. That's why zombie dwarves can open doors, and zombie eagles can fly. They have a thirst for souls, which is why they pursue the living so much more readily than they pursue your Necromancers."
"Hmm… stupid is what they is. But they'd best get away from my fortress!"
--
We've started moving back into the upper fortress. Not putting anything of value up there mind you, but rather cleaning and figuring out where everything is and where the zombies are. There are only 3, and they're locked away in small areas.
One of the miners, Flame, seems to have disappeared. Ghost 'Eric Blank' guarantees me that he's still alive. But he seems to be in a funk. I'll let him be.
What do the Rutherers eat? They're obviously large predators, but there is no prey here.
**looks around at all the dead bodies** oooooh…
--
On the note of the Rutherer in the fields. It must have been tame at some point, but now it is certainly wild. It does not attack however, and now that I've begun watching it, every time a dwarf walks by, they'll push it back into a room next to the farms, appropriately named 'Stockpile #131', only for it to follow them out. The others are all apparently oblivious to how strange this is.
--
On the note of the levers. There are so many around. Most of them are labeled in high dwarfish, which I can't make heads nor beards of. The ones that are written down are kind of confusing. So I made one of those, what're they called.
Phonics, pneumonics, pneumatics? Well, it's a thing so I can remember all the door levers and what they do. It goes like this.
Going down the rows Men Never Eat Slimy Worms (Main North, East, South West) and across it's Our Traps Inspire (Outer, Traps, Inner).
That way I can remember all in a moment how to work any part of the Necrolock or it's expansion. There's a reason I'm overseer ya know.
--
Otherwise the new fad is to complain how we don't have enough cages. Every other day someone tells me, "not enough cages" I've ordered the production of 10 more. Hopefully that'll nip this in the bud.
--
Spish came up to me yesterday.
"The ghosts keep interrupting my training time. We should never have put the memorial next to the training room. It's dishonorable."
"Well Spish, keeping ourselves unliving and strong enough to defeat the foes that killed them is the best way to honor the dead. So I say it's decent. Just ignore Lebo the ghost, she's harmless"
And he walked off. What simple problems in such a complicated place. I miss the sky, it's always raining acrid slime or fog, or nefarious glowing fog or dreary clouds here. The fog comes close about Tumen, but he's never husked. What luck he's got.
I see dwarves eyeing the crossbow that the fishmonger dropped. Oh, and he's animated now. Part of the zombie army that guards our gates, and our fates. But he did do a lot of damage with those silver bolts…
I've decided that everyone without a weapon of choice will get a crossbow. I pray we never need them, but if Deg is the nicest god we have to pray to, I suppose we will.
Also, the ghosts tell me a Yak has starved. Where on earth did we get a yak?
----The Dwarves Fall----------Looking out onto the obsidian waste I can only think one thought. The blood gnats are a lovely shade of red this fall.
Unlife at BloodyHells can get unbearably boring at times.
More of the Rutherer's seem to be going wild. Probably the pheromones of this one we've got in the farms sending them up the walls. I'll have Lebo train them all. She seems to get on well with them. And it makes Ghost Lebo happy too for some reason.
Eh, and I thought a zombie poet was bad enough. Now we've got a ghostly poet. HE WON"T STOP TELLING ME ABOUT DYING. IN LIMIRICKS. We have to slab this guy.
Today, I walked into a room - next to 'Stockpile #131', and find 40+ cages standing about empty. They are not forbidden, and seem to be in a furniture stockpile. Yet the complaints of "not enough cages" continue. I can only guess that they are all possessed. I'll just have more forged. No big problem.
Well, let me check up on Flame and the necrolock expansion. It should be close to completion.
Op, the digging is done, the bridges and doors and hatches and cage traps are being constructed. And Flame is still in a corner. How are you doing Flame?
Crash! Boom! Crash! Boom!
"Puzzlebark! What is that horrible racket?"
"Dad, the forgotten beast Abeismo, the one that was trapped a year ago has begun throwing a copper mine cart into the walls repeatedly in rage! We're putting more trash against the walls trying to kill the sound."
"Ok, good lad. Use everything up here that isn't a body"
I've been having ghost 'Lebo' patrol the caverns for me.
A week ago a live helmet snake was engulfed by a dismembered crundle neck. That's right, only the neck. So it's a snake trying to get out of an angry fleshy zombie scarf. Of course, neither can actually hurt the other, so it has become an endless duel. I consider it the mascot of our lives.
Limestone, it's so boring. Just working on our projects, the rain starts and stops. Even the ghosts are bored.
Ahh! After the drought comes the storm!
The caravan has arrived at the same time as a liaison, and the migrants! It's our chance to tell the outside world how much wealth we have!
But at the same time, somehow an undead has gotten into the necrolock expansion. But none of them have even broken the surface yet! How? Close the inner gates! Pull the levers, and quickly summon the militia, assemble at the lock!
I issue the final orders to open the western side gate, and send the Night Guards into battle. As long as Nazomaztong doesn't come a smelling, our visitors should be fine.
Welp, I totally over prepared for that combat. And with that, apparently 'Clover Magic' has been avenged.
Alright, time to open the first of the extended locks, let the merchants in. What's this? A cloud of nefarious fog is coming? Ura be damned, why? And it's coming straight for Tumen!
Well, the titan must either repel the fog, or have the blessings of a God, for it walked right into the fog, but the evil parted before it.
And in other news, the migrants and merchants have a way in, but they seem to have created too much noise, now the corpse of the fishmonger is coming for them!
Oh, my design actually worked, and caged the fishmonger? And all the migrants are in safely? AND the liaison is in safely? WHAT? Oh, I mean, of course it worked first try! My planning and skills as an overseer are unparalleled! AHahahahaha *forced laughter*
Hmmm… well it is time to welcome the travelers inside.
"Come in, squeeze down this tiny corridor! Right past the zombie in the cage. This way ta Bloodyhells! Please, right this way, ignore the nude dwarves. That's just how the want to dress! Welcome liaison! Please watch your step, there are lots of bodies you can loose your footing on."
Wait, where are the merchants?
"Oi, get in here ya dolts, we got safety n trash, er trade. I mean trade!"
"You're tunnel is too small!"
"What, ya got no wagons, get in here!"
"It's the merchant union, we can't pass through any hallway less than three wide."
"WHAT! You sons o'Lur. Ya see that bird, right over there. It's the Forgotten Beast ZOMBIE Nazomaztong, and it will eat all of ya!"
"Company policy man. Sorry"
"Well, so am I. Pull the lever! Leave the sods! And Silverlock- another drink!"
---------
Too much is going well. When is the curse of this place going to strike??
Oh, our new arrivals are vomiting everywhere. I forgot that the living tend to do that here...
Wait, the banging stopped. Someone get me a ghost to see what happened! Is Abeismo free?
No, actually, the copper minecart Abeismo kept pushing finally got enough momentum and ricocheted right into Abeismo, striking it dead. This place runs off luck, good and bad.
Meanwhile our wise mayor and brave liaison have begun their meeting, attended by a shoe, in the middle of a field. Truly noble.
---
"Greetins Liaison Olon, how was the journey? And how are the mountain homes? It's been a long time since one of ya made it through to us."
"Well, the journey was horrid. Constantly running and hiding. But more importantly, what are you dwarves thinking?? We sent you here to kill Necromancers, not to become them!"
"Ey now! Ya'll sent us here to die. We've done what we must ta survive. It was prudent at the time. And before ya speak of the hammer, I'll have ya know, Necromancers have trouble drinkin."
I grinned in pleasure to see his smug face tremble.
"Now, no more of that, or we'll put ya back outside. Let's get to business!"
"Well, the mountain homes are in great need of fish, leather, wood, and cut gems. I'm sure you have all of them in abundance. What do you need here?"
"How bout ya send us
It should go without sayin, and any information ya got on how the undead dun't migrate."
"Sounds like a sensible order, anything else?"
"Can ya send us some more puppies? Please?"
---The Dwarves Winter--------
"Sir, Overseer NC sir, come look! There's dozens of them, coming from the west!"
"What, migrants? Invaders? Ghosts?" I ran to the tower, getting a look at what new danger had beset the fortress.
"No sir, undead otters, leaving a river of blood across the waste. They must be migrating, what do we do?"
"Dun't tell Andreus. He'll never shut up, and I'll knock your block off."
I've decided to clear the last of the zombies from our halls. And it's an elf to. Can't have any of those in my fort.
I ordered the best of the melee fighters to the gate, and had a mortal open it to lure the foul zombie out.
But alas! At the moment of truth, as the gates were opened, our four heros ran! Down stairs and stairs they went, and left Silverlock and Lebo to deal with the elf zombie. Luckily Lebo got a lucky hit in with his crossbow, knocking off the zombie's head?
But fear not, our heroes regained their honor, dueling the chinchila corpse!
The battle raged for days, and 21 pages were filled with dodges and throws before the Chinchila was finally beheaded!
Good good, now go guard that elf zombie head. It keeps reanimating and scaring the Rutherers.
--
"Father?"
"Yes Puzzlebark?"
"If the liaison is set on reporting us to the king for being Necromancers, why aren't we throwing him out for the titan to wreck?"
"Well Puzzlebark, that would go against the code of the dwarves. And we wouldn't want that now would we! … … … And besides, he's started chaining himself to the wall in the old upper fortress to sleep. We couldn't cut him down without waking him up."
--
"Evaris, come back inside, you know you have to do this super dangerous suicidal thing for the good of dwarf kind, for the good of the fortress!"
"No, I won't!"
"Alright then, Just come back inside anyways, there's no point in running out into the wastes to get carried off by the big bird. Puzzlebark, my son, are you feeling brave?"
"...I think so?"
"Alright then, it's your time to face death. Get to the suicide room! And pray to Deg and Tumen!"
"Yes, but father... what are we doing with the suicide room?"
"We're going to drop rock on the Titan and kill it! You're the bait! Now get to digging! Straight up! And cry louder! We want him to hear!"
"But Father, we can't drop the roof on him. It's still attached..."
"Oh. Then we'll lock him inside!"
"How father?"
"With a bridge, or a floor or something!"
"How will we get it above him - into the tiny space you left - before he leaves the suicide room?"
"..."
"... Nevermind son...... Close up the suicide room! I've decided to spare you dolts from the fear of capturing Tumen!"
--
Winter's almost over, but I'd trade all Deg's gold just to stop the place from smelling.
"Which of you dolts fed the Rutherer's beans?!!!"
--Sunrise - 1st of Granite------Atop the tower, looking out over the waste, I could just make out the forms of the otters as the last of them scampered off to the east.
"Maybe they DO migrate" I muttered. "Not that I'll admit it."
BANG!
Feeling the tower reverberate, I shouted down
"What was that?"
"Overseer NC, one of the bridges in the merchant tunnel has been deconstructed, we don't know who or why!"
"Look at the calendar ya dolts! It's first of Granite! Not overseer no more, not my problem!"
And I returned to pondering migration habits.
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Topic: Bloodyhells - Succession: Battlefailed #5 (42.06) (Read 139158 times)