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[Robot Parade Leader]

Actually this is for something before Mother's Day, but that's on my mind too.

She's about 64 years old. She doesn't like going out to eat and it is difficult for us to get along at times, but I mostly just do what she says without even answering much except for to do it. She does garden a little bit, but the weather is still iffy on that right now.

We watch popular TV shows sometimes, and conversation is difficult so we mostly don't.

Here's what I have as an idea so far:

1. Cook dinner for her
2. Watch a Movie she wants to (I don't know which one, she has Netflicks she doesn't use much).
3. Get her some of her favorite Wine

Other than that I'm not really sure what to do and just trying to float some ideas out there. Any good suggestions?

[nenjin]

Sounds a lot like my mom. Same age, same "I don't want to go anywhere/do anything." Conversations not about her work (she's retiring in a month or so) are difficult sometimes too.

I tried to buy her a Spa day for her birthday...and she didn't want it. I tried to get her to go out to eat....she said she was too tired.

Of the options you listed, cooking dinner for her is probably the best option given the kind of lady she is. And honestly, if I trust what my mom says, just having me around to hang out doing whatever is a gift.

[Robot Parade Leader]

Thank you. I think you might be right.

I'm still going to ask for any more suggestions though. I mean I'm trying to think of something. Candles? I don't know. Bath stuff? Not sure.

Yeah, any ideas please?

[NJW2000]

Make Something for her if you're the creative type?

[nenjin]

Get her the home beauty pack.

-Hand/Body Lotion from Bed, Bath and Beyond.
-Designer soap. (I brought my mom back some soap from France, she adored it. But she's adored the Zum Soap Bars I've been getting her for years too.)
-Bath salts. (The kind you put in your bath not in your body.)

Flowers are rarely a miss with moms, too.

At that point, after hanging out with her, making dinner would be icing on the cake.

Thing is though, and I try to remember this often when dealing with my mom: you're not really responsible for how they are. It's not a failure if you go out of your way to do nice things and she's not receptive to them. Sometimes I feel guilty, like, as her son I should be able to lift her out of whatever she's in. But it's honestly not in my power to do. So don't stress out if you can't seem to give your mom the "perfect" mother's day or birthday. She kind of has to want to meet you halfway.

[TheBiggerFish]

That makes sense.

But mostly this is a PTW.