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[origamiscienceguy]

(Skydive through a nuclear explosion?)

[TheBiggerFish]

(No, the missile is still going up, right?  It's going to come back down, in a parabolic arc, at which point our whatsit will poke the button and BIG BOOM.)

[origamiscienceguy]

(yeah, but you're going up with it. It's not like when you jump out you suddenly start falling down again )

[TheBiggerFish]

(Yes it is, though.   Or, well, if we push off.)

(...Depth charges.  CARP.  Why did I not think of...)

How many parachutes did we carry?

[origamiscienceguy]

none. This was a suicide mission.

[TheBiggerFish]

...Improvise a one-shot TARDIS out of the remains of the rocket and the nuke.  Return to the past, slightly before takeoff.  Make an EMP with an anti-depth fuse.  Launch THAT, instead.  Or, well, you have to have gone up anyway.

[origamiscienceguy]

Sorry, I think that violates rule 1. Has to be something a normal human could do. No magic space wizardry.

[Gwolfski]

Knit wires into parachute, improvise a basic mechanical timer from the barometer, so it explodes when it goes high enough. Jump out with parachute.

[germanyfrance]

hmm. If you are really high in the atmosphere, the shockwave wouldn't kill you. So all you need is to take a sheet of aluminum with you to block all the beta radiation that the blast emits. Do TBF's timer thing, then jump sideways as far as you can.

[origamiscienceguy]

You rip out the detonation button, and carefully insert each of the two cables into the barometer such that when the liquid rises to the perfect level, it would complete the circuit and detonate the nuke. But you decided that you need to live as well. You rip out a bunch of wiring from inside the rocket, grab one of the payload fairings and eject them, sending you tumbling sideways. Immediately, without the leaking oxygen tank, the near-vacuum sucks the air out of your lungs once again. Your vision begins to get blurry and dark. Suddenly, a bright flash lights up the sky. You huddle close to the heat-resistant fairing. The next sensation was the sudden rise in temperature, then the noise. It wasn't as loud as you thought, because the air is so thin up here, but you could still hear. By this point, you had closed your eyes and were drifting off, when the shock wave hit you. Normally, this would be deadly, but because of the low air-density, it actually helped you by letting you get another breath of oxygen. You keep the fairing blocking the radiation and heat, but your vision fades once again, and you black out.

You wake up to see the ground rushing towards you. The fairing was nowhere to be seen, but the mess of cables was still tangled around you. You look up and see a strange pancake cloud of nuclear fallout, but more impressive was the ring of lightning around the earth. It seems the EMP set off lightning storms in a perfect expanding ring. If that won't destroy the electronic menace, then you don't know what will. You estimate that you have about 3 minutes before you become a pancake yourself, so you get busy organizing the cables in such a way to slow your fall. After two minutes, you have it as best as you can. You now have one minute to find a landing site. You see a desert, with a small town. In the town was one swimming pool, but slightly out of the town there seemed to be a honorary funeral going on. There were so many people and soldiers as well. Where will you land.

[TheBiggerFish]

Into the pool.  Much safer.  Er...Probably.

The storms are beyond the pool, right?

[StrawBarrel]

Into the pool.  Much safer.  Er...Probably.

The storms are beyond the pool, right?

+1

[pikachu17]

Suddenly the hero is attacked by a cyborg dragon, with fire-breath and lasers!

[origamiscienceguy]

You release the parachute and execute a fancy maneuver of twists and flips until you dive into the pool. The "parachute" lands beside you and sinks to the bottom. You climb out, soaking wet, leaving a black cloud of grease and grime floating in the water. You hop a fence and go to the only road in the town. Everybody seems to be at the funeral. But that really doesn't matter. You saved humanity from the machine menace. But you are now pretty exhausted. It was a very hard days work and the sun is setting. Is there anything you want to do before you go home?

[StrawBarrel]

Go to the funeral.