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[origamiscienceguy]

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Just to let you guys know, this story will have an ending, and it will be so epic it will put Chuck Norris to shame.

[ManMan]

Well, obviously, jump on the plane and take control of it!

[TheBiggerFish]

Well with THAT, there's only one thing to do.  Roundhouse kick the plane into submission.

[origamiscienceguy]

You smash one of the museum's windows, and scamper up to the roof. There, you pick up some cinder blocks, and climb the tall flagpole. As you reach the top, the whole flagpole tilts over and you land on the ground again. You climb all the way to the top, then simultaneously drop all the cinder blocks you were carrying, and the flagpole catapults you straight towards the airplane. In mid-air, you roundhouse kick the front window, and the glass shatters under your impact. The air started rushing into the airplane through the hole you made, slowing you down enough to grab the wheel, and put all your weight onto it. Luckily for you, airplanes have a mechanical link to their control surfaces, so you do have some control. The plane begins to pull up, it smacks the flagpole off the roof, scrapes against the top of the wall, then clears the building. The plane now flies over all the nearby buildings. You look down and see the two bodies of the pilot and co-pilot. They are breathing, but unconscious. You open the door, and the same is true for everybody else. It seems the plane depressurized the cabin, but now that you are at such a low altitude, that doesn't matter. But you have to get these people to safety. The only landing strip big enough is at the military airfield.

[StrawBarrel]

Revive the pilot and co-pilot.

[origamiscienceguy]

You don't have any smelling salts, but you remember that the redneck touched your shirt, so you have them smell that. They immediately wake up. You inform them that you have saved them from crashing, but you need them to land this thing without any computers. They agree, and tell you "The landing gear is computer controlled. You will have to enter the cargo hold and open them manually from down there. A hatch is in the back."

[StrawBarrel]

Enter the hatch and get to the cargo bay. Check out the landing gear once there to make sure we can control it.

[origamiscienceguy]

You do several cartwheels though the passenger cabins, dodging all the fainted people. You reach the back of the plane, step over some unconscious flight attendants, and find a small hatch labeled "do not open while in flight." Whelp, I guess you gotta break the rules. You twist the handle, but the door won't budge. It seems to be electronically locked. You go into a punching frenzy and dent and smash the door until it opens for you. Right about this moment was when you heard all the engines on the right side of the plane shut off. You jump through the trapdoor right as the plane begins a horrible corkscrew through the air. But you cannot let the rapidly changing gravity inside the plane throw you off. You run around the cargo bay so you make progress towards the ear landing gear while adjusting for the rotating aircraft. You reach the rear landing gear and snap any and all cables attached to it, then you rip off a small metal strut and use it as leverage to force the small door open and get the landing gear down. You lock the gear in place and steal a quick glance outside. And through the spinning landscape, you see... the drone.

It is taking off, it launches a missile...

but the missile goes way off target for your plane. Thinking it must be glitching, you resume your mission and charge up to the font landing gear. The pilots must have disabled all engines and are probably bringing the plane in on a glide. You repeat the process on the front, but halfway through, you feel a jolt as the rear landing gear touch down. You yank with all your might and slam the front landing gear down just as they themselves slam into the concrete. The plane slows down extremely fast and comes to a stop. You hear the sound of a massive explosion and jump through the landing gear and land outside. In the air was another plane, and the drone's missile had utterly destroyed it. The melted and warped metal rained down, but there were also 2 parachutes coming down as well. The drone was wheeling around and looked like it wanted to destroy them as well. All you have is a pistol and some loose pieces of debris.

[StrawBarrel]

Looking around the airport for a conveniently placed helicopter, jetpack, anti-aircraft gun, anti-aircraft missile, or any weapon.
If we can't find any flight devices, then fire at the drone from the ground.
If we can take to the air, then bring whatever weapon we can and fly towards the drone.
If we can't find anything, then fire our pistol at the drone.

[origamiscienceguy]

You quickly look around the military airbase, and see several convenient helicopters and aircraft all with their canopy's open and lights blinking like crazy, but you figure that if you turn those highly-weaponized machines on, bad things would happen, so you get the next best thing... An antique cannon that was on display. You heave and rotate it around, take all the ammo that you were carrying, and rapidly disassemble the shells, tossing the gunpowder into the barrel of the cannon. You look for a suitable projectile, and decide to use a dismembered unguided missile off of a nearby rack. You toss the missile in front out, and light a match on the spark. The gunpowder lets out a loud BANG, and sends the missile heading towards the drone at hundreds of miles per hour. Then, the force of the explosion ignites the rocket stage, sending the missile to supersonic speeds straight towards the drone, where the timed fuse ignites at the perfect moment. You aimed it perfectly. You didn't want the missile to impact the drone because the explosion would also kill the two parachutists, so you aimed above the drone and had the shock wave knock the drone straight out of the air, while also using the drone as a shield to protect the two parachutists from shrapnel. Everything happened as planned. The explosion rocked the drone, and it went in a tumble towards the earth. The two parachutists landed safely a few meters from the landed Boeing 737. You run up to them and find the pilot already talking to them. You get close enough to recognize one as some sort of security dude, and the other one is....

the president.

The president's security dude says, "I saw what you did. Would you be able to help escort us to a specific place? I know how to get there, but we would need more men to protect the president." The pilot immediately accepts. What do you say?

[origamiscienceguy]

oops. Double post.

[StrawBarrel]

Say "Yes, sir." with a salute.

I think we're once a patriotic civil servant of a mayoral office or something.

[origamiscienceguy]

You say, "Yes Sir" While saluting. The president himself comes and shakes your hand. "very good. Now, transportation to the locationwhere we are going has already been arranged. Ah! I think that is it there!" He points in the distance where a cloud of dust is racing towards the airport. You ask "Don't you know that all machines have turned against us?" He replies. "Not all machines mind you. Only ones with a computer in them. Stuff like flashlights and basic radios etc. still work fine. Besides, our transportation is quite old fashioned and I daresay immune from machine corruption." You get a better look and see 5 horses galloping from the dirt on to the tarmac. Another security guy is leading them. He arrives, and you, the pilot, the president, and the first  security dude mount. You follow from the rear, and glance behind you. You let out a sigh of disbelief. The drone was still alive. It had smoke trailing behind it, and a noticeable wobble to its flight, but it continued to fly, off over the horizon. It had used all its missiles, but it could still be a threat later. You ask the president where you are going, and he answers "a safe...ish... place, but I can't tell you more or else they will hear and neutralize it. It might be our last chance of defeating them. The only way to do that is to kill them all at once... Oh my..." Coming straight for you is the largest army of cars you have ever seen. A semi-circle of cars a mile in radius and 3 ranks deep. There is no way that you can defeat the cars. There is just too many. The cars are all relatively new, and must be using their power steering to control themselves, but it dawns on you that none of them have any means of knowing where they are going. Something else must be tracking your position. Then it comes to you. A satellite must be viewing you. You happened to memorize the spy satellites some time ago for some reason, and know that the GAMBIT satellite would be in the optimal position to see you right now. But how do you stop a satellite?

[Urist Mc Dwarf]

Throw a piece of debris up. Angle it to bounce off a series of objects in the atmosphere and get ridiculously high and knock the spy satellite into nearby ones

[germanyfrance]

Fire a handheld laser straight at the satellite and into its camera, blinding it.