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Author Topic: I'm a platitudes dispensing machine  (Read 1778 times)

hops

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I'm a platitudes dispensing machine
« on: April 01, 2016, 09:33:46 am »

I feel like every time I open my mouth or type something out to console someone who are unhappy or in tough situations, they're just mentally rolling their eyes are tuning out things I say as useless platitudes. I'm not sure if that's because I might be unintentionally appearing as a know-it-all or whether my words are being discounted because I'm better off than them.

I'm not sure what I can do to be more useful to sad people. I suppose, I could study more psychology, but it's not like people listen to therapists. I mean, let's admit it, everyone just thinks therapists don't know what they're saying and never listen to them.

I just really don't know if I'm already right and they just aren't listening, or if my advice are as useless as they think, or if I'm just imagining this.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: I'm a platitudes dispensing machine
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2016, 09:36:03 am »

...

Cinder, you're one of the most helpful people in the Sad thread.

Seriously, stop doubting yourself.

Also, *hugs*.
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hops

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Re: I'm a platitudes dispensing machine
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2016, 08:01:21 pm »

...

Cinder, you're one of the most helpful people in the Sad thread.

Seriously, stop doubting yourself.

Also, *hugs*.
I just don't feel like anyone respect my attempt to help them. They just see me as a naïve optimist who is lying to them about the world to make them feel better. They just think that everything I say is wrong because I'm just a dumb kid who hasn't gone throug as much as they did.
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Tiruin

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Re: I'm a platitudes dispensing machine
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2016, 10:19:41 pm »

Err, Cin? How much of this is said by personal perception and how much of that is said by other people? :-\

I suppose, I could study more psychology, but it's not like people listen to therapists. I mean, let's admit it, everyone just thinks therapists don't know what they're saying and never listen to them.
"Everyone" must be very unaware of what therapy and the practice/application of psychology is, then.
Beware of sweeping generalizations. Also beware of when doubts influence your conclusions more, than the subtle musing it really is. You suppose you could study more psychology; do it. Whatever comes after that thought (ie That comparison of therapists), bring that with you as a hypothesis while you follow what you suppose can be done instead. You'll get to test that idea and see where you may be right and where you may be wrong, instead of staying stuck due to aversion behavior (or how we say 'Could've done this but I don't think so, so nope.')
« Last Edit: April 02, 2016, 01:33:51 am by Tiruin »
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Trapezohedron

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Re: I'm a platitudes dispensing machine
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2016, 11:37:02 pm »

The thing with things is that people dismiss attempts to cheer people up as platitudes mainly because they themselves do not believe in their capacity to achieve what you have stated before because their perceptions are muddled with their own discouraging opinions.
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Vector

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Re: I'm a platitudes dispensing machine
« Reply #5 on: April 02, 2016, 01:26:09 am »

-snip-
« Last Edit: March 17, 2017, 06:17:38 pm by Vector »
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

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Tiruin

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Re: I'm a platitudes dispensing machine
« Reply #6 on: April 02, 2016, 01:32:22 am »

Platitudes are meaningless only until we have gained the life experience which gives them meaning, at which point they become an excellent way to store some of the vital facets of our human reflections.

Carpe diem. You're ok, Cinder.
What they said o_o
And what Trapezohedron also said.
[In which I'm very tired and yet am still doing stuff like reading and writing x_x Sorry for my lacking post]
I was wondering why the title was like that as an aside.
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Trapezohedron

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Re: I'm a platitudes dispensing machine
« Reply #7 on: April 02, 2016, 02:47:13 am »

I must add that there's nothing wrong with trying to help. We don't know if a person in trouble wants to be helped or not so we must try.

But you cannot help people who refuse to help themselves out of their own situations.
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Tiruin

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Re: I'm a platitudes dispensing machine
« Reply #8 on: April 02, 2016, 02:52:19 am »

But you cannot help people who refuse to help themselves out of their own situations.
This, much. :-\
But in regards to your concerns, Cin, that doesn't hold for the people posting in the sad thread.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: I'm a platitudes dispensing machine
« Reply #9 on: April 02, 2016, 03:16:24 am »

Nothing wrong with platitudes. It can help a lot just to have someone say, "it'll be okay".

I just don't feel like anyone respect my attempt to help them. They just see me as a naïve optimist who is lying to them about the world to make them feel better. They just think that everything I say is wrong because I'm just a dumb kid who hasn't gone throug as much as they did.
No, people don't think that. I'd wager that most of us think you're a nice guy who's trying to help people. Things don't have to be substantial to be helpful.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: I'm a platitudes dispensing machine
« Reply #10 on: April 02, 2016, 03:58:25 am »

The question, really, is what you would consider adequate proof of your helpfulness. Even if they were to confirm your helpfulness, they could just be telling you this only so you'd piss off already.

The issue is that you can second-guess anyone's true motivations. The most pessimistic estimates would imply that everyone you know secretly hates you for a number of reasons. It's important to recognize, for one's peace of mind if nothing else, that this is probably incorrect and most people are saying what they appear to be saying regardless of what your consuming self-loathing may tell you, because conclusions drawn from self-loathing are infinitely recursive and thus likely imprecise when not entirely wrong.

Now consider the possibility that I am just engaging in a bit of well-intentioned lying to assuage your fears of being generally shit. After all, I don't know you. I haven't lived your life. I'm just here to get a brief rush of that know-it-all feeling at the expense of people who might as well not exist for all the relevance they have to my life (thus incurring no cost or risk to myself).

That possibility, you ought to recognize, is probably just plain old paranoia and guarding against socialization. A hallmark of shut-ins of various stripes. It is one of those things you had best not worry about, because a world in which everybody genuinely harbors nothing but resentment and contempt for you is a scary and unrealistically self-centered place to live in.
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