...Attempt to magic Laudata to be more subordinate.
((If there are going to be problems with an action can you inform people first?))
((Sure, unless Hilarity Ensues.))
Laudata has been so far quite obedient if not counting the whole "my lord" case, but there's always room for improvement, right?
2. Except when there isn't. "My lord", you hear whisper from left. You turn to look and see nobody. "My lord", now it comes from behind and again you see nobody. The whispers continue from random directions but there's never anyone.
"My lord, is something wrong?" asks Laudata.
Make orange juice
Make a fancy looking croissant.
1. A little creature size of big man's fist appears. It's four legged little monster, much like a hamster, but completely drenched in some liquid. It hisses at you at runs up your leg.
[5] You easily avoid it and give it a good kick, sending it flying into river. That's one problem dealt with.
1. A brown mask appears, featuring very impressive black moustache. You pick it up and shove it into your backpack for later inspection because two horse carts come from opposite directions. Despite the road being wide enough for them to pass each other without trouble, neither of drivers makes any attempt to do so. As such they end up face to face. Horses sniff each others and make horse greetings, but drivers both start yelling to other one to get out of the way. It doesn't take long for them to get off and start a fist fight.
Your Dice pouch shakes and makes horrible sounds, thankfully not loud enough to be heard by fighting drivers.
((That you have to go and see by yourself.))
((This is my main goal after surviving ))
"Anna... I'm deeply sorry for showing you this. But I didn't want to hide any secret from you, and now I know I made the right choice."
Soleus feels like tearing up. His voice becomes increasingly shaken.
"You are so very wise, you are the best thing magic brought in my life, I don't want to lose you."
That being said and after a tearful embrace, Soleus get a grip of himself and ponder on what to do next.
"I would like us to go back to our house, but the present situation doesn't allow it..." he says showing the Dice of Order.
"If we want to survive, I will have to pass this ordeal. But not now, I still don't feel safe so close from this place of destruction..."
Head out further past the river, to a greener place. If we are to find a seemingly safe spot, we will stop there.
"Sweetie, you don't need to worry so much. I trust my life in your hands without second thought and stand behind your decisions, whatever they may be. I know you mean well, even if it doesn't always end up so." Anna says and responds to your embrace with a kiss.
Far behind you multiple different inhuman roars join into the ruckus drowing voices of humans. Monsters fighting, no doubt. It's good you aren't there, and you wish peace on those poor souls who had to remain behind. Holding Anna's hand you turn and run into forest.
[5] You keep going a while until you arrive into a dale filled with old deciduous trees. Some of them a bearing fruits you have never seen before and berries are a plenty. Few small brooks meet in middle forming shallow pond of crystal clear water. The whole place is radiating peace and calmness. You don't remember ever seeing or hearing about about place like this before.
Cast a spell to return my body to normal. As in, no wounds, wacky tattoos, or feathered eyebrows. Then magically return my house to the state it was in before whatever enemy was just inside it came along.
Finally, use a spell to determine what might break Dice of Order.
4. Full body restoration works fine, restoring your body into its natural state. You find out that lack of pain is very pleasant state.
4. Stuff that was thrown outside floats gently back inside into their usual places, though you are notified that something is missing.
((I smell metagaming.))
Your next spell just fizzles. It completely confuses magic. It doesn't have slightest idea what you mean. Perhaps as a response your Dice pouch bounces violently and makes sounds unpleasant enough to make you cover your ears. When you hastily pour its content on nearest flat surface you find out one Die of Order is missing and some clear dust has appeared inside the pouch. It doesn't take genius to figure out that Die was broken, which is completely unheard of. These things have been around since beginning of the world.
"oh ho! This is trouble. Heavy, expensive, and nearly unusable. Well, well, well. Wild magic sre is that indeed. And if this is what a six does, I worry what a one will do."
I attempt to scoop a bit of orange juice with my very heavy goblet, and then drink it. after this, I will place the goblet in the middle of the bone throne. Satisfied (or not, depending on how that action resolves) I steel myself to cast a failure. I cast ... Embellish Barrel: Add Goblet Holder!
((I'm not gonna roll for something so mundane as filling goblet with juice, even if the goblet is heavy one and barrel rather high. Assume automatic success here.))
1. The barrel grows number of stumpy wooden legs and pair of big muscular arms.
[6] It charges at you far faster than it should be able to. This leads your dodge being very hasty and you end up on your arse by the animated grave stone. The barrel charges at you again.
I cast 'Summon small Hospital inhabited by helpful and Hot Nurses' and hop I don't Summon an Orkish Healer's Tent Shudder.
Autofail.
Absolutely nothing happens. Magic isn't listening you, it isn't here at all. You feel complete lack of magical connection. It's like you were a normal non-magical human.
You turn to inspect what you tripped on. It's a sharp piece of black stone sticking out of ground and it's covered by faintly glowing network of very fine inscriptions and runes.
Behind the hill monstrous voices roar over screams of human suffering. It's as if your chaos entities of assistance are fighting something.
Future Wild Magic (9): 4 2 2 4 5 4 5 4 3
Body:
Echantments:
Artifacts of power:
Moustache mask
House:
Followers:
Other:
Basic travel gear
Woodcutters axe
Two big kithcen knives
Some food
To coastal city: 3 days left
Future Wild Magic: 3 6 2 3 3 2 2 2 1 1
Body:
Blue hair
Tattoo of Third Eye on forehead
Hundred paper cuts on arms, soaked in mud
Completely covered in mud
Echantments:
2 Minor curses of annoyance
Artifacts of power:
Conceptual robe of Path, Guide and Restraint: Worn
House of doors:
Food reserves: Sparkly, truly fantastic, and hallucinogenic!
Portal doors
Opulent stone office: lava on floor
Opulent stone office: rug on fire
Followers:
Other:
Driven away
Out of magic
Future Wild Magic: 1 1 5 6 2 4 3 3 2 4
Body:
Muddy
Echantments:
Magical video conference between certain mages
Artifacts of power:
Eye of Forbidden Sight
Flying house:
Controlled by magical orbs.
Holographic command room
Kitchen: Little damaged
No food
Something new
??
Followers:
Magical mail order wife: Anna
Damn perfect
Traces of violence on throat
Nature of self
Earthly golem: Tec.
Made from stone, wood and vines
First Commandment: Protect Anna
??
Other:
Aspiring educator
Too sexy illusions: Angry maid
Golden rings and Failed proposal
Calm dale
Future Wild Magic: 5 3 5 3 2 3 3 5 3 4
Body:
Echantments:
Artifacts of power:
The camp:
Food reserves: sausages, cinnamon rolls and huge barrel of orange juice
Grotesque statue of dead mage
Wooden bone throne
Bejeweled golden goblet
One step ladder
Followers:
Other:
Long drinking straw: Blocked
Scale mail pants (appearance only)
Future Wild Magic (9): 5 5 4 1 2 3 6 3 6
Body:
Sand in pants
Coated in blood and ink
Echantments:
Magical video conference between certain mages
Artifacts of power:
Whispering Staff of Earth (1d4+2)
10 Balanced spell scrolls
Calin's Shredder
Heartbane
Scroll of Healing [6]
Potion of Firebreath [6]
Ancient tower:
Something's missing
Reinforced impenetrable stone dome
Hidden gate
Grid of miniature suns
Simple boulder sentinel
Few simple golems
Siege engines
Silly face carriage
Ermonous animated granite statue of Samuel Marr
Granite statue: This is a ermonous granite statue. All craftsmanship is of the highest quality. It's encrusted with diamond, ruby, quarz and gold. On the item is an image of Calin the Crime Lord. Calin is missing arm. Calin is crying. This artwork relates to thievery of Calin's Shredder and subseguent mutilation of Calin.
Mystery plant in iron and fire cage
Ward of Ingorane: Dome undetectable to Calin and those who associate with him
The Forest: Two huge broken stone ARMs
The Forest: On fire
Followers:
Other:
Lots of maps
Empty paper sheets
Owner of Calin's severed arm
Future Wild Magic (9): 2 4 1 2 5 5 3 1 3
Body:
Echantments:
Magical video conference between certain mages
Sounds of subordinates
Artifacts of power:
Staff of Generic Crafting [2d3]
The Fortress:
Carved in mountain
Long abandonded
Signs of cataclysm
My halls smells of rich mystery
Functional
Main hall
Ornate skylight
Swarm of stone spider golems
Scouting
Followers:
New species: Laudata
5,4
Firstborn
Minor arachnophobia
Other:
Well prepared for travel
Quest for godhood: Creator of new species
Small Favours: Possibly incoming
Glimpse of magic
Redefined topography
Six tents
Few supply crates
Inhabitants:
Many dead peasants
? living and dressed peasants
Permanently Area-Bound Extraplaner Chaos beings of Assistance
Sea monster in lake
Monster mash
Enchantment:
Artifacts of power:
Advanced Antimagic Warfare Sentinel Model XI
Target found: crazyabe