...Hm. The fortress needs more people and more materials.
Cast [a spell to expand the fortress and increase its capabilities offensive, defensive, and luxury].
6. For a moment you and everyone you can see experience moment of weightlessness. Your feets leave floor and your head touch walls. Then your weight comes back and you find yourself back on floor. Or maybe this is wall, because you see people standing on other vertical surfaces. Or... ceiling? You are having a lot of problems with directions right now.
There's a new chocolate waterfall in middle of the hall (which also seems much larger than before) that falls from... your throne? And falls into a plate? Someone near it sticks her hand into it and licks it clean. Other people scattered on various surfaces are in various state of panic. A face size of elephant appears on floor/wall/ceiling next to you. It speaks but its voice comes from opposite direction.
"Sorry boss, we appear to be under magical attack or something. I'm having problems trying to understand what is going on, but there's serious
spatial distortions inside me right now. I may be able to control
it will take few minutes. In meanwhile I recommend YOU DO NOT MOVE."
Solid advice. And another Die turns into dust in your pocket.
"I don't mind" Have the 1 of my dragon followers stay here to protect the town while I go take some gold and the 2 gems to my cave so I may start my hoard
"Great! I think we have a deal then." Lord Swellingham laughs nervously. Few minutes later a soldier returns with fist sized opal lump, still partially covered in stone it was cut from, and with equally rough emerald that would comfortably fit on human palm. Of course your palms are a lot bigger and lack of fingers makes it very hard to hold on them. Your business partner is kind enough to provide a bag for easier transportation.
You leave one dragon behind and fly away to your cave. Speaking of what cave you do mean? Your last sleeping place? Because that can hardly be called a cave.
Well, contact the others.
"I really don't know how to put this, but, well... I was contacted by a talking, gentlemanly muffin in my dreams last night. He asked my to make a land bridge, and I agreed, on the condition that I would get some answers when I woke up. No sheets of paper, interesting facts, or books seem to be 'in arm's reach,' so I figured that one of you might know something."
"This is... kinda crazy, honestly. Something tells me it was a lot more than just my subconscious taking a drug trip, but some actual knowledge would go a long way towards reassuring me that I'm not insane."
Arken Frost contacted, but magic doesn't seem to find Soleus.
Dominic runs into another room, shutting the door behind him, staying low, and seeking a weapon.
"Let's see. Find battleaxe? Oh hell no, it will appear, swinging toward my face, and be a long lost brother of the damned squid out there. Enchant carpet? I already have a tentacle monster in the front yard. A quicksand rug just wouldn't match the decor, anyway. Decide What to Do? Oh gods, it wold render me completely unable to think straight. Make bubbles have your eyes eaten. Make a map, giant sea monsters. Make a piece of paper - cut to hell. What to do what to do?"
Huddling in the farthest corner of the room, with whatever he found to shield himself with, Dominic tries desparately to come up with a spell that won't ultimately make his situation a thousand times worse.
And then he casts Tidy Up The Kitchen. Because that place is a disaster area, twice over. And he's screwed either way.
Your jump into another room and slam door shut loud enough to wake dead. Definitely getting attention of the squid now.
1. Something happens in kitchen. Some of this somethings expands far enough to pierce wall of the room you are hiding in. A giant obsidian spear. It sends splinters flying and knocks a painting off the wall.
Oh hey, did your Die just break? I think it did.
As for Tec, no, he's not a robot. No self-diagnostics. No mouth to talk with.
Soleus waits, but nothing happens.
"Silly me, Tec is a golem ! :9"
Touching it is out of question, I don't want to end up as a fried mage. So realizing he can't do much for now, Soleus casts a spell of "Lumberjack: Horizontal Bisection of Vegetal Entities with a Trunk Diameter superior to 30cm at 20cm above ground level" in a radius of 50m.
1. And nothing happens. Odd. Very.
Brian and Noel keep walking. Tec finally stops kicking ground. He pulls his arms up and behind him, pressing them against his wings so hard that both get damaged. And he just keeps doing that, very quickly breaking his own wings. If he was human he would have already pulled his arms out of sockets by twisting arms that much, but being golem has certain advantages.
Actually now that you paid attention to the trees here you notice something slightly more unusual: the pattern of trees and bushes form. They form lines. Curving lines. Like this:
Clearly unnatural. Definite and deliberate pattern.
Fix my eyes via the power of magic
4. The only thing magic is good for. It is really nice to see again. It was short blindness but it did teach you how much you take some things granted. Now then, your fixed eyes do confirm what your ears told you: you are alone in living room. Doesn't look like mom haven't bothered to redecorate since last time you visited.
Future Wild Magic (8): 3 2 1 2 5 6 6 3
Mind:
Knowledge of best investigator in the world
Skills of best investigator in the world
Basic spear training
Body:
Lung issues
Echantments:
Artifacts of power:
House:
Home?
Followers:
Other:
Legend of imperial investigator
Quest: Mage hunt
Distractions: 1
Future Wild Magic: 2 5 1 1 6 4 5 6 2 2
Body:
Green dragon
Echantments:
Artifacts of power:
House:
Followers:
White dragon
Other:
Rough opal
Rough emerald
Quest: Burn magic
Mining town of Lord Swellingham
Business partners
White dragon protector
Future Wild Magic (8): 2 3 1 4 5 1 5 1
Body:
Mane
Echantments:
Magical video conference between Arken Frost, Samuel Marr and Soleus Arendar
Artifacts of power:
Eye of Forbidden Sight
Flying villa:
Expanded land
Controlled by magical orbs
Holographic command room
Fully shieded with forcefield
Protects from: physical forces, repel
Unsteady small elevating platform
Servants:
Huge bearded butler: Joshua Higgs
Young pervert butler: Brian Klein
Foul mouther maid: Noel Peck
Silent statue maid: MARIE CONLEY SIR
Followers:
Magical mail order wife: Anna
Damn perfect
Golden wedding ring
Nature of self
Steel golem: Tec.
Broken wings
Electrically charged
First Commandment: Protect Anna
Second Commandment: Keep some distance, you walking tazer.
Having serious issues
Damaged arms
Other:
Aspiring educator
Golden wedding ring
Memories stolen
Book: Excavation of Zaaerath
Quest: Destruction of memory thiefs
Future Wild Magic (8): 3 4 5 2 3 2 1 1
Body:
Pulsing light on forehead
500 papercuts
Shredded clothes
Echantments:
Protection from Giant Orange Juice Barrel
Communicate with Giant Orange Juice Barrel
Reflect Spell
Artifacts of power:
8 Seeds of defiant life
Giant wooden centipede mount: CenTreepede
The house:
Comfortable
Three stories
Kitchen:
Bit burned
Obsidian weapon field
Wheat grows through floor planks
Popping
Papercut whirlwind
Front yard:
Sucking mudfield, charmed
Iron bed (torture device)
Wooden bone throne
Two green man blocks
Followers:
Other:
Scale mail pants (appearance only)
Quest: Resurrection trees for capitals
Flying great white shark
Frenzy
Hurt
Flying giant squid
Promise of storm
Broken miniature pirate boat
Distractions: 1
Artifacts of power: Interactive worldmap ball
So damn heavy
"Doombox"
Controlled
Mark of Green Man
Now playing Traveling crapsack
Multilegged
Charmed
Other: Grotesque statue of dead mage
Carved poem of "Wild Magic" on pedestal
One step ladder
Mapball holder log
"Wild Magic for Dummies" pamphlet
Long drinking straw: Blocked
Future Wild Magic (11): 4 2 5 4 1 6 6 5 4 6
Body:
Clothes: Burned
Bandaged: Burned too
Touch of Phoenix: Flaming red hair and eyes
Hairy
Echantments:
Magical video conference between Arken Frost, Samuel Marr and Soleus Arendar
Fire breath
Artifacts of power:
Whispering Staff of Earth (1d4+2)
5 Balanced spell scrolls
Calin's Shredder
Heartbane
Scroll of Teleporting [5]
Scroll of Summon Weapon [6]
Tent in Tenhe:
Ward of Ignorance
Ancient tower:
Something is missing
Reinforced impenetrable stone dome
Hidden gate
Grid of miniature suns
Simple boulder sentinel
Five simple golems
Siege engines
Silly face carriage
Ermonous animated granite statue of Samuel Marr.
Broken arms
Granite statue: This is a ermonous granite statue. All craftsmanship is of the highest quality. It's encrusted with diamond, ruby, quarz and gold. On the item is an image of Calin the Crime Lord. Calin is missing arm. Calin is crying. This artwork relates to thievery of Calin's Shredder and subseguent mutilation of Calin.
Mystery plant in iron and fire cage
Ward of Ignorance: Dome undetectable to Calin and those who associate with him
The Forest: Now Ashlands
Ashlands: Two huge broken stone arms
Ashlands: Forest gone
Ashlands: 9 treasure boxes
Ashlands: Brand new tree
Ashlands: Pond of flesh
Followers:
Other:
Lots of maps
Three empty paper sheets
Owner of Calin's severed arm
Book: Autobiography of The Most Glorious King Cotlal the First
Pair of sandstone cubes
Quest: Terraforming path
Future Wild Magic (7): 6 2 4 5 2 2 6
Body:
White dragonish scales
Echantments:
Magical video conference between Arken Frost, Samuel Marr and Soleus Arendar
Ageless
Immortal
Shapeshifter
Artifacts of power:
Staff of Generic Crafting [2d3]
Slippery scrying orb
In a loose fitting copper bowl
Personal teleportation bracelet
Grand Kinetic ring
The Fortress:
Flying
Reconstructed
Skeletons in closet
Precision mining beam
Architecture is:
Impressive
Fucked up on so many levels
Intelligent
Self-replenishing
Self-modifying
Overtly helpful
Throne room
Ornate skylight
Mage's workshop
Self-replenishing
Containment circle
Dispel array
Forge
Inhabitants: 20
New species
Not so polite
Personal teleportation bracelets
Monster army
Tied to fortress's power
Chrome shelled
Followers:
Laudata
Other:
Quest for godhood: In progress
Quest: World war
Small Favours
Glimpse of magic
Other:
Damn hot
Firstborn of new species
Minor arachnophobia
Artifacts of power:
Personal teleportation bracelet
Kinetic ring
Echantments:
Shapeshifter
Strategic genius
Followers:
5 giant demon wolf golems
Army