JANA Press Release:
The Burning Bushes
This weekend, our JANA faced off against Kyoto in what has been called "The Worst Match in JANA history" by the observers and those who survived.
"It started out OK..." one of the survivors from tank 'Baker' stated.
"We had practiced formations in open fields. Wedges, firing lines, turtles, Panzerkeil, you know, things that made the entire group stronger. We where caught a little off guard by the tight spacing of the map. Both sides ended up setting traps, getting into positions so the enemy would die when they came close. You know, bunkering down. Whoever made the first move would be shot to bits. Both sides held position for a little bit, but our Leader started screaming at us to rush. He said something about artillery coming down unless we moved in. We moved in and set off the trap with our tank, and even managed to take down the enemy leader with our first hit!"
But things quickly went down from there.
"They ended up shooting back at us, and we lost our turret and tracks. We quickly got out of there just as they where shooting at us and everything set on fire. Those things light up really easily!"
Indeed, the Sherman's flammability was a huge issue for this match. Out of all the tanks destroyed, most of them went up in a fire. A survivor of the tank "Fox" mentions how a nearby Sherman was set on fire-then put out- three times in a row almost instantly.
"They where really nice to us after we got out though! Our opponents came out of their armor to make sure we are OK and to help us heal. The Gunner had been knocked-out, but they brought her back good as new! I really really surprised when our leader yelled for us to get out of the way! He shot at them while they where helping us! I was so surprised I almost had a heart attack! Everyone was OK though, and they went back to the tank and ran away from the StuG and Shermans."
On another front, there was Fox, the only other surviving crew.
"It was terrifying, seeing Abel go up like that. There was a second trap up ahead, we went in it to avoid letting them flaking the main column, but it didn't do much. Abel had an amazing driver and got into position before us. We where supposed to defend its back, but couldn't get there in time. They hit it from the front and back. It lit up several times more then I believed was even possible! I thought that there would be at least one survivor, seeing how well they fought it the first couple of times. They say that one man died trying to pull the leader out, and that he could have gotten away if he just left alone. How brave! Anyway, now
we where flanked, we tried driving into a corner where we would be safe but got hit anyway. The battles happened so close! We all ran out of the tank. The enemy looked like they where waiting for us to leave, then shot the thing. It set on fire instantly! We would have gone up like all the others if we hadn't left!"
This had left three tanks, the StuG III flanked by two Shermans. Of these tanks, there where no survivors.
"And we had barely scratched them at this point. That leader I was so proud of taking out? He got healed up the very next turn! Man, we where so unlucky. Like I was saying earlier, the StuG and pals used the Baker roadblock to move a long way around a hedge. The enemy mostly held their position, moving to another ambush spot. This had taken forever, so everyone was almost out of fuel and our StuG was very desperate. And angry, judging by how he shot at those poor guys out of their armor! I heard they had family in one of the other tanks that went up in flames. Naturally, they ran forward again. I think he was hoping the StuG had heavy enough front armor that he would be able to pound them to dust without retaliation if he could just get into the right position. But the enemy was waiting, remember how I said that? And at that distance, how could they miss? Our opponents got two good hits in on his side while he was getting into position, one of them made it leak its limited fuel. They got it into position all right, but one more hit would set them on fire. They shot-they had the
best gunner I ever knew- one of the enemies but only managed to blow up the tracks. The return fire managed to hit, it didn't have a chance of getting past that armor but it went up in flames like every other tank! I think they tried fighting it, but it only got worse and worse. Now they where gone too!"
All that was left where the two Shermans. Fox crew reports their battle on the other half of the map.
"They had a really bad position here, three tanks lined up to fire at a single point and no way around it. It was almost suicide to go through it! But Dog tried, running as fast as they could to try getting past. The first hit made a fire, and it kept getting bigger and bigger as the enemy shot. They had no chance of surviving that! The last Sherman, Charlie, used the burning Dog as a shield and made it past unharmed! If only we had done something like that in the first place, we might have won. Anyway, Charlie shot the enemy leader, blowing them up in a single hit! It was great, it proved that we weren't complete failures! But there was just too many at this point. All of the enemies finally broke out of their hidey holes and swarmed them. He tried to dodge around, but there was nothing he could do, and he almost ran out of fuel anyway. We should have just surrendered, but...I guess we couldn't do it at that point. Once the last tank was down, we surrendered just fine. I'm not sure any of us could shoot at them after seeing this anyway. We would have run out of fuel even if we could get to one of the working tanks in time, then we would have lost by scoring!"
We asked the Headmaster of John and Nick Academy what this means for the Tankery program.
"It is unfortunate, but I believe the loss came from poor strategy and our overestimation of the Sherman Tanks capabilities. Had we been the ones to sit back and let them come to us, the results would have been completely reversed. We lost many fine students in this battle today, boys and girls who gave their all for our school. As is our policy, their Free Ride for Tankery is transferred to their Next of Kin, or designated persons in the case of a written will. We will be giving additional privileges, including collage funding, for those participating in Tankery in order to fill the massive hole this left in our team. All that loss of skill has irreversibly harmed this team. As for the Tanks, we will either be replacing them with something less hazardous, or adding Wet Stowage to avoid having this problem in the future. Nonetheless, JANA congratulates Kyoko on their victory, and thanks them for treating those who abandoned their tanks with kindness."
Funerals where held in the graveyard beside the Academy left over from when it was a Church-mostly closed casket and cremations at the School's expense. The Gunner of Baker, currently the most-skilled combatant left alive (In addition to being a member of the academy's band) played a rendition of
Amazing Grace for her fallen comrades as they are lowered into the ground. She calls it a new tradition, something she had done first for her siblings (Reportedly, the Gunner of Easy and Driver of Abel, two highly skilled Tankers who had lost their lives in the fighting) which she now does for everyone she had fought next to.
"They always loved that song, and I feel like it is a great way to remember them. They knew what they where getting into, and they had no regrets. None of them did, and none of us will. Though they are gone from this world, their Tenacity and Survivability live on in each and every one of us. Tankery lives on in JANA's heart, and as long as we draw breath, we will keep going strong. I am glad that the Headmaster has pledged his support to fireproofing the tank, I saw one of the Foxes jump at a cake filled with candles meant to cheer him up."
Final Map:
(("Baker" was down at Q7, but was pushed. The green line is the indestructible Hedge, essentially forming a maze that the battle took place in.))
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Topic: Tankery 2: Season 1 FINALS: SYDNEY VS. KYOKO (still accepting moar people) (Read 45888 times)