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Author Topic: Omega legion: Bluff Harder!  (Read 51450 times)

Zormod

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Re: Omega legion: Merc Madness
« Reply #450 on: May 31, 2016, 08:13:05 pm »

Three votes for asking goblins what to do.
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Ozarck

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Re: Omega legion: Merc Madness
« Reply #451 on: June 01, 2016, 05:34:03 pm »

ALright, unless there is a sudden objection, you guys all head on up to the goblin camp. You head up one of the little hidden paths, and at the top of the cliffs you gather a little escort of scouts who direct you and make your presence known. You are not invited into the camp, there being more of you this time than last, but a space is made for you in a grassy area near one of the herds. the smell of lizard pig goes unnoticed by most of you, and the elders of the camp come and stand in a semicircle facing you. One of them pokes the giant tortoise in the shell with a stick. They all shy away from the zombie thogh, and look distressed at his inclusion in the meeting, but do not verbally object.

Pancaek

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Re: Omega legion: Merc Madness
« Reply #453 on: June 02, 2016, 02:19:24 pm »

translate for my teammates

((I'm sorry, I'm so tired right now that I can't even))
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DoctorMcTaalik

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Re: Omega legion: Merc Madness
« Reply #454 on: June 02, 2016, 09:59:36 pm »

((Time to put that -2 charisma to good use, I guess.))

Using all the enthusiasm, optimism, and bravado I can muster,  dictate the following to Clunkers:

REJOICE, NOBLE SAVAGES! WE HAVE RETURNED VICTORIOUS- NOT ONLY DID WE MANAGE TO SLAUGHTER A CONTINGENT OF THE ENEMY ARMY- AND LET ME TELL YOU, WHAT A GLORIOUS SLAUGHTER IT WAS- BUT A SIMULTANEOUS RECONNAISSANCE MISSION OF THEIR BASE WAS EXECUTED WITHOUT TROUBLE. CONSEQUENTLY, WE NOW HAVE IMPORTANT INTEL ON THE LOCATION OF THE MERCENARIES, AND SHOULD BE BETTER PREPARED TO ELIMINATE THEM.

I DO BELIEVE THAT, IN LIGHT OF OUR ACHIEVEMENT, REFRESHMENTS AND LIBATIONS ARE IN ORDER. BATTLE IS HUNGRY WORK, AND THAT UNDEAD LEGIONNAIRE IN PARTICULAR IS MORE PLEASANT ON A FULL STOMACH.

HOWEVER, THAT IS NOT WHY WE RETURN TO YOU. WE RETURN TO SEEK YOUR COUNSEL ON PLANS MOVING FORWARD, AND TO WORK OUT AN ACCEPTABLE STRATEGY FOR SAVING YOUR COLLECTIVE ASSES. IN PARTICULAR, I HAVE A CERTAIN REQUEST IN MIND- BUT THAT CAN WAIT. LET US FEAST FIRST.
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Ozarck

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Re: Omega legion: Merc Madness
« Reply #455 on: June 04, 2016, 12:09:46 am »

The elders sit thoughtfully, and then speak. "We will discuss over a meal, as is proper. Our hospitality has been flawed, not to have offered first." And one calls out for a runner. then the goblins sit in silence for a while, until a large pot is brought and set before you all. A pile of large rocks is arranged around the pot to keep it upright. A goblin gestures to Terrance, at the bowl on his head, while Hom is given a shallow bowl (assuming Hom is still alive), and Mordred is given another bowl. The goblins step back from the pot, looking in awkward expectation at Cho-Ja. The chiefs receive small bowls as well, and eat a few spoonfuls before setting their bowls in their laps.

In late winter, a fox played in the snow, bounding along, and rolling happily, until she encountered a snow demon. 'I'll eat you! growled the demon! The fox leaped back, shaking in fear. 'I don't understand. Are you hungry? I am far from nourishing for a creature such as you.' the demon grabbed the fox, and snarled. 'It is the way of my kind.' 'Oh? I have never met another like you. What are your kind like?' The demon began to tell the fox of more of his kind, and their way of killing. the fox kept asking questions as the sun arose. The demon heard the dripping of water off the branches, and felt the warmth of the sun. 'I'll eat you!' He growled. But it was too late. He had become too small, and the fox was able to slip free of his grasp and disappear into the forest, while the demon sought shelter from the sun.

A monkey found a honeycomb, flowing deep in honey. it stuck it's hand in and pulled out a gobful and ate. reaching in again, it was stung by a fierce bee. it jerked it's hand free, howling in pain. Determined, the monkey stuck it's hand in again, this time to be stung by five bees. It jerked it's hand out, bringing forth another gob of honey, and several more bees, which stung it in the face.fearful, the monkey swatted the bees away and looked into the hole, careful to keep it's head as far from the hole as possible. It could see nothing. A fierce buzzing rose up within, and the monkey howled and fled far away.

Two snakes met in the grass. Each snake encountered the tail of the other. Each snake opened it's mouth wide, and began ot devour the other. But one snake was stronger, and consumed the other from the tail forward, until it found itself full, and sucking on it's own tail.

A little dog wanderd the hills, until it found a shallow cave. Wondering what was inside, the dog sniffed around the edge of the cave. Hearing movement inside, and smelling a bear, the dog jumped and barked noisily. The bear slept. boldened, the dog entered the cave and sniffed around the bear. the bear shifted in it's sleep, and the dog jumped back and barked again. the bear slept. Emboldened, the little dog began to imagine itself to be a mighty victor over a powerful foe. The dog leeaped at the bear barking, and bit the bear on the ear. The bear awoke, grunting, and sat upright. Teh dog, unaware of it's danger, snapped at the feet of the bear. The bear's gaze fell on teh little dog, and it roared. Fearful, the little dog fled the cave, tail between it's legs.

The hell is this nonsense?
It's like the insufferable bastards are mocking you. Why are we even helping these meandering fools again?

syvarris

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Re: Omega legion: Merc Madness
« Reply #456 on: June 04, 2016, 06:18:11 pm »

Mordred rolls his eyes, and lets out an exaggerated sigh.  "These idiots... Yes, slow is fine, don't be greedy, watch for tricks, and understand your foes.  Twelve words can summarize all four stupid stories.  Why are we even asking these idiots what to do?  We already know how to take out the mercs."

DoctorMcTaalik

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Re: Omega legion: Merc Madness[
« Reply #457 on: June 04, 2016, 06:52:19 pm »

Terrence ignores Mordred, and passes its helmet to the goblin.

"THAT IS QUITE ALRIGHT, WE ARE USED TO LESS THAN COURTEOUS TREATMENT. SUCH IS LIFE IN THE LEGION.

FORMALITIES AND FAIRY TALES ASIDE, I HAVE A REQUEST TO MAKE OF YOU. WE ARE FEW IN NUMBER, AND THE MERCENARIES ARE MANY. HOW MANY YOUNG SOLDIERS CAN YOU OFFER US? THEY NEED NOT BE WELL TRAINED, SO LONG AS THEY CAN CARRY A WEAPON. BEAR IN MIND THAT THE FATE OF YOUR PEOPLE IS AT STAKE."


Talky talk
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Pancaek

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Re: Omega legion: Merc Madness
« Reply #458 on: June 04, 2016, 07:07:44 pm »

"Statement: Disregard the tentacled one's request.

Annoyed statement: They have told us before that their people are not able to fight the mercs. You would have remembered as such, had you half a brain.

Statement: That is quite true, Mordred. This one mostly wanted to come here because I find their riddles amusing, and also to allow my organic comrades to rest up after the fight. Not all of us can go on without sleep, food or rest. This one will never quite understand how you can operate with all of those annoyances. And all that water, sloshing around inside of you. This one can hardly imagine."
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Unholy_Pariah

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Re: Omega legion: Merc Madness
« Reply #459 on: June 05, 2016, 01:08:09 am »

Cho Ja.

raid the food while i attempt to discern whats going on. magically learn how to talk.


"Poison in the food stores, ambush them when they try to fetch more?"
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Clearly running multiple missions at the same time is a terrible idea.  The epic battle to see which team can cock it up worse has escalated again.

And Larry kinda gets blueballed in all this; just left with a raging bone spear and no where to put it.

Ozarck

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Re: Omega legion: Merc Madness
« Reply #460 on: June 06, 2016, 07:04:53 am »

I forgot that Cho didn't know how to talk. or at least has not talked up til now.

Anyway, there's nothing actionable for me, except that Terrance gets a bowlful and Cho eats right out of the pot again.

spazyak

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Re: Omega legion: Merc Madness
« Reply #461 on: June 06, 2016, 09:34:49 am »

Head out down the road to where I last saw the rest of omega legion. Try to find tracks or something.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2016, 04:05:30 pm by spazyak »
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GENERATION 31:
The first time you see this, copy it into your signature on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Ravioli Ravioli, the old broad died so now I play a Demon Loli.
Sig-texts!

syvarris

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Re: Omega legion: Merc Madness
« Reply #462 on: June 06, 2016, 03:50:22 pm »

Mordred flinches when Cho'ja speaks, but quickly returns to an expression of passive annoyance.

"Robot, just ask them to provide a place for us to sleep.  Sitting here is doing me no good, and the sooner I sleep, the sooner I can get back to killing the damn mercs."

Rest the night, or however long it takes for us organics to recharge our abilities.  If we can run the next day too, ask Clunkers and Terrance to work their farseeing magic and find another raiding party to hunt.

Pancaek

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Re: Omega legion: Merc Madness
« Reply #463 on: June 06, 2016, 04:12:26 pm »

Clunkers nods, and adresses the elders again

"Request: the organic members of my team request a place to sleep, to recuperate their energy for another attack in the morning. Menawhile, this one will attemt to locate the next mercenary warband for us to attack."

Request sleeping place for the organics, as said above. While they sleep, do my calculations to find another warband. Do these calculations more slowly, so as not to burn out like last time.
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Ozarck

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Re: Omega legion: Merc Madness
« Reply #464 on: June 07, 2016, 05:12:30 pm »

Head out down the road to where I last saw the rest of omega legion. Try to find tracks or something.
You head out before dawn, fed and ready to go. Halfway there you get the distinct felling that you are being watched. Followed.

Mordred flinches when Cho'ja speaks, but quickly returns to an expression of passive annoyance.

"Robot, just ask them to provide a place for us to sleep.  Sitting here is doing me no good, and the sooner I sleep, the sooner I can get back to killing the damn mercs."

Rest the night, or however long it takes for us organics to recharge our abilities.  If we can run the next day too, ask Clunkers and Terrance to work their farseeing magic and find another raiding party to hunt.
Clunkers nods, and adresses the elders again

"Request: the organic members of my team request a place to sleep, to recuperate their energy for another attack in the morning. Menawhile, this one will attemt to locate the next mercenary warband for us to attack."

Request sleeping place for the organics, as said above. While they sleep, do my calculations to find another warband. Do these calculations more slowly, so as not to burn out like last time.
Lodgings are had by all. Mordred and the others are recharged by midnight or so. Clunkers sits and carefully calibrates his farseeing to find more hunting parties. It takes all night. As dawn approaches he locates one. Twelve beings - thirteen. And they are heading straight from Omega Base the merc fort toward your normal meeting place. Hah hah. Not Omega Base at all. Nope. that would be a silly direction. Hah hah. I never said Omega. What are you looking at. Stop looking at me that way. see? It says merc fort right there. -blinkblinkblink-
« Last Edit: June 07, 2016, 05:27:53 pm by Ozarck »
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