Things here have been confusing lately. People have stepped up to run the place, taken one look around, and decided that maybe someone else would prefer a turn.
Well, now that turn is mine. First thing to do is take stock of who's left, and what needs doing.
What a mess. The entire old fortress to the north is sealed off, with a lot of our old goods still inside. Thankfully, the F.U.C.K.U.N.I.C.O.R.N.S. channel seems to have drained all of its magma. Still, a careless lever-pull could re-awaken the whole device, and that's not something I'd like to risk.
A more immediate concern is the prospecting tunnel the old fort dug along the magma. If we want to get our smithing up to speed, we'll need to go out of our way to avoid it.
More than a quarter of the fortress is in the military. Which sounds impressive until you realize that the fortress is less than fifty dwarves.
Our food stocks are looking good, though the fact that the kitchen is allowed to cook seeds and booze is worrisome.
Thankfully, we have some horses around, in case the food situation gets dire. But I have some other plans on that front, too.
And our lawless hole is, at least, free of crime.
As for me...
A distant ancestor of mine was famed for never giving up, for fighting for what he needed.
I mean, what he needed was apparently some ore that didn't exist in the fort, and he was fighting other dwarves who told him that it was impossible, but hey, progress has to come from somewhere.
Speaking of....
As someone who works the fields, I'm always nervous about that cave river. Now that I'm in charge, I have some ideas about how to make it safer.
Oh yes, and also about how the largest field in our farm isn't even ready to till, yet.
One of the problems I noticed on my initial look about the fort was this. Apparently a previous overseer was convinced that human caravans needed a back way in, despite the paved road out front. The road's already being worked on, so I might as well let it finish, but I can stop our stoneworkers from putting important work on hold to go smooth a hallway.
At least the still is up and running in some capacity. I'll definitely be trying to build up our booze supply. But for booze, we need plants.
This'll do nicely. Carve out a large area, and set up channels and floodgates so we can irrigate it on demand. No more of this "waiting for the cave to flood" nonsense. We're Dwarves, not Elves! We change nature to suit our needs, not the other way around!
Even the mountain bends to our will!
... Okay, yeah, that's just a fancy way of saying "I ordered a storeroom for seeds to be carved out near the farms". Still applies, though. Speaking of the seeds....
There. Now we won't starve to death because of an overzealous chef.
And the large field is ready! This will only be temporary, as I plan to abandon the riverside fields come winter. Still, that's half a year away, and that means we can build up a surplus of plump helmets.
Our bedrooms are... not extravagant. But they suffice.
It's almost impossible to think with all of these blasted reports about some building somewhere being unreachable. I suspect there's a problem somewhere with the road, but I can't seem to pinpoint it.
Hmm... all access to the road itself seems to be good, and there's nothing else being built. Maybe he's trying to get a stone from the old fort?
There's some nasty critters creepin' around up there, and they won't give up without a fight.
Neither will we.
No loafing! Hopefully, a pair of peasants will be able to pick up all the odd jobs that need doing around here.
Like gathering wood. We'll be needing plenty of barrels before my plans are complete.
Also a bucket, apparently. And some coffins. Still, J Woodward II's sacrifice for the sake of our new farm will not be forgotten.
Although I do wonder why he tried to swim up the river instead of climbing out of the channel he just dug?
Aha! The creation of an artifact will draw in more migrants.
In the mean time... The channels and floodgates were completed just in time for the river to flood anyway. Still, the fate of our crops no longer depend on how the river is feeling.
And we can cut off the water supply just as easily. With less time spent waiting for the river to flood, and the floodwaters to recede, this new farm will be much more efficient. A perfect symbol for the enduring dwarven spirit.
Speaking of, the autumn caravan is here! I haven't had time to check on our trade goods, but we must have something lying around, right?
Oh. Well, meat's meat, and if the merchants think they can make a profit reselling cups made of chalk, they're welcome to it.
Speaking of meat, I'd like to get the kitchens up and running. Just a few horses, though. Don't want to butcher too many and risk running out.
We've been out of booze for a while, and all of our brewers are screwing off in some other parts of the fort. Congratulations, Ducim, you've been promoted. Hope your wine doesn't taste like sewer brew.
Because we'll all be drinking it for a while.
... Say, weren't we due an artifact around now?
Oh. Guess we have no choice but to rush the magma.
Or use charcoal, I guess.
That's... troubling. Okay. We'll need to retake the old fort. And sooner, rather than later. Thankfully, I have a plan...
... and that plan is "rocks fall, everything dies". Dig a tunnel that goes from the outside into the old fort. Fill it with traps. Have the crossbow squad standing by at the exit to pincushion anything that survives.
Also, our fisherdwarves are working non-stop to keep the fort fed. We need someone to process all those fish into something edible. ézum, you're up.
Unfortunately, we were too slow. Our metalsmith is running around the halls, yelling something about being the third in a line of monkey kings.
In happier news, we finally have some more booze.
The fishery is going along at a nice clip, too.
In fact, everything is going a little too well...
Ahh. There we go. Still, with only forty of us, we should be able to-
Okay, don't panic. We have enough food, we have a well... We can make use of these guys.
Congratulations, Athel, you're our next full-time brewer. Don't screw up and go on break all day.
My, look at how the time flies. It's already been a few months since I took over, and yet it feels like I haven't had enough time to even begin to accomplish anything.
Maybe things will change come winter.
Now, I'm not saying that I single-handedly tamed the unicorn menace and turned them into our personal early warning system.
I'm just saying that it happened three times on my watch.
Oh. Oh we did have an anvil sitting around, err... just outside the booze stockpile.
That might have saved some awkwardness.
What the hell, Zon, you are just the worst. "Och, I'm so hungry! I'd better stop MAKING THIS FUCKING FOOD so I can go eat!"
Oh, and the trap tunnel into the old fort is coming along nicely.
Oh no! Eyoya Bosan II! They've mistaken you for an intruder!
Oh. Or you were hanging out on their side of the river so you could pick up some crap the migrants left behind.
Cooked meals use less barrel space than their ingredients do. By doing this, we can convert food barrels into booze barrels without losing any food!
Turtle and horse tallow, it can't be beat.
Hmm. Having a stockpile for finished goods right near the depot would make trading more efficient...
A possession, this time?
Oh. That was, uh... inconveniently-timed. Still, I hope nothing bad happens to the poor tyke.
There are some days where you get up, ready to beat the world into submission. Days where you feel alive, and unstoppable. And then there are days where life punches you in the gut, pushes you down, and does everything it can to keep you there.
Oh, and I guess the possessed jeweler's kid went and drowned or something. Anyway. I stepped on a really sharp piece of talc, and now I have to walk funny for the rest of the day. Life just isn't fair, I tell ya.
Most unfortunate. None of the gems we have are to the jeweler's liking. Oh well.
I'm torn between "it's spring already?" and "it's only spring?". The past half-year has been very eventful.
Oh well. Time to flood the farm.
Oh, and, uh... deal with
them.
Tragedy! The door used to seal off the channels from the farm had been left open! Nothing for it, we have to start again. With maybe a few tweaks in the design.
Spring really does bring in new life. The trap hallway is nearing completion. Soon, the old fort will be ours again. Boarpaints will not fall!
Gotta tell you, though, making silk cloth is thirsty work. Shame nothing interesting happened.
Oh no. Oh no. I could deal with the pointy-eared freaks, but not...
... the nobles!
At least they showed up with a retinue of warm bodies. Hopefully with this many dwarves milling about, something will get done.
Still, though, the population's grown to half again as many as when I started.
At last, it is done. The day of reckoning. We will take back our old halls and, also all of those empty barrels!
No, you idiots! Don't charge down the trap-filled hallway
toward the horrible death-spider!
Thankfully, she was easily picked off by the crossbow squad upon exiting the tunnel. She got a few more snacks along the way than I would have liked, but the menace is dealt with.
I see this won't be easy. The idiots rush in to grab... something, stumble across some wild animal and run.
Ant men, bat men, iron men... The dwarves of Boarpaints fear nothing! Their clever tactic of getting the enemy's attention, then leading him down the trap hall is unbeatable, and certainly has nothing to do with them being spooked by a wild animal and sprinting to the exit. Not at all.
Oh yeah, turns out there was a second iron man hanging out in the F.U.C.K.U.N.I.C.O.R.N.S. channel.
By that time, though, the crossbow squad had found their way in.
Farm number 2 is ready. Without a door to jam open and mess the whole thing up, this farm should be good to go forever!
Once the other farmers stop hauling socks from the old fort and, y'know, farm.
For fuck's sake, Vabôk, I know you're possessed, but dropping your rotten food on the kitchen floor is just rude.
Oh, the humans are here? Must be summer already.
Slowly but surely, we're retaking the old fort. Everyone is filled with energy.
One of the farmers even singlehandedly destroyed this bat man, without a weapon.
I'm not sure which of them scrawled that message in blood on the wall, though.
Humans asked for battle axes. We asked for booze.
Diplomacy is great.
Apparently everyone decided that today, they would all take their lunch break at the same time.
Which I allowed, because of this. As of now, there is no old fort and new fort.
There is only Boarpaints, whole again!
... Oh, hey, look at those logs! Our barrel woes are over!
News travels fast, it seems. Already, migrants are here to celebrate the return of our belov- our valu- err...
our unicorn-infested hole!
It's like new life has been breathed into our fort. Quite literally, in this case.
And yet, my thoughts turn to the deceased. Many nobl- err, fin-...
... A bunch of drunken idiots got themselves offed for this. The least I can do is give what's left of their remains some place out of the sun to spend eternity.
As I face here end of life, so too must I face the end of summer.
To whoever is chosen to lead us next, I never was fully able to fix our booze shortage.
We're not in danger of running out of food, by any means. We have plenty of prepared meals saved up, and the farm can be switched over to full plump helmet-duty to get a surplus of plants.
Even among the animals, the circle of life continues. The foals from the beginning of the year have grown up, and have foals of their own.
Whether it was fate, luck, or something else, it seems Boarpaints had just the right person at just the right time.
And to any travelers headed here, I say the following:
Welcome to Boarpaints! It's perfectly safe here.
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Topic: !!THROWBACK FORTRESS!! (v0.23a | FINALE COMING SOOOOOOOOON!) (Read 124305 times)