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[origamiscienceguy]

Thinking to distract him, you purposefully loose your footing on a piece of wet grass. You expect him to take advantage of that, but being the good Sir that he is, he stands back and waits for you to recover before circling yet again. You don't let your frustration show, instead, you start the attack. You lunge forward with your shield and slide it sideways, locking it with Sir Ferant's shield. He swings his rod at your exposed left side, but you deflect it. He tries again, lower this time. You block parry the rod into the ground. Finally, as you hoped, he pushes you back as far as the shields would allow and he stabs at your belly. You stab at the same time, but twirl your sword in a circular motion, forcing his sword up and right to the side of your head while your sword continues and ends up right by his neck. You stop and say, "dead." Sir Ferant does not look flustered, in fact, he seems rather joyful. "My God! You are amazing! I can't wait for the tournament in Estana! Well, after we sort this mess out." He said while gesturing to the walls. "I assume you know how to joust. It would be amazing to finally be able to..." "Sir Ferant! Prepare for battle!" It is one of the other knights. He walks around the corner and continues. "Baron Heriot noticed that the enemy lacks shock units and horsemen. He thinks we could sortie the siege. There are 4 enemy knights, but no pike men and very few spear men. He has ordered us to lead the charge while we are flanked by the peasants riding the stolen horses. Never did I think I would ever go into battle with those filthy serfs protecting my flanks. I cannot believe Lord Heriot has the audacity to trust these people with a task such as this." "Calm yourself, Sir Henry." Sir Ferant answered. I would rather have any man to ride into battle than nobody. These men have already done a miraculous deed holding off the entire siege while the women and children brought months of food into the keep. I will do what Lord Heriot ordered and I pray that you will as well." Sir Henry left without another word. Sir Ferant addressed you again."Come. We must prepare. Bring your horse." You whistle to Epona and she obediently trots behind you.

You enter the citadel, whistle Epona to the stables, and find the armory. The other knights were already getting dressed by their squires and you do the same. You aren't quite as fast as you were when you were serving your first master, but you still remembered how to do it. After Sir Ferant was completely encased in hardened steel except for his head, you went to the stables and did the same for his horse. His horse, which he called Edrick, was a massive black charger with powerful legs and you assume a high running speed. However, you think that Epona would win in a fight because of her much better agility. Regardless, you armor Edrick carefully, making sure everything was secure, but not too tight. When you are finished, Sir Ferant comes and inspects Edrick for any obvious faults. "Well done. Back in the armory, there is a helmet and a metal-rimmed buckler for you to use. Meet me by the portcullis when you are ready." You head back to the armory and get what he asked you. You still have the sword from the horseman. You get back to the stables and find a better-fitting saddle for Epona then you trot out to the font gate. Dusk had fallen when you were finally ready, but you weren't the last. A couple of men who had fought earlier were mounting the horses and getting in line for the charge. "Now be quiet!" Sir Ferant started, "Surprise is out best ally right now. Ride silently until we are noticed, then make as loud of sounds as you can." A quiet approval rings out. You can hear Sir Henry snort unapprovingly. Suddenly, everything went silent except for the sound of the gears raising the portcullis upwards.

Once the gate was high enough, Sir Henry went out first, followed by the other two knights, then you and the other squires, then a long line of the others. The horses hoofs make clacking sounds on the cobblestone under the gate, but once they were out on the dirt path leading up to the keep, they went silent. Slowly, the pace increased, closer and closer the group got to the enemy encampment. Torches were lit at irregular intervals in the camp. Had you been discovered yet? The speed increased to a full gallop and you could hear the ground rumbling with the impacts of many hoofs. Finally, one of the sentries raised the alarm. At one moment, there was only one voice screaming in the distance. The next moment, everybody was screaming at the top of their lungs. The enemy tried to set up a wall of spear men, as you did to them, but only a few made it in time, and the armor on the knight's horses simply scattered what few men stood in their way. The line of horses drove straight into the heart of the enemy with sheer kinetic force doing more damage than any sword or spear attack. Eventually, the charge lost momentum due to dozens of collisions that a battle ensued. You rode right up to Sir Ferant and protected his rear from any foolish attackers who would want to attack Edrick's vulnerable rear legs. However, from the front, a spear man got a lucky hit on Edrick's front right leg, and Sir Ferant fell, kicking himself out of the saddle while he did so. Sir Ferant was now on the ground, unable to defend himself from the 4 spear men and 2 swordsman taking advantage of his position.

OOC: I wonder why nobody else is participating? Oh well. I enjoy doing this and you role play pretty well so I see no reason why writing a story just for you is a problem. 

[MoonyTheHuman]

Sing the troll song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yy0Bvu7vy9I

[vkiNm]

Sing the troll song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yy0Bvu7vy9I

Ok do this again, but state you made it up first to not alarm them

Sing our powerful Troll song, but do NOT tell them that we made it up so we confuse and terrify them even more.

[OOC: Also, I've no idea why not many more people participate, you write amazingly entertaining story and I love sending suggestions. But then again, maybe it's because they'd probably suggest something like singing the Trololol song and not something more Role-Play-like? I Dunno. Oh well, more for me, then!]

Stand on our horse and pat her mane, tugging it in a way that will get her attention on the two swordsman so that she'll charge and kick them to death with her powerful hooves as we get onto our feet on her back then jump off mid-charge to add extra kinetic force behind us at the spearmen. Can't have Epona fight Spearmen, after all.

Using the force from our migthy leap and Epona's charge backing us up, smash the metal rim of our shield straight into the face of a spearman, while using the same hand that's holding the buckler to grab the man's spear and give it a mighty tug, hard enough to yank the spear out of the probably-dead man's hands and into the chest of his comrade on the other side while we thrust our sword out at the third spearman's throat at the same time, once we've stab through his throat, slash out the side, half-decapitating him and letting the hard momentum slash across the throat of the last spearman.

Killing all four men in the span of seconds! All the while Ser Ferant witness our amazing feat, of course.

Then help Ser Ferant up, see if we can't help patch up his horse while keeping the edge of our eyes at Epona to see how brutally she is killing the halpless swordsmen.

[origamiscienceguy]

You dig your heels into Epona's sides and she charges towards the cluster of enemies around Sir Ferant. Epona jumps over the prone figures of Edrick and Sir Ferant, while she is in mid-air, she kicks the two swordsmen in the face, then lands her rear hoofs in their chests, crunching right through their rib cages and splattering blood and guts up her legs. While this was happening, you jump up into Epona's saddle, balancing while she jumps. You then do the most awesome back flip possible off of Epona's backside, your jump gives Epona the little bit of extra momentum she needed to make the jump over Sir Ferant, but her initial speed carried you forward even though you jumped off backwards. You tuck into a ball right after you jump off to get yourself spinning fast, but once you were perfectly upside down, you straighten yourself vertical. You slam your shield rim into the astonished face of a spear man, while using your shield hand to grab his spear and twist it so that it scrapes the second spear man from him to shoulder. Both men collapse. While this is happening, your right arm reaches out and stabs your sword right though the third spear man's neck, severing his major arteries. You then twist the sword so it lay horizontal and slash it out of his neck, leaving him half-decapitated, and the sword continues straight to the fourth and final spear man, and it slices straight through his neck, only stopping once it reached his spine. Leaving him decapitated as well. You tuck your legs and arms back in again and complete the back flip, landing with your spear smashing through the skull of the still-thrashing second spear man, you sword swept behind you, and your head looking straight at the ground.

...

The whole world seems to have just stopped as everybody looks at your badass pose after an awesome execution. You tilt your head upwards without moving the rest of your body. Eveybody within 30 meters was looking at you with a terrified expression. They were perfectly silent. Very quietly, while still in your baddass position, you start singing. _{trololololol-lololol-lololol} Absolute chaos ensues. Everybody within 30 meters of you simultaneously screams in terror, drops whatever was in their hands, and flees.

You finally exit your position when you hear Sir Ferant moving behind you. "Wow. I thought I was a goner. Where did everybody go? I must have missed something quite amazing." You are a bit upset that he didn't see what you did, but looking behind you, it appeared that everybody else in the sortie did. Even Sir Henry looked impressed. You lift Sir Ferant back on his feet and make you way over to Edrick. Wit both of you helping, you are able to lift him up and he is able to limp back towards the keep. Sir Ferant says, "May I have the privilege of riding your Epona?" You noticed a change in his tone, while he didn't see you take out those four spear men in an instant, he knows that you must have helped in saving his life, and therefore is speaking to you more like an equal. Before you can answer, someone in the back shouts, "archers!" And sure enough, behind incomplete siege ladders and other unreconstructed siege equipment, hundreds of archers appeared with bows drawn.

[vkiNm]

Shout "Release the horses! Let them run back to the keep!" and give your Epona a smack so that she runs towards the keep's direction, letting her lead the rest of the stupid horses there. And instead of spreading out like any sane medieval man should under impending Arrow shower, shout for everyone to come make a tight column , have everyone's shields out everywhere. Interlock the shields and hold on tight! Introduce everyone to the legendary formation of Testudo!

Carefully advance towards the archers, stopping and locking shields down each time they fired at us.

[origamiscienceguy]

You shout, "Release the horses! Clump together! Shields up! "Well, I guess that's a no then." Sir Ferant says a bit bitterly. All the farmers immediately obey your commands while the knights and the other squires looked at you as if you were crazy. "Clump together!?" Says Sir Henry, "That will make you easier to hit!" Ignoring him, you pat Epona on the rump and she lets out a neigh and leads the other horses back towards the keep. While the horses were retreating, all the farmers did as you commanded and clumped up with their shields over their heads. With no time to spare, the first volley of arrows arced overhead. The knights and squires raised their own shields, but you hear several metalic clangs indicating that if they had not been completely encased in hardened steel, they would be dead or injured. As it turned out, Sir Henry's squire met that exact fate. Even though he caught at least 5 arrows on his shield, he took an arrow to the knee, and one to the groin. He collapsed screaming in agony. Meanwhile, the rest of you under the shield wall were perfectly fine. The other squire, who was inches away from having his foot impaled in the ground, hesitated for a moment, then joined your shield wall.

[vkiNm]

Forward! Slowly! Maintain the shield wall! It's too late to flee now! So we must take the fight to the lightly armed archers! or at the very least we can burn down their half-finished siege engines before returning to the keep.

[origamiscienceguy]

You give another order, "forward slowly, destroy their siege equipment." The shielded mass of bodies slowly marched onward, towards the unfinished siege ladders and even farther beyond, where the tents of the commanders was visible over a hill. Your group had just started trashing the ladders while the archers ineffectively shot at your shield wall, when the true enemy finally showed themselves. 5 knights on armored war horses came charging up the hill. "Sir Henry!" The central knight with the most decorative armor said. "Lord Morgorm! Lord Heriot welcomes you to his barony and requests that you leave at once." Sir Henry answered. The archers had stopped firing, but you held the shield wall in case they started again. Lord Morgorm continued. "I think not Sir Henry. Unfortunately, there is somebody back home who would be very disappointed if I didn't take my land back for him. You know who I am speaking of. And he has sent me to tell you that it is time." Sir Henry answered, "It is! Well, why didn't you say so?" To your horror, Sir Henry turned his horse away from Sir Ferant and before Sir Ferant could react, Sir Henry's horse reared and kicked him in the chest sending Sir Ferant flying through the air. He landed with an audible grunt of pain and his helmet rolled off of his head. Meanwhile, the 4 enemy knights and Lord Morgorm charged the other knight who put up a marvelous fight, even unseating one of the knights before his horse was pierced in the underside of the neck, where there was no armor, and he fell off only to be slammed with a war hammer in the head. Blood was pouring through the gaps in his face plate. "Lord Morgorm turned towards the group of peasants in the testudo formation and said, "run." Their confidence is wavering.

OOC: Dun Dun DUUUUN.

[vkiNm]

Feel the rage? Let the rage boil through our veins.

Then roar out

Spoiler: TRAITOR! (click to show/hide)

mightily with such emotion that it would scare the horses into dropping the traitorous knights.

Then rally our peasants "Everyone! With me! Show them what good, honorable men can do!" then be the first person to charge out of the shield wall.

Throw our shield like a frisbee at one of the knight's head, then our sword at another with amazing accuracy. Once we're unarmed, leap off of a wounded horse onto a knight that's trying to kill one of ours and tackle that fucker right off his horse. Straddle his chest and begin to beat the living light out of him with our bare hands through his metal helmet. Denting metal with each powerful blow and show the strength of immense loyalty!

[origamiscienceguy]

haha. I was hoping somebody would do that 

[vkiNm]

Well, that somebody is me.

[origamiscienceguy]

You break ranks with the testudo and shout with all the anger you can muster, "TRAITOR!" All of the knight's horses give shrieks of fear and the one who had been unseated was unable to remount due to his horse galloping off into the distance. All of the peasants' eyes were on you. You turn your back to the enemy and start a speech at them. "Men of twostone barony! Hear me now!" One of the knights charges at you while you are talking. Without even looking or breaking a sentence, you take off your shield and hurl it behind you. You hear a clang as the shield hits the knight on the helmet, then you hear the sound of a body hitting the ground. "Stay loyal to your baron and stand firm!" Another knight charges and you throw your sword right between his eye slit. You hear another body hit the ground. All while never breaking eye contact with the men in front of you and all while never pausing in your speech. "Show these cowards what true honor looks like! Let them at least know what it is that they have been lacking before they die." Another knight charges you. You step backwards onto a dead horse's body and jump backwards over the charging horse's head and kick the knight in the chest, sending him tumbling backwards off the horse with you on top if him. Even in midair you continue your speech. "Find what it is you are fighting for and think of nothing else." You land straddling the 3rd knight "NEVER GIVE UP!" You start punching the knight's face plate with every word. "AND YOU WILL BE VICTORIOUS!!! With a crunch of bone, the man's skull finally gives and the metal of his mangled faceplate embeds itself in his head. You lift your bloody hands and give a cheer. The cowd cheers back and to top it all off, you hear a familiar neigh. Epona had returned from the keep. Now there were only Sir Henry, Lord Morgorm, the dismounted knight, and the one whom you hit with your shield. He was also dismounted.

[vkiNm]

We are justice incarnate.

Grab the Knight's better shield and undoubtedly better weapon then begin to walk menacingly towards the dismounted knight. Grab some pebbles along the way and maybe a bit of dirt to stuff into our cloth's pocket. If the dismounted knight tries to charge us, just knock him aside like the puny mortal he is with our shield and let our followers finish him off while we maintain eye contact with Sir Henry and Lord Morgorm. If they start running off in their heavy chargers, skillfully re-mount Epona and give chase!

[origamiscienceguy]

You equip the deceased knight's shield and sword, and you grab some pebbles and rocks to up in your pockets. You then start slowly walking forward. The two knights look at Lord Morgorm and he signals for them to attack you. They look nervous but they still charge at you. One has a war hammer and the other has a long sword. You parry one's strike such that it intercepts and deflects the other's strike. This leaves you free to kick each of them in the unarmored groin and they each crouch down holding their family jewe...uhh pride.  The angry crowd of peasants swarmed over them and within seconds, they were done for. You continued your slow walk towards Sir Henry and Lord Morgorm. Lord Morgorm shouts, "Fire volley!" The peasants quickly rejoin you and put up the shield barrier, then retreat to let you do your thing. Lord Morgorm looked more and more terrified as you approach. Sir Henry looks like anything will make him flee as well. Finally, something broke inside of lod Morgorm. He turned his horse and ran away. Sir Henry did the same. All around, archers and other soldiers were fleeing. You mount Epona and give chase. The crowd behind you cheered seeing their victory. The siege had been stopped! Epona was faster and more agile than their chargers, weighed down by their armor and riders. You gradually catch up, and it is Lord Morgorm who is the slower of the two. His decorative armor would mean his death. You almost are in range of a sword swing. Lord Morgorm tries to hit Epona, but Epona veered slightly left the the strike went through empty air, throwing Morgorm slightly off balance, slowing him down even further. You two come together, neck and neck.

[vkiNm]

Jump from Epona and tackle Morgorm off his horse! try to let him take most of the force from the tumble before we ends up straddling over his chest, our blade at his throat. "Do you yield?" Asks the man.

Perhaps Sir Henry will escape. But humiliation and defeat is a fate worse than death anyway. Plus we've got ourself a captured lord! he'll be worth lots of ransom and I imagine the Baron will be pleased as well.