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[lawastooshort]

ROLL TO TEST RUN

Like a GM who hasn’t GMed in some time, this GM wants to GM. But can he or she still GM? Or find the time to GM? Or the inspiration to GM? Or the motivation to GM?

This is a quest to find out.

Your mission: to successfully play in a test run.

CHAPTER ONE: JOIN THE GAME.

[Nakéen]

A sentient toast animated by some unknown force joins the game. She jumps off the table she is currently on.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Mash buttons until I get food

[lawastooshort]

1

A sentient toast animated by some unknown force joins the game. She jumps off the table she is currently on.

In a morale boosting turn of events Nakéen rolls a [1], falling off the table they unwisely mounted and face first into the nearby open fire whilst screaming (mistakenly) about being a slice of toast.

NEW STAT UNLOCKED: NAME!

NEW STAT UNLOCKED: BURNING!

Name: Nakéen
Burning: Yes

Mash buttons until I get food

In an even boostinger turn of events, Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER rolls another [1] and smashes his or her fist straight through their monitor whilst trying to mash buttons. A shard of glass makes him or her bleed HARD. Since the text on the screen is now unreadable, it’s unknown if Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER knows he or she is bleeding HARD.

NEW STAT UNLOCKED: WOUNDED!

Name: Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER
Burning: No
Wounded: Yes

[Nakéen]

"Please, my name is Liz !" shouts the hot feminine toast -or is it a toast ?-.
Jump into the nearby toilet to extinguish the fire

[TheBiggerFish]

Exist.

[lawastooshort]

2

"Please, my name is Liz !" shouts the hot feminine toast -or is it a toast ?-.
Jump into the nearby toilet to extinguish the fire

[5] Displaying ever greater levels of delusion, Nakéen crawls from the fireplace and then jumps – quite acrobatically – into the nearby toilet to extinguish the fire. Which was on his face. This face is now firmly in the toilet. As she starts drowning, Nakéen wonders why there was a toilet in the living room with the fireplace.

Name: Nakéen
Burning: No
Wounded: No

Exist.

[3] Well, thinks TheBiggerFish. I am. I think? Therefore? Maybe?

At least he or she is suddenly aware of two things she or he certainly is not:

Name: TheBiggerFish
Burning: No
Wounded: No

[TheBiggerFish]

Ponder status more.

[Salsacookies]

PRAISE THE CHUNKS!!!

[Yoink]

Shout a long string of unintelligible Irish curses into empty space whilst shaking a (possibly nonexistent?) fist.

[lawastooshort]

3

Ponder status more.

[6] So. You might exist. You might think. You might think you might exist. You do think that the only real way to tell is to take a closer look, so you remove all your clothing and stand in front of the full length mirror to your right. You think that you see you, and realise an uncomfortable truth about your status.

NEW STAT UNLOCKED: NAKED!

Name: TheBiggerFish?
Burning: No
Naked: Yes
Wounded: No

PRAISE THE CHUNKS!!!

[6] You want to praise some chunks, but you’re not sure what kind of chunks. Fresh chunks? Fish chunks? Flash chunks? Flish chunks? Aha! Flesh chunks! Probably. You slice off your left leg at the knee and chop it into chunks, or at least start to chop it into chunks, until you interrupt yourself by passing out from blood loss. Or pain. You’re unconscious, so you have difficulty telling which.

NEW STAT UNLOCKED: MAIMED!

Name: Salsacookies
Burning: No
Naked: No
Wounded: Yes
Maimed: Yes

Shout a long string of unintelligible Irish curses into empty space whilst shaking a (possibly nonexistent?) fist.

[5] You think you shout something extremely similar to the words feck fecking fecker of a fecking eejit, you fecking feck fecker! at that fecking eejit of an empty space just in front of you, but you can’t really tell – you’re completely unintelligible, even to yourself. The life of a priest is long and arduous. And not made any easier by drinking heavily from 7am onwards, no matter what you tell yourself. Wait, is that your fist? It looks puzzlingly non-existent.

Name: Yoink
Burning: No
Naked: No
Wounded: No
Maimed: No

[Nakéen]

Take head off toilet and go see my psychologist. I'm late !

[Salsacookies]

I am the chunky Martyr! Pray my sacrifice pleased the Chunks!

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Go to a doctor to cure my bleeding

[TheBiggerFish]

Put clothes back on, eww.