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[Empiricist]

totally understand the midnight thing. And... yeah, I did really want them and my Mom has essentially said they make her sick... kinda hurts considering the actual content is quite tame for the majority outside of the occasional swear fest in very short scenes. Nothing she should have found vulgar outside the story itself which is grasping at straws itself.

That seems... overly sensitive. Does she always react badly to cursing, etc.?

Cado's mom reacted quite, badly when finding out about her being trans, and the comic does delve into gender identity so that's probably what's setting her off.

Though I can definitely see that it makes throwing it out even more hurtful and depressing. Normally I'd be against drastic measures being taken, but yeah, I don't think remaining in that house is too good an option anymore.

[Orange Wizard]

Cado's mom reacted quite, badly when finding out about her being trans, and the comic does delve into gender identity so that's probably what's setting her off.

Oh, right. Still seems really petty to me - "how dare you read books about topics I don't like".

[Empiricist]

My guess is that she didn't want to accept Cado's feelings, and seeing those books made it harder to keep her head in the sand about it all.

[kj1225]

Hey buddy, Not really a lot I can offer you besides my hope that things will get better for you. Hang in there, I'm sure you'll work it out eventually!

[SOLDIER First]

If I knew what I was talking about, I would probably suggest something, so for now I shall apply hugs and hope things don't take any more turns that aren't good.

[Trapezohedron]

If your parents are paying for Uni, do NOT try to abandon the opportunity you have right now, as it may mean the difference being an ordinary blue-collar frontliner vs. someone most companies will seek.

I'd suggest staying with your friends if your mom allows it, or staying near to the university instead. Toxic environments can really get to you and kill you with stress. However, moving elsewhere, I think someone is going to make another stink about it so you should prepare a really good reason (according to their perspective), or have a high chance of facing an argument, which I'm honestly not sure what else follows after that.

But yeah, I really, really would want you to preserve your education. Not everyone has the chance to retain it, unless of course you might be the one spending for it, and possibly if it's worth less than the student loans you are incurring.

[Empiricist]

Okay Trapzezohedron raises a good point, who's paying for Uni? You mentioned your Dad was more relaxed and that your step-mom was fine with it, right?

[RangerCado]

Okay Trapzezohedron raises a good point, who's paying for Uni? You mentioned your Dad was more relaxed and that your step-mom was fine with it, right?

I'm the one paying actually via student loans for the most part though mom did say initially (and in the rant she made against me) that she'd pay for them and my books. Dad and Step-Mom aren't in a good position for extended financial support.

My guess is that she didn't want to accept Cado's feelings, and seeing those books made it harder to keep her head in the sand about it all.

Filth I believe in the word she described it all as.

In response to the cursing and things, my Mom is heavy duty religious. To the point of zealotry if I would even suggest not going to church anymore. (Good upbringing morals wise but... you get older and you see the growing pushes against open thinking of... well, virtually everything.)

[AlleeCat]

You mentioned your Dad was more relaxed and that your step-mom was fine with it, right?

I've met her dad & stepmom and they're great and supportive people. The problem is, they live an hour and a half's drive from where she goes to school (and works, I think), and I believe the car is her mom's, so it will become pretty much impossible to actually get to school every day if she were to move in with them, even if they could support her.

[Empiricist]

Okay so if you're currently already paying through student loans and didn't plan on relying on her for that in the first place, I guess moving in with friends is still looking like a good option if it's feasible. Well, better than staying at home considering the circumstances.

Otherwise, consider seeing if you can get your friends to look after the stuff you're mother's trying to access or would take offense in. Assuming you're able to go out with friends often, of course. Still not the most ideal situation I know, but you'll only need to do that for however long your degree is.
Still, the other people here are probably going to be better sources of advice than I unfortunately >__<

[Arx]

I'm gonna offer some advice here that might not be the first thing that comes to mind for a lot of people, and a lot might disagree with, but if it doesn't sit right then ignore me.

This is probably hard for your mother to deal with. I can't claim to know the situation exactly (or very much at all), but it's the kind of thing that can be very difficult to come to terms with - there are a number of things she could feel, a lot of them quite possibly more negative about herself than you. It's probably worth trying to make this as easy for her as you can. (That's the advice a lot of people might disagree with.) The easy reaction is to say "Well, it's her fault for being so close-minded and it's not my fault I'm the person I am", and sure that's actually perfectly true. And I'm not accusing you of feeling this way.

It's just that it's not conducive to good dialogue and a healthy atmosphere. She might be hoping that you'll somehow 'prove yourself' by paying for gas even when she offers to do it for you. She may very well be accidentally (or not accidentally, but I'm inclined to give the benefit of the doubt) screwing you over with a no-win situation. There are a lot of options.

Have you tried sitting down and having a calm, cool discussion where you discuss why she doesn't like you being trans and what you can do to mitigate it? You might have, in which case I apologise. And to be perfectly, I don't mean you need to let her stuff you back in the closet, but if there's something that she'd be happier that you do or somesuch, see if you can discuss it and come to an agreement. Mostly because so far I don't get a totally insane vibe from what you've posted.

If it happens that you need advice responding to any religious objections she may have, you're welcome to ask me. Or OW, probably, he's pretty clued up as well.

If I've accidentally been insulting or anything, I'm terribly sorry. I think I have your best interests at heart, which is hopefully what counts.

[RangerCado]

You mentioned your Dad was more relaxed and that your step-mom was fine with it, right?

I've met her dad & stepmom and they're great and supportive people. The problem is, they live an hour and a half's drive from where she goes to school (and works, I think), and I believe the car is her mom's, so it will become pretty much impossible to actually get to school every day if she were to move in with them, even if they could support her.

two hours from School, hour and a half from work. It would barely be worth the gas at that point.

[RangerCado]

I'm gonna offer some advice here that might not be the first thing that comes to mind for a lot of people, and a lot might disagree with, but if it doesn't sit right then ignore me.

This is probably hard for your mother to deal with. I can't claim to know the situation exactly (or very much at all), but it's the kind of thing that can be very difficult to come to terms with - there are a number of things she could feel, a lot of them quite possibly more negative about herself than you. It's probably worth trying to make this as easy for her as you can. (That's the advice a lot of people might disagree with.) The easy reaction is to say "Well, it's her fault for being so close-minded and it's not my fault I'm the person I am", and sure that's actually perfectly true. And I'm not accusing you of feeling this way.

It's just that it's not conducive to good dialogue and a healthy atmosphere. She might be hoping that you'll somehow 'prove yourself' by paying for gas even when she offers to do it for you. She may very well be accidentally (or not accidentally, but I'm inclined to give the benefit of the doubt) screwing you over with a no-win situation. There are a lot of options.

Have you tried sitting down and having a calm, cool discussion where you discuss why she doesn't like you being trans and what you can do to mitigate it? You might have, in which case I apologise. And to be perfectly, I don't mean you need to let her stuff you back in the closet, but if there's something that she'd be happier that you do or somesuch, see if you can discuss it and come to an agreement. Mostly because so far I don't get a totally insane vibe from what you've posted.

If it happens that you need advice responding to any religious objections she may have, you're welcome to ask me. Or OW, probably, he's pretty clued up as well.

If I've accidentally been insulting or anything, I'm terribly sorry. I think I have your best interests at heart, which is hopefully what counts.

This has been about... 8 or so months ish now? Outside of two points I've mostly kept things civil and don't eo any button pushing or anything overt of my personal stance or beliefs. Last couple times I tried to do the calm conversation she would begin the guilt trip scenario of constantly asking me if her opinion mattered. Thats a no-win situation right there. When she asks questions during her confrontations she thinks I don't care when I ask for a couple days to answer despite already saying that its become the easiet way to communicate with her so I can think.

Her strategy has gone from guilt tripping, to religious preaching in the form of my Grandpa and refusing any counsillor not Mormon (though my counsillor is actually quite helpful and understanding), to angry laughing in my face at the suggestion of her throwing my stuff away being illegal. (Even if it is her house, IT DOES fall under theft and potentially destruction of property.) I've never been the one to start things. She first found out by searching my stuff and my laptop, then when she didn't agree with seeing a counsillor my dad had set up who specializes in sexuality, and now here by getting rid of what is mine by all accounts. She didn't even tell me before hand in any way that it wasn't allowed. She told my Dad but that never got to me.

[RangerCado]

Living on Campus costs 700 dollars a month... 450 if I have a roomate but... not exactly what I can afford off student loans and getting to work, and food costs... not viable if I plan to stay in school right now period.

The 26th is also the last day I can drop classes without getting Fs so getting an idea of if I should stop would be good to get by that date. I'm thinking a good compromise may be to finish the year and then stop so that I can get away from here with a good knowledge of my program as it is only 2 years.

[TheBiggerFish]

Have you talked to your school about this?  More than 'How much would it be to live on campus.'  There might be some way to accomodate you for less.  Or a recalculation of financial aid, or something.