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[Harry Baldman]

TRAITOR ! YOU NO KEA

I KEA

I KEA ALL THE WAY

[Aslandus]

I KEA ALL THE WAY

I KEA
IKEA

Son of a

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[TheBiggerFish]

What on earth is...

But PTW anyway!!!!!

[Person]

Is this still happening?

[Sosoku234]

Grab some keys and Kea car.

[Orange Wizard]

Fall out of sky, splatting on necromancer. Become twice-undead skeleton kea, devoid of impurities of flesh.

[1] You fall from the sky and splat on the ground. Respawn?

Sell the artifacts and use the money to buy an army of Keas. Then, with my army, steal more bins!

[4] You try to sell the artefacts but they're stolen by keas.

Become a world-known golf player.

[8] You win a golf tournament for school children.

Proceed to unleash a long speech about animal rights at these fools, and fly away laughing maniacally

[11] Your speech goes on for hours; by the end there's not one group of people you haven't derided or ridiculed for hurting poor, innocent animals.

Kea-nu gets his wings on directing his first film. Kea Hard!

Create a breakfast cereal with Mr. Kea-Nu's face slapped on the front. Ingredients include: Water, sugar, Souls of the Damned^TM, A whole ton of crystallized sodium carbonate, and vegetable oil.

Kea-nu sponsors this cereal

[0] Kea-nu tries to be his own stunt double and dies during filming. Respawn?
[7] The cereal is marketed with pictures of Kea-nu's corpse and sells terribly.

GET KEAFER SUTHERLAND TO STAR IN NEXT MOVIE ALONGSIDE MYSELF   

IS ABOUT ANGRY KOREAN WAR VETERAN WITH NICE CAR AND SUNNY DISPOSITION   

[10] Your new movie is absurd, but still tops the charts.

Tear a car apart with my beak

[12] You rip apart a tank with sheer force of will.

Create a breakfast cereal with Mr. Kea-Nu's face slapped on the front. Ingredients include: Water, sugar, Souls of the Damned^TM, A whole ton of crystallized sodium carbonate, and vegetable oil.

[7] You couldn't get Kea-nu to pose for a photo before he tragically died, so you improvise and use a picture of his corpse. The cereal is fantastically unpopular.

Fly away from India, find an impressionable hipster computer science nerd in america and influence him to create a new groundbreaking mobile phone using only cheap wood and terrible architecture, and call it the Ikea.

[2] The IKea is neither groundbreaking nor mobile. Nor, strictly speaking, a phone.

Agree to testify against my clearly unstable associate in return for immunity from prosecution.

[9] The courts accept your offer and take you into custody. Protective, of course.

BECOME A PHEONIX. A KEA PHEONIX.

[0] You set yourself on fire. Respawn?

Is this still happening?

[12] My forum games aren't dead 'till I lock them.

Grab some keys and Kea car.

[5] The keys don't match the car.

[TheBiggerFish]

Question what dice we're using.  Then roll ALL THE DICE.

[TempAcc]

Go to Russia, find the orthodox patriarch and steal the tiny jesus from his hat.
Become the Pope of the New Church of Keesus.

[Salsacookies]

(How did I get a zero?)

[Orange Wizard]

Question what dice we're using.  Then roll ALL THE DICE.

It's a thirteen-sided dice from 0-12.

Go to Russia, find the orthodox patriarch and steal the tiny jesus from his hat.
Become the Pope of the New Church of Keesus.

[11] The New Church of Keesus spreads across the world, with millions of new converts every day.

(How did I get a zero?)

It's a thirteen-sided dice from 0-12.

[Nakéen]

Start a small Keanese restaurant famous for its "Kea puns buns", small buns containing a biscuit with a Kea Pun inscribed on it.

RIP KEANU. HE WAS GREAT KEA.

[TheBiggerFish]

Hey, I said ROLL ALL THE DICE didn't I?  Do that...

[Aslandus]

Tear a building apart

[Sosoku234]

Pick up a brick. Fly over the UN and drop said brick

[Coolrune206]

Kill the Keathiefs. Then sell my artifacts and make my army.