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Author Topic: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)  (Read 11637 times)

Amperzand

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #90 on: February 22, 2016, 08:04:43 pm »

Fuck it. +1. Let's see where this goes.

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Muh FG--OOC Thread
Quote from: smirk
Quote from: Shadowlord
Is there a word that combines comedy with tragedy and farce?
Heiterverzweiflung. Not a legit German word so much as something a friend and I made up in German class once. "Carefree despair". When life is so fucked that you can't stop laughing.
http://www.collinsdictionary.com

vkiNm

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #91 on: February 22, 2016, 08:18:54 pm »

+1 Use our pointy stick as a lance.

Deus Vult!
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Jon was the little sherman who could until he got hit by a repurposed tank gun.

Robot Parade Leader

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #92 on: February 22, 2016, 09:08:43 pm »

Rather suddenly, you mount your boar, who somewhat awkwardly charges headlong towards the three humans, still having the makeshift saddlebags tied to him. In the confusion, your boar charges just behind them, badly goring one in the leg with a tusk.

Untrained in cavalry or the axe, you swing and miss that same human with your axe from boarback. This is perhaps partially because the man was pulled down a fair deal by the goring wound to his leg, but still.... He does nearly fall, managing to remain standing, mostly on one leg ... and another severely injured one.

All three of the humans draw their swords, now very aware of you and unhappy about it. You are about 20 ft away from the trio of humans, still on your boar.

What do you do?
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MoonyTheHuman

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #93 on: February 22, 2016, 09:15:08 pm »

Run up an plead for mercy but suprise attack ad yell OFF ITH YOUR HEADS

DolosusDoleus

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #94 on: February 22, 2016, 10:56:27 pm »

Reach into the saddlebags, retrieve a mighty handful of elven arrows, and throw them haphazardly at the orcs/humans. Also, make another glorious charge, this time wildly swinging around your axe and club at the enemy. If at first you don`t succeed, try try again!
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Does that make scientific sense? No? Well it's Earth IV and he's a giant crocodile-man. Use your imagination.
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MidnightJaguar

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #95 on: February 22, 2016, 10:57:08 pm »

Charge the one with the gored leg, swinging our axe to keep the others off of us.
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23:31:46 <pancaeks> "Today on mystery science with the eggheads: we created these sentient crystal people, now we're going to find out if they explode!"

MainPiston: Epilogue.

Robot Parade Leader

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #96 on: February 23, 2016, 07:09:42 pm »

OOC: Multiple different suggestions; no clear majority. I guess I'll do my best....

You turn your boar around and face the trio of human as they point their swords towards you and form up. You and your boar charge, managing to trample and run over the already wounded human as you try to attack with your ax and land, at best, a glancing blow that slightly catches the armor of one human and tears it away a small bit of it. The trampled and gored human is either dead or close to it and possibly wishing he were dead.

However, the other two humans manage to sidestep your charge and put their well trained swords to good use. One slashes you in the arm about the shoulder. It is bleeding and feels painful. The other human slashes at the boar, who does not take kindly to this one bit. There is now a cut in your boar's left rear flank on the hip, and he is not happy about it one bit. As part of your charge, you are again, about 20 or so feet away from the trio of humans.

What do you do?
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femmelf

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #97 on: February 23, 2016, 09:21:53 pm »

Charge. Focus on running down one of the remaining humans. Use our club defensively and let the boar do the damage. Bat away their swords if we can or strike their hands or whatever we can do with our club to keep from getting hit.

At this point, we can't let them go back and tell everyone about us can we?
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vkiNm

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #98 on: February 23, 2016, 09:24:29 pm »

Charge. Focus on running down one of the remaining humans. Use our club defensively and let the boar do the damage. Bat away their swords if we can or strike their hands or whatever we can do with our club to keep from getting hit.

At this point, we can't let them go back and tell everyone about us can we?

+1 for Goblin Cavalry.

We'll become the GOBLIN KNIGHT!
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Jon was the little sherman who could until he got hit by a repurposed tank gun.

femmelf

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #99 on: February 23, 2016, 09:25:44 pm »

I thought we were kind of a rogue with hide and climb and club and stuff aren't we?
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MidnightJaguar

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #100 on: February 23, 2016, 09:35:48 pm »

Feed our boar two bug-cakes after our next charge
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Quote
23:31:46 <pancaeks> "Today on mystery science with the eggheads: we created these sentient crystal people, now we're going to find out if they explode!"

MainPiston: Epilogue.

vkiNm

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #101 on: February 23, 2016, 09:37:08 pm »

I thought we were kind of a rogue with hide and climb and club and stuff aren't we?

We'll multiclass into cavalier.
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Jon was the little sherman who could until he got hit by a repurposed tank gun.

DolosusDoleus

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #102 on: February 23, 2016, 10:17:03 pm »

Charge. Focus on running down one of the remaining humans. Use our club defensively and let the boar do the damage. Bat away their swords if we can or strike their hands or whatever we can do with our club to keep from getting hit.

At this point, we can't let them go back and tell everyone about us can we?
+1
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Does that make scientific sense? No? Well it's Earth IV and he's a giant crocodile-man. Use your imagination.
Ongoing Forum Thingamajiggers:
Wikipedia Wars: Revengance

Robot Parade Leader

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #103 on: February 24, 2016, 09:55:24 am »

You charge again, sticking to your tried and true, trusty club. Steady in hand, you add the boar's momentum to your swing, and though trying to be defensive, manage a direct hit to the face, but really more of the forehead. Still, you bet it probably hurt, because you wouldn't want hit there. It doesn't drop him, but then again it's not a bad thing. This is especially true given that you were trying to be defensive. You had blocked one strike, saw and opening, took it, and it paid off.

Your boar, tried and failed to gore the other human, oinking, grunting and unhappy.

Your next charge, leads to the boar viciously goring the human who cut his rear flank in the groin and stomach. It isn't an immediately fatal wound, but it may as well have been. Meanwhile the other human gets another slash across your torso. It isn't incredibly deep but it does bleed and is painful.

You charge again for the third time, and the boar gores the remaining human's leg, you strike his head, again, and he tries to strike with his sword, and nicks you, ironically glancing off one of those goblin make gauntlets you got earlier with a couple of metal plates in them.

You now sit atop your boar, bleeding from the shoulder, the torso and somewhat bruised. It's not a lovely feeling, but then, you should and can see the other guys.

They're all on the ground

You fail to control the boar, who is enraged at his wound and gores the human who injures him to death. It takes him some time to calm down, and the chorus of oinks, grunts, squeals, and what must be the boar equivalent of screams is not a nice thing. That goes on for a bit with him pacing back and forth and circling like the wounded animal he is. He is not a happy boar at the moment and is laying down if anyone likes it or not and just try and move him, is what you'd imagine he would say if he could.

Eventually, he calms down, still oinking though and you are on top of him. Two of those humans are certainly dead (and one of them died with horrible gore wounds, the one who got the boar). There's one who's alive, perhaps barely, but not really awake right now.

Throlu shyly peaks out of the woods and undergrowth where you were initially hiding from the three humans and is quite shocked. He holds up something you can't quite see as if in a questioning manner. Maybe he's a little scared to come around you or the boar or something. You're not sure at present.

What do you do?
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vkiNm

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #104 on: February 24, 2016, 10:07:11 am »

Tell Throlu to come help you off your boar, you seriously need to stop the ouchies and munch on some bugs.

Offer your boar lots of delicious bugcakes to help calm him down and say how much of a good boar he is.

Also state to Throlu that you're a Knight now. You've wrecked this many orcs and humans, this is the least you deserve.

Have another juicey bug in celebration.
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Jon was the little sherman who could until he got hit by a repurposed tank gun.
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