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Author Topic: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)  (Read 28485 times)

LordBrassroast

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #90 on: May 20, 2016, 11:20:06 am »

The Dubiously Competent Adventures of King Anarawd

19 April, Anno Domini 896

Sjaelland is wracked by a massive independence revolt. Now is the opportune time to steal a county right out from under them. The plan is to gather our forces and quickly blitzkrieg the territory. We'll only get the one county, due to the de jure system, but we will be in a place to strike the other pagan realms.


DEUS VULT!

Our army converges in Dyfed, across the sea.


We have begun the siege of their tribal holding.

Ireland has exploded into Holy War as the Celts of Mide and Connacht take the opportunity as well.

On 24 November, the tribal holding was taken, for 7% warscore. Now we must seize the Church of Mellifont, which the foul pagans have turned into a temple for heathen gods.

We have taken the church, but we only have 35% warscore. We must occupy the territory until they accept our peace offer, which worries me, because the revolt war is winding to a close.

After crushing two small pagan armies, the war is at 52%. Still not enough.

13 March, Anno Domini 898
We have finally caught up to what is left of the main heathen army. This battle may finally allow us to bend the Nordic knees.


It didn't. We are at 69% warscore.

12 January, Anno Domini 899
It has been two years and nine months since the start of the war. We are at 80% warscore. JESUS CHRIST HE WON'T GIVE UP.

On the homefront, I betroth my son to my niece. I know that their children will have a higher chance of...problems, but she has Genius and that's just too good to keep out of the main line. Her father is only my half-brother, so that may help the whole "Profoundly messed up" factor. I also hire some mercs in the hope that this gets the war over faster. All this accomplishes is killing my soldiers with attrition due to the fact we were over supply limit. Frickin' tribes man.

7 January, Anno Domini 900
I have turned 50. The century has turned. AND HE STILL WON'T FECKING GIVE UP AT 95% WARSCORE. Even worse, the Irish here have adopted the habits of the barbarians and even worse, their pagan religion! NNNNGH!

3 May
THANK YOU O HOLY LORD JESUS!


This was supposed to be a quick, blitzkrieg, in'n'out war. Year and a half at the absolute most. IT'S TAKEN OVER 4 YEARS TO GET THIS ONE DAMN COUNTY FULL OF PAGANS! In addition, I'm stuck with a tribal holding until I a) fob it off on someone else (not gonna happen) or b)convert it to the One True Faith.

PROGRESS TODAY: Have a new shitty Irish county full of pagans. Betrothed son to his own genius 7 year old cousin. Truly, today was a good day.

STATUS:
Cash: 132
Prestige: 1596
Piety: 502
Ruler age: 50
Heir age: 24
Vassals: All good except Tewdwr and Count Owain of Glamorgan, who I'm Plotting to Kill. 2/6 Bishops pay tax to me.

Iituem

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #91 on: May 20, 2016, 05:15:33 pm »

Wow.  It just isn't medieval feudalism without ineffective crusading and incest, is it?
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LordBrassroast

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #92 on: May 20, 2016, 05:30:38 pm »

Wow.  It just isn't medieval feudalism without ineffective crusading and incest, is it?

1) Deus Vulted. You know how it is.
2)Incest is wincest. Even if you're not Zoroastrian.

Ya know, my character portrait reminds me of the bad guy from Braveheart.
« Last Edit: May 20, 2016, 05:33:06 pm by LordBrassroast »
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EuchreJack

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #93 on: May 25, 2016, 01:55:33 am »

Wow.  It just isn't medieval feudalism without ineffective crusading and incest, is it?

1) Deus Vulted. You know how it is.
2)Incest is wincest. Even if you're not Zoroastrian.

Ya know, my character portrait reminds me of the bad guy from Braveheart.
Never noticed that before, but now do.

JumpingJack

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #94 on: May 25, 2016, 01:02:55 pm »

Wow.  It just isn't medieval feudalism without ineffective crusading and incest, is it?

1) Deus Vulted. You know how it is.
2)Incest is wincest. Even if you're not Zoroastrian.

Ya know, my character portrait reminds me of the bad guy from Braveheart.

"The problem with the Old North is that it's full of Scots heathens."
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LordBrassroast

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #95 on: May 27, 2016, 06:33:47 pm »

The Dubiously Competent Adventures of King Anarawd

5 May, Anno Domini 900

I plan to implement Tanistry. I have about 8 elector titles, so it really shouldn't be a problem getting the heir I want, and it should prevent some rebellions. In other news, I betroth my granddaughter, Mihangel's daughter, to the nephew of the King of Mercia.


Vikings are slapped. Also, the soldiers are going to look different because I just picked up Charlemagne, which comes with a bunch of clothing packs.

I talk to Count Owain in an effort to resolve our differences.


He tells me to go do anatomically impossible things to myself. Violently. I guess the plot to kill him is still on, then.


HOLYSHIT HOLYSHIT HOLYSHIT (literally)

At some point when I wasn't looking, the Umayyad hordes took part of France. Charles Martel rolls in his grave.

But there is hope.

Holy knights take their vows and prepare for battle.





But apparently the Pope has not found the balls to launch a crusade.


I give the German fanatics the pagan county we picked up. All that work, and just to give it away to a bunch of Germans when the Pope asks. Goddammit. Wait, I should be quieter saying that. The Germans might hear me and purge me for my sins.

Ah, finally. Let's go help my son-in-law, Gross Neckbeard Frenchie get his kingdom back.


DEUS VULT!

Of course, I have no boats and I'm not getting anywhere near seven and a half thousand kebabs.

PROGRESS TODAY: DEUS VULT! We lost the county we spent 4 years of war getting to angry, zealot, Germans.

STATUS:
Cash: 210
Prestige: 1696
Piety: 566
Ruler age: 51
Heir age: 24
Vassals: All good except Tewdwr and Owain. 3/5 Bishops pay taxes to me.

Haspen

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #96 on: May 27, 2016, 07:19:14 pm »

DEUS VULT!

Can't you get any boats at all? Or are they just too busy with other deliveries?
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LordBrassroast

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #97 on: May 27, 2016, 08:17:14 pm »

DEUS VULT!

Can't you get any boats at all? Or are they just too busy with other deliveries?

I have some boats, just nowhere near enough to hold all my doods.

LordBrassroast

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #98 on: June 12, 2016, 11:04:05 am »

The Dubiously Competent Adventures of King Anarawd

((Imgur messed up one of my images.))

23 June, 901 Anno Domini

The problem with Andalusia is that it's full of Andalusians.

When we last left off, we were preparing to go Deus Vultin'. After a long series of boat-related shenanigans, I managed to get myself, my long-suffering son Mihangel and the glorious Welsh army to Aquitaine. The plan is to run in, get myself and Mihangel the Crusader trait, and run back out, because there are a lot of Muslims down there and they look scary. If the Crusade looks like it's going well in a couple of months, hell, we might even come back! Wait, I can't say the h word that loud. The zealot Germans might purge me of my sin. Violently.



The French king asks me for an alliance.


Seeing as he gets in a war every other Tuesday, I send him this back.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I don't know what the bear is for. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Back to the DEUS VULTIN'.

Alright, we all have Crusader now, time to go home... Wait what's this?! This battle actually looks slightly winnable! I suppose it can't hurt to have a look- Oh, who am I kidding? DEUS VULT! ANARAWD... ABERFFRAWWWW!


We got there just in time to chase down the fleeing infidels. Everyone thought it was great fun.


This crusade has...changed me. I am no longer the callous, indifferent sinner I once was. The Angry Germans have taught me much in the ways of the Lord. I feel His holy fire burning within me.

DIE KEBAB INFIDELS! IN THE NAME OF THE PRINCE OF PEACE!

Annnd my daughter just died in childbirth. Joy. Gross Neckbeard Frenchie is no longer my son in law.



Excellent.


Less excellent. Now I have to kill his son too, if I want to change the succession laws to something slightly manageable.

It is 29 December, 902.
PROGRESS TODAY: Deus Vulted. Found Jesus for real this time. Killed a count, but got caught. Now have to kill his son.
STATUS:
Cash: 271
Prestige: 1785
Piety: 655
Ruler age: 52
Heir age: 26, and interestingly, he wants to be Court Chaplain. He has a Learning of 3. Mihangel, I'm sorry, but no. You are quite good at killing things for a living, though. Maybe make a career out of that?
Vassals: Still all good, despite me straight-up murdering a guy a few days ago. Except, of course, for Tewdwr the Traitorous Bastard Who Won't Goddamn Die After Spending Like 7 Years In An Oubliette, and the new Count of Glamorgan, Cawdaf. Do I have to murder your entire House? Because I am OK with that outcome. 1/4 Bishops pay taxes to me.
« Last Edit: June 12, 2016, 06:16:40 pm by LordBrassroast »
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #99 on: June 13, 2016, 05:11:50 am »

Ah, I remember this! Still good! Always love a CKII playthrough, I do, and the non-IC style works well for this one.
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LordBrassroast

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #100 on: June 13, 2016, 08:13:44 am »

Yeah, I started this as "Story of the Crumbling Europe" level drama and then it turned rather quickly into "Knud Knytling Part 2: Welsh Boogaloo"

LordBrassroast

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #101 on: June 21, 2016, 07:04:45 am »

The Dubiously Competent Adventures of King Anarawd

29 December, 902 Anno Domini

Somehow, I have been named leader of the Crusade. I have no less than two knightly orders following me around. Well, I make the most of it and start siegeing Toulouse.

People have started calling me Anarawd the Wise. I don't know why.

I fabricated a bullshit claim on some random county in Ireland. Hopefully the Germans don't take it away this time.


This shit better work this time.


Shit.


The enemy annihilated the Venetian contingent. Serves 'em right for sending an 800 stack to walk around alone. But we must have revenge!


Hark, I hear the foe advancing!
Barbed steeds are proudly prancing
Helmets in the sunbeams glancing
glitter through the trees



Men of Harlech, lie ye dreaming?
See ye not their falchions gleaming?
Warrior banners bravely streaming
Flutter in the breeze



From the rocks resounding
Let the war cry sounding
Summon all at Cymru's call
The haughty foe surrounding



Men of Harlech, on to glory
See your banner famed in story
Waves these buring words before ye,
"Britain scorns to yield!"


Alright, wonderful display of patriotism everyone, back to sieges.


Isn't this exactly what got FUBARed last time?

Oh, excellent. It worked perfectly.

But the hate was passed down to his three sisters. Well, I guess it's time for more murder.


Well, I already had the modifier, so I guess... success?


Well that was unexpected.


Here begins the writing of King Mihangel
Well, my dad kicked the bucket, so I guess I'm King now. It's alright, but it's a lot of work. All I ever really wanted to do was become the Marshal.


Due to death-related crusade bullshit, all our sieges are gone and nobody wants to hang out with our army anymore. I'll stay here for a few days and see it that changes.

The Knights are chilling with us again. I guess we'll just have to siege everything all over again.

The Knights left and we have 900 men left in our army. That's it, I'm done. This is beyond acceptable losses. This took acceptable losses, ignored it, threw it out a window, shat on it, and punched its mother in the head. This party's over. I'm going home.

Also, I paid off my dad's debts to the Jewish moneylenders. That sentence is so stereotypical I cringed writing it.

PROGRESS TODAY: Got to 87% warscore, then Anarawd died. We're done with crusades for now.
STATUS:
Cash: 25, but we got rid of that loan.
Prestige: 481
Piety: 270
Ruler age: 29
Heir age: 10
Vassals: Most of them hate me for not being my dad and/or being the son of my dad. Also, my heir is a girl. No vassal bishops pay tax to me.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2016, 06:17:28 pm by LordBrassroast »
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LordBrassroast

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #102 on: June 29, 2016, 08:15:18 am »

Hey everyone,

Picked up Sword of Islam, The Republic, and African and Mongol portraits, so a couple models/portraits might look different.

JumpingJack

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #103 on: July 03, 2016, 03:51:46 pm »

Good, good. Now you can see the true faces of both your Moorish foes, and the eventual Mongol horde punishment of God. Also:

Here begins the writing of King Mihangel
Well, my dad kicked the bucket, so I guess I'm King now. It's alright, but it's a lot of work. All I ever really wanted to do was become the Marshal.

While overall hilarious, this bit really got me. Poor Mihangel. :P
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LordBrassroast

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Re: Let's Unify Britannia: House Aberffraw (CKII)
« Reply #104 on: July 09, 2016, 07:36:34 pm »

The Long-Suffering Adventures of King Mihangel


((Picked up WoL and Horse Lords. Nomad government won't show up, but the Silk Road will.))

22 May, 906 Anno Domini

The Crusade for Aquitaine is won.


Speaking of the Crusade, I have chosen to focus on expanding the realm through War. My plan is to get a Sanctioned Invasion of Mercia, and then Holy War Jorvik as much as possible. To accomplish the first, I need more Papal Opinion. I fire off a quick Indulgence letter.

He still doesn't like me enough, even at 94 opinion. Well, I have my priest pretty much permanently camping Improve Religious Relations in Rome. I'm sure we'll get there at some point.r

My uncle Arthfael is worried, as he isn't married. My leper uncle. However, he is my favorite uncle, so I marry the guy to a similarly-warlike Princess of Slavland or wherever. Hopefully his dong doesn't fall off before the wedding. Also, interesting side note. My grandfather was so prolific in popping out children that this guy is younger than I am.


And then he asks for a county of his own. Whatever, he's my friend. I give him Leinster.

My mother is worried about Arthfael and his requests. I tell her there's no way Arthfael will ever betray me.



On the home front, we camped relations with the Pope enough to ask for an invasion of Mercia.

Mayor Meurig and I are both convinced someone is trying to poison me. I am honestly unsurprised by this turn of events.

Excellent. The Welsh Reconquest has begun. Wait, did I just say "excellent" when a plan went my way? I'm turning into my father.


Well it turns out my cook is a lying asshole. I feel better.


Well, they have more soldiers than expected from our recon, so I borrow money from the Jews again. And I had just paid that off. My army of Welshmen and mercs marches into Perfeddwlad to deal with the Mercian army.

We win.


My plan is to siege baronies until I run out of money, due to the way the Invasion CB works. If I siege all the holdings in Mercia I can replace the holders with Welshmen who like me. Like those exist. My main plan is to take the King of Mercia's demesne first. We march on his Worcester barony first. Also, my mother just died.

Well, the King of Mercia called the King of East Francia into the war. The King of EF has a whole 7 boats. I'm terrified. That was sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell. Most people in Wales are illiterate moron peasants. Wait, why are you reading this if you're an illiterate peasant?

Also, this is the woman my father betrothed me to. She's a genius, beautiful, a wonderful person. There's just one problem: She's my cousin. And I need a male heir.


Well, she's preggers. This kid better be a boy, and he better survive. And he better not be inbred.

Aand its a daughter. And gavelkind is taking effect if I die now. At least she's not inbred.

The Saxons keep countersiegeing things faster than we can kill their army and reinforcing from nowhere. I'm going to get peace as soon as we have the King's demesne and the two Welsh-cultured counties on the border.

Alright. 2000 Welshmen have died in this war and we've taken the King's demesne and one Welsh cultured county. We have 100% warscore, it's time to sue for peace.

Ok, a bit of demesne management later, my favorite uncle Arthfael is Count of Worcester and Duke of Mercia. As you can clearly see from the attached map, Wales is great. I think I'm going to start call myself "The Victorious".


In addition, the Vikings are in a bad way. The only Viking realms in Britain are Jorvik, the Jorvik Revolt, a tiny county owned by Smaland, and Mann. Scotland chills like it always has and Strathclyde is getting steadily bigger. Hwicce kills everything, but Wessex is back from the brink and steadily ascendant. In addition, Wessex and Jorvik are in two separate defensive pacts against us, because religion, but they're each the only one in them, so they really aren't working as intended. The Irish are beginning to coalesce into larger petty kingdoms.

A map of the wider world:

Everything north and east of Germany is a mess, per usual. Karlings are Karling per usual and Kebab is Kebabbing per usual and slowly pushing into mainland Sicily. In exchange, Karling wound up with Barcelona after the Crusade and two counties in Africa. I'm not sure how that one happened. The Byzantines haven't done much except fight with the Aghlabids over Sicily. Bulgaria, as usual, turned back the Magyar invasion and is far larger than it has any right to be. I have no idea how ahistorical India has gotten because I know nothing about India circa 900 CE. Asturias broke into 2 kingdoms and a duchy. Don't let the brown color fool you, Toledo is Muslim. Brittany was unified by Haesteinn and then got hit with a Liberation Revolt.

It is 27 March, 914.

PROGRESS TODAY: Conquered Mercia. Gave self cool nickname.

STATUS:
Cash: 18
Prestige: 1463
Piety: 767
Ruler age: 37
Heir age: 18
Vassals: A lot low-key dislike me for general Welshness. Some hate my guts with a passion. A few like me. I have too many vassals to give exact numbers now. All seven bishops give tax to the Pope. Or the other pope.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2016, 06:19:27 am by LordBrassroast »
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