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[LordBrassroast]

The Adventures of the House Aberffraw

Come, join us, as I recount the adventures of the House of Aberffraw, Lords of Powys, in an EPIC ADVENTURE to unify the Celts and liberate their island from miscellaneous Germanic peoples. Also, not die. That is an important part of the adventure. Come join Randy Rhodri of the Like-15-Children-Counting-Bastards and his heirs of varying competence.

RULERS:
King Rhodri the Randy: Petty King of Powys, first King of All Brythoniad in many a century. Had approximately 15 children, including several bastards. Died comatose in 884.
King Anarawd the Dubiously Competent: Had the worst diplomacy I'd ever seen. Realized his father's dream of unifying Wales. Was unable to realize his own dream of learning to not be a dick. Died a natural death in 905.
King Mihangel the Long-Suffering: Good at war, average at intrigue. Crap at everything else. Got betrothed to his own cousin because she was Genius. Finally paid off his dad's debts. Then promptly had to borrow more. Fell in love with the cousin. Then the cousin fell out of love with him.

Spoiler: DLC list: (click to show/hide)

Legacy of Rome
The Old Gods
Sunset Invasion
Sons of Abraham
Charlemagne
Sword of Islam
The Republic
Way of Life
Horse Lords (installed after game start, no nomads but silk road)
Reaper's Due

DISCLAIMER: I am exactly 0% Welsh (as far as I know. I am part English and Irish, so it is possible) and am 110% PROUD 'MERICAN. As such, please forgive me if I make a few spelling errors. I chose Wales because it is the smallest and most doomed kingdom in Britannia and making it an empire will be fun.

DISCLAIMER 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: You will see the phrase "Dubiously Competent" or varieties thereof appear a lot. I didn't come up with that one, so I want to give credit where credit is due:

Just posting to say that I'm enjoying the dubious competence of the line of Welsh monarchy. 

Spoiler: Old OP (click to show/hide)

So.

I had an idea.

Start in the Old Gods date, unify Wales, and form the British Empire under the Welsh flag. Keep it going until the game ends.

We're probably going to crash, burn, and die horribly, but why not, what do we have to lose.

I'll start as Powys, and I'll post here as things happen. I'll do ten-year updates, because I play on the 3x speed setting due to the fact that the game is painfully slow otherwise. The only DLC installed is Old Gods.
GOAL 1:
De jure kingdom of Wales. For that, I need 5 counties and cash.

[LordBrassroast]

January 1, 867. We are King Rhodri the Great of Powys, and we want to become King of all Wales. And eventually Emperor of Britain. AND THEN THE WORLD. But let's focus on Wales for now. Also, we have a shit-ton of kids and one bastard.



First things first, I send my chancellor to fabricate a claim on the county of Cornwall.

Then, I marry my son to some chick from the Duchy of Toulouse.

We are a grandparent, our son has a half-French baby girl. She's adorable, and by adorable I mean she looks like every other child in Europe.

Our second-oldest son is now a Mastermind Theologian. I foresee a long career as my Court Chaplain.

Some raiders from Vestisland show up. I call the banners.


They slap the shit out of the enemies of Wales. Wales > crappy viking losers.

The whole Great Heathen Army thing is worrying me slightly. Eh, I'm sure we'll be fine.

Our Queen is now Incapable and one of our other many sons is an Indulgent Wastrel. I try to provide for this family....

More raiders. This time they come from Medelpad. Stabbity Stab Stab, we win, yaaaaay.

East Anglia is no longer an independent country, having been conquered by Vikings.

Our wife died comatose. However, we already have a ton of children.

Some dude from an Aquitanian Revolt wants us to marry off one of our daughters. Sure, whatevs. This way we have an alliance with Aquitaine either way.

The King of Dehubearth or however that's spelled just finished up a losing war against a Danish jarl. One of my courtiers has a de jure claim of one of his counties. I make that dude my vassal by giving him County Perrfedwlad and then press his claim.

I raise the armies and call my friend from the Aquitanian Revolt to war. We march on the disputed county at full strength.

The other Welsh king calls in the King of Navarra. That could be bad.

We have won the first siege of a required 3.

I marry another daughter to the Prince of Lotharingia. That will help. I then call him to war.

There's a new Pope in town. I send some cash his way to make sure I don't get excommunicated or anything.
GREEDY BASTARD WANTS $307.7! What happened to the whole vow of poverty thing?

2/3 sieges complete, warscore 71% in my favor. I slap some inept losers trying to siege Gwynedd who don't even have the numbers and begin the next siege.

The revolt guy from earlier is gone because his liege started a different war.

SHITSHITSHIT
The other Welsh guy called in West Francia and Aquitaine to the war! Where are the German guys I called? SHIT

NEED MERCS
WHICH ARE EXPENSIVE

I hire the cheapest mercs I can find, the Swiss Band. We'll probably go deeply into debt over this.

My preexisting stack of ~1000 deals with the 1000 man Frankish amphibious landing force, but is almost wiped out. I send the last 400 native soldiers and the 1500 mercs to siege the last city in a desperate bid for the war to be done before France kills us all.

SIEGE DONE
WARSCORE 100

OFFER PEACE, ENFORCE DEMANDS

Whew. We narrowly averted disaster and almost started a world war over one county in Wales. I think that's a good place to stop for now. It hasn't been 10 years yet, but maybe the timescale should be more fluid.

PROGRESS TODAY:
County of Gwent is ours! Well, our vassal's, but still!
We possess 4/5 counties required for De Jure Kingdom of Wales.

STATUS REPORT
It is 24 September, 872.
Cash: 129
Prestige: 550
Piety: 64
Our ruler is 52 years old, our heir is 22.
All vassals happy, bishop likes Pope more than me. NO CHURCH TAX FOR YOU!

[LordBrassroast]

24 September, 872. King Rhodri has won an almost-world war over the County of Gwent. We have 1 more county to conquer, then we can de jure our way into King of Wales.

More Viking raiders. Dealt with handily.

I ransom some mayor for 25 bucks and tell my son to stop plotting his brother's deaths.

WELL WE'RE IN A WAR WITH WEST FRANCIA.


Why do only the Vikings have adequate boats? Why?

Oh, joys, Wessex is in on the war, so we only have to walk to find people to kill unnecessarily.

I begin the siege of Gloucester.

I give a "good tumble" to some courtier Annest. This may result in several bastards, but whatever. I can just have them take the vows, right?

Gloucester is mine, but a 5k doomstack is screwing up Lotharingia epically. Warscore at -1%.

Shit, we got a bastard. His name is Iorweth. I acknowledge him as mine, but he's not my real son.

Well, the guy who we're fighting for is excommunicated, and basically everything is on fire. I say we return our levies to our home provinces and wait until the warscore is depleted enough for people to admit they lost.

And now I have to go to bed. I'll finish this up later.

PROGRESS TODAY: Pointless war.
4/5 Counties to form De Jure Wales

STATUS:
It is March 11, 876
Cash: 222
Prestige: 597
Piety: 106
Ruler age: 56
Heir age: 26
Vassals: Happy, bishop sending taxes to the Pope.

[Wysthric]

Managed to do this as Jewish Wales once! Was easier in some respects because nobody got EZ claims on you.

[LordBrassroast]

I'm sticking with the Catholics for EZ marriage.

[Twinwolf]

PTW

[BFEL]

I get the "always click accept" reflex that happens when you get called to war (it has caused me problems now that people wanting you to rebel use that screen, tricky fucks) but the war was CLEARLY an excommunication war, so in that case I would say it's not a bad idea to check which side you're on. Between that and the watery separation, that is one of the few I would consider declining personally.

Also were you crazy and actually going to SEND the troops you said you would? The idea is "always click accept AND THEN SEND NOTHING"

[LordBrassroast]

I sort of just sent 1k troops into Wessex, sieged 1 city, and said "Screw this, I do not wanna piss off West Francia" and went home.

Also, prestige costs.

Anyway, this will be on hiatus until Sunday night because I'll be at my dad's house and won't have my computer. 

[hector13]

Prion Twisting Weasels

[BFEL]

Also, prestige costs.

100.

[TD1]

PTW

[LordBrassroast]

It is 11 March, 876. I am returning our armies to Powys and standing down the vassal levies. I'm not going to fight a losing war for no real reason. Also, the King of Deheubarth, the Welsh realm immediately south, has decided to join the shitshow.

Our heir has another son, named Mihangel. Joys.

Another bastard. I may have to kill my lover or at least take her as a wife. I think I'll go for Option 2. I'll lose some prestige, but we can take it. I marry her.

We have a claim on County Devon. Soon the war will begin. Soon. I will wait till our current war is done.

Vikings in Perrfwlad. They are dealt with.

Typhoid fever in 3 of our counties. I have to press the claim we have before Rhodri dies, and I want to make sure we do. One of my courtiers contracting a horrible disease does not bode well for my survival.

We have typhoid. We need to start the war.

The war begins. We are fighting Cornwall for the County of Devon.

The Cornish forces are approximately equal to our own. This will not do. I hire me up the Swiss Band.

The Cornish King calls in an Irish chief. I'm not too worried.

We're alive. The fever has passed.

We smash the Cornish army at Winchcombe, but we must retreat to our home provinces and drive our their Irish allies before sieges can begin.


We crush the Irish army and utterly remove the remnants of the Cornish army before marching on Devon.

Siege 1/3 complete.

The Excommunication War is finally over. Lotharingia is now ruled by a child and about 1/2 its original size.

Siege 2/3 complete.

Warscore is at 100. Offer peace, enforce demands.


We can create the Kingdom of Wales!


*GoT theme plays in background*
All Hail King Rhodri I, King of all Brythoniaid.

The other Welsh kings don't seem to want to vassalize peacefully. Well, that's what de jure wars are for. Anyway, now seems like a good place to stop.

PROGRESS TODAY:
King of Brythoniaid.
5/8 Counties to De Facto King of Wales.

STATUS:
Date: 31 October 879.
Cash: 24
Prestige: 1866
Piety: 12
Ruler Age: 59
Heir Age: 29
Vassals: All happy, 2/3 Bishops paying tax to Pope.

[EuchreJack]

Wow, you created that Kingdom title with barely any piety to spare!  Good thing you lived such a virtuous life, ha ha ha!

[LordBrassroast]

See, the question now is what to do after we subjugate the rest of Wales. Do we take the rest of England (probably a stupid idea due to the Anglo-Karling alliance network and the alliance between the Sons of Ragnar) or nom Ireland while they are weak, before the Vikings get to them? Personally, I'm leaning towards Irish conquest because there is no way we can take on the Anglo-Saxon kingdoms or Jorvik yet. But I want to hear your opinions, so there is a poll.

[hector13]

Safest option is to go after Ireland.

But who wants to go safe? Smash the Anglos!