Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

Author Topic: How do moody dwarves fuel forges? Lore on the World's First Charcoal  (Read 1076 times)

QED

  • Escaped Lunatic
    • View Profile
How do moody dwarves fuel forges? Lore on the World's First Charcoal
« on: January 21, 2016, 11:46:55 pm »
I just wrote this on the wiki's page for Strange Moods, but I thought I might as well share it here too.


Curiously, metalsmiths in strange moods do not seem to require any fuel to complete their metal artifacts. It is believed that they, consumed by artistic passion, fuel the forges with their own beards, vigorously fanning the flaming hairs while they feed the furnace more beard. Such a sacrifice is a dwarf's own beard, that only an artifact merits its removal. Only an artifact's completion can mollify its creator's shame; dwarves unable to complete this great pursuit go insane, not because of its failure, but because they cannot endure the inevitable humiliation.

Legend has it, that the world's first elf once attempted to forge the world's most powerful artifact, imbued with magic to control all dwarves. But, because he could not suffer to cut a tree for fuel, he was unable to do so. Faced with no alternative, he kidnapped each of the seven ancient dwarves by tempting them with booze, an unfamiliar drink to the first dwarves. He then forcefully shaved them, and created charcoal from their beards.

Enraged by their loss, the dwarves set out to find the elf's home, based in the world's first tree. They startled the engrossed elf who fled with nothing but a handful of the tree's unborn children. After reclaiming the beard-charcoal, the dwarves set fire to this tree. Alight in flames hotter than the sun, the tree burnt in what is believed to have been the world's hottest fire -- a fire so hot, that the tree's roots melted the inside of the earth, creating a worldwide magma sea. The elf watched this fire, and swore revenge on the dwarves.

After realizing their beards could not be recovered from their charred state, the dwarves agreed to sprinkle the charcoal over the earth, as a gift and reminder to future dwarves. In doing so, they created the world's bituminous coal deposits. They then spent the next years searching for a way to create the drink they had been given. Discovering new drinks along their pursuit, the dwarves eventually perfected the hidden art of brewing booze and passed this emerging knowledge to coming generations.
Logged

Catmeat

  • Bay Watcher
  • 50/50 cat pork burger wth sweet lime sauce is best
    • View Profile
Re: How do moody dwarves fuel forges? Lore on the World's First Charcoal
« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2016, 05:47:23 am »
Drugs are bad for you
Logged
Puns are social lubricant.
Too much and you lose sensation

greycat

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: How do moody dwarves fuel forges? Lore on the World's First Charcoal
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2016, 12:08:09 pm »
Problem: female dwarves don't have beards.  Do they sacrifice their hair?
Logged
Hell, if nobody's suffocated because of it, it hardly counts as a bug! -- StLeibowitz

QED

  • Escaped Lunatic
    • View Profile
Re: How do moody dwarves fuel forges? Lore on the World's First Charcoal
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2016, 12:33:45 pm »
Quote from: greycat on January 22, 2016, 12:08:09 pm
Problem: female dwarves don't have beards.  Do they sacrifice their hair?
Most likely. We may be able to assume that those carrying babies have other means...
Logged

QuQuasar

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: How do moody dwarves fuel forges? Lore on the World's First Charcoal
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2016, 04:04:38 am »
Quote from: QED on January 22, 2016, 12:33:45 pm
Quote from: greycat on January 22, 2016, 12:08:09 pm
Problem: female dwarves don't have beards.  Do they sacrifice their hair?
Most likely. We may be able to assume that those carrying babies have other means...
They shave the babies beards?
Logged

Naryar

  • Bay Watcher
  • [SPHERE:VERMIN][LIKES_FIGHTING]
    • View Profile
Re: How do moody dwarves fuel forges? Lore on the World's First Charcoal
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2016, 03:54:49 pm »
I would assume they would punch the metal until it becomes red-hot, but flaming beards are cool enough.

Not that I ever build any kind of forge other than a magma forge, though.
Logged

Baffler

  • Bay Watcher
  • Caveat Lector.
    • View Profile
Re: How do moody dwarves fuel forges? Lore on the World's First Charcoal
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2016, 04:40:58 pm »
Quote from: greycat on January 22, 2016, 12:08:09 pm
Problem: female dwarves don't have beards.  Do they sacrifice their hair?

They have beards! It's just commented out in the RAWs, for those who for whatever reason need to moderate their exposure to dwarfyness.
Logged
Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.